Inhumans Pt. 03
I groaned as I walked through the facility. It had been days since I killed my brother, and I had yet to sleep more than a grand total of three hours. I hated not sleeping. It made me irritable and hungry. At the moment, it was only about three in the morning, and I hadn't slept at all that night.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" Crystal asked from behind me, startling me and making me spin.
I sighed, shaking my eyes. "I can't. I have periods of Insomnia sometimes. I have had, ever since..." I caught myself and sighed. "Anyway, what about you?"
"My body woke me up for a midnight snack, but I know it won't help me be less hungry, so I decided to go for a walk instead," she said, looking around. "I think I'm getting used to telling what's where. We're near the garage, right?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "It's just around the corner up ahead."
"Were you going somewhere?" Crystal asked, frowning in an almost accusatory way.
I grimaced. She could still read me like a book, it seemed.
"I was going to go for a drive," I admitted, deciding on a partial truth. "Something to try and clear my head."
Crystal frowned. "You lie to everyone, or just me?"
I blinked in surprise.
"Look, I wasn't going to say anything, because I figured it wasn't my place, but I can't stay quiet anymore," Crystal said. "I don't know why no one else has ever said it, but you need to know. What happened to the Slime before me, it wasn't your fault. From everything I've heard, she was in love with you. Even if the Succubus
was
trying to hurt you, I think the Slime would have gladly used herself as bait anyway, because it would mean you were safe. Would she really want you to blame yourself? Would she really want you to suffer like that?"
I stared at the floor in silence for a long while. "I don't know. I...I don't really think I know what she would want anymore."
"Well, if it was me, I'd want you to forgive yourself," Crystal said. "I'd want you to try to move on. To find happiness somehow, and live as good a life as you could. If it was me, the last thing I would want is for the man I love to turn me into an anchor to hold him back."
I grit my teeth, feeling my eyes burn slightly. I couldn't do this. I couldn't take it. I felt like every word I said to her was a lie. Crystal noticed how close to tears I was and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around me and tucking her face into the side of my neck.
"It's okay to be sad," Crystal said. "And it's okay to miss the people you've lost, but you can't let them hold you back. Our lost loved ones would never want to become a burden on us."
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly as I broke, beginning to cry into her shoulder. She stood there, holding me through my moment of weakness for what seemed like hours before guiding me through the facility to my room. She pushed me down onto the bed gently, then lay beside me, head on my shoulder.
"Am I safe to sleep here tonight?" Crystal asked.
"You'll always be safe around me," I said. "I would never hurt you."
Crystal smiled up at me for a moment before tucking her head under my chin. "Good, because the reason you can't sleep is that you feel alone. This way you'll be able to rest."
We lay in silence for a few minutes before she breaks it again.
"I'm sorry," Crystal said.
"For what?" I asked.
"For all the times I called you a monster, or insulted you by saying the way you have to feed is wrong," Crystal elaborated. "I never meant to offend you, but I could see that I did every time. I'm sorry I didn't apologize sooner. And I'm sorry about your brother."
I swallowed hard, but despite my best efforts, tears began to fall again. She was the first to say that to me. She was the only one to say that to me. And it was at that moment, when someone, who had every cause to not care, showed sympathy, that I realized how much I was hurting. It was then that I realized how broken I really was over killing my brother, no matter what he had been or had wanted to do. I shattered instantly, curling into her as I sobbed. She didn't say anything. She simply held me, allowing me to grieve for one of the worst people I'd ever known who I loved despite his many, many faults, and whom I'd doomed to an eternity trapped in Hell's dungeons. Because that was the fate of a Tentacle Demon who died on Earth. If they died in Hell, they were gone. But if they died on Earth, their souls would be locked inside of a tiny cell for all eternity, eternally subjected to torture, unless they died. And suicide was impossible. A mercy killing would be the only way to escape the endless torture he'd now have to suffer.
And then, before I even realized what had happened, I'd cried myself to sleep.
LINE BREAK
I smiled as I stared out at the field before me. It was beautiful here. Lush, soft green grass, a gentle breeze, hundreds of flowers of varying colors. It was almost perfect. And yet, I couldn't enjoy it. How could I? I was a freak. A monster. Even among the rest of the team, I was the worst. How could I have ever deluded myself into believing otherwise? Into believing I could ever be worthy of her? That I could make her happy despite what my kind had done to hers?