RyuKenDragon Presents
Hentai Travelogue
Based on Hentai Travels by Costaway
Chapter 2
Roughly an hour later, I was sitting on a medical bed in what looked like a very modern and well-appointed private clinic as the eponymous Dr Myers was finishing up the series of tests she'd put me through.
It was apparent that the Good Doctor and my new friend Officer Stoltz were old acquaintances, from the banter that had ensued when he'd dragged my shell-shocked arse into the clinic and explained roughly what had happened. His initial words were, "I found him lying on the ground and he followed me home, can we keep him Ma?". The eye roll the doctor responded with as she led me to a gurney seemed only to delight him. The good doctor was a woman probably in her late forties or early fifties, who'd let her short hair go fully grey rather than submit to constant dying, which gave her a very dignified, professional air.
She'd taken some blood and urine samples, and run me through a much more thorough mental exam then the good officer had, and I'd had to shake off my shock-induced funk at least partially to actually comply with her requests. She'd dutifully taken note of all the meds I was on and taken an at least summarised version of my medical history - as much as I could reasonably provide given the circumstances. Before the records were digitised, my medical files needed to be pulled around the hospital on a cart.
She'd then put me through a series of physical tests, examining and manipulating my joints, listening to my heart with a stethoscope, testing my reflexes, tapping my chest, etc. I was only half paying attention throughout. Because a set of words were echoing through my head on a loop.
One Billion Dollars.
It was the kind of money 99.9999 percent of humanity would never get.
One Billion Dollars.
I tried to calculate how long it would have taken me to make that much on my regular salary from the Hospital, but gave up after I sped past a millennia - and that was very early on in the calculation.
One Billion Dollars.
Even for the incredibly fucked up and tangled world of international banking, THAT much money disappearing and reappearing in some random bloke's bank account made no bloody sense. Even more so considering the account couldn't have existed for long - I'd never seen the card before I pulled it out of my pocket a couple of hours ago. What bank would ever transfer such an obscene amount of money into a brand-new account of a guy who had never been within a galaxy's reach of that kind of payday?
One Billion Dollars.
The question now became... what the hell did I do about it?
I rubbed my face and sighed as Dr Myers finished the last of her tests and began scribbling results on her clipboard. She was frowning intently at the results, and after a brief word of "Wait here please. One of my nurses will be with you shortly." She wandered away towards the entrance where I assume Officer Stoltz was waiting. I stood up and stretched, then began to look around the room more intently, desperate to find something to keep my mind off of my current predicament. There were an unusually large amount of sexual health diagrams and posters on the wall, but beyond that, little of interest, so my mind just went right back to ticking over with anxiety.
I was startled when a new female voice suddenly chirped in from my left. "Hi! You're Arthur, right?" A young lady with blonde hair (much more vibrantly gold than my 'might as well be dishcloth beige' blonde.) tied back in a simple ponytail that went down past her shoulders. She was wearing blue coloured scrubs that fit her far more tightly then was probably practical for medical equipment. Only in America could a woman make medical attire look like a minidress. She was short but very shapely, with a figure that could be politely described as 'curvaceous'. Hourglass hips and what at a glance was at least a D-cup. And a very well rounded D.... I realised I was staring and swiftly averted my gaze to her face, where fortunately she was focusing on a clipboard.
She looked up and flashed a megawatt smile at me, and said "Nice to meet you! I'm Becky! I'm a nurse here." She offered a hand and I shook it, murmuring a "Orright hows it going", embarrassed by the very physical effect such a sexy woman being in close proximity was having on me. For god's sake, what are you, thirteen? A glance at a woman shouldn't be enough to make you hot and bothered.
She let out a delightful little laugh. "Orright? Ooh I love your accent! Where are you from, sweetie?" She pulled the cubicle's curtain closed, giving us privacy. I muttered about being North of London, and she rattled off a few perfunctory questions in that same, overtly cheerful tone. She eventually brought the clipboard back up and looked it over. "Well, Dr Myers says most of the tests are done, it'll take a few days for the bloodwork to come back, but there's only one thing left." She raised her beaming face to me again. "A sperm sample!"
I stared at her. "I'm sorry?"
She nodded at me. "Yessir, a sperm sample."
I felt my breath hitch in my throat. "Is that... really necessary? I mean I've apparently lost a huge chunk of time and memory, what does my sperm have to do with that?"
She seemed nonplussed by my reluctance. "Well there are some rare cases when certain chemicals, drugs or stimulants can leave the body very rapidly. There's a local Party Drug called 'Orpheus' that people have been having trouble with."
I frowned. I knew myself well enough to know that I had and never would risk taking drugs with all the medication I had to take regularly. "I don't think I would have taken anything like that."
She shrugged. "Well since we don't know exactly what's wrong with you, we have to check everything. And an adverse reaction to carcinogens might explain your mental symptoms."
I still thought it was unlikely, but took her point. "Okay, fair enough, but what does that have to do with a sperm sample?"
"Well most drugs - if you took any of course - will show up in blood or urine we took, but Orpheus is metabolised extremely rapidly - the only place it can be reliably detected after 48 hours is in seminal fluid."
That sounded very unlikely to me, but I wasn't a chemist and spent most of my time in the Hospital working in the records room, my actual medical knowledge was mostly limited to my own condition. I decided to take her at her word.