It was a peaceful day in Polis City, and Gravity Man was eager to get home. He wasn't dressed as Gravity Man at the moment, of course. He was in his secret identity's clothes, to better blend in with the citizens. He'd traded his super suit for black cargo shorts and a plain green polo shirt, with matching flip-flops. He was supposed to be going by his civilian name, "Colin" but in Gravity Man's mind he always referred to himself as Gravity Man.
Anyhow, it was a beautiful sunny day and Gravity Man was eager to get home and cook the pasta he'd just bought. Super heroics didn't pay like they used to, and he hadn't realized he was out of pasta until well past noon. Lunchtime was rapidly slipping away, so he was moving as fast as his flip-flops would let him go. Unfortunately, he only made it a few blocks away from the supermarket when the villain attacked.
He was thrown clear through the wall of a neighboring store, demolishing the brick wall in a manner that would pulverize the bones of normal humans. Luckily, Gravity Man's body was a little tougher, as most people in "the industry" needed to be. Supervillains rarely pulled their punches, after all.
"Ooh, I think I broke my spleen" Gravity Man moaned, holding his side. Being a little tougher didn't do much to stop it from hurting as much. "Did anyone get the license plate of the car that hit me?" When no one answered, he looked up from the rubble. Everyone who'd been in the store had fled, and throngs of people were running down the street in the same direction. Gravity Man reluctantly dragged himself up, one hand still clutching his plastic bag of pasta, and peered through the hole he'd made in the wall.
"Tremble!" A woman's voice shouted, reverberating off the now empty street. She was tall, with a shaggy mane of red hair that tumbled to her shoulders. She wore a skintight latex bodysuit, accentuated with random pieces leather armor. Oh, and she was holding a massive blaster, easily half as big as she was. "Cower before me! None can stand the power of Cosmic Fay!" She lifted the cannon and pulled the trigger, sending a searing green beam into a local barber shop. Even across the street, the explosion nearly knocked Gravity Man off his feet. He looked down in dismay as he noticed his precious pasta was ruined. The hard noodles were nothing more than crumbs. He choked back a sob.
It was clear what Gravity Man had to do. The citizens had all fled and the police would take a long time to arrive when supervillains were involved. There was no one else to save the day. Gravity Man decided then and there: he needed to get changed.
***
"Halt, villain!" Gravity Man shouted from across the road. " I am Grav- ohmygod!" He leapt to one side as a green beam sizzled the air beside him. As he fell, he scuffed the sleeves of his orange bathrobe, and one of his flip flops nearly fell off. As it turned out, there weren't many super costumes available in a deserted street. He'd settled for a bathrobe, the only clothing in his "super colors" and a strip of fabric he'd cut eyeholes into. The flip-flops and shorts completed the look and frankly, he thought he did pretty well with what he had on hand.
Gravity Man continued leaping and dodging, eventually taking refuge in a ruined ice cream parlor. Harassing a villain with a gun from so far away probably wasn't the smartest way to fight crime. He needed to get closer.
Swiftly, he maneuvered from shop to shop, made slightly easier by the gaping holes Cosmic Fay's blaster had left in them, until he was mere feet away from the redheaded villain. He crouched beside some rubble and waited for her to pass by. Once he was certain he was out of her range of vision, he tossed a piece of rubble across the street.
Cosmic Fay whipped around and fired, laying waste to the piece of rubble and the street surrounding the rubble. Gravity Man took advantage of her distraction and charged. He wasn't big by any means, but he knew how to use leverage and momentum to knock down the woman, sending her cannon skidding across the asphalt. Taken by surprise, Cosmic Fay was bowled over, and Gravity Man tossed both through one of the only walls left standing.
"Who dares assault me?" Cosmic Fay hissed as she picked herself up from the ground.
"I
tried
telling you, I'm Gravity Man!" He puffed his chest out.
"A superhero? In a bathrobe?" Cosmic Fay sneered. "Do you even have powers?" Up close, Gravity Man could see how the latex clung to her body, revealing both toned muscles and sizable curves.
"Uh," he peeled his eyes from her chest to stare at her face. Surprisingly, when it wasn't contorted into a snarl, her face was distractingly pretty. "I... make things heavier?" That pretty bow of a mouth quirked into a sneer.
"That's it? This is who they send to challenge me?"
"I just wanted pasta." Gravity Man mumbled.
