Life can certainly be a lot of fun for men and women everywhere if they allow inhibitions to drop. American men and women especially. I feel bad for those people sometimes. They're at war with each other and the rest of the world instead of celebrating peace and love like they're supposed to. No wonder Americans have more crime than any other place on the planet. These people aren't getting enough of the right kind of action!
It's gotten real bad. A guy can't make a compliment to a female co-worker without her screaming harassment. A man can't look at another man too long without risk getting hit in the face because the other man is afraid he might be gay and have some sordid intentions. What a world! The land of the free is also the home of the most sexually repressed people on the planet.
That's okay, though. My name is Eros and I've come to help out these people. For those of you who don't know me, I am the Greek god of Love and Lust. I am the son of Ares, god of War and Aphrodite, goddess of Love. My grandfather is Zeus, the Bearer of Lightning and Lord of Mount Olympus. A long time ago, the gods of Ancient Greece decided to leave the planet Earth and move elsewhere. They were getting bored. Now, thousands of years later, the humans have forgotten about us and they've made a mess of things. The other gods have given up on mankind. They've abandoned the humans to their own fate. There are many gods out there who wish the humans harm. Hades, god of the Underworld is one of them. He's a misanthrope of the worst caliber. His assistant Thanatos, the god of Death is another misanthrope. Persephone, the lovely goddess Hades married was killed a long time ago by a Titan and since that day, Hades has been filled with hatred.
Other gods who wish the humans harm are Ares, god of War and Artemis, the goddess of Vengeance. Those two have hated each other for eons and they've been fighting a war against one another for eternity. Artemis hates men in general. She's a misandrist. What she loves doing is turning women against men. Ever see a man-hating girl around your college campus? Odds are, she was inspired by one of Artemis' lackeys. Artemis has these lackeys working for her. They're called Succubi. Succubi are female demons. Unlike the Succubi of legend, they're not nymphomaniacs interested in seducing random men in their sleep. Succubi drive men to the brink of despair and madness. They've destroyed the lives of countless men over the eons. The Succubi answer only to Artemis. If Artemis has her way, all men living on the planet will perish and the women will inherit the earth. That's her idea of Utopia. Fortunately for men everywhere, Ares opposes her. The god of War constantly battles the schemes of Artemis. Sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses. He is very strong and wields tremendous power but the forces of Artemis are far more numerous. In the twenty first century, with the advent of the women's movement, a lot of women learned to hate men. Such attitudes were encouraged by feminists worldwide, particularly Americans. These days, the Justice System of America was very much gender-biased...against men. Men get screwed in divorce cases. Men end up in jail due to false allegations of lord knows what made by vindictive women. There are fewer and fewer male students graduating from high schools and colleges. America is turning into a female-dominated society and let me tell you, hate-filled women are a lot worse than their male counterparts can ever be.
The mortal agents of Ares are the many men and few women of the Men's rights movement, which is spread all over the world. These brave people try to spread awareness of men's issues but the media, in the hands of misandrists, refuses to pay them heed. A lot of American men have learned to accept that their gender is constantly harassed and ridiculed on television, at work and everywhere else. Male values are ridiculed. Yes indeed, men are in trouble. America is the worst place of all for men. Unfortunately, most American men don't seem to know this or care. They refuse to unite against misandry and instead continue to bury their heads in the sand. Unfortunately for them, pretending a problem isn't there won't make it go away. Ares and his people are brave but they're fighting a losing battle. It would take a miracle to save them.
Fortunately, I am very familiar with miracles and I've caused quite a few. My father Ares is the macho God of War. He's very strong and powerful but not very shrewd or subtle. Fortunately, I am different. My mother Aphrodite was a very shrewd lady and she taught me well. My uncle Hermes, the god of Thieves taught me how to be crafty. My aunt Athena, goddess of Wisdom and War taught me how to be one tough son of a gun when I had to be. Most gods don't take me too seriously. I am Eros, the openly bisexual God of Love. I am the one who sleeps with both men and women and doesn't hide his passions from anyone. I am the original liberal, after all. I have a plan to save humanity from itself. I am going to end the Battle of the Sexes by getting men and women to stop being enemies and instead become lovers and friends.
This task is easier said than done. I flew down to Earth and took a look around the world of man. I saw many wonders and horrors. I looked at the humans. What I saw amazed me. I saw a magnificent story unfold. The story of a young man named Sean Leander who was one of his high school wrestling team's top athletes. Sean was a young man who came from a poor family. He was a nice guy and a good student. He was very determined to succeed. At the age of eighteen came one of the toughest challenges of his life. Sean Leander had to face an eighteen-year-old female wrestler named Doris Richards. Doris Richards was the only female wrestler on her high school's all-male wrestling squad. She was also one of the best athletes at her school. Doris Richards made a name for herself by defeating most of her opponents, usually men but sometimes women, during her final wrestling season in high school. They were fated to face each other at the state wrestling championships that year.
In an ideal world, those two could have been friends. I think most sports fans would agree that there should be separate leagues for male and female athletes. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way sometimes. Sean Leander and Doris Richards were destined to face each other. Both were outstanding athletes, honor roll students and also decent young people. Both carried the hopes of their schools on their young shoulders. Doris was by far the most popular. Young women across the country knew her name and saw her as their hero. Sean Leander was known to be a good wrestler but he wasn't widely famous, hadn't been on television and magazines and he was basically a simple soul. He loved wrestling and excelled at it. He saw himself as a regular guy. Doris Richards saw herself as a hero for women everywhere and she loved beating her male opponents. She was fiercely determined to win and was feared throughout the country.
The final match was watched by millions of people across the country. It was also watched by the god Ares and his enemy, the goddess Artemis. Of course, I watched it too. Sean Leander went against Doris Richards. Both were strong but she was faster and more agile. He had more technique and that's how he defeated her. It wasn't easy but he won. Millions of women openly voiced their disappointment. They wanted the girl wrestler to win. Millions of men silently rejoiced. Deep inside, men usually side with men and no man wants to lose to a woman in any contest.
