Honey Im Home Ch 03

Author's note: The following incidents are probably mostly fictional and more than a bit satirical. No sexual acts involve living humans under age 18.

Many thanks to Hypoxia for editing and constructive criticism; most helpful. Any blame is my own.

Reader comments or suggestions are welcome and appreciated.

*** Honey, I'm Home! 03 ***

"If I had it to do all over again,

I'd do it all over you."

Randall squinted at Lisa, who was still back by the tent. Odd, but she seemed to have changed her clothes during the few seconds it had taken him to lay out the blanket. And was there someone with her? How could that be? He rubbed his eyes with a sandy hand.

Damn it all! Now he had sand in his eyes! He scrubbed at his eyes with his palms, making it worse.

"That's the guy over there," Lisa told Zach. "Major doofus, but he's the one that invented the machine that just brought us here."

"Scrawny little dude," Zach observed.

"Yeah. He smells too." Lisa hesitated. "The thing is, he owns the machine, and the only reason he told me about it is because he wants to get into my pants."

"So does everyone else," Zach pointed out. "Doesn't mean you have to let them."

"Nor do I intend to," Lisa retorted. "But we might have to play the game to get what we want. Which is the machine." She sighed. "Look, Zach—"

"Muh-fuh daid," Zach said darkly.

"I get that, Zach. But we need him. I don't understand that machine. I don't know how to calibrate it or reset it... We're going to need him."

A yowling snarl shattered the silence.

"What the hay-ell was that?" Zach asked.

"I don't know. Saber-toothed tiger, maybe?. There were plenty of them, and worse things too, around here in this time period. We need to get him out of here. Really soon."

"So do it," Zach urged.

"Where am I going to take him? Actually that's not the question. The only place I can take him is back to the lab."

There was another screaming roar from the distance. It seemed to be closer than before.

"So what? Better than letting him get eaten by whatever that thing is."

Lisa thought hard. There was only one way, and Zach wasn't going to like it.

She looked down the beach. Randall was looking back over his shoulder as he trotted down the beach toward her.

"OK; look, Zach. You go back, now. Hide somewhere in the lab and wait for me. I'll bring the Doc back and... just go, Zach! Step on that red ball and you'll be back in a flash. And don't let anyone shut the power off or I'll be stuck here."

"I don't like it," Zach growled.

"Please!" Lisa begged. "He's going to see you. If I'm not back in five minutes, you can come get me, OK? And take my purse. It has his keycard and stuff--so don't lose it."

Zach stepped onto the red sphere and disappeared.

Lisa ran down the beach toward Randall, her long hair streaming in the breeze. She threw herself into his arms when they met.

Ugh. He smelled like moldy gym socks.

"Oh God, Sweetie! What's out there roaring?"

Randall held her in his arms, nearly overwhelmed by her mysterious female scent. This intoxicating creature was looking to him for comfort and protection!

"I don't know, but we should go back," he said, trying to sound calm and assured. "There's probably no danger, but just to be safe..."

There were crashing noises in the undergrowth above the sandy beach.

"Yes!" Lisa said, shivering against Randall's sunken chest. "Please get me out of here right now. I'm scared!"

They ran back to the exit point, Lisa dragging the faltering Randall by the hand for the last hundred feet or so.

They stepped off the red tile. Randall, gasping for breath, staggered to the power supply switch and shut it off. The machinery began to wind down.

Lisa rushed over to him and let him put his arms around her.

"I was so scared! I almost peed my panties," she moaned.

Panties! Randall could not help visualizing the wispy lace garment covering her mound. He imagined slowly peeling it off her. His cock began to recover from the traumatic event, growing, stiffening and glowing.

"Maybe we should go to your apartment," he suggested. "You said—"

"Oh, pooh!" Lisa pouted. "I have my heart set on our first time being on the beach somewhere. But not San Diego," she added hastily. "Couldn't we go somewhere that doesn't have anything dangerous prowling around?"

"It would have to be around 300 million years ago," Randall said. "And I've never gone that far before. Slippage could be a significant issue..."

Lisa didn't know what he meant by 'slippage,' but it didn't sound like a good thing.

"Please, Honey! Take me somewhere where we can be alone together!"

"Well, my office is right here," Randall said. "I have a nice couch..."

"Someone might interrupt us here," Lisa demurred. "And there's no beach. Take me somewhere safe and private."

When she said 'take me' Randall nearly came in his pants. She obviously wanted him desperately. All he had to do was get her to the right location and his dreams would come true.

"OK, let me think a minute."

Lisa let her hands play across his bony ribs to help him think faster. She rubbed her crotch against his hip-bone, hoping Zach wasn't watching.

"Right, then," Randall croaked. She couldn't keep her hands off him! He had to get her somewhere safe before the mood was lost.

"How about Bali?" he suggested. "About 10,000 years ago? That should be safe enough. The first modern humans wouldn't be showing up for five thousand years or so."

"Sounds good!" Lisa whispered into his grimy ear. "Let's hurry! I'm so wet it's dripping down my legs!"

In fact, Zach's sticky cum was dripping down her leg, and her panties were soaked with it. Lisa wished she had time for a quick wash, or at least a wipe. But she did not dare leave Randall alone.

Randall wondered if she'd had another accidental urination episode. Her references to incontinence rather unsettled him.

He fiddled with some dials before reactivating the main power switch, then punched a few buttons on a console.

"OK, let's do it."

They embraced while standing on the red tile. Randall pressed the red button. Poof -- they stepped onto the sugary sand of another pristine beach.

"Ooooh, Sweetie!" Lisa enthused. "You know the nicest places!"

Randall put his arms around her and tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away shyly.

The scenery was awe-inspiring. On one side of the narrow beach, the ocean was a crystal-clear turquoise out to the horizon, and on the other side was a placid lagoon. Graceful palm trees lined the sand before the jungle took over where the land rose steeply to the mountains.

"That looks like a nice spot," she said, pointing to a clump of palms between lagoon and sea about a half-mile away.

"Maybe we could find something closer," Randall said feebly. "Actually right here is pretty nice...."

He was bone-tired after the last jump. And he had already had plenty of exercise for one day.

"Don't tempt me, Sweetie!" Lisa vamped. "I want you so bad I can taste it. But I want it to be special for our first time."

She started off down the beach, tugging at Randall's hand. He followed along reluctantly, wondering exactly what she thought she could taste, and whether that was a good thing.

When they reached the small palm grove, Lisa clapped her hands with delight.

"Ooooh, this is so perfect! And just think, we are the first humans to ever visit this spot!"

"Probably not, actually," Randall said. "If you count

homo erectus

as human, which they were, more or less. Proto-humans, if you will."

"Oh, I definitely will!" Lisa giggled. "And it looks like we have an erectus right here!"

She tweaked the head of Randall's prick where it pressed against his pants.

"I kind of doubt the 'homo' part though," she tittered. "Unless maybe you mistook me for a boy."

Randall shook his head irritably. What the hell was she talking about? There seemed to be a serious communication failure between them.

But she had touched his cock again! Obviously she was fascinated with it, which was the point, after all. This was definitely the time to make his move.

"Well then, maybe we should lie down," Randall suggested nonchalantly.

"Yes!" Lisa squealed. "Oh, but I wish we had brought a blanket. I don't want to get sand in my hu-hu."

Damnation! "I guess I could go get one," he said tiredly. Actually it wasn't a bad idea. He could go back to the lab and take a power nap before coming back.

"No!" Lisa blurted. "I mean, I don't want to let you out of my sight. I don't want to take any more chances on losing you. We'll just spread our clothes out on the ground...."

She wiggled out of her dress. She thought of Zach walking around the lab angrily clenching his fists and dreaming of wringing Randall's scrawny neck. She giggled silently.

He began unbuckling his belt. Lisa nearly gagged when she caught a whiff of his sweaty crotch.

"Maybe we should take a swim in the lagoon first," she suggested. "I'm a little sticky..."

"You could swim while I go back and get a blanket."

Randall had decided that he did not like swimming all that much. The risk of drowning was unacceptable.

"Never mind," Lisa said hurriedly. "I'm just a little nervous. Unhook me, please. My hands are too shaky to do it."

Randall fumbled with the clasp of her bra, obviously having not the slightest idea of how it worked.

What a dink, Lisa thought. Totally clueless.

She wondered if she could convince him that he had gotten laid without actually letting him do it to her.

She reached behind her with one hand and unhooked her bra. Randall stared, his pants puddled around his ankles, as she shrugged off the thin straps and tossed the brassiere to the ground.

She turned to face him and he moaned at the sight of her firm, upturned breasts. He reached out with a trembling finger to touch a nipple. She backed up, turned around, and spread her dress out on the sand.

Randall's cock throbbed in his underpants as he watched the movements of her taut ass. He wondered if she would take her own panties off or wait for him to do it for her.

"Give me your pants and shirt," Lisa demanded.

Randall pulled of his shirt and tossed it to her, but when he tried to step out of his pants, he stumbled and fell. He had forgotten to remove his shoes.

Lisa tried not to laugh. The poor little guy was so inept it was more pitiful than funny.

When Randall finally got himself untangled, he laid out his pants and shirt next to Lisa's discarded dress. Lisa sat on the clothing and then lay back, pillowing her golden head on her hands.

"You can take off my panties, if you want," she said shyly. "I hope you like what you find under them."

Randall dropped to his knees and tugged at the waistband of Lisa's panties. A dream come true!

He paused when her small, hairless pussy was revealed. The pink slit was lined with ruffled little lips and glistened with drops of moisture.

When he tried to pull her panties down further she clapped her knees together. "Kiss me, Randy!" she moaned. "I'm almost ready..."

Randall leaned over her with his lips pursed. She turned her face away and he ended up kissing her ear.

"Not there, Sweetie! I want you to kiss my pussy. It will make me really, really hot for you."

Randall wasn't sure if that was appropriate but he decided to give it a try. He nuzzled at her naked mound and she spread the lips of her sex with her fingers. Her scent was intoxicating.

He cautiously extended the tip of his tongue and tasted her. She squealed with excitement and he became bolder, lapping up what he assumed were her vaginal secretions. He had not known they would be so copious.

Lisa experienced a pang of guilt when she remembered that what Randall was so eagerly slurping up was mostly Zach's cum. But he seemed to be enjoying it, and what could she do, anyway?

"Oooh, you're so good at that!" Lisa sighed. "But do that a little higher, please."

Randall plunged his tongue into her navel and probed.

"Not that high," she giggled. "Here. Put your tongue right here."

Randall applied the tip of his tongue to the small pink protuberance she was indicating with her finger. She moaned and pushed her hips up to meet his assault as he boldly lashed the little nub with his tongue and explored the area near it.

"Oh Randy!" Lisa gasped. "I can't believe you've never done this before! I'm so close! You've got me right on the edge already!"

On the edge of what? Randall wondered. And was that a good thing? She didn't seem to be in distress, although she was breathing heavily and squirming beneath him.

He wished she would quit calling him 'Randy.' Nobody was allowed to call him that except his mom. And she had been gone for years.

Surprisingly, Lisa wasn't lying. This doofus was going to make her come if she didn't stop him. She really should stop him....

Randall continued to tongue her clit, not sure what else to do. It was oddly sensuous, but his neck was starting to ache.

Lisa decided that if she was going to have to fuck him, this would be the time. She was so close to coming... It would take her mind off how physically repugnant he was.

But even this close to orgasm, she could not imagine being face to face with him. Yuck. She wriggled out of his grasp and rolled over, raising her cute ass to his face. She spread her thighs as much as she could with her panties still caught around her knees.

"Do it to me now, Randy! Put your hard cock in my pussy and fuck me!"

Randall struggled to get himself into position. He put his hands on her hips and pushed himself against her smooth behind. Would his cock just go in or did he have to get it started somehow? He dry-humped her ass. It felt really good.

"Can't decide whether you want door number one or door number two?" Lisa giggled. "I think this time you better settle for—oh God!"

Randall groaned as streams of cum shot out of the tip of his small cock, lubricating the channel of Lisa's buttocks and spattering onto her lower back. He continued to rock his hips against her.

"Oh yes, Randy! Come all over me! Oh, it's so hot!"

Randall sat back on his heels and looked at the mess he had made. Strings of cum festooned Lisa's lower back and ass, and some of it was dripping down her cleft. He was quite proud of himself.

Lisa stood and pulled up her panties. Well, at least he hadn't managed to get his little weenie into her. Could have been worse.

"That was sooo good, Randy! Now I need to wash up, I'll just be a second, so why don't you lie down here and we'll take a little nap. But I'll warn you, after I rest awhile I'm going to want some more of that!"

Randall flopped onto his back and covered his eyes with his arm. He had done it! Fucked a beautiful woman! He was no longer a virgin!

Lisa waded into the shallow lagoon and slipped her panties off. She rinsed the cum off her back and butt before carefully washing out her pussy. As she ran her fingers through her folds she shivered with frustration. Damn it, she had been this close to coming! And now she was feeling horribly deprived.

She was going to have to get Zach to finish what Randall had started, she thought uncomfortably. But at least she could say truthfully that he hadn't fucked her, even with a finger.

Zach would just have to understand that some minor sacrifices might have to be made to get control of the Multi-Dimensional Transporter.

She rinsed her panties out carefully and laid them on the sand to dry, then piled her hair on top of her head and paddled around the crystal-clear lagoon for a while. She kept a careful eye on Randall as she swam. When he didn't move for several minutes, she clambered out of the water and retrieved her damp panties.

She tiptoed over to where Randall lay. He was snoring softly and had a foolish grin on his face. Good. He was down for the count.

What was not so good was that he was lying on her dress. She didn't dare try to pull it out from under him.

She tugged her panties on and found her bra. It looked like she would be going back to the lab half-naked again.

She trotted back toward the exit point, looking back from time to time to make sure Randall was still asleep. As she got closer she saw Zach standing there, looking around.

Uh oh. He was sure to notice that she had lost her dress, and would want an explanation. She would just have to tell him the truth. More or less. And he would just have to deal with it.

Zach saw her and strode toward her. When they came together she flung her arms around his thick neck and kissed him passionately.

"What happened to your dress?" he asked. "And where is Doctor Doofus?"

"You didn't have to come back for me, Zach," Lisa scolded. "I wanted you to stay there to make sure no one came in and shut off the power. I'd have been back in a second."

"What happened to your dress?" he repeated.

"Could we just go now? I'll explain everything when we get back."

As they neared the exit point they heard a whooping cry from the tree line. It was answered by a similar hoot not far away.

"Monkeys?" Zach guessed.

Fine hairs prickled all over Lisa's body. "Maybe some kind of birds?"

Or maybe

Homo Erectus,

she thought, hoping they had been vegetarians. It would not be wise to leave Randall here very long, just in case they turned out to be hostile.

If that was even what was making the noises. It probably wasn't. Maybe orangutans? They were shy and nice...weren't they?

Zach and Lisa stepped into the Transporter field and out into Randall's lab. She shut off the power and hugged herself, rubbing her arms nervously.

"Cold in here," she said.

"That's what happens when you don't wear clothes," Zach said grimly. "So what happened to the dress? Did you spill catsup on it and have to send it out to be cleaned?"

"It's not what you think, Zach. Let me start from the beginning and you'll see. Let's go to his office. At least we can lock the door."

They sat on Randall's couch and Lisa covered herself with a thin, badly-stained throw that was apparently Randall's nap blanket.

She explained how she had lured Randall to a place far enough down the beach that she would have a chance to get away once he fell asleep or was otherwise distracted.

"And then I decided to go swimming, so I took off my dress..." she hesitated, "but he's kind of afraid of water, so he said he would wait for me. And when I got back he was fast asleep on my dress, so I just took off."

"Dude sees you in your underwear, frolicking in the waves, and he falls asleep?" Zach asked in disbelief. "He gay or something?"

"I don't think so. Just a geek. There's really nothing to worry about, Sweetie." She hugged his powerful arm. "The only man who gets to play with this pussy is you."

Zach pulled her into his lap and kissed her soundly. She smiled as she felt his hard cock pressing against her hip.

"You know what I'd like right now?" she whispered into his ear.

"I got a pretty good idea," Zach said, deftly unhooking her bra and laying her back on the couch.

She lifted her legs to make it easier for him to strip her panties off.

He stood and removed his own clothes as she watched him, squirming with excitement at the sight of his powerful, sinuous body.

He lowered himself onto her naked form and his mammoth cock slid into her up to the hilt.

*********

Next: Randall and the Homo Erectus erections.