This is exciting, I finally got to get up from heaven and go somewhere. Nothing major like a drug house or anything, but after drinking coke for two hours with nothing to do anything is welcome. Skidding to a stop next to the car I give Gomer a questioning look. His name isn't Gomer, his name is Anthony Pyle he just really liked Jim Nabors in Gomer Pyle USMC. He also likes to do some of the sayings, was tickled pink when I started calling him Gomer.
"We have a domestic, since I responded I figured I'd just go on and call you, makes life easier on the responding officer to have a second."
"At least it is something that got me off the counter at heaven. Do you want to lead or am I doing it?"
"Well golly, I think you are the leading officer."
I lead him to the front door and knock Gomer calling out police and Jaguar. There is some yelling inside, someone yelling about how they are going to get it now. A larger woman opens the door, her skin so dark she practically disappears in the shadow.
"Oh thank you Jesus, my guy is in here drinking beer and we started having an argument. He's been throwing stuff at me."
"It was empty cans stop being so fucking dramatic." Comes out of the house, he sounds more annoyed than drunk or mad.
We get her to come out of the house I leave her there with Gomer while I go in there are empty cans all over. I look around there is a good sized television with a beat up sofa, a very tall dark skinned man sitting on it watching a movie with a case of beer in front of him.
"What is your side of it?"
"I just got home about an hour ago, shit job but it's a job. All I wanted to do was sit down have some beer and watch TV to relax. Everything was all hunky dory, she had a beer in her hand I had a beer we found a good movie then she starts nagging on me how I never take her to the movies. I tried last weekend she didn't want to see none of them, so I say that to her and she starts calling me a liar. So I start yelling back that I aren't no damn liar and it went like that until I started throwing empty cans at her. I didn't hit her just tossed them around her."
"Well this sounds easy, toss me a beer, Gomer has a good bit with a can of beer."
I catch the can he tosses and have him follow me, I pull Gomer to the side and get her version, roughly the same so I hand Gomer the beer.
"For me? Ah sarge you didn't have ta do that." He has a big goofy grin on his face then cracks open the beer. "Well golly ain't that just the drink of the gods I don't think I ever drank a beer this good before. Not even in New York, I been once ya know afore I joined this here corp, it was full of them tall buildings and fast cars and golly it was a sight."
They are both laughing, Gomer is good at it he is waving his hand and looking up with a goofy expression.
"Alright check the paper for a movie you like and she will tolerate and take her. All she wanted was to be treated like a girlfriend you are supposed to do things for her spur of the moment like, movie or dinner out or well just some flowers. Your shitty day will go away quick with a happy girlfriend."
He looks at her, she nods with a smile so he takes her hand and in they go. Gomer drinks half the beer then hands it to me, I down with a sigh, the beers never taste that good to me unless it is a Juicy Guinness Premier. This is not so easy to find the ingredients for in Detroit, most of the alcohol shops carry the basics and not really much else. I give Gomer the can to recycle later then turn up my radio to hear nothing, with a sigh I head for heaven again.
Mikael is manning the counter when I get back, I sit down on the Jaguar stool it is the last on the counter with the one next to it removed. Officially for public safety, in actually so I can spin and up, this stool only spins to the left which puts my knees right at the person next to me if they are facing me a little. Even heaven has nothing going on there are a couple kids barely old enough to drive at one of the tables and that is it. Mikael hands me a coke then leans over the counter in front of me looking bored.
"I gotta ask did Darryl really fuck you in a stock?"
"Twice now, Tony has taken a liking to gangbanging me. At least without my cousin there, Marie comes and cleans me after. I'm still not that comfortable with it but she is really good at it, I see why my cousin likes her." I rotate one ear the two kids are talking low.
Mikael watch's me listening to them until I give him a grin and go back to my coke.
"I still can't get used to the independent ears part. Since you are grinning I assume nothing bad. I admit I can't wrap my head around you liking to be tied up and gangbanged, I see you out here and you are all take charge."
"I think why I like to let Tony decide everything at home, we spoke to a shrink. He said the most likely reason I like to let Tony make my decisions at home is because of what I do all night. I see acts of violence so often and have to be so in control I need to let go and relax. Apparently it is common for CEO's to get submissive in bed, probably not American presidents they always have a fall guy."
"Hmmm yeah I can see the point there. What were those kids talking about?"
"Me actually, or rather my body, they are hoping they can find a hot chick like me."
"Like that will happen, they arrived in mom's car. Fools need to get a job to have a chance at getting and keeping a woman. So what was the call you left about?"
"Oh it was a domestic and not terribly life threatening, she called because they were arguing and he was throwing empty beer cans at her. She wanted him to take her out on a date, movies was what the argument was over, he asked what she wanted to watch over the weekend. I gave Gomer a beer and let him get them to laugh then told the boyfriend to go pick out a movie she can stand and go."
"That's funny, you should go to more domestic's. I can see it from his side, after a bad day or just a long one I just wanna sit on the sofa and watch TV."
"I always want sex after I go home, why is it so hard for guys to want sex? Not Tony he's always eager to get in me, just in general I don't get it, most every domestic I have gone to she wants sex or a date."
"Seems odd you don't get the violent domestic calls, I think those are the most common. As for sex, it's hard for a guy, we do the pumping during sex and unless we sit in an office all day it's hard to find the energy in your legs for it."
"I asked Frank about the violent domestics, he said they don't send me because I do overreact at times, especially when it comes to violence against women. As for the hard to find the energy I can see that, why I am glad Tony is in a car all night. Say what did the weatherman say about snow?" I look up I smell snow.
"He said we will not see snow for three more days, I get the feeling you are going to say a lot sooner."
"I can smell it, another hour or two it will start coming down its faint and getting stronger."
"Well shit, would you do me a favor? We have a snow hood for the stove vents it's down here. I'd do it myself but the ladder is starting to pull free. Getting a crew tomorrow to secure the ladder, we listened to the weatherman."
"Sure on a rope if possible, jumping with stuff is hard and your roof is up there."
"I'll toss it up weighs nothing almost I'm more worried about me I don't weigh that little."
"Well now if you would stop eating like I do you would lose a hundred pounds." I poke him both of us laughing he's tall and rather muscular not round.
Mikael goes for the hood while I stand up and move over to the side to have a straight jump and not hit the sign. I make it in one jump, though I am left hanging on to the roof. Feeling silly I pull up the rest of the way and lean over the roof waiting for Mikael. As it turns out on the wrong side, he yells so over I go feeling even sillier there are two he yells up to find the wider vents with triangle vents on them. I do, take the triangle vents off and put the bigger snow vents on.
I drop down next to Mikael who jumps farther away, he waggles a finger at me then collects the triangle vents and sticks them in the storage room. I resume my seat and take a sip of my coke, shortly after Mikael comes over.
"You should report the snow to the weather service, get you mentioned there as well."
I pull out my cell phone and send a text to the weather service. Darryl comes over looking a little excited and plugs in the mini TV they have by the stove to play music or get the news. Tru TV comes on making me wonder how much that TV cost to get cable without a box. I groan when Nancy Grace comes on, she has taken an odd sort of dislike for me.
"We are stepping into the lighter side of things, as I am sure many to most have heard Los Angeles is getting a football team again. They are getting one because Jaguar is apparently a very avid fan, or plays at being one quite well. This report is not about Jaguar and her fandom or lack thereof, it is instead about the commercials airing in Los Angeles and only Los Angeles with surrounding area unless you get local channels from there. Here I will show you the commercial in question it makes me want to buy stock in this team."
It cuts to me standing in football stadiums looking sad, I turn and look at the camera and ask where my football is. I get tossed one and I jump around before it cuts to hard hitting football shots. It next shows me standing in front of the Ram's old stadium in the process of being torn down they needed to take half of it down before getting the new one up. I look at the camera hold out the football and say it is back and it needs you, stock on sale now buy as much as you can afford, then come to the games and make those pansy gator fans jealous of our volume. Darryl and Mikael are laughing as Nancy Grace comes back on.
"That commercial speaks to football fans, apparently there are a great number of them in Los Angeles, there have been fifty thousand shares sold in the last two weeks. Reportedly five hundred and ten by the Jaguar Brigade, which is not the focus of the report, want to hear about the football team turn on ESPN. This report is instead about the last line of the commercial, I quote make those pansy gator fans jealous of our volume. The pansy gator fans as Jaguar put it are not rolling over and playing dead, there is an attempt to file a lawsuit by the fans, the college has come forward saying it is nothing more than a challenge and they will come up the winner of the volume war. Which really is a good thing, clean fun and a friendly rivalry, granted one is a professional team the other is a college team. Well future professional team they don't have a coach or staff yet. Now yes I find Jaguar to be questionable on her police work, Miranda rights really should be taught to her, in this case though, gator fans roll over and play dead you are fighting a non issue and as we all know the courts have given Jaguar a clean slate, she is an act of god."
