I thought I was ready when the time to be ready arrived. I wasn't. I was more ready than most people, but still not ready for what happened.
To this day, I don't know why it happened and apparently there's nobody left to explain it. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. What was is probably gone for a long, long time, and people like us have to pick up the pieces and get on with trying to live. I'm writing all this down in hopes that if and when things do get back to normal a lot of people will read it and do what all people should have done before.
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I started getting ready as more of a hobby than actually preparing for when "the shit hits the fan", or "SHTF" as the survivalists called it. There were many scenarios that would cause SHTF, none of which I thought would ever happen. The leading scenarios were about the world, or at least the US, going from normal to crisis to lawlessness in a matter of weeks or even days in some cases. You had your "the world economy is going to collapse" people, your "there will be another civil war" people, and your "another country will bomb and then invade the US" people.
I tended to discount these for what, to me at least, were logical reasons.
While the economy had gone belly up at least a couple times, the world didn't descend into chaos. Even though in at least some cases it took years to do so, governments managed to work through the depression and come out healthy.
Another American civil war would just be stupid. Civil wars have never worked out well. The group with the most resources always wins, and they usually aren't very nice to the losers. After most modern civil wars, the leaders on the losing side end up being executed for treason or some other offense. Why would any sane person even think about starting a civil war unless they were absolutely confident they could win?
While I supposed it was possible that some other country could launch nukes at the US, the result would be their own destruction as well. It was also possible some country could load up a million or so soldiers and ship them across the Pacific or the Atlantic with the intention of attacking the big cities on the East or West coast, but it's very probable they wouldn't make it. That many ships or planes would be spotted long before they posed any real danger and the US Air Force and Navy would end the threat before it got started.
Right behind these were "artificial intelligence will take over and eliminate the human race" and a global pandemic that kills most of the human population of the world.
While these made some decent novels and movies, they weren't all that realistic. I mean, artificial intelligence isn't really all that smart. AI can rapidly review data from a multitude of sources, develop conclusions from that data based upon its programmed algorithms, and then take or recommend actions based upon those conclusions and again, its programmed algorithms. It can further examine those actions and determine if they were correct and modify its logical process as needed.
At the time it happened, I was a civilian electro-mechanical engineer working on B1B flight simulators at Ellsworth AFB and my job required a thorough and current knowledge of that sort of thing because I was writing it into my machine control programs. Everything I'd read told me even the best artificial intelligence is really good at adapting its programming to different conditions and reporting any conclusions in appropriate language, but in reality is maybe actually as smart as a five-year old. Though the data set used can be enormous, any autonomous decisions are made just as a five-year old would make them -- by trial and error.
A self-driving car can learn where it is and where it needs to go, but it you want to transfer its "brain" to an aircraft or a robot, that requires a software change and a human has to do that. Artificial Intelligence can read most current languages spoken in the world and can be taught the phonetics to speak them correctly. It can also be taught to generate art, prose and poetry when given appropriate parameters. It can't just one day decide to become a best selling author or poet and start writing, or begin painting scenes that it visualizes on its own. It needs a human to ask it to do something or to tell it what to do. Yes, there can be some unforeseen consequences, but when all else fails, a human can always "pull the plug" and stop the computer.
A global pandemic was possible, but even in the worst pandemics like the plague and Spanish Flu, enough people survived to keep society going. Yes, the disease slowed civilization down, but civilization didn't die.
There were several other causes like natural disasters such as tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, blizzards and forest fires that could likely happen and cause significant stress on society. The more I thought about those causes, the more sense it made to do some preparation. It wouldn't hurt and if something did happen, I'd be prepared.
It was also a way to get back to quasi-reality from my job. Back then, I spent all my work days immersed in tuning the interactions between computer code and hydraulic servo valves and the response time of hydraulic systems, and I needed something a lot less complex to decompress on the weekends.
I started reading about what I would need and decided my best bet was to have a month's supply of food in my apartment and a shotgun for self-defense. The extra food was easily affordable since I wasn't married, lived in a two-room apartment, and worked too many hours to actually spend much of my income on anything else. I still had the single-shot shotgun I got as a kid so I could hunt rabbits, squirrels and pheasants on my dad's farm. I still did that when I had the time.
I stored a month's supply of canned and dried food in my bedroom and bought three boxes of buckshot to go with the box of bird shot I already had. I was all set... until I read some more and watched some videos.
One article I read asked the question, "What will you do if you're away from home when the shit hits the fan?" The answer was something called a "get-home bag" and was a small backpack filled with enough to get me from my office to home if there was trouble in the city or on the road.
I bought a small backpack and stuffed it with protein bars, six bottles of water, and a first-aid kit. Also in that backpack was a coffee can with a candle and a disposable lighter, but I'd always had those in my car. If you're stuck alongside the road in a heavy snow like we sometimes get during the South Dakota winters, it's nice to have a heat source so you don't freeze to death before the wrecker gets there. I was all set...until I read some more and watched more videos.