"No." I said firmly. "What you are asking is kinda fucked up."
"How do you figure? Its just helping a guy out with the ladies." My one-time roommate pleads.
"Jake. You want me to enchant something that causes a woman to lose their inhibitions and find you sexually irresistible." I speak the words slowly hoping his brain will register the messed-up part of what he was saying. Unfortunately, he just nods as though I'm the one only just now understanding. I mop my hand across my face as I feel a building headache behind my eyes. "You realize that basically accounts to magical date rape, right?" He's suddenly taken aback by the accusation unsure how to respond. "Firstly, It's stupid Illegal. If anyone catches you with it, we are going to wish Azkaban was a real prison. It looks a lot nicer then where they would send us. Secondly your empathic. Your abilities already let you know how a woman is feeling in intimate detail. Information I know you've used to pick up half of town with. Why would you even need such a thing?"
His face brightens as I let him feel my outrage at the idea he has just offered up. Normally I'm careful to keep my emotions guarded around Jake. His latent magics aren't malicious but its never a good idea to give an empath emotional leverage in an argument. I watch a moment as he tries to come up with a rational justification.
"It's just, there's this girl." My eyebrows arch skeptically. This should be good. The last time he spoke those words it ended with him getting hexed, resulting in him only being able to speak in song lyrics for several days. Hilarious, and thankfully very lenient. The witch that he cheated on at the time could have done far far worse to him. "I've met her a couple of times, and I think she's really into me. But I can't read her at all. Every time I try to make a move, she shuts me down. It's super frustrating."
"Welcome to the world of normal people who have to use conversation and personality on dates." Someone that can block an empaths abilities completely was a very short list. Either a powerful magic user, actively blocking probes into their mind, or a selection of demonic or faerie entities. None of which were someone to be taking lightly. Jake wasn't the brightest but he knew well enough to avoid those circles. I rolled the idea around in my head a moment. There is another option. "Was she wearing topaz?" I ask as the thought fully formed.
"Um, what?"
"Topaz. A yellow/orange gem of some kind?" I watched as Jake collected his memories.
"Not that I remember. She wasn't wearing any jewelry at all really. Why does that matter?"
"Because topaz can be easily enchanted to block a number of mental intrusions such as yours." I smirk. Finally, someone has caught wind of Jake's playboy antics and is dealing with him. I hope they at least make him work for it. Or better yet leave him in the cold to teach him a lesson. "You are going to just use your natural charm and hope for the best. Maybe buy her flowers or something." My list of dating advice was rather stale, if anything I should be asking him for help. I still have at least a shred of pride. "Now if you don't mind, I have to get back to my forge and get back to work."
"Making +1 vorpal hammers?" Jake asked sarcastically. Enchanting is an art form. Dumbing it down to D&D video game terms was slightly offensive. Besides who needs a hammer of infinite sharpness. I wave him off with a single choice finger. He relents and makes his way out my front door.
As he walks out into the sunlight of the afternoon I watch as his head swivel around and his jaw fall slack. I didn't need to wait to see what had his attention as before my door could even close a woman had stepped inside. I use the word woman, but that isn't quite accurate. It would be the equivalent to calling the Taj Mahal a building. While technically correct, it was much much more then that. Just so the form in my doorway could only be described as a vision. She strode into my shop hips swaying, auburn ringlets bouncing down along her shoulders, and her eyes piercingly green. The black dress she wore hugged her body showing off curves that would make racetrack jealous. The length and neckline showing just enough skin to be tasteful but hinted that tasteful could kiss her ass at the drop of a hat.
"Hello. Are you Collin?" Her voice dripped honey. Pleasantly sweet. I found myself staring a moment longer then I should have before I realized it was my turn to speak.
"Uh-um, yep." Wow. With winning conversation like that it's amazing her panties are still on. No wonder I can't get a date. Maybe Jake was onto something after all. I push that thought out of my head. "How can I help you?" I ask finally rerouting enough blood to my brain to sustain basic function.
"You're an enchanter, right?" She asked leaning forward on a display case holding a number of mundane knives I forged. Her eyes browsing across to the next display that held assorted cheep costume jewelry. I have to keep everything up front above board. Just in case a normie walks in. Selling enchanted items to unintroduced population was frowned upon. Most people still go about their days completely unaware that much of the supernatural world exists right beside them. The fact that this woman addressed me as an enchanter let me know that she wasn't belonging to that group.
"I do various forms of enchantment yes. Forging and jewelry mostly. Anything in particular you are looking for?" I can't help but be drawn to the cleavage on display as she continues to lean against my display. Her forest green eyes come up to meet mine as she smiles impishly.
"I need a couple of items enchanted to broadcast ownership." In enchanting circles that was quite a common practice. With so many supernatural beings out and about, magically marking one's territory as it were was beneficial to prevent squabbles that could turn dangerous quickly. Mostly it was a simple spell to tell anyone magically sensitive that certain items or areas were reserved for certain groups or species.
"Of course." I chime in cheerfully. I'm always happy to take on new business. Especially business that's so easy on the eyes. "What items did you need made?"
"A collar, a pair of cuffs, and a series of three buttplugs of varying sizes." Her eyes sparkled as my brain misfired and I had to pick up my jaw.
I blinked repeatedly. Pretty sure my brain was breaking down the information into Morse code. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" There was a twinkle in the woman's eyes as she obviously enjoyed my stunned reaction.
"Collar. Cuffs. Butt plugs." She said the words slowly and pointed to where each item would go, giving her ass a playful pat for the last one. The angle she was leaned at made me long to be on the other side of her. Mind out of the gutter Collin. Customer.
"O-of course." I stammered trying to focus on the business at hand. This might be one of the odder requests I've gotten but not the first one. I once enchanted an Easter basket to help find chocolate. "Is there a preferred duration you'd like for these enchantments?"
"For the life of the items if at all possible." Seeing that I was overcoming my previous flustered state my customer straightened slightly and responded in a more business-like tone.
"That may require some hard to find materials." There is a number of different methods that one can use to enchant an item. The quickest and easiest is to take an existing item and layer it with magic. A process referred to as glazing. The major drawback is that it didn't last very long. Depending on the effect produced and the skill of the enchanter the longest they typically lasted was a couple weeks. After that the natural magics of the world broke them down and they would need to be reapplied. The more reliable method was to create the item with the enchantment latticed throughout. It was far more intensive and required the enchanter to be a skilled artisan and not just magically fluent. The results could last years to centuries but was highly dependant on the materials used. While precious metals like silver and electrum naturally held enchantment better then steel, repurposed items that had history behind them were even better still. The conflux of energies at important events naturally charge key items with excess of latent magic.
"My patron has that covered." The wry smirk returned to her lips. She reached down placing her small purse on the counter and produced a long strip of dark leather and what could best be described as a brick of iridescent silver metal. "The remains of a leather bombers jacket that survived being shot down in world war two and one pound of mithril. The leather for the collar and cuffs, mithril for the plugs. I also have a collection of gemstones to be set into their bases." A small pouch was produced and placed on the counter beside the rest. These were the most expensive items that had ever been brought through my shop. I once more had to pick up my chin from the floor.
Mithril might be the rarest metal on earth. Primarily because its mined in an entirely different realm. Aside from elven royalty or extremely wealthy dwarves no one had access to it. It held enchantment indefinitely but was notoriously finicky to work with. Here I was being instructed to make it into buttplugs. Mithril buttplugs. I'm pretty sure that takes the cake for most insane project ever offered to me. Hell, it takes the whole bakery.
"Here is a list of required dimensions," She continued talking handing me an envelope. "as well as a series of pictures for the style and design of each item. My patron is generously offering to allow you to keep any leftover material for your own personal use as partial payment on top of your hourly rate." Her face was entirely serene, bubbling with sudden innocence as though she was daring me to turn down the job. The offer to keep the mithril left over on top of my normal rate was the equivalent to a tipping a barista a thousand dollars for your black coffee. Whoever her patron was had very deep pockets.
