More than a week later, I was still reeling from my Saturday afternoon visit from John. I still couldn't believe this was happening to me. There were moments I thought that I was crazy, that I was hallucinating all of this. That I had truly lost my mind. But I can honestly say I truly felt him there. I had -as of Saturday - felt his body more than I had ever before. Why had he come back? And why now? It was complex and complicated thoughts. But it appeared he was there to let me be who I needed to be.
Throughout all of my thoughts and the last few months of my marriage, it seemed to me that when I was horny or feeling lonely, the desires of men were abundant. It was almost as if the gaps in time when I needed sex (from the lack thereof) were filled with raging desires of hard cock. I don't know why they came. I couldn't even tell you because the last time I had sex "with a man" was John decades ago. But they were back in full force. However, once I had gotten off, my thoughts returned to normal. At least, that's how it used to be. But, now that John was back in my life, the thoughts became even more overwhelming. As if a door had been opened again, I accepted the offer and walked through it, and I was okay with that.
In my last story, I openly admitted I believed I knew why John had returned. It was to make me realize who I was inside. Like it or not, generational beliefs or not, family or friend's approval or not, I was bisexual, and I liked men. The only problem is that I had never dated a man. In essence, one could argue that I never had sex with a man. I could conceivably argue that I had, multiple times. Albeit, it was a ghostly encounter with someone I couldn't see or touch. However, it still makes it a valid argument. I still know I sucked dick and had my dick sucked.
Over the past week and a half since John last appeared, I had done a lot of soul-searching. When the wife wasn't around, I looked up gay porn or pictures of men's dicks to see if they aroused me as much as the time with him did. On certain days, that answer was yes. Other days, not so much. But at least I was accepting that I was interested in men, and I was making an effort to see if it made me feel the same way he did.
I had to be sure this lifestyle change was what I wanted. There was no way I was going to approach the wife and suddenly introduce the idea of, "Hey honey, want to have a threesome with another man so I could suck his dick." Or even worse, ask for a divorce and realize it's not where I wanted to be. She would have thrown me out of the house faster than I could imagine. But the desires were there. I just had to figure out where life or John was taking me.
Deep in my heart, I felt the change coming. I had always adored women and loved having sex with them, but since reconnecting with John and having two sexual experiences in my own house, I felt I knew. It was time for something different. And it was a late Thursday night when John summoned me again. My feelings were confirmed.
The wife and I were lying in bed after another dragging night of little conversation, no emotional attachment, and surely no sex. As our usual routine unfolded that night, she was reading through her magazines, while I thumbed through news articles, trying to keep up with current events in case I needed to publish one. As time passed, I became heatedly involved in an article, and by the time I had finished, I noticed she was already long asleep. I turned off the light on my nightstand, set my glasses down, and pulled the covers up to my neck, settling into a relaxed position as a cool breeze drifted over me. Knowing what that breeze was and also knowing my wife could sleep through a tornado, I whispered, "John, is that you?"
I got no response. I'm not sure if I genuinely expected one. I just felt as if he was in the room with us. Suddenly I got very hot. My heart started pounding, and I felt sticky and wet as if I needed to take a shower. Perhaps in his otherworldly way, John was guiding me away from my wife and into a place where we could be alone. Something in the way it progressed, along with my own thoughts, was guiding me to the bathroom.
I got up, walked into the bathroom, shut the door, and locked it behind me. I turned on the shower, slipped out of my pajamas, and stepped in. The warm cascading water was soothing and brought me to a place of comfort and ease. But suddenly, I felt his presence there.
"John, we have to be quiet. My wife is in the other room," I spoke out softly as I was letting the water strike my head and run down the back of my neck.
I felt that cool breeze loft inside that warm shower, and I knew I wasn't alone. I felt his body press up against my back. Almost as if he was embracing me from behind. I could feel his hands sliding along the sides of my rib cage. Up across my torso, past my nipples, down along my stomach, and towards my hips. The more his hands glided across my dripping wet skin, the more aroused I became. I felt myself getting hard. I felt a tingling inside that I hadn't experienced in a long time. Strikingly, I also felt something I had never felt before. My asshole was pulsing, almost throbbing, like a wet pussy would just before it penetrated.
