4:32AM... it was 4:32AM when Carmen's fortitude gave out. She collapsed in bed, unconcerned when the springs stabbed at her, or with the meagre cover. Hot coals would lull her to sleep easier. On her desk, a series of newspapers were strewn about with random ads circled or crossed out, mostly the latter. Her phone was discarded beside them, out of minutes and power. A teasing breeze weaved through the cracks in their walls and ceiling.
Ryuka hovered nearby, awake as always. She didn't sleep. Sleep was a human necessity, not something a god of sexuality required, though the few moments of peace she saw on Carmen's face were during those times. Dreams were a wondrous escape. She'd heard of her kind finding ways into people's dreams, often recounting nonsensical landscapes or unusual happenings. Many dreamt of the things they longed to do in reality. Some were disturbing.
What did Carmen dream of? Ryuka could guess the answer with a glance to the other bed, where the smaller girl slept, unaware of the apparent discord heading their way. All Carmen claimed to want was a better life for the child and her mother. Not herself. And so, the Futa Note rested in Carmen's bag, untouched for days at a time.
Everything could be solved with a few sentences. No human would have reason to refuse such power, even those who already had it. Yet Carmen all but tore it to shreds each time Ryuka broached the subject. The goddess fluttered down to Carmen's level, mighty wings beating softly, and stared. It was admirable, that someone could control themselves to such a degree. Ryuka's very presence should have driven her into a lustful craze long ago.
It was only a matter of time, however. She would succumb. So long as she had the Futa Note, whether she used its power or not, she couldn't hold out forever. On that day, Ryuka suspected the wait would be worth every second. She'd already learned much from this single human.
"Sleep well, Carmen," Ryuka said and mimed the same pose, intent on keeping the human guessing about what she did, and didn't need. It was a childish game, but she enjoyed it.
Two hours of sleep were torture, almost worse than none at all. Carmen shoved herself up, her trained bio-clock rousing her at the usual time. If she let herself fall back to the pillows, lumpy though they were, she might not wake again. Perhaps not, she thought as a smell caught her attention. It was of bacon, a luxurious ingredient they had on special occasions. She got up and walked into the cubical that was their kitchen.
"Mom?" Carmen yawned.
"Morning, Sweetheart," Alicia said as she set three plates with a fried egg and strips of bacon, still sizzling. She beamed like the morning sun, "I've forgotten what it's like to cook. Well, this is hardly cooking."
"What happened?" Carmen asked, a deep frown tightening her brow, while her gut clenched and her lungs stammered for air. Scenarios ran rampant. Did her mother rob a bank in the middle of the night? Did she do something worse? She wouldn't sell her body for sex... would she?
"Nothing, just wanted to make my baby girls a nice breakfast," Alicia said and turned back to the sink, washing up the pan, "Wake Melody up and have some. This'll be the first time we've had a decent meal together in ages."
"About four years," Carmen said.
"That long?" Alicia's voice was strained, "Well, better late than never." Now her smile wavered, dipping in and out from existence. The longer Carmen stared, the tighter it became.
"Yeah," Carmen went to wake Melody. Maybe their mother had a plan? Some form of emergency funds stashed away for just this occasion? Her gut roiled. What if she wound up working as a stripper? Or a prostitute? Both?
Her own grin strained as she watched Melody scarf down her breakfast, despite being told to savour her food. Alicia also struggled, unaccustomed to the masquerade Carmen performed day after day with her sister. All was fine. All was well. Things would get better. The same lines, on repeat, spoken with a different word at times, but still the same empty phrases. Except she had the means to make them real.
"No," Carmen ground her teeth together. This was her problem, a human's problem. If she used the book for something like this, then what would stop her from using when she next had any difficulty. Nothing. Using it for others was fine. Sometimes they needed it. Not her. She was different. Better.
"Did you say something?" Alicia asked.
"Hmm?" Carmen blinked, "Oh, nothing. Just mumbling to myself."
"That's weird," Melody said.
"Oh yeah? What about this?" Carmen crossed her eyes.
"Ew!" Melody giggled, then tried it to no success.
"You'll get it. I'm gonna go get ready," Carmen said and slid a leftover strip onto Melody's plate. With how her body had developed, more fat was the last thing she needed. Back in her bedroom, Ryuka made her presence known.
"Just use it," she said.
"No," Carmen growled. This wasn't a good time. She doubted she could hurt the perverse goddess, but every muscle in her body was willing to try.
"You could get anything you want. That means a better life for your family," Ryuka said.
"I know," Carman said, all the fury evaporated, then condensed at the corner of her mind where it would wait until she couldn't handle it. Which may well be a few hours from then, assuming Gretchen showed up at school.
