Inferno 7001

2. THE RUINS OF THE SHRIEKING DEAD

When they at last drew near the ruins on the horizon Greg was feeling pretty tired, and his obsidian sword was dragging against the rocks. Dalile still loped tirelessly, swinging her thorned sword and smiling. As they approached the ruins -- blackened husks of stone raising dead fingers towards the blood-red sky -- she slowed and raised a finger to her lips.

"Quiet now," she said. "Restless horrors inhabit the Ruins of the Shrieking Dead. If we are incautious, we will surely be devoured."

"Righty-ho," whispered Greg.

They crept through the ruins. Greg kept an eye open, but all he saw was crumbling stone.

"Seems pretty much okay," he said.

"ALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!" shrieked a voice.

"AAAAAAGH!" shrieked Greg, falling backward. Dalile raised her weapon and assumed a thrusting stance.

"ALALALALALALALA!" came the shriek again, and a man bounded into view. He was tall and enormously muscled, clad in a leather tunic and breeches, wearing a horned helmet and holding an axe that probably weighed more than Greg, Greg figured, if he had to guess, but he preferred not to. The muscled man relaxed when he saw the two of them. "Thank the Gods of Nordholm," he said, "human beings!"

"Who in Kullgar's name are you?" Dalile demanded.

The man pounded his chest with one shovel-sized fist. "I am Ragak, beastslayer of Nordholm and descendant of Thorok," he said proudly. "Who stands before me?"

Greg hastily stood. "Name's Greg," he said.

"Dalile, Warrior-Maiden of the Kullites," said Dalile haughtily. "Ragak, I fear your lack of caution has roused the horrors that lurk in this ruins."

"Good," said Ragak, grinning fiercely. "To slay and kill are my sole pleasures in life. That, and the love of a beautiful woman. And fine food and drink. And to fight and kill! These are my sole pleasures in life!"

A gigantic spider-man bit his leg off.

"FOR THOROOOOK!" Ragak bellowed, swinging his axe as he fell. The spider-man was split into a pile of thrashing legs and spurting green blood.

"Sweet Jesus," said Greg.

From the darkness of the ruins, long and hairy legs unfolded.

Greg stared at the spider-men. Each looked like a man supported by eight long and many-jointed legs; where the spider's head would have been hung the shriveled shape of a human, its flesh putrid with rot, its legs and arms but rudimentary stalks. Each mouth hung open, distended to an awful size, and filled with slender fangs. In each face burned six luminescent green eyes.

There were dozens of them.

"Prepare for battle, warrior of Earth-Land," said Dalile.

"Right," said Greg. "Good idea. Um, FOR PRINCESS KITRA!"

His sword sprang into his hand.

The next minute or two passed in a blur. The spider-men descended, flailing their legs, snapping their gruesome teeth (from which awful venom dripped). But the obsidian blade led Greg in a swift dance of death. Through the grasping legs and dripping jaws he moved, graceful and untouchable as water, his blade carving and slashing. The spider-men split and burst like balloons, spraying black guts and green blood across the ruins. Dalile stayed near him, hacking with her thorned blade, while Ragak lay on the ground, spitting madly and slashing at any spider-men that came near with his huge axe. It was all over before Greg knew what was happening.

"Phew," he said.

"Well fought, friends!" roared Ragak.

Greg realized that Dalile was regarding him with admiration. He puffed out his chest a bit.

"Yeah," he said, "I practice a lot, you know."

"Ragak, is that you?" someone yelled.

Dalile rolled her eyes. "Does nobody understand how to keep quiet?"

From within the ruins a woman emerged. Tall and striking she was, with flaming red hair and bright green eyes. She wore a short tunic of black leather, tight black breeches, and heeled boots that reached her knees. In one hand she held a slender white branch with a stone set in the end.

"Ah, Ragak," she said. "I see you've sustained another injury. And who are these? New allies?"

"Natalia," said Ragak, grinning. "I thought you'd lost me, witch-woman. These brave warriors helped me slay the spider-men that haunt these ruins: Dalile of the Kullites, and, uh, Greg, they are called. Friends, this is my ally and consort, Natalia, Lifewitch of the Sunwater Valley."

"Let's see that leg," said Natalia.

"Most of it's in a spider-man's jaw," said Ragak. "I slew the foul creature, however, worry not."

Natalia touched Ragak's gory stump with her wand. "Sun-Kalla Gal Thor," she pronounced. There was a horrible squelching sound, and a new leg grew out of the wound like an expanding balloon.

"Holy shit," said Greg, "that was incredible."

Natalia shrugged. "Simple magic of the Lifewitches," she said. "The gods of the Sunwater grant awesome power, to those who can wield it. But enough of that. What are your Quests, friends?"

"Well," said Greg, "I guess I'm trying to rescue a Princess from some guy called Zagazoog or some shit, and also I'd like to get back home to Earth-Land, possibly. You?"

Natalia's countenance darkened. "I also seek Zagrazel, the Duke of Filth," she said, "as vengeance for the massacre on the Sunwater."

"And I also, to rescue my close companion, the witch Gwendla," said Dalile.

"And I, to rend his flesh and eat his heart," said Ragak. "For no particular reason."

"Wow," said Greg. "This is crazy, guys. Hey, what if we all go together? You guys know the way?"

"The portal to his dark court lies near," said Natalia. "I was seeking its awful radiance when I realized that Ragak and I had been parted. Come, follow me, friends and allies. Soon the Duke will know our wrath."

*

The awful portal stood in the centre of a ruined tower, its walls gaped open to the sky. The portal itself was an arch of stones, black as pitch and emanating a palpable aura of darkness.

"We have to go through that?" said Greg nervously.

"Eventually," said Natalia. "First we must find some way to engage it."

"Careful," advised Dalile. "It is likely to be entrapped."

"Without a doubt," said Natalia. She approached the portal and, standing on tiptoe, placed one gloved hand at the apex of the arch. The capstone suddenly glowed with eldritch runes. Natalia took a step back. There was a flash. Now a thin film of mist hung in the centre of the arch.

"There," said Natalia. "I know not whence this portal will lead, friends, other than that it is certain to take us to the court of the foul Duke. Stay close, and beware."

"Follow me!" Ragak bellowed, and charged into the mist. There was a pop, and he vanished.

Natalia waited silently for a moment.

"Once," she said, "I saw a man charge into a portal such as this. A moment later his guts and bones were expelled -- his skin, a moment later."

"Oh," said Greg.

They waited for another moment.

"Well, let us try it," said Natalia, stepping into the mist. Dalile gritted her teeth, raised her sword, and followed.

"Oh man," said Greg. "I sure hope I don't get pulped. I really hope I don't get pulped. Goddammit, Greg, this is fucking awesome, but also kinda scary."

He stepped into the mist.

He stepped out into a dark corridor walled in grey stone and encrusted with lichen. The only light was what emanated from small luminous flowers, set into cracks in the walls.

"Helloooo?" Greg called.

His voice echoed down the corridor. There was no answer. He was alone.

He turned around. The corridor stretched off into the unseen distance. There was no sign of a portal.

"Oh man," he said, "I don't like this at all."

A voice suddenly boomed out from the darkness.

"WORM," it roared. "I AM THE DUKE OF FILTH. PROVE THYSELF AGAINST THE WALKER OF THE DARK, AND I WILL GRANT YOU ENTRANCE TO MY COURT. FAIL -- AND WRITHE ETERNALLY IN THE DUNGEONS OF THE FLAYING WORMS."

"Whoa now," said Greg. "Who's the Walker of the Dark? What's a Flaying Worm? Where the fuck am I?"

The only answer was a low moan, which echoed horribly down the dark corridor.

"Oh man," said Greg. "Oh man oh man."