Iteration

Spencer's life is crumbling around him. In a single weekend he loses his job, his girlfriend, and his apartment. The worst part is, he has no idea how any of it happened. Trying to get away from it all, he instead finds himself confronted with a horrific crime in progress. His intervention leads him to a visit from a strange being who offers him a mysterious gift which has the potential to solve all his problems.

This leads Spencer on an epic adventure through time as he tries to use this newfound power to live his best life and try to find love. Along the way he encounters the best and worst of humanity as he attempts to answer life's most important questions.

Author's Note: This is a novel which I've split into three easily consumable sections. For a bit of context, this novel was written in late 2020. All characters are over eighteen. Enjoy!

***

Chapter 1

"Hey, buddy! Wake up!"

Spencer Murphy struggled to open his eyes to identify the source of the gruff voice. He reached up to rub the sleep from his eyes. Upon finally looking around he saw he was in an unfamiliar featureless room. He took a deep breath and then immediately gagged at the smell that assaulted his nostrils.

He was laying on a bare mattress atop a metal cot. The only other things he saw in the room were a metal door with no handle and a small metal toilet with an attached sink.

He looked down at himself and was horrified to discover that he was the source of the smell. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a button-up shirt. Both items were prodigiously stained with what he suspected, based on the smell, was his own vomit. One thing he did

not

see what the source of the voice.

The mystery was solved moments later when the door opened to reveal a porty policeman with a spectacular mustache who bore a strong resemblance to Wilford Brimley. He said, "Time to go booze hound."

Spencer tried to respond but found that he had lost his voice, so he simply stood up and followed the corpulent officer out of the cell. He was led to a counter with a plexiglass shield protecting a rather attractive young lady. She slid a shoe box through a drawer to Spencer. He opened it and found his wallet, keys, phone, belt and shoes within. He was made to sign a clipboard and then the woman behind the divider retreated into the maze of shelves behind her.

Spencer turned to the guard and croaked, "Now what?"

"Now, you leave."

"I don't have to see a judge?"

The officer grinned and said, "Oh, I'm sure I can dig one up if you'd like to see one. Perhaps the early wake-up call would encourage them to put you back in your cell for a few more weeks."

Spencer quickly held his hands up in surrender.

The officer continued, "You'll get a citation in a few weeks, but you're only accused of public intoxication. The bar owner wanted you charged with drunk and disorderly, or even assault and battery. But you'd have had to land a punch to make that stick. Getting your ass kicked isn't illegal, just really ill-advised."

Spencer could only nod while thinking that the pain in his face now made a lot more sense. Moments later he found himself outside the police station wondering what to do. His phone battery was dead, which eliminated both calling his girlfriend and requesting a ride. He didn't remember seeing a pay phone in the police station so even calling a taxi seemed to be out of the question. Just as he resigned himself to start walking a taxi pulled up to the curb.

The driver rolled the front window down part way and said, "Hey buddy, you need a ride?" Spencer nodded dejectedly. The driver said, "You got any money?" which elicited another nod from Spencer. The driver stared at him while making no move to open the door. Spencer finally took his wallet out and showed the driver his credit card. The driver then finally unlocked the door. Spencer got in and gave the driver the address to his apartment. Moments after the driver set off, he rolled down all the windows while giving Spencer a look of disgust in the review mirror.

The trip took twenty minutes, and cost Spencer nearly fifty dollars. He felt grateful to finally enter his apartment. He headed straight for the shower, grateful that his girlfriend appeared to still be asleep. He emerged thirty minutes later feeling significantly better although he was still exhausted. He spent most of the shower trying to recall the previous evening, but he was still far too hung over.

He paused in the kitchen trying to decide between going back to sleep or having the first of what would likely be several cups of coffee. Before he could decide his girlfriend, Crystal, emerged from their bedroom.

She frowned at him and said, "Well, look who finally decided to come home."

"Hey, baby," he said weakly.

"Hey, baby? That's all you've got to say to me? Fuck, Spencer. You can be such a shithead sometimes."

"It's been kind of a shitty morning, Crystal. How 'bout you cut me a little slack?"

"No. Not after what you did last night. I'm through cutting you slack."

He said, "What are you talking about?"

"You're going to sit there and pretend you don't remember getting hammered last night and then walking away from me like I meant nothing to you just because your ex showed up at the bar?"

"I'm gonna be honest Crystal, I have no memory of that. I can't really remember anything about last night."

"Are you calling me a liar?" she practically shouted at him.

He held up his hands in surrender and said, "Of course not. I'm just saying I don't remember anything."

She said, "I'll prove it to you, if you don't believe me." She retreated to the bedroom and the returned with her phone. She spent a few moments searching before handing the phone to Spencer.

He hit play on the video. The scene which played out began with Spencer, dressed as he was when he woke up in jail that morning. He was standing at a table where his ex-wife and her boyfriend were seated. Spencer could see that his past self was clearly extremely inebriated, weaving so precariously he was having trouble standing. Last-night-Spencer appeared to be arguing with his ex. His ex's boyfriend finally stood up and began to pull Spencer away from the object of his attention. Not surprisingly this caused Spencer to stumble and fall. The video then showed Spencer attempt to kick his perceived assailant in the knee. In response, the offensively handsome boyfriend of Spencer's ex leaned down and slugged Spencer in the jaw, knocking the latter out instantly. The video ended seconds later.

Spencer looked up at his girlfriend apologetically. He said, "I'm so sorry, baby." He paused for a second as she regarded him with undisguised fury in her eyes. As the awkward silence grew, Spencer finally said, "What happened after the video ended?"

"I left. I assume they called the cops since you were out cold. How was jail?"

"It sucked. And I really am sorry. I can't imagine why I acted like that."

She said, "I know exactly why you acted like that, you pathetic piece of shit. It's because you still haven't gotten over your ex."

Spencer tried to interrupt but Crystal froze him with a glare which would have stopped calvary charge in its tracks.

She continued, "You still love her, God knows why with how she treats you. You tell me you love me but when you saw her yesterday you walked away from me without a word. I tried to stop you, but you shrugged me off like you'd ignore a panhandler."

Spencer made to reach out to her, but she took a step back. He said, "Of course I love you, Crystal. And I am over my wife, despite what happened last night when I clearly had too much to drink."

"In vino veritas, mother fucker. And she's not your goddamned wife, Spencer. She's your

ex-

wife. She left you, you dumb bastard. I don't know why you can't let her go, but I can't wait for you to put me first any longer."

Spencer's blood ran cold as he realized the type of conversation he was having. He said, "Don't do this, Crystal. I know I fucked up, and I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me last night. But I promise you, I'll stop drinking. I won't let this happen again. I love you, sweetheart. Don't let one mistake ruin what we're building here together."

She sighed loudly and said, "It's not one mistake, Spencer. It's just the last mistake. I'm sorry, but it's over. You can sleep here tonight, on the couch, but tomorrow I need you gone. I have to move on. I only wish you could do the same." With this she picked up her purse and walked out of the apartment.

Spencer sank down on the couch in the living room, too exhausted to really contemplate all that had happened. He knew he should feel a sense of loss but at the moment he couldn't feel anything. Within moments he was snoring loudly.

***

The next morning Spencer awoke to slightly more pleasant sensations than the day before. The couch was a marked improvement from the cot in jail, but it was still a far cry from being deemed comfortable. At least the smell was better as Crystal was obsessive about the space she inhabited and was always deploying a wide array of devices designed to emit pleasant fragrances.

The second thing Spencer noticed, apart from his immediate surroundings, was the intense light coming in the living room windows. He figured the difference was due to the fact that their, now her, bedroom was on the north side of the building. He casually wondered about the time and began fumbling around for his phone. He finally found it and instantly broke out in a cold sweat when he realized it was once again completely dead. He sprang up from the couch and hurried into the kitchen where he was horrified to discover that it was nearly noon.

He was over two hours late for a crucial meeting with a potential client. He quickly plugged his phone in and got himself dressed. As soon as his phone had enough charge to turn on, he heard a barrage of notifications. He looked at the screen and saw he had missed both texts and emails from his boss. Recognizing that procrastinating would only make things worse, he called his boss.

His boss answered, cutting right to the matter at hand, "Well, look who finally decided to sober up."

Spencer said, "I'm so sorry, Pedro. My power went out and my phone died. I can be on the way in five minutes and should be there within a half hour."

"Don't bother, Spencer. We lost the contract."

"Shit. Why don't I give their CIO a call? We had a pretty good conversation last time we spoke. I'm sure he'll understand this was just a one-time thing."

"I'm afraid that's impossible, Spencer. Between the SNAFU this morning and the fact that you got arrested on Sunday, you've forced our hand."

"What does that mean?" Spencer asked quietly, growing all too familiar with the sensation of breaking out in a cold sweat.

"It means we have to let you go."

Spencer said, a little too loudly, "You can't do that. I have an exemplary work history with you. You can't fire me for being late one morning."

His boss responded, "Don't forget about the negative PR you've brought on the company by getting arrested this weekend. We're prepared to pay you two week's severance based on your years of good work. That, plus your accrued PTO, give you nearly two months of pay to live off while you look for another gig. This is a shitty situation for all of us Spencer. Take responsibility for your actions and accept the consequences."

Spencer signaled his acquiescence by saying, "What about my stuff?"

"You can keep the computer. You've had it for long enough that we've depreciated it down to zero at this point. We'll box up anything in your desk and ship it to you. I hate that it came down to this, Spencer."

Spencer's boss hung up without another word. Spencer almost sank into the couch again but realized how poorly that had gone the day before.

He spent the next hour numbly collecting his things and packing them into his car. He thought to himself, not without a degree of bitterness, that the only thing which hadn't gone wrong in the past few days was the fact that Crystal had apparently driven on their ill-fated trip to their local watering hole. This left Spencer's car parked outside the apartment, so he was able to pack his things.

The apartment had been Crystal's before they decided to move in together, and she was still the only one whose name was on the lease. This left little doubt as to her ability to kick him out. It also meant that he had very few belongings outside of his clothes and electronics. He was able to pack all his worldly possessions into his car by mid-afternoon. After doing a final check around the apartment, he left his key sitting on the dining room table and walked out the door for the final time.

Once he was sitting in his car, he realized he had no destination in mind. He was horrified to realize he had little choice in his destination. He had few friends who were not also Crystal's friends, and he knew all of those would side with her. He finally decided to reach out to his oldest friend, Molly. He knew she had just gotten into a new relationship, her first since her boyfriend had lost his battle to Covid. This likely meant she would be unable to provide a place to crash, but at this point Spencer was desperate to see a friendly face.

***

"I gotta be honest with you Spence, I can't say I blame her. What were you thinking?"

"I wish I knew."

Spencer stared sullenly at his soda while trying to avoid the glare of his best friend. He had known Molly since his freshman year in college. The two had hit it off from the start and their friendship had grown even deeper when Molly began dating Spencer's best friend, Malcolm. Spencer and Molly had stayed in touch through the years but had started hanging out more frequently when Malcolm had been diagnosed with cancer. Spencer had tried to be there for both of them but that didn't stop Malcolm from losing his battle with cancer in 2016. Since his best friend's passing, Molly had grown more distant, and Spencer had struggled to find a way to help her. At this point he was thankful they could still hang out at all, although these days they were lucky if they saw each other once a month. But the ebbs and flows of their friendship had never stopped Molly from taking Spencer to task when he fucked up.

Molly said, "You're telling me you got so blackout drunk that you have no memory of what happened, but somehow you retained enough of your faculties to walk across a bar and try to hit on your ex-wife in front of your long-term, live-in girlfriend? Not to mention that Nicole's new boyfriend was

also

there. How does your brain not have some kind of emergency override in that situation? You've never been that sloppy of a drunk before."

Spencer remained mute, wishing he knew the answers to Molly's questions. At length, Molly seemed to take pity on her friend and change her line of questioning.

"So, now what? Normally I'd say you could crash at my place, but I just started dating someone and I doubt he'd understand."

Spencer sighed and said, "I guess I'll head to my folks place, assuming they'll have me."

Molly reached out and firmly smacked Spencer in the side of the head.

He said, "Hey!"

"No one likes a mope-er. You fucked up. Take ownership of it and move on. You might even learn something in the process, if you're lucky. Of course your parents will welcome you. And if the rent they charge is giving you a ration of shit for your poor choices, I suggest you consider taking their advice. You're a great guy Spence, but you've been heading in the wrong direction for a while now. Maybe these past few days are exactly what you need to provide some motivation."

"I guess you're right," Spencer said while trying desperately to not appear quite so pathetic.

Molly began to collect her things, saying, "I gotta run, buddy. I know its shitty, but I promised my new fella I'd meet him for drinks after his big presentation today." She stood up and put her coat on before bending over to kiss Spencer's cheek. "Take care of yourself, Spencer. Gimme a call and we'll get together again real soon."

As Spencer watched her go, he thought back to all the times in his life he'd watched her walk away wistfully. It began more than a decade previous when they were both in college. He had met her as part of a group that traveled to all the road football games. They had done everything together for one delightful month. In hindsight, it was clear to Spencer that Molly was doing everything short of grabbing his crotch to let him know she was both available and interested. Tragically, Spencer had been blind to the barrage of signs she was sending and eventually Molly had looked elsewhere for companionship. Spencer frequently wallowed in this train of thought after seeing Molly. This time, however, he knew that would help nothing. On the contrary, it seemed one of the few things which could possibly make him feel worse.

He paid for his dinner, got in his car and headed for his parents' house a few hours away.

Chapter 2

The next afternoon found Spencer speeding away from his parent's house. He could take no more of the alternating hells of his father's lectures and his mother's passive aggressive guilt trips. It had started before he even arrived, when he reluctantly phoned from his vehicle. His father was having difficulty deciding which of Spencer's mistakes upset him most. Currently losing his job was leading losing his girlfriend by a comfortable margin but it was still anyone's game. Not so with Spencer's mother, who had found a baker's dozen different methods of letting him know that she was officially giving up on living long enough to meet her grandchildren.

Spencer had tried to avoid them, spending most of his time in what was now called the guest room. His morning had been spent contacting former colleagues in the hope of quickly rectifying his employment problem. Each call had ended in failure, either because the person in question knew of no openings or because the word was out on his recent behavior. He had also tried to phone Crystal to see if she had softened her position now that a few days had passed. After his fifth try went directly to voicemail he realized that she had blocked his number.

The final straw with his parents had been when he and his father nearly got into a shouting match over lunch. His father decided to add giving Spencer shit about his weight to the plethora of other things about which he was giving him shit. Spencer had refused to engage, which only enraged his father further. His mother had intervened before his father truly started shouting. While they were distracted with each other, Spencer had silently stolen away. He received several calls from his parents' number, prompting him to turn his phone off. He headed for the mountains, hoping to avoid the entirety of humanity for a while.

Several hours later Spencer found himself deep in the Cascade Mountains. He had always found peace in the endless vistas stretching out before him. The almost complete lack of his fellow humans also helped him find peace. As Spencer progressed along the winding mountain road toward the pass above, he happened to glance in his review mirror and spot a sports car speeding up behind him. Spencer quickly slowed and pulled off the road to let the apprising racer, at least in their own mind, pass. While Spencer had no love for dangerous driving, he recognized that these roads brought a different kind of peace to countless suburbanites who could find no other means to feel alive besides driving at the limit of their vehicle's ability where no cops were likely to bother them.