"GET DOWN!"
Normally, being tackled by Jean Biggers was always something to enjoy. She was soft, squishy, had just enough muscle definition, and tended to find a way to get all of her most precious non-brain assets directly into Aiden's face. It was
less
fun when the tackling was followed by everyone else in the slit trench flinging themselves flat around them and a light like pale death shining over the lip, followed by a roar, followed by the whole world shaking itself to pieces around them.
Dust, dirt, and debris went flying by and Aiden managed to wriggle and get himself between Jean and the hissing shards of rock whipping by overhead. The pale light that shone through the trench made his bones glow and the buttons on his shirt shimmer like cut gemstones. Then, bit by bit, it faded, leaving nothing but the scent of charred earth and upturned soil and hissing, sparking ozone. Jean blushed as she looked up at Aiden through her cocked glasses. He had, through the mystical properties of this silly ass pocket universe, ended up with her arms pinned above her head by his palms, and the three highest buttons on her tight, tight,
tight
t-shirt coming undone. Her tits threatened to spill into the open air with every panting breath.
Aiden lifted his head to see that Dalann, Evening Glitter, Luz and Thirsha were all beginning to sit up. Thirsha winced as she flapped one wing to make sure it still worked, while Dalann pushed Luz up, who coughed.
"Crikey!" Luz said as debris continued to lightly patter down around the trench. She coughed in the dusty air, then coughed again, before wheezing: "I guess it didn't work?"
The six of them stick their heads up above the slit trench.
Kyute was sitting on a small rock, her eyes covered by sunglasses, looking at the slowly rising mushroom cloud. "I dunno," she said, grinning as she flipped her sunglasses off, turning around to reveal that her nearly naked body was now tanned a glossy brown. "I got a bitchen tan."
"What did we say about you!" Luz pointed her finger at the lust fairie.
"That I'm not allowed back in the plot anymore?" Kyute asked.
"Yes!" Luz exclaimed.
"But I'm too cute!" Kyute fluttered her eyelashes, while Jean hastily rebuttoned her top, then scrambled out of the slit trench in such a way that her rump almost smashed Aiden back into the muck.
"Come on!" she said, jogging towards the mushroom cloud, already holding a scanning instrument. "We have to get the data!"
"You know radiation exists, right?" Kyute called after her, while Thirsha sighed and sprang out of the slit trench, before reaching back and using one of her long arms to tug Luz and Dalann out. Evening Glitter was still picking bits of debris out of her hair.
"It was a
clean
reaction!" Jean's increasingly distant voice shouted over her shoulder. "Parametric, not radiological!"
"Oooh, well, of course," Kyute muttered, sliding her sunglasses down.
Aiden pushed Eve out of the trench, scrambled out with her, and then started to jog after Jean. The center of the experiment - a solid fifty miles away from Dimension City - looked completely transformed from what it had been before Jean had pushed the big red button. Gone was the boxy tower that thrust from the ground. Gone were the lead lines running from the loadstones and into the tower. Gone was everything, actually, save for a few wispy strands of trees that had survived the explosion without being flattened.
In their place was a single huge crater, smoking faintly and creaking with the sound of earth settling. Aiden waved his hand under his nose, frowning as Jean slid down the incline of the crater, laughing excitedly. She vanished into the smoke as Luz came to his side. "Jean!" she shouted. "Don't get burned up!"
Jean emerged from the smoke, her left hand clad in a heavy metal gauntlet that had apparently come from absolutely nowhere. She waved her arm above her head, bouncing excitedly. This bouncing immediately and completely distracted Luz, who gaped at her as Jean skipped up the incline - awkwardly, but she did manage it. The dirt scuffed away under her feet as she came up to the edge of the crater, then held out what was in her palm - literally at the exact second a hovercycle screamed out of the sky and Jeanette hopped off of it.
"You said it wouldn't go boom!" she said, accusatory.
"I said it
shouldn't
go boom," Jean corrected her quasi-sister.
"IT WENT BOOM!" Jeanette flung her arms wide. "That was NUCLEAR!"
"Pseudo-nuclear," Jean said.
"Still nuclear!" Jeannette scowled.
"Jeanette, wait," Aiden said, then waved the smoke that drifted around Jean's palm - revealing that Jean was holding a small chunk of slightly charred, silvery white metal the size of a small baby's skull. "...is that..."
"It sure is!" Jean said, beaming brightly. "Exactly 3.4 kilograms of pure lithium! With the only byproduct being a fifteen kiloton pseudo-nuclear explosion and the destruction of the entire lab! On the whole, a stunning success for nucleaosynthesis!"
"Yusss!" Luz pumped both of her fists.
"What a what a what? You're doing what now?" Jeanette asked.
"It's simple!" Eve said. "If we're going to head to the real world-"
"Wait,
that's
the plan!?" Jeanette asked.
"Weren't you paying attention during the debate?" Jean asked, scowling at her half-sister.
Aiden coughed. "Well, uh..." He coughed again. "She was...um...giving me a blowjob."
"Heh..." Jeanette smiled, happily.
"I tried to stop her," Aiden said, weakly.
"I didn't," Luz said, grinning and wiggling her eyebrows. She held her hand out, down low, which Jeanette slapped.
"Okay, fine, we'll just explain the
whole
plan again," Jean said, scowling at her half-sister.
"The audience thanks you," Kyute said, peeking over Jean's shoulder, giggling quietly as she whispered in Jean's ear. "Can you include some T&A in the summery? You know, to help with viewer retention."
"No!" Jean put her hands over her buttons, slapping the lust fairie's fingers away from them. She glared at Jeanette. "The basic idea is this: If this pocket universe is meant to contain the Chathurian, but the Chathruian is just Aiden, and Aiden is..." She paused. "A..."
"Sexy tentacle monster," Kyute said. "Great lay. Outstanding cunnilingus mastah. Rocking cock!"
"...cool dude!" Jean said, nodding as Kyute managed to sneakily undo one of her lower buttons, revealing just a bit of her tummy and her muscles and her tummymuscles. "So, there's no reason to stay here."
"Beyond the superpowers and immortality and great sex-" Kyute said.
"None of that matters," Aiden said, cutting her off. "There are literally billions of people that are living on Earth-Prime that don't even have enough water to drink or food to eat. And anything we do here is
fake
. Every scientific invention or magical spell, they're all just...holodeck fantasies." He shook his head. "But we have a collection of super-geniuses and profoundly motivated individuals, each of them shaped by their fictive origins into being the
exact
kind of people that the Earth desperately needs right now."
"The Earth needs me?" Kyute asked, her wings fluttering so she could float above Jean, cocking her head curiously.
"Twitch can always use another E-girl!" Luz said, cheerfully.