Chapter 4
I felt a mix of joy and disappointment. I'm happy to see my best friend, but in a way, I already miss seeing Marcee. Either way, I replied with a "sure! omw".
I headed out and my Mom caught me asking me, "Are you going out again Jason?"
"Yeah mom, I'm going to go hang out with Mark." I noticed Jayla gave me a smirk almost giggling and then looked away. I dismissed it giving her a strange look and headed out driving over to my best friend's house like I've done thousands of times.
I headed up the front steps, again, like I've done for years, but it suddenly felt different. I thought of Marcee opening that door and my body reacted to the thought. I thought about what she looked like the last time I picked her up and I paused before knocking. Mark answered eating Doritos and wearing some simple cotton shorts and an old t-shirt smelling like he just showered.
"What's up bone head?" he said barely looking at me and walking back inside. I followed and closed the door behind me feeling the old feelings of hanging out with my best friend come back to me.
"Hey there." I said plainly as he flopped down on the couch into his groove and unpaused some action movie just as a clichΓ© explosion happened flinging the hero forward to the ground. It was a movie we both watched a dozen times, so I sat down and took a beer off the table cracking it open.
Something felt off. I couldn't help but wonder what he felt. What was he thinking? Just hours ago, we were fucking on this very couch and Marcee screamed as we both came so hard. But now, we're sitting here watching a movie like none of it happened.
We sat for a while in some awkward silence and then he just turned to me and said almost angrily, "Is this going to be weird?!?"
My head spun and I realized it had been more than 20 minutes and I didn't say much, ask for food or, or make fun of him which was highly unusual. I started to say something when he interrupted me.
"Look... I know... it is weird. Maybe it was bad for you and Marcee to get together. I don't want it to ruin our relationship. You're like my brother."
He seemed upset. He wasn't crying but I could hear it in his voice. He was scared but I also noticed he referred to Marcee as a separate person.
"Well... you're right. It is weird. I have no idea how you feel about this stuff. I mean, how do you feel about me right now? The same as Marcee does, or the same way you've felt for our friendship? This IS confusing to me. I feel like there are two different people in two different bodies but it's really all you."
He paused for a minute and set down his bag of Doritos. He leaned forward running his hands over his head and through is hair before looking back up at me.
"Well, I can tell you for sure... you aren't sexy... sorry bro."
I smiled and the room seemed to decompress hearing him crack a joke.
"I don't know." He said staring off into space. "It's strange. I do feel like a different person. I mean it's still me. I still remember who I am. I can still do what I can do now with an exception of being a lot smaller and not as strong."
I stared taking it all in. A part of me was fascinated.
"But then while I am who I am, I FEEL so different as Marcee. I mean I notice things I never notice as a guy. I notice people more. I notice people's emotions more. I feel differently around other guys. And yeah, as Marcee, I do find guys kinda hot. But that goes away when I change back. It feels a really jarring and when I change back, it's almost like a werewolf turning back into myself. I remember what I did but I feel disconnected from it like watching someone else do it all. I feel that 'Marcee' did that... not me."
After a long pause.
"Does any of this make sense?"
I waited and slowly responded, "Yeah?... Kinda?" contorting my face to show my confusion.
"Well, I think there is only one thing left to do then to make it clearer."
"What is that?" I quickly responded.
"YOU need to do it" he said with a deadly serious look in his face.
I couldn't respond and I had thought about it since she gave me the pill. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small baggie holding the pill.
"I don't know. I mean, I'll admit, I'm kinda curious how it feels but... "
"You're scared? Scared it'll hurt. Scared it'll change you. Scared you may not change back? I know. I felt the same way."
"Then what made you want to try it?"
Shrugging he responded, "Not entirely sure. I mean girls are hot. For years I wondered what it was like. How did they feel being a girl? I'll even admit it was kind of a turn on to think I could be one, even for a little while. Eventually when these things came out, I figured it was a chance to try it."
We sat in silence for seconds but felt like hours. I felt my heart beating out of my chest. I felt short of breath. A part of me wanted to try it but Mark was right. I was scared. But then I thought, if he did it and turned out okay, I knew I would be okay too.
"Ok, I'll try it." I told him holding the pill tightly.
He smiled.
"Great! Want to now? We have plenty of time. I have some things that'll help you."
I opened the baggie and poured the pill out into my palm. I felt amazed that such a small thing can change me so drastically.