More than a week later, I was still reeling from my Saturday afternoon visit from John. I still couldn't believe this was happening to me. There were moments I thought that I was crazy, that I was hallucinating all of this. That I had truly lost my mind. But I can honestly say I truly felt him there. I had -as of Saturday - felt his body more than I had ever before. Why had he come back? And why now? It was complex and complicated thoughts. But it appeared he was there to let me be who I needed to be.
Throughout all of my thoughts and the last few months of my marriage, it seemed to me that when I was horny or feeling lonely, the desires of men were abundant. It was almost as if the gaps in time when I needed sex (from the lack thereof) were filled with raging desires of hard cock. I don't know why they came. I couldn't even tell you because the last time I had sex "with a man" was John decades ago. But they were back in full force. However, once I had gotten off, my thoughts returned to normal. At least, that's how it used to be. But, now that John was back in my life, the thoughts became even more overwhelming. As if a door had been opened again, I accepted the offer and walked through it, and I was okay with that.
In my last story, I openly admitted I believed I knew why John had returned. It was to make me realize who I was inside. Like it or not, generational beliefs or not, family or friend's approval or not, I was bisexual, and I liked men. The only problem is that I had never dated a man. In essence, one could argue that I never had sex with a man. I could conceivably argue that I had, multiple times. Albeit, it was a ghostly encounter with someone I couldn't see or touch. However, it still makes it a valid argument. I still know I sucked dick and had my dick sucked.
Over the past week and a half since John last appeared, I had done a lot of soul-searching. When the wife wasn't around, I looked up gay porn or pictures of men's dicks to see if they aroused me as much as the time with him did. On certain days, that answer was yes. Other days, not so much. But at least I was accepting that I was interested in men, and I was making an effort to see if it made me feel the same way he did.
I had to be sure this lifestyle change was what I wanted. There was no way I was going to approach the wife and suddenly introduce the idea of, "Hey honey, want to have a threesome with another man so I could suck his dick." Or even worse, ask for a divorce and realize it's not where I wanted to be. She would have thrown me out of the house faster than I could imagine. But the desires were there. I just had to figure out where life or John was taking me.
Deep in my heart, I felt the change coming. I had always adored women and loved having sex with them, but since reconnecting with John and having two sexual experiences in my own house, I felt I knew. It was time for something different. And it was a late Thursday night when John summoned me again. My feelings were confirmed.
The wife and I were lying in bed after another dragging night of little conversation, no emotional attachment, and surely no sex. As our usual routine unfolded that night, she was reading through her magazines, while I thumbed through news articles, trying to keep up with current events in case I needed to publish one. As time passed, I became heatedly involved in an article, and by the time I had finished, I noticed she was already long asleep. I turned off the light on my nightstand, set my glasses down, and pulled the covers up to my neck, settling into a relaxed position as a cool breeze drifted over me. Knowing what that breeze was and also knowing my wife could sleep through a tornado, I whispered, "John, is that you?"
I got no response. I'm not sure if I genuinely expected one. I just felt as if he was in the room with us. Suddenly I got very hot. My heart started pounding, and I felt sticky and wet as if I needed to take a shower. Perhaps in his otherworldly way, John was guiding me away from my wife and into a place where we could be alone. Something in the way it progressed, along with my own thoughts, was guiding me to the bathroom.
I got up, walked into the bathroom, shut the door, and locked it behind me. I turned on the shower, slipped out of my pajamas, and stepped in. The warm cascading water was soothing and brought me to a place of comfort and ease. But suddenly, I felt his presence there.
"John, we have to be quiet. My wife is in the other room," I spoke out softly as I was letting the water strike my head and run down the back of my neck.
I felt that cool breeze loft inside that warm shower, and I knew I wasn't alone. I felt his body press up against my back. Almost as if he was embracing me from behind. I could feel his hands sliding along the sides of my rib cage. Up across my torso, past my nipples, down along my stomach, and towards my hips. The more his hands glided across my dripping wet skin, the more aroused I became. I felt myself getting hard. I felt a tingling inside that I hadn't experienced in a long time. Strikingly, I also felt something I had never felt before. My asshole was pulsing, almost throbbing, like a wet pussy would just before it penetrated.
I felt John's hand wrap around my hardening dick. He was lightly stroking it as his other hand continued rubbing all over me. "Oh, John." I softly moaned out as I became fully erect in his hand. Even though I was soaking wet from the shower, when his fingers slid up and in between my ass cheeks, they felt so slippery and slick, like he was lubing up my dry skin. John pulled my hips backwards as he guided my torso down. I could feel his spirit edging in closer behind me as the tip of his hard dick touched my asshole.
With one good long push, his dick slid inside me perfectly. No pain, no pressure. It just glided up inside me as if it had always been meant to be there. I moaned out like a girl as he pushed it all the way in. The pleasure I felt was beyond enjoyable, and as much as I have always been in love with women. There was nothing else I wanted more at that second than to be bent over with a dick in my ass. I felt John's big dick slide in and out of me, gently and lovingly at first. But the more it went on, the harder and faster he pumped.
I couldn't tell you how big his dick is because I had never seen it. But if I were a betting man, I would guess it was 7 inches long and more than an inch thick. It had no doubt it was bigger than mine, and the more it slid in and out of my ass, the more I began to realize that I was enjoying it more than I could have ever imagined.
Thoughts ran through my head that I would never have envisioned. It wanted him to cum in me. I wanted him to cum in my mouth. I wanted to be inside of him. I wanted him to be alive and real. I wanted to feel this way all the time. I wanted to be seduced often, sucked and fucked until I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted dick. His dick. Any dick as long as I was getting cock. The more he pumped, the more I moaned and groaned while the water from the shower head splashed off my back, the more I truly started to believe I liked dick more than pussy. I couldn't get enough. I was rock hard. When John would stroke me while pumping me, he sent sensations throughout my body that I had never felt before.
After all this time apart, after all the years of marriage, kids, work, and dealing with life's ins and outs, only to realize now that I wanted dick was incredibly concerning. But the deeper and deeper he pumped me while being bent over in my shower, while my loveless, cunt wife snored in our bed, was enough evidence for me to realize it was time for a dramatic change.
