In The Beginning
Xavier Alma stretched his arms and yawned, trying to keep his eyes open after his night shift.
"Xavier, dear, try not to be too disrespectful. We're in church." His mother reached up to grab his outstretched arm and lowered it by his side. He chuckled.
"Sorry your son's such a hard worker, mom. Hope God will give me a pass on this one," he retorted in an acted monotone. His mother gave him a stern look, but he swore he saw the corner of her lip smirk for a second.
"Hey, look it's the Jacksons, why don't you say hi before mass starts, mom," Xavier said, pointing at an elderly couple who were coming from the other end of the long pew. His mother pointed a finger back silently at him, warning him against some imagined mischief, before going to meet and greet the Jacksons.
Xavier sat down and squirmed a bit, looking up towards the altar. He felt uncomfortable sitting in the church. He hadn't been in since Christmas, not to mention his strengthening agnosticism. An uncomfortable pressure filled his back as he watched people silently pray before mass. He had lost most faith years ago. He wanted to point out all the things that made him stray away from the church to all these other people and run out. But he had to behave today. He promised his mom he would come, even after work. After all, it was the anniversary of his dad's death. He would pretend today, as he did three other days of the year.
His eyes felt heavy as he still hadn't slept. Voices started ringing in his head as the events of the past shift repeated in his mind. He could hear the urgency, the chaotic beeping of machines as his dreams swam and played back the most significant moment of his night.
"What the heck happened while I was eating?" Xavier muttered with a calm heat as he flipped his patient, Mr. Blake back on the CPR board.
"Focus, Xavier. He's your patient, let's review to see if we can get him back. Prep epi," Dr. Takahashi, or Kana as he usually called her, instructed. He heard a slight crack as his friend Anthony gave the first push of lifegiving CPR. Xavier took a quick look over at Mrs. Blake who was sobbing in the corner of the room, her tiny eighty year old frame shaking in her granddaughter's arms as they watched two hundred pound and six foot tall Anthony mashed on Mr. Blake's chest.
"Taylor, can you explain what's going on to them while wet try to get him back?" he asked his friend who immediately went to comfort and explain the ongoings to the family. "Uh, we got Mr. Blake, COPD exacerbation, came to us with ARDS and acidosis. Had him vented, you and I discussed about upping the pressures since he wasn't ventilating well
You ordered. Had RT up it. Maybe, popped lung?"
Kana came over as someone yelled out a rhythm on the monitor when they paused to check. Xavier looked over Anthony's shoulder and saw his trachea was slightly deviated, giving merit to his suspicions. "Get the epi ready. Someone get an ABG and someone else get me a chest tube kit and -"
"Xavier!" His mother shook him awake as the music for the processional began to play.
A voice came over the sound system of the church, "Welcome everyone to this 6th Sunday in ordinary time. Today's mass will be celebrated by Father Kent as well as a visiting priest from The Order of the Consecrated Blood, Father Santiago. Please open your hymnals to page three three six 'I danced in the morning'."
Xavier stood up, opened the hymnal, and looked around at the congregation. Most people were focused on singing along with the processional. His eyes wandered towards two figures who stood at a pew to his right. One was a young black man with a completely shaved head in monk's robes who looked about his age, and the other a woman in a full nun's habit. The woman was striking, towering over her companion. Her emerald green eyes almost shone, making the flawless pale skin of her face sparkle. Xavier gulped hard as he noticed how closely the tunic of her habit clung to her body's curves hidden beneath. He wondered how she looked without the outfit, if her curves would look more impressive or if imagining them was what was adding to his fixation. He felt a tingle crawl down his body before he shook his head, letting himself zone out again.
"You really need to get laid man," he remembered Anthony saying just this morning after their failed attempt at resuscitating Mr. Blake. His friend leaned down and slung an arm around Xavier's shoulder as they walked out of the hospital. "Bad string of bad patients for all three of us this week. Blow off some steam by getting a blow you know?"
"What comforting words in this my time of distress," Xavier sarcastically replied, chuckling a bit.
"Maybe just an outing," his friend Taylor on his other side added as she tried to adjust her ponytail. "And he's not wrong, getting some action would help your mood."
"You offering?" Xavier calmly retorted.
"Ayyyyoooo, that's my boy!"
Taylor rolled her eyes at the two of them. Xavier knew he's not really the type she goes for. She was more into guys like Anthony, especially since Anthony had confessed to him that they actually fucked on occasion. Anthony was a handsome dude between his height, his thick build, and as he liked to call it "his beautiful baby face and gorgeous mop of hair".
Taylor was his friend but also someone he wouldn't say no to if he had a shot. Though quite short, she was lithe and muscular from all her working out. While she didn't have the biggest curves, they were present enough to complement her frame and make Xavier's eyes wander and ogle at occasion. Especially due to her habit of not wearing an undershirt with her v-necked scrubs. Her cleavage was always in view to anyone who stood close to her.
"Actually go out with us, and maybe when I'm drunk enough, I'll let you cop a feel." She winked one of her deep brown eyes and laughed. Xavier knew he was being teased, but it was still a pleasant possibility to entertain.
"I'll think about it." Xavier replied as he pulled the hairband out of his own ponytail and shook out his slightly ratted black hair.
He jolted out of his daydream just as the priest finished the opening words to the mass and was halfway through with some announcements. Father Kent was an enthusiastic man, though getting up in years. His vigor and excitement about the church and God had kept Xavier had helped fuel his own childhood zeal for the church. Though he didn't hold those same feelings any longer, Father Kent's charisma at least helped keep the scarce times he returned to the church entertaining and less uncomfortable.
"And again, please just be kind and helpful as Father Santiago, Brother Simon, and Sister Ariel as they perform their charitable duties during their mission for The Order of the Consecrated Blood."
Next to Father Kent, the tall middle aged priest named Father Santiago bowed, his head nearly shaven with the remains of graying black hair on his golden brown skin. His vestments, always wide on most priests, seemed too tight and small for his body. Xavier thought he looked more bouncer than priest, but he knew anyone could join the priesthood if they were devoted enough, as he learned on a forced tour of a seminary that his mom had arranged for him once.
The two figures Xavier had noticed earlier also bowed as some of the attention had turned to them. When the attractive nun came up from her bow, she looked around the congregation giving stiff hand waves to everyone. As her attention came to his side of the church, she locked eyes with Xavier. Her green eyes glimmered and swirled different colors for a second. She seemed to look straight into his soul, and he suddenly felt naked, like she could read his thoughts and daydreams. Xavier flushed and tore his eyes away from hers. He couldn't understand what happened or what he thought he saw. He gave a tentative glance back to the nun, who had faced forward and simply recited along to the mass. He scoffed and lectured himself for his wandering eyes and fantasies.
What followed of the mass was a blur. His mind wandered from a combination of discomfort, boredom, and tiredness. He broke his haze for a moment when he heard his Dad's name as part of the offering of prayers. His hand instinctively reached out to his mother, feeling her shoulder quiver slightly as she soundlessly continued in prayer. Ten years and his mom could still choke up when reminded of his father's death. Even he could still feel a lump in his chest as the priest moved past his father's name in offering, listing all the other concerns and problems that the church wanted to offer up. He stepped closer to his mom and brought her close to a hug as her hand reached out to hold his, sharing their burden. He tried harder to participate in the mass for his mother's sake. Soon, the mass ended, the procession exited, and the crowd followed, beginning to mingle with each other.
He told his mom a lie about peeking around the grounds in order to catch a trip down memory lane before slinking out of the building to avoid socializing. He spent a lot of emotional energy on his patients, he didn't have much to spare for anyone he thought unimportant. He slipped through the people who were quickly leaving before stopping to see Sister Ariel sitting on the branch of a large tree next to the parking lot.
Despite his low energy, he found himself thoroughly fascinated as he looked up at her, sitting on one of the branches of the old tree next to the parking lot. She quietly observed the people walking out, but strangely no one seemed to notice her. She had removed her coif and veil, lustrous blonde hair falling in luscious waves to her chest. He stared dumbly for a moment at her, taking in her gorgeous features, before he mustered the courage to step towards tree. "What are you doing up there, Sister?"
She paused her vigil to turn to him. Again their eyes met, before she turned away. "Watching people. It's a habit."
Xavier held himself back from making a bad joke asking if she had any other habits besides her two. "Anything interesting?"
