"Fighting with your roommate, eh?" Harold Ethelbald Senior said, arching his iron-grey brows as he studied the sheet of parchment.
"Is that all it says?" Harry reached, but his grandfather whisked the sheet away with a quickness that belied his age.
"What else might it say?"
"Nothing about ... girls?"
"You had girls in your room?"
"Let me see that! Come on, Grandfather, please!"
This time the older man relented, and Harry read over what the Headmaster had written. No mention of Sherla or Loresa or the reason that he and Cray had managed to turn their entire fourth-floor suite into a shambles and land themselves in the campus infirmary.
"That ratty old whoreson," Harry grumbled. "Wasn't about to get Cray in any more trouble."
"Why don't you tell me what really happened?" The steel in Harold Senior's eyes made it not really a request.
"Are you going to tell Grandmother?"
"Pfffff, boy! Do you think I'll need to? This nonsense --" he thwacked the parchment with a limber finger, "-- might go in your records, but you can bet your backside that she'll have even more details than you give to me, all that before we get home."
"But if this is the official report," Harry said, "then I only earned ten demerits."
"Only, he says."
"Rather than the fifteen it would have been for having a girl in the room. Which means I won't get expelled from school."
"The way you're carrying on, my boy, it looks to me like you're trying for it!"
Harry chewed the ball of his thumb. "Not intentionally ..."
"No, but you've got a self-destructive streak in you." He snorted. "Must be one of those things that skips a generation; your father's as straight an arrow as they come. Which means your sons will be too, but you'd better watch out for your grandsons!"
"But could you blame me? I have never liked it here. Look at me, Grandfather. You know I'm not Academy material. I'll never sit on the Council like they want. Diana's got the talent, so why do they keep after me?"
"Maybe you should ask them."
"I have," he said glumly. "I don't even think they know. But if they let me out of their sight for a single minute, they think I'll wind up the most notorious scoundrel in all of Andur."
"That you'll take after me, in other words," the old man laughed. "Chin up, boy. You'll have to eat a plateful of grief for today's escapades, but like you said, you didn't get expelled. So you haven't thoroughly disgraced the family. They won't be too hard on you. Besides, you look like you've been run over by an ale wagon, so they might even take pity on you."
Harry just looked at him, knowing full well that his grandmother didn't take pity on a living thing. She didn't go out of her way to kick starving orphans, but by now they knew enough to scramble out of her path when they saw her coming.
"How's the other fellow look?" Harold Senior asked. "Has he got a shiner to match yours?"
"Two," Harry said proudly. "Cray may be fast on the grassball field, but his idea of a punch is a roundhouse that makes the air whistle. All I had to do was step aside and he'd pull himself halfway around in a circle. Then I'd pop him. He called them 'sissy punches,' until I broke his nose."
"That's my boy!" he cheered, then hushed as the school nurse -- a dour old drayhorse whose lumpy potato figure and gargoyle face had instantly squashed any budding daydreams Harry might have harbored about attentive bedside care -- scowled menacingly at him. "Now, then, how'd you get into it with him anyway?"
Harry sighed and 'fessed up, doing his best to make it sound like what it appeared to be: Cray's jilted girlfriend seeking to get back at him by throwing herself at his all-too- human roommate. He didn't go into detail, either about precisely what Cray walked in on or how he had manipu -- no, encouraged, subtly encouraged, that was a better term -- Sherla into anything.
And he'd been right; in the end, their encounter had been more than worth it. He'd soon forget the crunch of Cray's fist when his one lucky blow had connected, but the memory of her mouth would follow him the rest of his days.
"Damn me, but I wish I were young again," his grandfather chuckled. "Not that I'd trade my life with my family for anything, you understand."
Harry didn't understand; the man sitting before him had been married to Charlotte Ethelbald (nee Sinclair) for better than fifty years, and there were probably men condemned to a life sentence in the deepest prison pit in Pandathaway who, given a full explanation and a chance to meet the lady in question, wouldn't trade with him.
"How come you came instead of Grandmother?" he asked.
"I was home when the message got there." Harold Senior shrugged. "Down in my workshop, you know. She was off at one of those charity suppers, to raise money for something or another. Involved with a lot of causes, is your grandma. Thought I'd better take care of this myself, because if they pulled her away from it or your father away from his enchantings, you'd be in even hotter water than you already are."
"Thanks, Grandfather."
"But you tell them that I scolded you so fierce that you think you're going to have blisters, have you got that? Probably won't make them be any easier on you, but miracles happen now and again."
"He can go now," the nurse informed Harold Senior. "Poultices and some willowbark are in this bag; here's a list of local chemists, herbalists, and alchemists if he needs anything stronger."
"What, no healing spells?"
She sniffed. "Our policy is to reserve magical healing for serious injuries."
"In other words," Harry said, "they think I deserve it and they're going to let me suffer. I bet Cray's not getting a bagful of poultices and being showed the door. Big game this tenthday, after all."
The nurse chilled him with a look, then turned to his grandfather. "If you wish to pursue further treatment on your own, that's up to you."
"Might just," Harold Senior said. "Come along, boy. You didn't get expelled but you did earn yourself a three-day suspension, so that means the semester's over."
"What?" Harry grabbed the parchment again, read the rest, and with a monumental effort of will was able to avoid cursing his heart out. When that battle passed, he shook his head wearily (the motion causing a hitherto unsuspected herd of tiny pains to stampede over him) and sighed. "Well, I guess I don't have to worry about finishing that paper."
His grandfather eyed him craftily. "Think so?"
He thought about it and grudgingly admitted, "No. Suspended or not, they'll want me to hand in all my assignments."
Harold Senior slapped his own knees and stood up. "Come on, then. Let's get your things together and see you home."
* * * * *
The next two weeks seemed stretched out before Harry like a prisoner on a torture rack.
He began the holiday squashed into a coach with his mother and sister, aunt and uncle, and one of their sons (the other son, Aeric, being the youngest, had to ride up with the driver).
Squashed into a coach, his cousin Chas' elbow digging into his ribs, the swaying motion making his lunch churn gruesomely in his stomach, sweltering despite the cooling spell the driver had cast.