I know what you're thinking; Gaius, why not take the whole vampire back to Oswin for the reward, hell why not just the head? In truth I was thinking that myself as I pulled myself from the filth pit I had tumbled into. I suppose the answer was that a fang is easy to conceal, you aren't going to take one from a live vampire, and I guess the way I left the vampire was just too damn funny.
Hells, I just thought taking the damn fang would save me the headache of dragging a stinking corpse through the woods or having to explain to a bunch of simpleton townsfolk why they had never noticed that their Thane liked blood so much. I was wrong, very wrong. I lost the fang.
I must have sifted through a mountain of feted mud looking for that tooth. The only light was filtering through cloud and tree to pierce the hole in which Igred and I had fallen. I was certain that it must have been near me, but with the rain water sloshing in from the lip of the cavern above, everything kept shifting and was having a damnable time of it.
Igred was beginning to stir now, waking in a fresh layer of mud next to me. Her sodden cloak pulled from her neck, sticking into the slop beneath her. Her green skin, now a dark, slick brown. Only blots of her minty hued flesh were visible, less so because of the fading light from above. She seemed in one piece, and I was thankful for that at the very least.
"Where have we fallen?" Asked Igred, who nursed a sore spot on her back. The way she arched pushed her breasts out, and for the briefest of moments, I forgot about the fang.
"Devil if I know," I muttered in response, "how well can your witchly eyes see into the dark? I've lost the Thane's tooth." I hoped that my reddening face was masked by the same caking of mud that disguised Igred's hue.
"I am neither lycan nor vampire," she began breathless with exasperation, "but I may be able to assist you in finding it." She made to help me, stooping over and sliding her hands through the muck. Our search was halted by a hideous shriek.
"Goblins." I was saying it aloud to inform her more than anything, in hopes of hastening her reaction time by stemming her curiosity and the myriad of questions she was about to ask me. It worked, and she stood, I leapt to my feet afterward, and with great remorse we left the tooth behind.
There was no point in pittering around where we were, there was no way back out of the hole we had fallen into, instead we groped our way opposite the direction of the shrieking. It was a hell of a thing, trying to plop through the mud blindly, and more than once we fell, slipped, or sank. It was a slow, agonizing retreat. The smell of whatever putrid mud we had the misfortune of being coated in clung heavily to my nostrils.
"Where are we to go?" Asked Igred, her hand upon my belt to keep us from separating.
"Fuck if I know," I chortled in reply, "away from the goblins!" I hated goblins, little creatures with big ears and pot bellies they were, pale and lanky of limb, with sharp little teeth, keen eyes, and bad attitudes. Usually they stayed below ground, hiding themselves from any daylight or men. If you were unlucky and stumbled upon them at night, well, your body would be found eventually... stripped clean of anything valuable.
As luck would have it, not our luck of course but the goblin's luck, the ground took a sudden and steep turn. Aided by the churning mud beneath us, we slipped and slid down the tunnel. Naturally we both screamed, which as one can imagine was quite stupid to do. After a rather long interval of this, I found my legs and ass lacking for solid ground beneath them. We were free falling now, but thankfully that was a short fall. Had it been nearly as long as the slide, well, I'd most likely be a pulpier man today.