How To Have Sex On Mars
Part 9 of 16
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Mars. For millennia, the Red Planet has fired humanity's imagination.
Scientists like Percival Lowell thought it was an "abode of life" with irrigation canals transporting water from the polar icecaps to farms in the warm equatorial region. Novelists like Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ray Bradbury, and Robert A. Heinlein imagined Martian civilizations.
NASA spacecraft revealed that Mars is a cold desert, but that vast amounts of frozen water can be found just below the dusty surface. Today, members of groups like The Mars Society are making plans to build a permanent colony there.
That work would be done by people like our protagonist, Mike Russell, an astronaut who spends years working and living on Mars. What would it be like to be one of the first people to call Mars home? For Mike, it includes the discovery that sex on Mars is very different from on Earth - and Vive la diffΓ©rence!
Here in Part 9, another lonely astronaut asks Mike for a relationship.
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I've put off writing this chapter. It brings back memories that are equal parts wonderful and horrible.
Let's start with the fact that I was someone who got to make frequent trips outside. Because the solar arrays were outdoors, members of my team often got to put on spacesuits and work outside in the sunshine. It was a nice change. We spent most of our time huddling inside a cramped enclosure; lots of my colleagues were jealous of people like me who got to go outside regularly.
Many of my outdoor shifts happened in the company of an engineer named Agatha Turnbull. We became good friends immediately. Agatha was a person who was relentlessly kind, charitable, and optimistic. She never seemed to get discouraged about anything, and she never had anything negative to say about anyone. I should admit right now that I was attracted to Agatha from the beginning. She was beautiful (and sexy) in a way I'd never experienced before.
Agatha was born in the Virgin Islands. I am told that the name "Turnbull" is familiar there because it is an old, well-known family that controls a great deal of wealth and has extensive business and political connections. Her parents gave Agatha everything a child needs to thrive, and she made good use of her advantages.
She was an outstanding student and athlete; if you look her up online, you'll see that she won a bronze medal in gymnastics in the 2038 games in Panama City. She got her undergraduate degree at Harvard and then became a graduate student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where she majored in electrical engineering.
For her thesis, Agatha created designs for a compact control system that maximizes the efficiency and safety of solar arrays. She was awarded patents that attracted the attention of venture capitalists who created a start-up company that manufactured and sold equipment based on her designs. It was a big success.
NASA chose Agatha's company to provide the control system for our array. She immediately volunteered to be part of the team that installed and maintained the Martian energy grid, and it would be difficult to find anyone on Earth more qualified for that job.
By now you know that Agatha was a brilliant and accomplished woman. I've told you that she was a kind and generous soul. What I haven't mentioned is that she was one of the most attractive women I've ever seen. The words "exotic beauty" perfectly describe her.
The Virgin Islands are the home of a specific type of people of African descent. Agatha was black, but she didn't look like most of the black people on Mars, who were largely of mixed ethnicity and had skin of many shades of brown. Agatha had the blackest skin I've ever seen. It was smooth, dark, and luminous.
She had unique ethnic features, with large eyes, a wide nose that suited her face perfectly, and a huge smile that was always on display. She had perfect white teeth that contrasted with her black skin every time she smiled. Agatha could have been a model if she hadn't been so busy being an Olympic athlete and an electronics genius who wanted to be a Martian pioneer.
When I first met Agatha, she had long flowing black hair that hung down to her shoulders. It was lovely. She shocked everyone by shaving her head on the day before we blasted off. Agatha explained that it took a lot of expensive and time-consuming beauty treatments to make her hair that straight and perfect, and she knew there were no beauticians on Mars.
She decided to let her hair grow out naturally. She told me she liked the idea of shaving off her long hair as a way of acknowledging that having a new life on Mars required leaving parts of her old life behind. Agatha kept her hair trimmed short, leaving her head with a dense covering that looked like black velvet.
I loved her almost immediately. It started as a completely platonic relationship, but it was easy for me to imagine that any man would be extremely lucky to be her lover. We spent long hours outside in spacesuits, unpacking the components of the solar array and assembling them like IKEA furniture.
"We are going to be very popular people tonight, Mike," Agatha said one afternoon as we were connecting a new section of the array to our grid. "Adding this many new solar panels is going to increase power generation by a lot. A lot. People who haven't been able to get started on some very important work are going to be glad to see so much more power flowing to the batteries."
"Yeah. That assumes all this stuff works properly," I said. "Of course, I can't imagine anything will go wrong. This equipment is almost foolproof. Whoever designed this stuff is clearly a genius."
Just in case you didn't catch the joke, remember that Agatha designed the equipment.
"You say the nicest things," Agatha said.
"Thanks for noticing," I said.
Those shifts spent outdoors were always exhausting. They usually ended with us covered in dust from helmet to boot. Everything you've heard about the dust of Mars is true. It gets everywhere. We worked extremely hard to keep that crap out of the enclosure, but no matter what we did, we had to constantly go around cleaning it up.
The main thing we did was clean our spacesuits as thoroughly as possible before going back inside. The astronauts on the moon used little brooms to try to keep moon dust outside where it belonged. We had a better say.
Since Mars has an atmosphere, we were able to use an air compressor that supplied a hose with a nozzle that delivered blasts of air whenever we wanted it. Hosing ourselves off with compressed air removed almost all of the dust before we climbed into the airlock. Even so, we'd find little traces of dust on our suits after we took them off, and we had to be careful to wipe them off before returning to the main part of the enclosure.