"So, like...what's the mad rush, again?" Floy, Princess of the Rustbucket Goblin Tribe asked with a bored sigh. It had been no less than a half hour since she had delivered a session of sloppy, rousing head to her handsome Knight rescuer, and since then, she had been accompanying Sir Swoonmore throughout the dreaded and abandoned lair of the horrible, now deceased Dragon Thrakmal.
Her Knightly pal was smoothing his hands along the cold stone wall, his hazel-gold eyes scanning ever section of the place around them. "We are looking for treasure. All Dragons have a treasure hoard." He turned to her and gave a sardonic smirk, mirroring her quote from their earlier meeting. "Don't you read Fairy Tales?"
Floy rolled her beady red eyes. "Well, DUH, of course Dragons have treasure, but Dude, we just kinda like...you know...had a MOMENT and all that. This is not exactly my idea of basking in the afterglow of orgasm." She sighed and laced her arms around herself, hugging her own curvy figure. "And as for treasure, I think I have the most prized thing this castle has ever had in it, resting comfortably in my belly." She grinned. "You cum like a freaking horse, you know that? You must have been seriously backed up, because that load was like-"
Sir Swoonmore turned to his short, busty ward, the utter freedom in which she expressed herself always a source of entertainment and shock to him. "Thrakmal had a bunch of skeletal thralls that served him. I had to fight through them to get to Thrakmal."
"I know." Floy swooned again, as was her fashion. "I could see the piles of bones all over the castle. Did I tell you how hot that is, by the way? The whole fighting thing?"
If he ever let the Goblin Princess talk without interruption, silence would become extinct, so the goodly Knight proceeded. "Skeletal Thralls, once defeated, reform the very next time the moon rises. It's late, and I really don't want to fight them all again, so I would REALLY like to find this treasure hoard and be out of here before we lose daylight. Hence the, how did you put it? Mad rush?" He shook his head at the expressions he'd already picked up from Floy. Turning to her, he tilted his head. "And...what's a Dude? Is it some kind of monster?"
Princess Floy folded her arms under her majestic rack. "It's a Goblin thing. Anyway, Thrakmal doesn't have a treasure hoard, man, look around you! This place is a dump. If he had a treasure hoard he could afford air conditioning or something. It's frikkin' boiling in here." She let out an exhausted little sigh as she leaned back against the wall. Indeed, the Dragon's lair was a humid place, and while Sir Swoonmore wasn't a fan of the temperature, he was more than enjoying the way the humid air made the pretty Gobliness' skin glisten with slippery, enticing sweat.
"This place isn't exactly stylish..." The Knight said as he carefully examined a few sets of chains that decorated the wall nearest him. His keen eye caught the fact thatamong the rusty and tattered links, one hanging chain was obviously newer than the rest, so he took it in his hands and turned to her. "But Thrakmal is a Dragon, and even the less sophisticated ones always," With both strong hands, he gave the chain a sudden, quick pull, and it lowered a bit from its wall socket, a series of grinding and loud sound came from the floor as a secret trap door opened between the two of them. "ALWAYS have a treasure hoard." He gave her a white smile and a confident wink.
Floy's eyes lit up like a little green kid at Christmas...or, like, whatever passes for Christmas among Goblins. "Yea, baby, TREASURE!" She made an excited dash towards the open doorway, a musty staircase descended into the bowls of the castle. "Race ya to the bottom!" She exclaimed before making a start to scurry down the stairs. Sir Swoonmore effortlessly scooped her up and spun her half circle away from the door, just as a singular and rusted spike thrust itself up from one of the pressure sensitive plates in the stairs.
Floy let out a quick and adorable girly-yelp when Sir Swoonmore set her back on her dainty heels and she saw the crude instrument that would have surely impaled her naughty bits, along with her spleen, heart, and brains.
The Knight kneeled down beside her and explained calmly. "As I was saying; All Dragons have treasure Hoards, and those Treasure Hoards are always trapped." He leaned over and gave the Gobliness a small and warm kiss on the forehead. "Better let me go first." And he began to make his way down the staircase.
The battle tested and courageous Sir Swoonmore had seen it all in his tenure as a Knight; Fire traps, spike traps, acid traps, boiling water traps, mouse traps, day traps, night traps and all traps in between. Floy watched in absolute, slick-loined glee as her Knightly escort disarmed each and every hardship they came across on the long staircase journey. "You...oh, wow..." She reached out a soft and green hand and smoothed it along Sir Swoonmore's chest, her big, gaudy brass rings clattering against his armor as she did so. "You are...really good at this..." Her eyes fluttered like a schoolgirl at her crush. Seeing him do all these Knightly, adventurous things made her absolutely ravenous for him, and the young girl was overheating by the second.
"Thank you, Princess. I graduated first in my class at Knight College. I majored in traps." He gave an unimpressed shrug as he looked around them. "Looks like Thrakmal should have invested in a more accomplished architect."