God Is a Slut

A Date with the Devil

PART ONE: THE WRIGGLING WRANGLER

LUCIFER

"So..." Rachel said, sitting across the table from me at the coffee shop patio, "you, Lucifer Beelzebub Satan, are in love with me, Rachel Christine Johnson."

"Yeah," I sighed as I stirred my coffee, "I am."

"How..." Rachel said as she searched the brimstone sky, hoping to find the words written there, "how did that happen?"

"A series of chemical reactions in the brain that form endorphins based off compatible immune systems," I replied through a wry smile, "or an immortal goddess finally found someone who could match her; one of the two."

"So, hear me out for a second," Rachel said, raising her hands like she was going to say something preposterous, "what if all these tests you and God have been doing, are actually some kind of fucked-up dating service for you?"

"That's an interesting thought," I mused as I placed a cigarette between my lips and offered one to Rachel, "I always thought we were doing it because we were bored, and needed an excuse to fuck."

"You don't believe in some form of destiny?" Rachel asked as she accepted the cigarette and lit it between her full pouting lips.

"Oh, I believe in destiny." I laughed as I blew out a cloud of smoke, "I give morons down on earth destinies all the time. Do I believe God and I subconsciously worked out a dating service for myself? No. You, Rachel, are what we call a 'happy accident.'"

"Jesus beat you," Rachel said after blowing her own cloud, "he matched you test for test, and he won, but you don't love him; quite the opposite, actually."

"Jesus is a douchebag," I laughed, "and I don't go for those types."

"Is it because he's a man?"

"In case you haven't noticed," I said as I inhaled the sweet burn of tobacco, "I like penis. No, when you get to be as old as me, (which is forever), you stop seeing gender, and look more toward the... inner part of a person."

"Their soul." Rachel replied. I nodded.

"And ever since you came down here seven days ago, I've been increasingly drawn to you. I don't know how to say it, because I've never felt it before, but I got the feeling of... sameness with you; like we're kindred spirits."

"I was a holy pious bitch." Rachel laughed, "I don't know what you saw in me then."

"Same thing I see in you now;" I replied, "strength, defiance, resolve, an insatiable sexual appetite, a fucked-up sense of humor; it was all there the moment I laid eyes on you. You didn't know it then, but I could see it. Maybe I loved you the moment I saw you, maybe it was after your bout with Caitlyn; I don't know."

"But why keep me at an arm's length?" Rachel asked as she pushed out her cigarette and leaned forward, "If you liked what you saw, why keep up the façade? God pretended not to be a whore, and now our relationship is strained. You posed yourself as nothing more than a challenger, and that's how I see you. That, and a fuck-buddy."

"Well..." I said, leaning back to think, "I guess... I guess I was scared to be open with you. In my own way, these tests I was giving you was my way of trying to please you, to show you the gifts I could provide. Courting is not something I've done in a serious sense. Seduction, sure, I'm a master at that, but romance? I'm a beginner."

"I've never had a real romance either," Rachel frowned, "that fling with my brother, I thought that was love, but it was you pulling the strings."

"Sorry about that." I said, lowering my head slightly.

"Don't worry about it." Rachel waved a dismissive hand, "It was puppy-love; Brian and I could never have been a thing."

"So," I said as I sipped from my cup of coffee, "we've got a whole day before the final test, what do you want to do?"

"Shit, I don't know. You're the queen of hell; what's fun down here?"

"Everything." I smiled, "This place is Vegas on steroids and a cocaine enema. Think of anything, literally anything, and we can do it."

"Cocaine..." Rachel smiled, "I've never done any kind of drug before."

"Boom," I said, and a mountain of cocaine the size of Everest appeared in the distance, "cocaine."

"Is coke the best drug?" Rachel asked, her eyes finally showing some excitement, "You know... for partying?"

"Well, there's ludes," I said, and a pill popped in front of each of us, "those are pretty fun; if by party, you mean drug-fueled sex."

"I do," Rachel smiled wickedly, "but our test isn't until tonight, so we'll need other people to fuck."

"People..." I scoffed, "Rachel, we're in hell; even the hottest human in this place is bottom of the rung. Do you watch hentai?"

"What's hentai?"

"Never mind." I said with a dismissive wave of my own, "How do you feel about tentacles?"

"Like, octopus tentacles?" Rachel asked, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

"Hey now," I smirked as I put the lude on my tongue, "don't knock it till you try it."

"Fine," Rachel said as she put the pill in her mouth, "but I don't think I'll like it."

RACHEL

The ludes kicked in once we got in the limo parked out front. I was hit with a wave of drowsiness that almost sent me sprawling on the sidewalk, but Lucy touched a forefinger to my temple, and the sensation passed. What followed, was the feeling that must've made this drug popular. Every muscle in my body succumbed to a euphoric lassitude, most notably, the inner tension of my pussy and rectum. I was sunk into a state of lustful delirium, and struggled to maintain my composure as I stepped through the car door.

We sat awkwardly in the back if the limo, sipping cocktails and exchanging glances as the drug began to take hold of our bodies. Lucy's eyes shifted to me, and then she scooted an inch closer. My eyes shifted up to her, and I scooted two inches closer. She locked eyes with me; her golden irises disappearing with her dilating pupils, her lush black lips curled in a slight smile, her pointed red nose crinkled with a suggestive smirk. She scooted a little closer, her red breasts bouncing in the black corset that barely contained them, her thick crimson ass deforming against the leather of the seat. I scooted a few more inches closer, unable to contain a giggle. My white dress hiked up just a little bit, exposing the upper portion of my full pale thigh. I raised an eyebrow at Lucy, and let my dress fall further up my lifted leg until the entire limb was exposed. She scooted even closer, her black thong wedging into her delicious crack, her fishnet stockings straining against the seat, forcing the flesh of her supple thighs to protrude from the lacing. Her red horns gleamed with her eyes as the shadows gave way to passing sunlight. I scooted just a little more, and we locked eyes, seeing which one of us would break first. I burst out in a fit of laughter, and we were all over each other in an instant, skin on skin, lips on lips.

"Just a finger... lover!" I giggled as I accidentally spilled my drink all over Lucy's crimson breasts, "Whoops, I guess I'll have to clean that up somehow!"

"Hold on, Rachel!" Lucy cackled gleefully as I pulled down her corset and took a beautiful red nipple into my mouth.

"Mmmm, I'm just having a snack, Mommy." I said between sucks, "Maybe I'll travel south for something more nutritious."

"Just," Lucy started before she burst out laughing again, "just suck on it a little bit, no going down on me."

"But whyyyyy?" I asked, my body feeling like jelly, "Can't I just have a little taste?"

"You can have your fill here." Lucy smirked, and the nipple I was nursing from poured sweet liquor into my mouth.

"Mmmm," I laughed between a moan, "that's a cool trick, Lucy, you'll have to show me how you do it."

"Just drink, Sweetie," Lucy moaned as I sucked from her nipple, "and maybe... maybe just one finger."

"Two." I smirked up at her.

"Fine," Lucy conceded, "but only in one hole."

"Which hole do you want?" I asked with a smile, my mouth gently teething Lucy's erect nipple, my middle and forefinger tauntingly tracing the length of her taint, her thong saturated with her desire. "This one?" I asked as my fingers slid over drenched pussy, "or this one?" I asked as my fingers traced the spokes of her anus, the thong pulled tight over the tiny hole.

"My ass!" Lucy gasped, her eyes dilated to near blackness, "Put them in my ass!"

"If you insist." I giggled, pulled her thong to the side, and pushed my fingers passed the resistance of her puckered sphincter. Lucy's eyes widened, her black mouth opened in an oval, her chin tilted. I giggled mischievously as I sucked her tit and twisted my burrowing fingers deeper and deeper, savoring the feeling of her hot smooth sheath hugging my invading digits all the way to the bottom knuckle, gripped by her rim like a fleshy vice. Lucy's brow furrowed, her head falling back as a blissful moan escaped her mouth. I stared into her eyes, sucking the liquor from her nipple, corkscrewing my sodomizing fingers as deep as they'd go into her tight red asshole.

"You know," I smiled playfully, "we already fisted each other, so it's not like adding more fingers would ruin anything for tonight."

"Oh god," Lucy cried, the tendons on her neck standing up as she strained from my added third finger, "just... just put the whole fucking fist in me!"

"As you wish." I smiled, and complied. The fingers that were inside Lucy retreated to the tips. I pinched my hand together and slowly, gradually, pushed all five digits back through her widening rim. Lucy's arms flailed for a moment as she seemed to attempt to levitate from the seat. Her back straightened, her breasts shot forward in a playful bounce, her torso stretched and flexed. I watched in covetous desire as my fist disappeared, knuckle by knuckle, into the stretching gape of Lucy's anus, her rim sucking me in. Her mouth yielded a moan that turned to a cry with each inch, her eyes widening and staring at the ceiling, a vein in her neck pulsing as the pleasurable strain took hold of her. Her warm insides enveloped around me, her vile excretion wetting my invading hand as I slid inch by inch until my wrist was locked by the fleshy fetter of her constricting sphincter.

"Ahhh,

fuck!

" Lucy gasped, finally exhaling for the first time since I started.

"Remember that thing you did to God?" I whispered as her nipple fell from my lips, "That little wave you gave me from inside her?"

"Do you want to wave inside me?" Lucy whispered back, her head tilting forward, her heavy breath breathing into my mouth.

"Yessss," I hissed, "Open yourself to me."

Lucy smiled evilly as her two elegant crimson hands reached between her legs and spread her tight pussy wide. I stared in rapt attention as I began to move my fingers. She squirmed in delight; her hips shifting in a small gyration that seemed to shimmy up her spine and end with a wave of her shoulders. The pink inner flesh of her womanhood bore four protruding bumps. I curved my fingers slowly, watching in fascination as the indentations the glistening membrane moved with their motion. Lucy thrashed and cried out, her legs quivering and her shoulders pinning back. I moved my fingers up and down inside her ass, the indentations in her pink flesh moving with me, sending visible twitches of delight shooting through her insides. Finally, I curled my fingers all the way down, and formed a fist. Lucy moaned an increasing tone of pleasure with each depressing angle of my closing hand. By the time my fingers clenched, she was practically sobbing in delight. I looked up at her pleasure-stricken face, my eyes widening as the power took hold of me.

"Yes." I whispered on her lips, "Yes, come for me."

I wasn't ready for the intensity of Lucy's orgasm. I'd seen her come before, but I'd never actually made her come. Her pelvis shot forward in an involuntary spasm, sending my fist deep into the tightest reaches of her rectum. Her mouth shrieked as her head flung backward, her chest heaving in desperate violent pants. A covetous laugh erupted from my snarling lips, and I rotated my arm. Lucy twisted as though I was controlling her from the inside; her legs pivoting against the floor while her spine warped in the direction of my rotating invasion, her face pressing against the back of the seat, her mouth wide open as she screamed her ecstasy into the upholstery. Her anus twitched in convulsions around me, their tremors intensifying in a crescendo in line with her increasing heartrate, which I could feel pulsating in her tender depths. In a final throe of pleasure, Lucy's back wrenched in an arch, her head pressing against the window, her face staring her shocked climax into my soul, and she sprayed her orgasmic nectar all over my tits, soaking my dress to the skin and showering me. I laughed in absolute glee and caught her stream in my mouth, swallowing, letting it splash my face. Then, giving her a devilish grin, I framed my free hand around her exit, and pulled my fist. She prolapsed with an ecstatic screech, her legs trembling fit to shake the floor. But when I lowered my lips to suck her delicious-looking crimson flower, she stopped me.

"Tonight," she said, pushing herself back in, "tonight, Rachel."

I frowned at her and sucked her ass from each of my fingers, making sure our eyes were locked as I tasted the sweetness of her insides. She licked her lips in invitation, and our mouths met in a passionate embrace. Her reptilian tongue snaked from her, and entwined with my human taster. God, nobody kissed me quite like that. The seduction behind it...

"Lucy," I whispered as I parted from our kiss, "can you eat me out, please?"

"Later," Lucy replied with a coy smile, "later, we can do everything to each other."

"Why can't we just take the test now?"

"Because we're on a date," Lucy smiled, "and fucking on the first date is in poor taste."

"I just fisted your asshole."

"And it was great," Lucy smirked, "but catching a few fingers, even the whole hand, isn't the same as sex."

"This tentacle thing better be worth it," I said with pouting lips, "or our next stop will be the dog kennels."

"I'm not doing that again." Lucy shuddered.

"I thought you loved me?" I teased.

"Don't push it, Honey," Lucy sneered back, "or I'll pull a few favors with your friend upstairs, and we'll add a new bitch to our breeding stock."

"I think she owes me a few more favors than she owes you." I said, climbing onto Lucy's lap to resume my lustful nursing, "Do you think we should let her join us?"

"Do you want her to?" Lucy asked.

"After this tentacle thing," I smiled, "I think we'll take our mutual friend to the Chapel."

"That's cruel." Lucy said with raised eyebrows, "You know she's most definitely watching us right now."

"I know," I giggled, "I'm just giving her a heads-up that she needs to be ready."

"You little sadist." Lucy smirked.

"Takes one, to know one."

GOD

Rachel was right; I was watching them with great interest. I knew she was angry with me, but I didn't think she'd suggest the Chapel. Well, this is what I got for leading her on. I sighed, went to the bathroom, and disrobed in front of the mirror. My tan body was as beautiful as it would be until the end of this universe; full perfect breasts, thick toned thighs, an ass that perched perfectly above my legs and creased in two smiling folds where the two parts met. My blonde hair was curled slightly with the humidity, framing my pristine features with a wavy outline. I opened the nearby drawer and pulled out the two biggest dildos I owned. I bent over in front of the mirror and sighed. Nothing prepares you for the Chapel, but at least I could do a few things to make it easier. Was I excited for it? You bet your ass I was. When Lucy said I was a masochist, she was putting it lightly. This author doesn't have the imagination for the things I'd do for a thrill.

"Hey Anna," I called to Rachel's slave, "I need your help for a while."

Anna Patterson came crawling from the living room, her trim tan body roped in a leather slave outfit. Her petite breasts were crisscrossed with leather strappings, her ass was held taught by the studded bracings that kept her spread open, exposing the bejeweled plug that was always in her asshole. Her temples bore two blue horns, her face bore two blue eyes and her straight platinum hair bore a headband with two dog ears attached. The collar etched with the nametag "Rachel's Bitch" was ever the reminder of her subservience. Was this justified penance for her crimes? The fuck if I know. All I knew is I needed a pair of extra hands, and she volunteered for this whole thing.

"Yes God?" Anna asked in a completely normal voice, her submissive tone gone now that Rachel was. Two days ago, the mortal had been shaken to the bone with the realization that Lucy and I were real, and that we were also friends with the girl she once tormented. Now, Anna regarded me much as she would the mailman.

"Hey Sweetie," I smiled warmly to her, "can you help me with something?"

"Of course." She grinned excitedly, noting my bent over nakedness, and the two toys I had for her to play with.

"Great," I grinned, "I need you to put these all the way inside me, and I need you to make it hurt."

Through my shrieks of delighted agony, my sobs for more, and the smacking of Anna's hand against my thick ass, I watched Rachel and Lucy's date progress, hoping with all my heart that Rachel would fail her test, and fall in love with Lucy. There was no one I loved more in the universe than my sister, and her finding love for the first time filled my heart with glee. I didn't need another messiah; the first one did enough to fuck up earth. I needed another immortal, someone I could take with me when this universe ended, and the next began. Rachel would make a fine goddess.

RACHEL

When we stepped out of the limousine, I was not only high as fuck from the lude that was making my bones feel like jelly, but I was also drunk off my ass from the cocktails, and the contents of Lucy's magical breasts. It seemed we had stopped at a theme park, and my double-vision barely made out the words "The Wriggling Wrangler" written across a neon sign.

"Wa da fack is da riggring ranggrer?" I slurred at Lucy.

"The Wriggling Wrangler," Lucy said as she put a hand to my temple and drained some of the drunkenness from me, "is what we'll be doing now."

"This is the tentacle place?" I inquired as we struggled to ascend the steps, "The 'hat-thai' place?"

"Hentai," Lucy corrected, stumbling over herself, "there's a Kraken-"

"What the fuck?!" I cried in terror.

"What?" Lucy laughed, "You don't want to fuck a piece of Greek mythology? What did you think was in there when I told you about tentacles?"

"A squid, an octopus?" I said, "I figured I'd just sit in a comfy chair, close my eyes, and pretend the L.A. Lakers were running train on me."

"Oh Honey," Lucy laughed as she held the door open for me, "this isn't a suburban mall; this is hell! I have a reputation to live up to!"

I didn't know what kind of mall Lucy thought we had up there, but I supposed she was making a massage-chair joke. Either way, I was walking into a situation I was not prepared for, and it scared and excited the hell out of me.

"You ready?" Lucy asked, eyeing me down as she put her hand on the door knob.

"Yeah," I said, smiling, "let's get weird."

Lucy opened the door, and shit got weird.

"CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE!" A voice boomed in the large theatre room we walked into. The IMAX screen displayed four options: Attack on Olympus, Japanese Prison, Pirate Shipwreck, and Space Invasion.

"What the fuck is this?" I asked as I sat down in the front row of the theatre.

"You choose your scenario," Lucy explained, "and we get teleported to a dimension where we can act it out. Which one suits your fancy?"