Jane Stalwart: the Coc of Osiris

Note: This story is my attempt at a pulp style adventure story. It features a larger than life heroine and her female Irish sidekick. It's a little different from my usual stories, but it does contain the hardcore sex scenes (and a lot of them) one would expect from a Stormbringer story. The story is ten chapters long, with the heavy sex scenes in chapters 4-9, but the opening chapters are short, so don't skip ahead.

Chapter One: In The Shadow of the Pyramids

"This way," said Hassan. The words hissing through the gap in the Egyptian's yellowed teeth. "The professor is waiting."

"One moment," answered Lady Jane. Her eyes moved from the sphinx down to the sketchbook in her left hand. Her right hand moved swiftly running the charcoal over the paper.

Patty looked down from the back of her camel. "Well drawn, Lady Jane," she said. Patricia O'Toole was Jane's Lady's Maid and had been in her employ for five years now, her constant companion and confidant. The lovely red head was pale and sweaty. The young Irish woman did not do well in the heat and sun of the Egyptian desert.

Jane Stalwart nodded her head satisfied at her sketch of the sphinx. She'd already added a sketch of the pyramids of Giza to her book and one of the crowded marketplace of Cairo.

"Please Lady, the professor was most urgent," hissed Hassan again.

Lady Jane glanced with distaste at their ugly little guide. The brown skinned Egyptian stared back at her with his beady black eyes, eyes that lingered hungrily on the swell of her white bosom. Patty leaned down and offered her hand to her employer. The two women were doubled up on the camel and Jane took her place at the reins as Patty adjusted the umbrella to cover both women in it's shade. Hassan's eyes flickered back and forth between the two white woman, licking his lips with lust. Jane smiled at him, but her eyes were cold as they glanced down at the pistol holstered on the camel's side making sure his eyes followed hers. She almost wished the hideous little man would try something. Jane nodded at him and Hassan urged his camel forwards.

Professor Al Arash stood in the entryway of the white stone building he'd been excavating. He wore a loose flowing white robe and a red fez. Egyptian workers carried baskets of stone past him, dumping them nearby. He took off his hat and wiped his sweaty head with the back of his hand as he waved at the approaching camels. "I don't believe it," yelled the famous Egyptologist.

"Professor Arash," greeted Jane, skillfully sliding off her camel.

"What happened to the skinny little girl I used to tickle in her father's office at Cambridge?"

He grasped her shoulders and kissed her on both cheeks.

"She grew up, Professor," replied Jane, staring fondly at her father's former colleague.

"I can see that," he said, glancing at her breasts before quickly removing his eyes in embarrassment. "And please, call me Omar."

Jane Stalwart smiled and nodded. Her girdle tended to squeeze her breasts together making her already ample cleavage even larger. Men, even older men, like Omar Al Arash, couldn't resist a glance. She'd often wondered why women's fashion favored a thin tree-like appearance when men clearly seemed to prefer a more buxom woman. Lady Jane was dressed for traveling in the heat in riding trousers that even she admitted hugged her rather full rear end a little too tightly. Her blouse was cut low and did reveal the tops of her breasts. The girdle hugging her trim athletic waist showed off her near perfect hour glass figure. Her long raven dark hair was pulled back in a pony tail. "It is good to see you, Omar," she told him, her blue eyes sparkling at the white haired Egyptian.

Professor Al Arash stepped back, his eyes taking in the entirety of her face and figure. There was no lust in his eyes, only appreciation for her beauty. "You're the spitting image of your mother you know. A fine woman."

"So I'm told," replied Lady Jane. Her mother, Giselle, had been a rather famous French singer that had fallen madly in love with the dashing British Major John Stalwart during the great war. Sadly, she had died when Jane was quite young.

Hassan tried to help Patty off the camel, but she shrugged him off, falling on her rear end as she stumbled. She did allow Hassan to help her to her feet after that. Patty actually appeared more of a Lady then Jane did. The Irish Lady Maid wore a white dress and a broad brimmed white hat to keep the sun from burning her porcelain freckled skin. Her long luscious red hair was pulled up on her head concealed under her lacy cocked hat.

Jane introduced Patty and Professor Omar led them away from the excavation and towards his large tent. Hassan held the camels, watching them with his beady eyes as they walked away.

Chapter Two: The Cock of Osiris

"So Profess... Omar," said Jane taking a seat in front of the Professor's desk. "What did you wish to see me about and why the urgency?"

"I've uncovered something amazing," said Al Arash, sitting at his desk and bending over to start unlocking a large safe. He opened it and removed an ancient box, covered in hieroglyphics. "I couldn't believe my luck when I heard that the daughter of John Stalwart was here in Egypt."

"Lovely," said Jane, glancing at the box with interest. "Old, early fifth dynasty, that's Osiris and that would be..."

"Is she holding a phallus?" interjected Patty, staring with as much interest at the box as Jane was giving it.

"Yes Patricia. That's Osiris' wife Isis and the other woman is Nepthys. One myth has Set cutting Osiris into pieces. Isis reassembled the pieces, but couldn't find his penis so she fashioned a penis of gold for him and brought him back to life long enough for him to impregnate her with the god, Horus. After that, Osiris went from a god of fertility to a god of the underworld. There's a hieroglyph of him still with his penis. As you can see it's erect and..."

"And very large," said Patty, giggling.

"Hush Patty," said Jane, giving her Lady Maid a stern look. Jane was only five years older then Patty's twenty-one and much more worldly.

"You are your father's daughter," said Omar, impressed with Jane's knowledge. He opened the box. Jane's eyes widened when he lifted it contents out.

"Very large indeed," gasped Patty, staring at the golden phallus. "And very lifelike." The erect penis was nearly a foot long and resembled a real penis having veins, bumps, and ridges.

"May I?" asked Jane, reaching for it.

"Careful," said Omar, handing it to her. "The COCK OF OSIRIS is said to be cursed."

"They're always cursed," replied Jane. The second she touched the golden COCK, Jane had one of her insights. A bald priest with kohl eyeliner highlighting his eyes was holding the COCK high in his hands looking down upon an orgy of naked bodies, men and women entwined in love making and not always with members of the opposite sex. Jane shook her head to clear it, hefting the phallus in both hands. She turned the penis and stared at the broken base with interest before handing it back to the Egyptologist, "Not solid gold."

"Stone covered in gold," said Omar, returning the COCK to the box.

"What's the deal with the curse then?" asked Patty.

"It's not common knowledge, but Isis was said to once have been the goddess of purity and virginity, but Osiris' phallus turned her into a goddess of sex and fertility. When Isis first saw her brother's penis, she became enamored of it. Osiris took her maidenhead and she lost some of her purity. He took her a second time and she became more wanton, willing to service his cock with her mouth and loving the taste of his manly seed. Then Set cut Osiris to pieces and hid them throughout the world. Isis turned mad with arousal, her need for her husband's phallus grew into a maddening lust until she fashioned him a new cock from gold, attaching it to his body and mating with him for a third time and conceiving Horus. After the third time, Isis changed for good, lusting for sex constantly and taking on all comers. I'm sorry if this offends you, young lady." Patty appeared distraught by the story.

"My word!" Patty was blushing furiously. The flush spread from her cheeks down to her chest. "I'm... fine professor."

"Egyptian mythology is not a good subject for those offended by tales of sex, Patricia," interjected Jane studying the hieroglyphs on the box while Omar sealed it. "And most other mythologies for that matter."

Omar raised an eyebrow and nodded his head in agreement."This artifact is said to be the actual one constructed by Isis herself. It is said to have the same powers as the actual cock of the god. Anyone man or woman baptized by the COCK OF OSIRIS three times will become as wanton as the goddess herself."

"What does it mean, baptized?" asked Patty.

"It means the cock must ejaculate on you," said Jane, sitting up from her examination of the box. "But since a stone phallus can't ejaculate, I believe we are safe Miss O'Toole."

"God save Ireland," muttered Patty, gulping.

The professor sat back and smiled. "So did you recognize the phallus, Lady Stalwart.

Jane smiled back. "Indeed I did, Professor Al Arash, the fractured back of the COCK appears to be an exact match for a certain statue of Osiris you and my father recovered from the desert twenty years ago."

"The statue in the British Museum?" asked Patty.

The professor's smile faded. "Jane, I need you to return the COCK to the statue and as soon as possible. There are certain forces that do not want the COCK to leave Egypt."

"Why do YOU want it to leave Egypt?" asked Jane. "You've been arguing to keep ancient Egyptian artifacts in country for years."

"The COCK is dangerous as are the forces looking for it. Besides, it belongs on the statue, reunited with Osiris. Please Lady Stalwart."

Jane reached out and took the professor's hand. "Of course Omar. It means heading for home a little sooner then I planned, but I can leave tomorrow."

"Praise Mary," muttered Patty, wiping sweat off her forehead. She was eager to return to a more god favored climate.

"I'm staying at the Continental. Meet me for breakfast around half past eight." Jane stood up from the chair.

"Gladly Lady Jane. I'll see about chartering a plane to Istanbul for you."

Jane turned to leave the tent before looking back. "Oh and Professor?" she asked. "Don't forget to bring that big COCK with you."

Chapter Three: Murder in Cairo

Patty ran the wet sponge down over Jane's breasts and belly before moving it back to the basin and soaking it in the soapy water again. She retrieved her lady's comb and stepped so close her erect fairer rosy nipples pressed against Jane's darker and longer nipples. Jane had already soaked her hair and Patty let the comb glide through Jane's long wet hair, finding few tangles to unsnarl. "All clean then," said Patty, looking on her mistress with approval.

"Thank you Patty," said Jane. "Turn around and I'll get your back for you."

Patty lifted her wet red hair up off her shoulders while Jane ran to soapy sponge down her back and over the outward curve of her buttocks. Their relationship hadn't started out this intimate, with mistress washing servant, but as their friendship grew, they become more like sisters then Lady and Lady's Maid. Of course, Jane Stalwart had no compunctions against getting down and dirty. She preferred doing everything herself and hadn't even wanted a Lady's Maid except that her father had insisted upon it for decorum's sake.

There was a loud knock on the door.

"Yes," called Jane.

"A Professor Al Arash is waiting your pleasure in the dining room, Miss Stalwart," came the voice of the porter through the door.

"Please tell the Professor we will be down momentarily," she yelled back.

"Very good madam," he replied.

The women dressed themselves. Jane dressed to travel in black trousers and boots. She wore a white front buttoned blouse, a little low cut for conservative Egypt. Gaps between the buttons gave glimpses of her lovely white skin. She tied her hair back and put her bag on her belt, including her pistol for protection. Patty could never be convinced that wearing pants wasn't sinful and wore a lacy green dress and hat that flattered her red hair and pale complexion. She included her umbrella. Oddly, the servant's clothing was usually more expensive then her employer's which Jane always found amusing and many people she met assumed Patty was Lady Stalwart. Their bags were already packed and the hotel would see them delivered to the air field.

"Surely, two goddesses returned to life," said Omar standing when the two women arrived at the breakfast table. Jane nodded at the compliment while Patty blushed and curtsied. "I chartered a "tin goose" to Istanbul, but the only flight leaves in two hours."

"Thank you Omar," said Jane. There was some bread and jam already on the table as well as a bowl of dates. "That shouldn't be a problem." Jane retrieved some bread and spread some jam on it. The waiter approached and Jane looked up, "I'll have the ful medames with tomatoes."

"I'll have the same, but no tomatoes," added Patty.

Their breakfast arrived swiftly and the two women ate while Omar Al Arash regaled Jane with tales of Omar's adventures with Sir John Stalwart. The two adventurer archaeologists had traveled all over Europe, Africa, and the Middle East. Hearing her father's version of the same stories had made up Jane's mind for her. Despite being a woman, she wanted to have her own adventures.

"May we visit the souk before we leave?" asked Patty. "There was a vase I wanted to purchase."

"Actually, we can walk to the air field through the Khan el-Khalili. It would be good to stretch our legs before the flight," said Jane, standing up from the table. "And you know Patty, that those vases are just knock offs for the tourists."

"Aye, but me ma and da don't know that," said Patty with a smile. "I'm the only O'Toole to leave Ireland that wasn't fighting in some war for the empire."

"Do you have the COCK, professor?" asked Jane.

"Yes, Of course," replied Omar. He picked up a bag which held the COCK of Osiris in it's box. He clutched the bag to his chest. "I think I'll accompany you to the air field. I'll hold on to it until then."

"You seem reluctant to let it go, Omar," said Jane.

"Of course, it's the discovery of a lifetime," said Omar, sadly. "But it needs to get out of Egypt."

The three exited the Grand Continental. Patty opened her umbrella as soon as they left the shadow of the awning. It was a short walk to the souk, Cairo's fabled Khan el-Khalili marketplace. The souk was huge and filled with almost any type of food or goods one could imagine. Patty found the peddler of clay jars painted with hieroglyphics and selected one she liked, haggling the seller down to half his asking price and seemed proud of herself though Jane knew he would have sold it for a quarter of the price. They turned to leave the vendor when a collective gasp rose from voices in the crowded market.

A man had appeared at one end of the market. The man was a figure from the time of myth. He wore a white Egyptian skirt and tunic that left his arms bare. Arms that bulged with muscles and were as black as the darkest sub-Saharan negro. His face was hidden behind a Set mask. Unlike the other gods, the head of Set was unidentifiable and Egyptologists referred to it as a Set animal. It was black with a large snout and big ears, part jackal and part aardvark.

"It's HIM!" gasped Omar with genuine fright.

Jane's eyes took in dark robed figures working their way around the edges of the crowd trying to surround them. The men wore turbans and had most of their faces covered. Each held drawn Khopesh sickle-swords in their hands. "Patricia, your umbrella if you please," ordered Jane. Patty was too distracted by the strange man's appearance to realize their danger and just absentmindedly handed Jane her umbrella. Jane lowered the canopy and reversed the umbrella so that the hook end was sticking out. "Professor, please enlighten me."

"His name is AKET! The high priest of a Set cult and the reason I wanted to get the COCK out of Egypt before he found out I'd discovered it. How did he find out?"

To answer the professor's question, Aket held up one muscular arm and lowered it, pointing his finger at Omar. As he did, he turned sideways and a short brown skinned Egyptian appeared by his side, a multi-bladed throwing dagger in his hand. The short man grinned evilly at the group.

"HASSAN!" hissed the professor.

"Follow me," said Jane Stalwart calmly. She turned and started running past some market stalls when the first cultist was upon them. He ignored her and went for the professor stabbing forwards with his Khopesh and gazing at Jane with disbelief when she used the umbrella to parry his sword. His eyes grew even wider when she grabbed his wrist and flipped him over, while reversing the umbrella in her hand and bringing the heavy wooden hilt handle down hard on his head.

Patty gasped and the professor grabbed her wrist pulling her past Jane. A second cultist was almost upon them. Jane turned and ran from the man, the hook of the umbrella catching on the leg of a table filled with dates. "My apologies," she shouted at the angry merchant as the display fell spilling dates across the ground. The cultist slipped in the dates and fell on his buttocks. "Patty, your jar if you please." Patty reluctantly handed it over and Jane shattered the jar over the fallen cultist's head. She looked up and saw the giant form of Aket striding towards her, shoving anyone who got in his way aside. Jane turned around and yelled for Omar and Patty to hurry. A cultist had caught up with them. The professor was gallantly shielding Patty behind him using his bag to block the thrusts of the cultist's sword. Another thrust and the sword seemed to stick in the bag, caught in the priceless ancient box containing the COCK. He tugged hard and just as his sword came free, the hook of the umbrella came around his neck and Jane roughly yanked him backward, kicking him in the head as he came down.

But just as Jane was about to run on, she was yanked backwards as her ponytail was grabbed and pulled hard. Instead of going down, Jane went with it, and rolled backwards coming quickly to her feet just as Aket bent down to pick up the fallen cultist's sword. He stood and the two faced each other. She could see his eyes behind the mask. They stared intently at her. She watched as they narrowed almost like a vipers, and quickly the umbrella came up to parry the first thrust of his sword and the second. The metal of the spine on the umbrella held well, but the cloth was soon in tatters. Still, the blows Aket was raining down on her were so powerful, the umbrella began to bend. His was brute strength over skill, but brute strength might just be enough for the powerful black Egyptian to win the day.

Jane was a skilled fencer, but the umbrella wasn't a rapier and when she did take the chance, thrusting the tip forwards, it did little damage to the muscle bound priest. Instead, he caught her off guard, grabbing the umbrella and yanking her forwards. Jane watched in horror as he raised the sword and brought it down even as her momentum carried her withing reach of the steel blade. She bent backward, pulling the umbrella free of his grasp even as the curved blade of the Kopesh tore down through the buttons on her blouse and slicing the girdle beneath.

Jane's huge bosom burst free, jiggling in the bright Egyptian sun. Her nipples were hard with the excitement of the fight and her breasts glistened with sweat in the light. She stared down at them momentarily. "Every time," she muttered, she muttered shaking her head.

Aket had paused, sword raised above his head to come down in another powerful blow, one that might have cleaved her skull in two. He was frozen, the dark eyes beneath the mask staring in amazement at her bare breasts. Jane reversed the umbrella again and swung up hard with the sold wooden handle. Aket's mask shattered. The aardvark nose crumbled into pieces and the rest of the mask cracked. He stumbled backwards, shaking his head, trying to come to his senses, but instead he fell backwards and hit the ground so hard a cloud of dust rose up.