Hello Literotica, this is my first attempt at publishing anything, so I appreciate constructive criticism. If the feedback is positive, I might continue writing about Garokh and his (mis-)adventures. I tried to find any grammar and spelling errors, but English not being my native language, I surely have missed a few. That said, I hope you enjoy the story.
Garokh Skullsplitter couldn't sleep. It wasn't the ruckus down in the common room; after a year of adventuring, he was used to that. The same was true for the creaking of the floorboards and the howling wind blowing through the cracks in the tavern's walls. He also did not complain about the bed that was a few centimeters too short for someone of his size and the mattress that probably contained less straw than the feeding troughs outside. It was just a fact of life that tavern rooms in a primarily human town weren't made with orcs in mind.
No, the problem was his raging boner that poked uncomfortably against his underwear. It had been days since he had been with a woman (or a man for that matter) and he felt ready to explode. Damn, he had left his stronghold to find himself a few wives, and here he was, one year later and alone. Garokh had already tried to help himself a few times that night, but a hand just wasn't a replacement for something warm, wet and...
He forcefully stopped that train of thought; it definitely would not help him calm down. For what felt like the hundredth time that night, he turned around and closed his eyes. It was useless, however. All around him, the sounds died down as the common room emptied and people went to their rooms, but he was still awake. Which, in the end, turned out for the best, because otherwise he might not have noticed the intruder.
Slowly, very slowly, someone opened the door to Garokh's room. If not for a slight creaking, he might have overheard them. The intruder also noticed the sound and stopped immediately, waiting for a reaction from the 'sleeping' orc. For a long while, nothing happened. Garokh deliberately took slow, rhythmic breaths, playing at being asleep and holding onto the long dagger he always kept near.
But the intruder did not try to reach him, instead sneaking further into the room. They were good, making almost no noise. But almost no noise was not none and Garokh was able to trace the person's path through the room. The goal was apparently the orc's treasure chest. Garokh almost chuckled, as the thief - for that was probably what they were - was in for a big surprise. Chomper was cranky even on a good day. Woken up in the middle of the night by someone jamming a lockpick into him, he would probably be livid.
Exactly as expected, a few seconds later, a surprised yelp sounded from the general direction of Garokh's chest, followed by an angry growl and a wet chomping sound. Immediately, the surprised squeaks were replaced by panicked shouting. The voice sounded hollow, like it was surrounded by something large and empty, but it was unmistakably female and rather high pitched.
"HELP! Help me! A monster is trying to eat me!"
Garokh was no longer able to contain his mirth. A deep, rumbling laughter escaped his lips at the sight that greeted him when he opened his eyes. Chomper, his mimic traveling companion, had trapped the intruder's head in its fangs and was holding on, growling and yapping angrily. The thief was a young woman, a goblin or a halfling judging from the size. Garokh caught sight of some green skin as she was flailing about uselessly. So, a goblin it was.
What was more interesting than the pitch of her voice or the color of her skin was the shapely butt that stuck out of Chomper's maw. She wore a pair of tight leather trousers that fit so snuggly that they could have been painted onto her bare legs. The goblin apparently had not shirked on her training, her legs and ass attractively muscled. He guessed you could have bounced a copper penny off those cheeks if you wanted.
"Hey! Hollow brain! Could you stop laughing and get me out of here before that monster gobbles me up!" Her voice skirted the border between indignation and panic, but he felt it was still a bit demanding for someone who had come to rob him.
"Oh, don't be a baby," he rumbled. "Chomper is still young, he can't swallow even someone as bite sized as yourself." Mock surprise entered his voice as he continued. "But tell me, how did you get into this predicament? I distinctly remember going to sleep without a goblin in my treasure chest."
This elicited a new shriek of anger. "Who are you calling bite sized, you stunted half-giant? And you know exactly how I got here, mister wannabe comedian. Now get me out of here. You had your fun and I fucked up, no harm done, okay?"
Garokh feigned a contemplative tone. "You don't seem very contrite, do you? How do I know that you won't return later with better preparation? I think I should call the guard and let them sort it out."
That made his captive go completely still. "You're...you're joking, right? Come on, I would never live that down. It would make me the laughing stock of the guild. And besides, you're an adventurer as well, aren't you? That would be a real dick move."
She was right, at least to a point. Members of the Adventurers' Guild normally sorted out stuff like that among themselves. It was expected that thieves and related professions would test their skills against fellow adventurers, as long as they stayed within their own rank. If you could not manage to protect your belongings, well, that was your loss. It was an outlook he respected as it mirrored how most members of his own species felt to begin with. But she didn't need to know that. He really enjoyed making the little thief squirm.
"I don't know," he pondered loudly. "I mean, you tried to rob me of my hard earned money. You could call that a dick move as well."
She started struggling again, but after a few seconds, she recognized how futile that was and pleaded with him. "Come on, man. Can't we come to some other agreement. I...can pay you. I have stashed away a few coins. Or do you need something stolen? Come on, work with me. Isn't there anything I can help you with? We really do not need to involve the guard."
The last part caught his attention. Looking at that perfect ass again, there actually
was
something she could help him with. He started to caress her butt with one hand, kneading it roughly. "Actually, something just came to my mind. I believe that you could be
very
helpful."
Her voice suddenly became nervous. "Hey, big guy...that...that was actually not what I was talking about. Isn't there something
else.
