Franengeld

Previously in Frankengeld. Damion and Helena have visited the strange Greek patient, who turned out to be the god Priapus under an alias, Lord Mutunus. Damion assessed the god's problem - an issue of maintaining an erection - and Helena helped out by giving the god's three satyr companions a long awaited woman. Damion has promised to try to create a cure for the god's condition. On their way home they have been attacked by three, strangely coordinated and very large bats, but Damion was able to drive them away.

Now read on ...

11th June, in the year 1784, just before midnight.

The journey flew by and in what seemed like a few minutes we were back at the stables. The ostler took charge of the two-wheeler, checking for damage as they usually did. We had treated the horse and vehicle well, no scratches, so there was nothing extra to pay, and I said nothing of the extreme manoeuvres I had performed during the attack by the three bats. He grunted a good night at us and we went on our way.

Helena seemed a bit disappointed that I would say no more about her being a Shepherdess of Arcady but we were home at that point in the discussion so we had to start thinking of other things, and other people than ourselves.

We let Anya and Yani go to bed, and had a nightcap with Una who sat quietly sipping her brandy. Then holding her glass in both hands and staring into the depths of the golden liquid she quietly said, "I would like to stay here, if that would be acceptable."

"That would be nice," said Helena.

"I agree," I added. "You will be an asset to the household."

"And no more thinking you must come to Damion's bed in order to keep your post," said Helena, winking at me. "If you want to open your legs to our master then it must be freely given, as I do."

"Good evening ladies," I said, finishing off my drink, and thinking that Lord Mutunus was right. Helena was a pagan, and a treasure. "I"m going to my bed now for I am tired," I admitted. "We have a busy day tomorrow I'm sure. And I have a unusual task, an aphrodisiac for a god must be found."

12th June, in the year 1784.

When I rose the next day Helena was back to being my assistant again. True I got a nice kiss that woke me gently and slowly, and she giggled as she left the bed to get dressed. But there was little of the randy pagan I had seen cavorting yesterday. I was aware that some had a word for someone like her, a slut, but I couldn't think of her that way. To me she just had an appetite for pleasure that encompassed all the human needs.

Una was also a little different. Dressed now in better clothes, and with some of the fear of being taken back to Durishaus lifting from her, she applied herself to the chores around the house. Though she did say when she caught me alone that she would still like to thank me for my generosity.

The first patient today was my old friend, Herr Weil. I had expected him to return. People who have an obsession with their health rarely stay away from their doctor for long. As before, he looked as fit as a man of his age could reasonably expect. He said 'good day', sat, and I dipped my pen, ready to record his symptoms.

"I need to tell you about your tonic, Herr Doctor," he started, to my surprise for I expected a complaint about some ache or pain.

"Was the combination of tonic and powder effective?" I asked, putting my pen down for a moment. Was this man about to complain that it had been useless?

"It was remarkable," he licked his lips. "I asked my maidservant, Bettina, to warm the tonic. I find that I get less gastric distress if my medicines are gently warmed. And when she brought it I asked her to stir in one sachet of your special powder."

I nodded, relaxing a little at the word 'remarkable'. This had been the dose I suggested, enough to hopefully warm his libido and send him scurrying to his wife. I had decided to help Herr Weil by making him gently aroused so that he might indulge in a little of his husbandly duties instead of sitting and ruminating on his symptoms. To take to the marriage bed, instead of the sick bed he so often frequented when his 'symptoms' became unbearable.

"Unfortunately," he replied. "The girl misheard me and put in all three."

I stiffened in my chair, alarmed.

"It was my own fault," he admitted. "For I have, in the past, been inclined to ... overdo ... the dosage of medicines from Doctor Karsten. The girl has been with us six months and was well aware of this fact. She simply anticipated a demand I did not make on that occasion."

"What happened?" I asked, worrying what I would hear.

"She gave me the mixture to drink," he replied. "And started to set a fire."

Who has a fire in his chambers at this time of year, I asked myself? Then I thought about his complaints of 'easy chills' and his 'blood running cold some days', of course he would have a fire, even in summer.

"I sat and calmed my breathing, as Doctor Karsten used to suggest, and watched her," Herr Weil continued. "She was on her hands and knees, head in the fireplace, and her bottom was because of this stuck up. I had not realised, until then, just how attractive her bottom was. She has, you understand, a very wide and generous backside, that has a little jiggle to it when she moves. The crack is generous and thin cloth of the thin summer skirt she wears at this time of year falls into the crack in a most revealing way."

I understood completely. Summer time was a time of year when those who could afford them switched to lighter, thinner, cloth for their garments. Gerda seemed to be a specialist in this, her current clothes barely concealing her curves.

"The view became fascinating," he paused as if remembering. "I could not tear my eyes away from the sight. Despite my attempts to slow my breathing I became ... excited, and then, I reached down and ran my hand down the crack until I could feel her quim. She looked up at me and smiled and made some sort of comment about how she'd been waiting a long time for me to touch her. She wriggled her bottom which made my hand rub her sex and then, I know not how, I was on the floor behind her. I pulled her skirt up and threw it over her head. I think she protested at being plunged into darkness, the only protest she made, but I was too excited to listen."

He stopped speaking, overcome with emotion, and gestured at my drinks table. I brought him a brandy, the universal solution to many problematic conditions. Hysteria, fainting, animal attack, vampire depredation, hiccups, I - and many of my contemporaries - would always prescribe this wonderful liquid at every opportunity. He gulped some of the reviving drink and then resumed his tale.

"I pleasured her, Doctor Damion, just where she was," he gasped. "With her head in the grate and her hands full of kindling. I was like a thing possessed. I had not performed like this since my honeymoon. Her cries went up the chimney as she moaned, gasped, and encouraged me to greater efforts. Some of her screams of pleasure were loud enough to dislodge soot which fell on her. I was a maniac, just watching my member plunging into her with no thoughts for the consequences if she fell pregnant. Her bottom distorted every time I struck home, and it felt like her anus was winking at me, inviting me to partake of its forbidden joys."

Listening to Herr Weil I could feel myself rising to his description. I was pleased that this man, who had previously complained that 'sometimes he could hear the blood pumping in his ears' and at those times would lie very still in a darkened room, was now capable of such efforts. But he had not finished his description.

"I continued for nearly half an hour," he said, proudly. "Bettina was becoming increasingly foul mouthed, reaching back to touch my testicles and hint that she might do things with her mouth I would find amazing. And then she screamed and I could feel her insides pulsing and squeezing my member. She fell sideways and looked up at me with such a look of joy on her face. I felt a real man at that moment, doctor. But my member was still erect, and I needed more. I abandoned my slut of a maid and ran upstairs to where my wife was doing her embroidery, in her boudoir."

Another sip of brandy went down and he looked intently at me.

"My wife is much younger than I, Herr Doctor, by about ten years, and very small and slight. We have rarely had marital relations, partly because of my symptoms, and partly because of her frailty. I dragged her from her chair and, declaring my deepest love and lust for her, I lifted her and placed her on the bed. I fear I was a little rough in removing her clothes and, despite her pleas to close the curtains and hide our bodies under the bedsheets, I was determined to pleasure her in daylight and full view. Once her clothes were removed I studied her body for a full minute before lust overtook me. She lay, looking very boy-like for she has very small, flat, breasts and her hips are not that wide. She has taken to the Parisian way with her hair and has it cut quite short, which made the vision before me even more like a young man. Nonetheless I lusted after her, thought no wife could be more perfect and, after rubbing her quim for a little while, I felt her intimate juices on my fingers. I entered her, and pleasured my beloved for a full hour."

He took another gulp of the brandy, while I made some notes of the effect of a triple dose of the compound, then he grasped my hand.

"My wife took two seedings from me, doctor," he crowed. "She had, I believed, given up on the prospect of children but we made up for it yesterday. And the positions we put our bodies in during our lust you would not believe."

I thought of some of the couplings I had experienced and silently chuckled, I knew quite well what two lovers might achieve.

"Both ladies were most grateful, doctor," Herr Weil concluded. "My maid said she'd been waiting many months for me to ... fully appreciate her. I think those were the words she used. She would now like the status of being my mistress, to which I have agreed. And my wife, whom I admit I had neglected for years in my parlous medical state, was hopeful that this event would signify the return of regular marital relations, and the possibility of children in the years to come."

He sat back and looked at me, expectantly.

"It seems to have worked out well for you," I cautiously suggested, waiting for the 'but' that would lead to a new complaint. "So what do you want from me today?"

He threw a pouch of coins onto my desk that landed with a heavy thump.

"Why, more tonic, and lots more of your special powder, Herr Doctor."

"I think we can do that for you, Herr Weil." I said with a sigh of relief.

"And can you put three doses of the special powder into each packet?" he added. "My new mistress says it will be easier to dispense, she prefers not having to fiddle with three tiny packets."

We gave him a dozen tonics and a matching quantity of my compound. I warned Herr Weil not to use it too frequently. Specifically, I told him I would sell him no more compound for at least a month!

Helena saw him out of my study and I was convinced he was studying in turn, her bottom. I cast my eyes to heaven and wondered what I had done to Herr Weil in my efforts to deal with his hypochondria.

The next patient was introduced by Helena as Madam Schwartz. She was a tall and buxom woman, dressed mostly in black, with a few red highlights to her costume. She swept into my consulting room and sat down, the creaking of leather demonstrating the fact that much of her costume was constructed of that material. She was, I knew, the brothel Madam for the Ruby Palace, a grandiose name for her small business which consisted of just herself and half a dozen girls. The red painted door was the closest the customer would get to rubies. Beyond it, a narrow flight of steps led up to a small lounge where Madam welcomed you and showed you the girls on offer. There were several small rooms where the girls entertained their clients.

How did I know all this? Because my father dragged me there a few years ago, just before I left for Engolstadt and university. I had achieved my eighteenth birthday, but at that time - to his distress - I had neither seduced one of the servants, or made one of the girls in Carlsbruck or Tatarif pregnant. I think he thought there was something wrong with me. Up the stairs I was pushed and he threw a gold coin at Madam, and me into the room she indicated.

The girl inside got the measure of me within a minute. She was gentle with me whilst making loud noises of sexual satisfaction that implied a prowess I really didn't have. I returned home with my father happy that I was capable of sex. I could have told him that. Specifically, my sister Elodie could have told him that. But my father never really listened to me, and Elodie was just a girl waiting to be married off - he would no more ask her for information about something than he would ask his horse to give him advice on travelling.

Doctor Karsten had left well organised records, all in alphabetical order by surname, but I was struggling to find the notes for our new patient. I was working my way through the S's when she spoke.

"Frankengeld!" she said commandingly. "You will find me under Hyde."

I looked back to see she had a faint smile on her face. Did she remember my visit even though it was years ago? I renewed my delving and quite quickly found her notes. I sat down.

"How can I help?" I examined the first page with her personal details. "Miss Hyde."

As she started to explain I found myself intrigued and puzzled by her accent. She spoke well but there was an Englishness to her inflection. No, not quite English, softer, with more of a rolling sound to her R's. I had heard it before and finally located the accent in my mind. The last person I had heard speak this way was a visiting lecturer from Edinburgh, that centre for medical excellence.

"Herr Doctor, you seem distracted." said Madam Schwartz.

"Sorry. I was trying to locate your accent. Please continue."

"As I was saying I have become a trifle unstable at present. I need something to fix me." she said.

The language she used was peculiar and for a moment I considered she was unable to find the correct words in our tongue. I must have looked puzzled for a second time in as many minutes.

"You have not read my history then," she gestured towards Doctor Karsten's notes.

"I have only taken over this practice recently, Miss Hyde, and have not had the luxury of time to read them all," I replied. It was not a lie, much had happened since I came back from university.

"Then I shall explain, though you will find the tale to be strange," she said.

I settled back to listen. There was no time pressure here, for the doorbell had not rung since Miss Hyde had entered. No patients sitting waiting. I could give her all the time she needed.

"I am from Scotland and once was like you, a medical practitioner," she started.

Oh no, I thought, a fantasist. I was aware of only one woman who had been a doctor, a Dorothea Erxleben of Quedlinburg, who took over her husband's practice and was nearly convicted of quackery as a consequence. I knew that Edinburgh was progressive but a woman, as a doctor, such a foolish idea.

"You smile Herr Doctor," said Madam Schwartz, looking slightly annoyed. "But in those days I was a man, and a respected member of the medical community."

"You can understand I find that hard to believe," I replied. This fantasy was becoming wilder by the minute. But, in response to my incredulity, Miss Hyde proceeded to describe many symptoms, and the diseases they indicated, several medical procedures in intricate detail, and all using the correct terminology. Either this woman had spent years studying medicine in an attempt to fool people, and what would be the point of that, or what she said was true.

"Peace madam," I gave in. "I believe you. I will not interrupt, or make expressions of doubt. Tell your tale."

"I was a practitioner in Edinburgh," she started. "I will call myself the Good Doctor at that time, for that is how most saw me. I witnessed much evil in that city, but also much good. I speculated that if, in my fellow men, the good could be made to dominate their behaviour, then many of the evils of the world could be eliminated. In my spare time I worked to research an elixir ..."

I feared the worse, that this unusual individual had beaten me to my goal.

"... An elixir," she continued. "That might suppress the evil part of the soul and permit the goodness to rule."

I relaxed, not the same goal at all, but something more ambitious, more akin to Victor Frankenstein's work.

"When I tested it on my own self, for I would not risk any other, I discovered that it had an unexpected and undesirable effect. It broke my soul into two, and released a creature who named himself Mr Hyde."

This was fascinating stuff. It was not uncommon for medications to have wildly different effects in different doses. For example, too much belladonna did not steady the heart but stopped it. But this sounded a far more tragic effect.

"Mr Hyde was a vile creature who indulged all the vices a man could imagine," she sad in a sad tome. "He over-ate, drank copiously and gave vent to his carnal desires, which were varied, and most degenerate. He was very violent if crossed, abusive verbally and physically, and utterly corrupt. While he was in the ascendant I was trapped within his body, witness to his acts but unable to prevent them or even speak. I, the Good Doctor, was horrified with what I had done and decided I could not permit Hyde to emerge again. I stopped the experiments, and determined never to take the elixir again."

I would have done more to adapt the elixir, to see if I could rescue the situation, but this odd Scotsman was clearly very honourable, perhaps too much so. She ... he ... did not want the possibility that they could make things worse.

"To my horror, stopping the doses of elixir did not solve the problem," Madam Schwartz continued. "Over the following weeks and months I experienced periods of amnesia, during which my body was overtaken by Hyde. I was in despair."

I speculated that the elixir had already had its effect, possibly the first time it was consumed, it was too late to stop. It must have been very powerful to split the soul this way and I found myself admiring this researcher for her ... his... evident skills.

"The last days of the Good Doctor and Mr Hyde are a blur to me," here her voice dropped an octave and there was a ripple of movement across her face, like waves across a lake. "During which the Good Doctor worked to create a new elixir to remedy the change, and Hyde's vile pursuits lead to him committing murder. He became a wanted man."

I noted that Miss Hyde referred to both the Good Doctor and Mr Hyde as if they were separate people. Perhaps that way she could distance herself from the Doctor's mistakes, and the evil Mr Hyde. Or perhaps they were separate beings, and she was a third person occupying the body. She twisted in her chair, in a manner that I did not think the human body was capable, and I noted that her hands had become less slender and more hairy.

"I need this," she, who was rapidly becoming he before my very eyes, pushed a piece of paper across the desk. "And quickly!" Then he fell off the chair in a dead faint.

I checked his pulse which was steady and strong wondering if I now had the Good Doctor, or the evil Mr Hyde in my consulting room. Then I looked at the slip of paper that had the recipe for an elixir. It was insanely complicated.

"Helena!" I shouted.

The door opened in response to my call and my assistant found me knelt by my patient.

"Oh Damion!" she gasped in alarm. "Is Madam Schwartz dead?" Then she looked more closely. "Why have you dressed this man in Madam Schwartz's clothes? And what have you done with Madam Schwartz?"