How I Met My Eldritch Wife

It was a warm summer day, the sun shone high in the sky, the birds chirped loudly in a jubilant chorus, and I hated it. I holed myself inside my gloomy apartment. I lived in a one-room studio apartment, I was sparse in my decorations, all I had was my bed, my closet, and my kitchenette.

I used to go to college, I wanted to become a history teacher once upon a time. At some point, I stopped going, around the same time I bought the book. Near where I live is an antique store with a rather large amount of old books. I only went there once but when I went I felt an almost magnetic pull to the book. It's an old tome with yellowed pages. The cover is made of a deep crimson leather with black writing of a language I couldn't read up until now.

I had spent months learning about the book and how to read its contents. Everything from shady message boards to buying strange things from the dark web. My efforts paid off, slowly but surely, I could decipher the text of the book.

The title was, direct.

ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO GLANCE UPON THE CURSED PAGES OF THIS TOME OF YORE.

Standard stuff really.

on the first page was another warning.

GUESS YOU CAN'T READ THEN? OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID? LAST CHANCE, NEXT PAGE IS FUCKED UP, CLOSE THE BOOK NOW AND CONTINUE YOUR NORMAL LIFE.

Not so standard stuff. I flipped the page.

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YA. WELL LET'S GET INTRODUCTIONS OUT OF THE WAY. MY NAME IS WAYLAND N'ORGATH SEL'IAT I AM THE BOOK YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING.

What the fuck? What book is named Wayland? I turned the page.

THAT'S THE GUYS SKIN WHO MY BINDER IS MADE OUT OFF, MY OLD MASTER HAD A THING FOR FLAYING PEOPLE WHO FAILED HIM.

"what the fuck?" I said audibly. Can this thing hear my thoughts? I turned the page again.

YEP, IM A MAGIC BOOK MADE FROM THE FLESH OF CULTISTS WORSHIPPING OLD GODS. I CAN DO A LOT MORE THAN JUST READ YOUR MIND.

So the Necronomicon?

NOPE, THAT BOOK NEVER ACTUALLY EXISTED. LOVECRAFT THOUGHT THE NAME SOUNDED COOL. BUT THAT'S NOT A BAD DESCRIPTOR OF WHAT I AM. SO WHY'D YA PICK ME UP, KID? YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A LUNATIC.

Well, mostly morbid curiosity.

SERIOUSLY? YOU SPENT MONTHS OF YOUR LIFE LEARNING A DEAD LANGUAGE FOR MORBID CURIOSITY?

....Well, when you put it like that.

*OKAY SO, I CAN DO A LOT OF WEIRD SHIT, TEACH YOU MAGIC, ALLOW YOU TO PERCEIVE THE VEIL THAT OBSCURES YOUR PETTY HUMAN SIGHT, I CAN ALLOW YOU TO CROSS THE ASTRAL BRIDGE TO MEET THE ELDERS AND VIEW THEIR TRUE MAJESTY. WHATEVER YOU WANT KID."

I thought for a long moment. Can you help me get laid?

YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME.

Nah, I'm almost thirty and a virgin. As evident from our current conversation.

I CAN MAKE YOU A LITERAL DEMIGOD AND ALLOW YOU CONTROL OF YOUR FEEBLE REALITY, AND YOU JUST WANT TO GET YOUR DICK WET?

Yes.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A FLIMSY PREMACE TO AN ERROTIC STORY BECAUSE THE AUTHOR WAS BORED AND WANTED TO WRITE TENTACLE PORN.

What?

NOTHING KID, SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE POWER TO CONTROL SOMEONE AND MAKE THEM DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

Nah I'm not the rapey type.

WELL, THE OTHER OPTION IS TO SUMMON MY MASTER, SHE LIKES YOU PINK FLESHY THINGS.

You said she flayed people.

NAH, THAT'S MY OLD MASTER, HE WAS A BASTARD. MY NEW MASTER IS LESS KILLY, AND KIND OF A NYMPH.

Well that sounds perfect.

IF YOU SAY SO KID, JUST KNOW SHE GETS ATTACHED EASY AND DOESN'T LET GO.

I can deal with clingy, so what do I need to do?

WELL, I NEED THIRTY FIVE LITERS OF WATER. TWENTY KILOGRAMS OF IRON. FOUR LITERS OF AMMONIA.ONE AND A HALF KILOGRAMS OF LIME. EIGHT HUNDRED GRAMS OF PHOSPHORUS. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY GRAMS OF SALT, TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY GRAMS OF NITER, ONE HUNDRED GRAMS OF SULFUR. EIGHT GRAMS OF FLUORIDE, AND THREE GRAMS OF SILICON.

That's alot of stuff. I don't even know where to get half of it.

GOOD THING IM FUCKING WITH YA, ALL I NEED TO DO IS CONTACT HER AND USE A LITTLE BIT OF YOUR BLOOD AS FUEL. SHE MIGHT BE NAPPING BUT SHE'LL COME.

I hope she cums.

HEARD THAT, NOW PRICK YOUR FINGER AND PRESS IT INTO MY PAGES.

A small circle of runes appeared on the page,and an arrow pointing to it, and a message that said, 'blood here please'. This book is kind of a dick.

IF YOU HAD YOUR SKIN FLAYED AND TURNED INTO A SENTIENT BOOK YOU'D BE MIFFED AS WELL.

I shrugged, well, I was here. I took a small sewing needle and pricked my finger, a small glob of blood seeped out and I pressed it to the small circle.

I waited, and waited, and waited. Nothing was happening.

GOT TO GIVE HER TIME, SHE'S ISN'T SOME OMNIPOTENT GOD, SHE HAS NEEDS TOO, SHE'LL GET MY MESSAGE IN A BIT.

Well, guess all I Could do was wait.

I pulled out my laptop and began mindlessly browsing. Hey Wayland, what's your master's name?

WELL, IN YOUR TONGUE IT WOULD BE NORATH'SHO-KALIM. BUT SHE GOES BY NORA TO HER CULTIST.

Interesting. I started looking her up. What I found wasn't exactly appealing. She looked like a huge formless monstrosity with thousands of limbs and even more eyes.

WOW SHES LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT, SHE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THAT NOWADAYS.

What does she look like now?

SORRY KID, IF I WERE TO SHOW YOU HER TRUE FORM YOUR EYES WOULD BLEED BLACK AND YOUR MIND WOULD SHATTER.

Well, worth a shot. Guess I just have to wait.

And wait I did. A few hours passed. I decided to talk to Wayland for most of it, he's a pretty nice guy once you get past him being a book made of human flesh.

So what exactly is Cthulhu?

UGH, THAT ASSHOLE. HE'S A SELF CENTERED PRICK IS WHAT HE IS, ABSOLUTELY ZERO CARE FOR HIS CULTIST. ALL HE DOES IS SLEEP ON HIS COUCH, HE NEVER CLEANS UP AFTER HIMSELF, AND WORST OF ALL HE TOLD NORA SHE WAS A FAT BITCH LAST TIME WE WERE AT ONE OF AZOTHOTH'S PARTIES.

What a dick. So how many of these etities are there?

TONS, IF THERE'S AN ASPECT OF HUMAN LIFE THERE'S USUALLY A GOD OR DEMIGOD WHO CONTROLS IT OR FEEDS OFF OF IT.

What's Nora preside over?

UH WELL, SHE FEEDS OFF OF HUMAN PLEASURE AND SEXUALALITY. ALSO LOVE AND ROMANCE.

Huh, that's convenient.

YOU DON'T KNOW HALF OF IT. I CAN SENSE THERE'S A POWERFUL FORCE SETTING YOU UP HERE, GOOD THINGS ARE ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO YOU.

Huh, that's, reassuring.

JUST DON'T OVERTHINK IT, BE YOURSELF AND TALK TO HER LIKE YOU WOULD ANYONE ELSE.

I nodded

SHE GOT MY MESSAGE AND SHE SAYS SHE'LL BE HERE IN A FEW MINUTES. GOODLUCK LOVERBOY. IM PEACING OUT.

A Picture of a hand showed up holding two fingers up, I blinked, and then Wayland was gone.

I started feeling really hot, like boiling in the summer heat hot. I breathed deeply and tried to focus. I felt arousal shoot throughout my whole body. I was so horny. I needed to release it now. I tore off my shorts, and stared at my cock, it was practically bursting.

"Well that's certainly a way to greet a woman" I heard a sexy voice in my head. it was deep and rumbling. "I'm certainly not complaining though, I'm sure we can have lots of fun."

Suddenly all the light in my apartment had left, and I was alone in the dark. My heart jumped into my throat, fear had taken me over.

In the dark void I saw her appear.

She was tall, at least nine feet. her skin was pale, almost like porcelain. her legs were long and moved with confidence in the pitch black. Her body was immaculate, and also very nude. She was all curves, all in the right places. Her breasts were large perfect melons of flesh with faded pink nipples. her eyes glowed a light pink, all four of them. her four long arms stretched out, one pair on her hips and the other folded along her chubby stomach. Her hair was long black strands, with white dots literally moving through the strands as she walked towards me. Each step she took sent a slight jiggle through her body. My arousal hit me even harder than it did moments ago. She was my dream woman.

she walked ever closer to me, each step sexy and practised.

And then she tripped over something, she fell forward hard.

I did my best to dive forward to catch her, but I only ended up falling on my face and having her land on me. Her skin was cold.

Suddenly we were back in my room, laying sprawled out on the floor. My head hurt.

"Ow ow ow. fuck I'm sorry." Her voice was higher now, "Are you okay? I was trying to do the whole sexy seductress thing and I didn't pay attention and and..."

"I'm okay," I assured her. " Head hurts a bit, but I'm okay."

We both sat up on the floor, she was still very naked. "Oh I can fix that." she leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead, and the small pain went away.

"Wow, that's amazing."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Being a god has its perks."

"Thanks Nora," I said

It was easy to see her blush on her white skin. "Oh, you know my name already."

"Yea, Wayland told me. Wrote me? I don't know. Are you thirsty? hungry? Anything I can get you?" I asked

"Well, hungry, but it isn't something you can cook for me."

"Oh? what is it?"

She blushed harder. "We, we can get to that later. So, can I ask why you summoned me today?"

I looked down at my still pent-up cock. "Well, uh, has to do with this."

"I see. And you want my help, relieving you?"

I nodded.

"Well, I can certainly do that. But before we do, I need you to understand something."

"Okay, shoot."

"Well, I'm not the god of carnal lust, far from it, I'm the god of romance, of love. and if I am to please you today, you will be entered into a contract, where we will be together as lovers until the last star in your universe burns out and the sleeping god arises and you cease to exist."

"So marriage?"

She blushed so much that she turned pink. "Something like that, yes."

"Fuck it, why not? A super sexy elder god as a wife for the rest of the time? Who could say no?"

She smiled and rushed forward, embracing me with all four of her arms, knocking both of us to the floor again. She began kissing me all over my face.

"Oh my gods!" she exclaimed. "Thank you so much! My elders were starting to get on my case about how I needed to settle down with a nice minor god and start focusing on my future. But if you saw half the gods in Azothoth's court, yuck."

"Uh huh, So, What now?"

"Well, I fulfill my end of the bargain silly. Now, how do you want me?"

I swallowed hard. "Uh, well, I don't really know, I'm kind of a virgin."

"Oh, interesting, not too many of you these days."

She stood up and offered me a hand, I took it. She led me to my bed and we both sat down. I felt my shame rise in my chest. What the fuck was I doing?

"So, uh, what do you do for fun?" I asked.

"Not too much, mostly wander the stars granting those with love in their hearts with love and companionship."

"That's really nice. How does being an elder god even work?"

"Sweetie, you could not possibly comprehend. Being a being of pure cosmic power isn't something that you can understand. May I ask you a question?"

"Yea, what's up?"

"Why are you covering yourself?"

Subconsciously I had covered my erection with my hands.

"Sorry, guess I'm kinda nervous. First time I've ever had a woman in my apartment."

"Don't be nervous sweetie, for after tonight we will be joined in cosmic union, a little tug and pull isn't anything to be scared about."

I nodded and moved my hands. "it's just, you're very beautiful and I don't really know what to do with myself."

She put a cool hand on my cheek, pulling my face close to hers. "Whatever feels right sweetie." she leaned down and planted an icy kiss on my lips.

Fire shot through my entirety, white-hot lust burned through my veins. My cock pulsed with need.

She pulled away. "Let me get that for you."

She stood up from the bed and sat down in front of me. Even sitting she was almost as tall as me. Her front pair of hands slowly moved forward, grabbing my cock in between her long dexterous fingers. Her ice-cold skin felt great on my burning need. She ran her fingers slowly up and down my shaft, all the while staring dreamily into my eyes.

"Tell me if it's too rough, okay sweetie?" she said

"It...it feels amazing." I moaned out. "Your hands are so soft."

"Thank you, sweetie." She massaged my shaft slowly, making sure to pleasure every inch of flesh she touched. I felt the pressure build inside, my orgasm was coming.

"Nora...I'm about."

"I know, just let it all out on my chest. Okay, sweetie?"

I moaned as my cock began to twitch and shoot out rope after rope of white liquid onto Nora's sizable chest. I breathed hard.

"Wow, that felt great."

"Good sweetie, don't worry there's so much more to come." She leaned forward, grabbing my face in between her hands and kissing me deeply on the lips. Another shot of arousal and hot energy hit me hard. My cock grew to full mast once again, and I felt ready for another round.

"Wow, you're good at that." I breathed out.

"After a couple of million years you learn a thing or two."

I could only nod.

"So, what shall we do next?" she asked.

"I have a request if you're willing."

"Anything for you my little light."

"Well, I've always had a thing for feet. Can you use yours on me?"

"You humans always come up with the most exciting things, I can do that, lay on the floor for me baby."

I did as she asked. laying on my my floor, staring up at the tall goddess from beyond the stars.

She didn't waste a moment, raising her leg and placing it gently on my hard cock. Like everything else, it was icy cold. she slowly ran her sole up my shaft, her skin was smooth as silk and soft against my skin.

"Does it feel good?"

I nodded. "It's amazing."

She smiled. She grabbed my shaft between her toes and massaged my shaft between the porcelain digits. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the light pressure. She pulled her foot away and came back with both feet, holding my cock between them, jerking me off with her soft soles. I opened my eyes to see her sitting on a large black writhing mass. Her pale legs moved in slow motions, up and down my engorged shaft. Her eyes were still half closed and her smile was still dreamy. I felt my second orgasm begin to churn. She sped up her motion, bringing me to my second orgasm. My cock exploded with even more cum all across my chest, covering myself with my own cum.

I breathed heavily as my cock began to soften. Nora stood from her black mass, it slithered into the floor. she kneeled between my legs, and she let her tongue out of her mouth, it was split at the end into two small nubs. She slowly licked up my body, catching most of my recent orgasm from my body. She came up to my face, just inches away.

She leaned down and pulled me into a deep kiss, the salty taste of my cum on her lips. Again a shot of white-hot sexual energy hit my like a shot, reenergizing me and bringing my errection back to its fullness.

she pulled away like a shot, reenergizing me and bringing my erection back to its fullness. We collected ourselves and both sat back on the bed.

"So, what was the tentacle chair about?"

"Oh, this?" She nodded her head and a black mass grew from the floor. It was a tentacle. "It's just something I can do."

Idea.

"Can you do something for me?"

"Anything little light."

"Could you lift me with them, and maybe, I don't know, use your mouth on me?"

She smiled. Without warning four black masses grabbed my wrist and ankles. They were smooth and cool against my skin. I was lifted into the air and turned upside down. I looked up to see Nora's dreamy smile as she strutted into her position, staring at my erect cock.

She was done playing around now. She dove down, taking all of me into her throat.

Holy shit her mouth.

It was cool and wet. Her soft flesh messaged every part of my cock as she bobbed her head up and down on my shaft. Her tongue wrapped around me, both tips slithering around filling me with intense pleasure. I was light-headed from the sudden and unrelenting pleasure on my sensitive cock. I started moaning loudly, my body unable to do anything but enjoy her.

I felt the pressure build and build, my third orgasm ready.

I tried to say anything, but my mind was scrambled from the amazing feeling that all I could manage was gibberish. My body tensed and my cock erupted in what felt like my hardest orgasm yet. I bucked against my otherworldy restraints, moaning louder as she swallowed every drop of my cum.

She commanded the tentacles to lay me down on the bed. I gasped for air, breathing hard from the exertion.

"Amazing my little light, simply amazing."

I nodded weakly.

"Most of my partners can never make it through the first feeding, but you have made it through three, it's impressive."

"Feeding?" I said.

"Well, this isn't my true form, I require vitality to come into this realm in my true flesh, but we don't have to worry about that now." She walked over, and climbed on the bed, pulling me into another kiss of life. "Now, we join together." she swung her legs and sat on top of me, my erection laying close to her entrance.

"Will I survive? I feel weak."

"We will see my little light, we will see."

She raised herself, grabbing my sensitive member and pointing it to her opening. I was too tired to protest, whatever happened to me, I would endure. If i did die tonight, Helluva way to go.

She pressed down, pushing my hard length inside her, inch after inch of myself entering her nether regions.

Every inch of her wetness felt strange and wonderful. It was cool, wet, and in every sense of the word, amazing. Her soft flesh was filled with nubs, each one moving independently massaging my cock inside her. She ground her hips on me, moving slowly, as she pleasured my length. I moaned uncontrollably as she rode me. I laid there, accepting that I may die for this amazing night of passion.

"How do I feel little light?"

I nodded. "like a dream."

she smiled her dreamy smile. "Will you fill me with your essence? Will you seal our deal by filling me with your seed?"

She didn't have to tell me twice.

I bucked against her tight alien pussy. My final orgasm shot hard inside her, I came so much that it leaked out of her entrance.

Then everything went black and all I could remember was her dreamy smile.

—-FIVE YEARS LATER—-

"See ya, sweetie." I leaned over and kissed Nora on the cheek. She was in front of our stove, wearing nothing but an apron.

"See you later, little light. Can you grab the white moo fluid on your way home?"

"I can grab milk, but I got to go, my boss will kill me if I'm late again."

She smiled. "Have a good day Little Light. love you."

"Love you too baby."

Life has a strange way of working out like this. After the night we met, I awoke from a week-long coma. Wayland explained to me that Nora typically drains men dry to hasten her return to our plain of existence, but something about me made her want to wait just a little longer to return.