It's a Nude Life

Author's note: This is a work of fantasy. All characters are 18 or over.

*

(apologies to Jerome Bixby)

The headmistress was watching Very Adult Wednesday Addams on her laptop when her intercom buzzed. "Ms Funbags is here to see you," said her secretary.

"Send her in," said the headmistress, pressing pause. Just as it was getting exciting, she thought.

The door opened, and Ms Funbags walked in and sat in the couch opposite the desk, her legs spread just enough to show that she was a natural redhead. "I'm sorry to bother you," she told the headmistress, "but I found this book when I went back to my room last night." She reached into the manila envelope and withdrew a slim volume, holding it gingerly between her fingernails. "It claims to be a teachers' manual for teaching about abstinence-only sex education."

"Isn't that an oxymoron?" the headmistress replied. "Anyway, I thought you slept in one of the boys' dorms."

"I do -- though I don't always get much sleep - but there was a book in my room that I wanted. Not this nonsense, obviously."

"Did you ask your husband? Maybe it was his or, um..."

"Quinn's?" Ms Funbags shook her head. Unlike most of the girls in that year's class at Radclyffe Hall, Quinn Fatbottom was plump and rather plain, though her husband was obviously fond enough of her that Ms Funbags had had to wait for several minutes for the 18-year-old to get off his face so he could speak. "No, neither of them had ever seen it before either, though she had a good laugh at it until she saw some of the language."

The headmistress leafed through the book, and a faint blush appeared on her dark face as she noted the use of 'penis', 'vulva' and similar terms on the unglamorous-looking line drawings. Any girl using such unladylike words in public would have had her mouth washed out with jizz from every boy in the class, and when Seth, the geeky chess team captain, had slipped up and called a cunt a vagina, he'd had to apologize to Ms Funbags and every girl in the room by licking their clits until they came -- and then he'd had to write "Cunts deserve to be respected and cherished" on the whiteboard 69 times before he was allowed to come himself.

"Maybe it's meant as a sort of dystopian novel," the headmistress suggested. "Like Nineteen Eighty-Four or Fahrenheit 451. Or maybe it's a fantasy by some asexual. I mean, I've never understood aces, but I guess it's okay if they choose abstinence rather than having it forced upon them..." She shook her head as she continued to look through the book. "Very strange -- perverse, even. It seems obsessed with avoiding pregnancy, but ignores the obvious methods."

The teacher nodded. She didn't know any girl or woman at Radclyffe Hall who liked creampies in their twats, because of the likelihood that the next man they wanted to fuck didn't like sloppy seconds. Most of them wouldn't even take a cock into their cunt unless their mouth and asshole were already occupied and their boobs weren't big enough for a satisfying titfuck, and the men all seemed happy enough with this.

The headmistress turned to the inside back cover and looked at the name handwritten there. "Francine Foster... where have I heard that before?"

"Did she teach here, before I started?" asked Ms Funbags. "The closet was full of clothes -- quite unattractive clothes, and much too small to fit me, or Quinn, or Pete. Neither of them knew anything about them."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with wearing clothes," said the headmistress. "Look at those cute French maid outfits and pretty pink panties some of the boys have taken to wearing -- and a few of the girls, too. And the film students start some of their movies with people wearing clothes, rather than go straight to fucking. And since tomorrow's Halloween, a lot of the students will be wearing costumes. It's not necessary, of course, now that the weather's so warm all the time, and it's probably one of these fads that will pass, but I'm pretty sure I wore clothes myself sometimes, back when it was colder. Maybe those clothes were yours when you were younger and, uh, smaller. Were there names in any of them, or anything like that?" It suddenly occurred to her that Ms Funbags was lucky to have such humungous boobs, because a name like Fuckable Funbags would have been difficult to live down otherwise. She managed not to giggle at the thought. "I've seen the name Foster on some of the old paperwork, but I don't remember her, though. Maybe it was before my time." She shrugged, setting her tits bouncing distractingly. "Okay, this book is weird and a real turn-off, but all our students are adults, I don't see why they shouldn't read it if they want." Radclyffe Hall taught people who'd failed to get into university at eighteen and wanted a second chance. "As long as we make it perfectly clear that it's fiction, of course. Was there anything else?"

Fuckable looked unhappy. "There are dozens of copies in the storeroom."

"What? You're joking!"

"No. I had this weird feeling, so I went looking, and there they were. Someone had put them under health ed."

"That's taking a joke too far."

"I agree. Do you have any idea how they could have gotten there?"

"No, none. It must have been..."

"Before your time?"

"Yes."

"How long have you been here?"

"Well, I was a teacher before I became headmistress, so that's..." She was silent for a while. "I really don't remember how long. I'd have to look it up. Was there anything else?"

"Do you have up-to-date lists of my classes? I know students don't have to attend class if they don't want to, and are free to change, but I'm having trouble keeping track of who is supposed to be there. There seem to be more girls and fewer boys every time I look, and sometimes I go blank on their names."

"That's a worry," the headmistress responded. "You've always had a good memory for faces and cocks and tits. Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"Probably not."

"Enough sex?"

"I think so. Anthony fucks my tits or my ass nearly every night, and his girlfriends eat me out, and there's all the breakfast blowjobs... "

The headmistress smiled at the mention of purple-eyed Anthony Fremont. The new enrollee was popular, and understandably so: he was a great fuck, with a talented tongue and a cock that was the perfect size for any hole and that squirted out the yummiest cum she'd ever swallowed.

"But I'm worried about him, too," Fuckable continued. "His academic work still isn't very good, and I don't know how long it will be before he's ready to sit his exams."

"Let him go at his own pace," the headmistress advised. "I mean, the poor boy was homeschooled in some tiny town so far away from anywhere else he said it might as well have been in the Twilight Zone. With no kids of his own age around, either. He has a lot of catching up to do, and it's our duty to help him any way we can."

She turned her head to look at a hard cock that had just popped through the gloryhole in the office door. "Excuse me, I've got to get this. Is there anything else? I will be listening," she said, as she knelt in front of the gloryhole and began eagerly licking the cock.

"A couple of things," said Fuckable. She resisted the urge to kneel beside Ms Cumguzzler and share the cock with her; after all, she was called the headmistress partly because she was so good at giving head, though mostly because she was a natural dominatrix. Boys and girls who received a bare-bottom bare-handed spanking (always well-deserved) from Curvaceous Cumguzzler tended to stand up for the rest of the day and sleep on their stomachs, and anyone she ordered to worship her magnificent mahogany ass was expected to cancel any other plans for at least an hour.

"Hmmm," said Ms Cumguzzler, nodding.

Fuckable wasn't sure whether this was agreement or part of her famous deep throating technique, but she kept speaking. "How long have we been having Free Use Fridays?"

The headmistress took her mouth from the cock for a moment, but held it with one hand to prevent it escaping. "Not long enough," she said, before resuming fellatio.

Fuckable thought for a moment, and decided that was reasonable. "Can you email me those class lists?"

"Hmm mm hmm mm hmm hmm mm."

"Thanks. I'd better get back to my class." She walked out of the office and down the corridor. She passed a musclebound boy dressed in a maid's uniform and carefully avoided bumping into him, knowing that he would almost certainly cum in his panties if a woman touched him. She passed the theatre arts class where Ms Moneyshot was demonstrating sexual positions that looked best on camera for students who aspired to break into the porn business. In the next room, Nurse Knockers was giving lessons on analingus, pointing out that it was a skill that would be useful whether they dated women, men or both. Fuckable smiled, knowing that the nurse knew of what she spoke; though she couldn't remember the last time anyone in the school was sick or injured, students regularly turned up at the nurse's office so she could take their temperature with her long tongue or measure their blood pressure with her hairless cunt. And while her boobs weren't quite as big or beautiful as Fuckable's, she had thousands of subscribers to her onlyfans account because she could squirt milk on demand.

Fuckable walked back into her own classroom, where she'd left the students writing essays describing their favourite sexual fantasies. She glanced over the shoulders of some of them as she walked between the rows of desks, to see who was watching porn on their laptops rather than working. Bodacious Bubblebutt was working on a list of male students in increasing order of cock size for an anal gang bang, making Fuckable wonder if she should have suggested an upper word limit: still, she had to admire the research involved. And she nodded approvingly as she read Melony Mountains' fantasy of being eaten out for hours while two other people sucked her nipples, which were -- like Fuckable's -- as sensitive as her clit. It was a delightful image, and she could see why Melony was typing with one hand while she fingered her cunt. "Excellent," Fuckable said, before walking over to Anthony's desk and looking over his shoulder at his laptop screen. Moments later, without being entirely sure how it had happened, she was sitting on his lap with his well-lubed cock up her accommodating asshole and his hands caressing her enormous gravity-defying tits, bringing her huge bubble-gum-pink nipples up to her mouth to suck. Fuck, I love my job, she thought, before a string of shuddering orgasms made thought impossible.

*

Friday morning came around, and Fuckable reluctantly climbed out of Anthony's king-sized bed, staggered to the showers where she and Melony soaped up and dried each other's bodies, then applied lip gloss to their lips and nipples and lube to their assholes before grabbing their usual breakfast. The school nurse was already flat on a table as they arrived, feeding two of the other teachers while deep-throating a student's cock. After she'd swallowed enough cum to get her through until lunch, Fuckable touched up her lip gloss and walked to her classroom. As a teacher, she found Free Use Fridays frustrating because getting students to concentrate on their work was almost impossible - but as a total slut, she knew she wasn't in any position to complain, preferring positions that enabled easy access to her boobs, asshole, mouth and cunt.

Ophelia Mytits, the hot goth grrl, was already at her desk when Fuckable arrived. "Halloween tonight," she said cheerfully. "What are you coming as?"

"I'm coming as... often as I can," Fuckable replied, sitting on her queening chair with her legs spread. "I don't really see the point in spending an hour getting dressed up when my costume's not going to stay on for more than a few minutes."

"Yeah, but everybody already knows what we look like naked. And lots of people have a kink for different costumes. You'd make a fantastic Jessica Rabbit." She turned to her friend Licky Lucy as she walked in and sat next to her. "What about you? Are you getting dressed up tonight?"

"Depends," said Lucy. "Does a strap-on count as a costume?"

The teacher wasn't sure whether to smile or sigh, and abandoned all hope of getting any further with The Canterbury Tales today. Better to ask them to read out the stories they'd written yesterday, she thought. She knew there'd be plenty of volunteers.

*

Fuckable looked around the dining room as cosplayers paraded between the tables. A full Rocky Horror cast and a few extra Transylvanians time-warped their way down the aisle, followed by Nurse Knockers in her hucow horns and tail. Ophelia had bought or created an Elvira costume where the cleavage and the slit in the skirt almost met at the belt, giving brief glimpses of her inky-black landing strip framed by the garter belt holding up her black stockings. Ms Moneyshot had let some lucky volunteers paint a Vampirella costume onto her body, complete with a camel toe worthy of the famous Aurora model. Mehwish had dressed as genie in gauzy harem pants and a push-up bra, and her older sister Rimsha had wrapped bandages around her legs, arms and waist, explaining that she was the Mummy You'd Like to Fuck. Bodacious tried explaining that she'd come as Candy Corn, not a buttplug, but few of her fellow students seemed convinced. Quinn Fatbottom was catering to tentacle porn enthusiasts by dressing as Ursula from the Little Mermaid. And since no-one had come as the Space Vampire from Lifeforce this year, the prize for least effort put into costuming went to Slutty Suckstress's witch outfit; she was skyclad except for a pointy black hat and a broomstick.

The headmistress advised everyone to eat before the orgy, because they'd need their strength, but even if it hadn't still been Free Use Friday, it was obvious to Fuckable that a lot of the fish tacos, pork sausages and tossed salad wouldn't be eaten until much later. The same couldn't be said of Melony, who was already spread on a table with Ophelia licking her clit while Anthony and the math master sucked and fondled her titanic tits. Within minutes, Slutty Suckstress was riding her broomstick in an unconventional fashion while cramming two cocks into her mouth, and the genie granted three boys' wishes by taking their dicks into her cunt, mouth and ass. Most of the girls who weren't being fucked by men were either masturbating or eating each other out. And when they saw Nurse Knockers remove her tail from her ass and stick it in her mouth so that the student dressed as Riff Raff could buttfuck her, the gay boys grabbed plates of food and hurried out of the room to have a slightly more private orgy in their dorm.

Seth, the school's chess champion, walked up to Fuckable and asked politely and rather shyly if he could suck and fuck her beautiful boobs (he stuttered slightly over the last word, and she suspected he'd been about to say 'breasts'). She glanced at Anthony, who was still preoccupied with Melony's mountains, and replied, "Of course." She fondled the nineteen-year-old's cock while he sucked on her nipples as though starving and slipped a finger into her already wet cunt, following it with a second. She moved his thumb onto her clit, and a moment later her twat and thighs clenched around his hand as she came. "Thank you," she said, reaching for the lube bottle on the table with her free hand. "Do you want to keep going, or do you want to tittyfuck me now?"

"I'd like to give you another orgasm, if I can."

"I'd love that," she said sincerely. She looked at Anthony again, and saw that he was walking towards Wanda, one of the few attractive girls who he'd never invited into their bed. She was already being buttfucked by Matt, the boy who'd dressed as Rocky Horror, his gold shorts around his knees.

Matt looked less than delighted when he asked if he could cut in, and Wanda looked at his eight-inch cock and grimaced. "You're very big," she said, reluctantly. "Too big for me, I think. I'm sure there are plenty of other women here who'd love you to fuck their asses."

Anthony smiled thinly and muttered something under his breath, and Matt stepped back, his cock shrunk to the size of a jelly baby. Anthony spread the girl's cheeks and nodded. "It does look very tight," he said. "Would you like it to be more... accommodating?"

Wanda blinked, then grinned as widely as a jack-o-lantern. "Of course," she said. "But be gentle, please?"

"Of course," said Anthony. Fuckable knew that Anthony had an incredible degree of control over the size of his cock -- from fitting perfectly into her asshole, to growing so long that he could fuck her melon-sized boobs and have it come out between them to slide the head into her mouth. She expected he'd just shrink the girth so he could sodomize Wanda without hurting her, and was taken aback when he turned to one of the maids and said, "There's an inflatable vibrating butt plug in the nurse's office. Can you go and get it for me, please?"

The maid nodded, and hurried out of the room, and Anthony smiled at Matt. "If you haven't come yet, she loves ass to mouth," he said. The bodybuilder's cock instantly swelled back to a seven inch long erection, and Wants opened her mouth wide to admit it.

Fuckable, though distracted by Seth's sucking her nipple and fingering her cunt, felt mildly puzzled. Had the young woman's name always been Wanda Asstomouth? She had a vague memory that her surname had sounded vaguely Russian. Maybe she'd misheard it earlier. Or maybe there was a misprint on the roll. Judging by the enthusiasm Wanda showed for sucking Matt's cock, the name certainly fit...

The maid returned a moment later with the toy in his hand, and Anthony thanked him and turned his attention back to Wanda' ass. He squirted lube onto the tiny puckered hole, gently worked it in with a finger, and then eased the butt plug inside her. When her asshole contracted around the tapered section, Anthony handed her the controls. "Squeeze the bulb when you want it bigger," he said. "The one in your right hand controls the speed. Okay?"

"Mphf." She pressed the button to start the vibrator, and began coming almost instantly. She didn't neglect the cock in her mouth, however, and soon it was spurting come down her throat. Matt grabbed her shoulders, not ungently, until he'd stopped coming, then stepped back. The man who'd been fucking Mywish in the ass walked over and asked if she'd like to suck his cock, too.

"She'd love to," said Anthony. "She doesn't care who's ass it's been in. Do you, slut?"

"No," Wanda gasped. "Let me suck your cock, get it hard again."

Anthony grinned, and walked over to where the headmistress was 69ing with Rimsha. He kissed Ms Cumguzzler's ass, noticing that it hadn't been fucked all day, and began lubing up her hot little hole while she wiggled her butt at him enticingly. Fuckable, watching him, came yet again, then pulled Seth up towards her face so he could fuck her tits. Lucy, who'd been recovering her breath after fucking Ophelia with her strap-on, walked over and stuck the fake cock in Fuckable's wet cunt while the teacher enjoyed the feel of a real cock between her silky boobs. Ophelia crawled up behind Lucy and began rimming her while the orgy continued around them.

By the time Anthony came in Ms Cumguzzler's bowels, Wanda was sucking a fourth cock back to life and there were two behind it in the queue. Fuckable, scooping up cum from between her boobs and sucking it from her fingers while Lucy continued to fuck her, saw him walk back over to Wanda and ask, "How does your ass feel?"

Wanda, still greedily sucking a cock, gave him a thumbs-up as she squeezed the bulb yet again.

"Do you want me to take it out?"

Thumbs down.

"You want to wait until it's as big as it can get?"