"There's something about Aatos that you guys aren't going to believe."
"Oh, please tell us, Cethaz!"
Three dwarven women were sitting at the bar, enjoying tall glasses of wine. The largest of them was well into her cups.
"He doesn't have a foreskin!"
One of Cethaz' companions asked, "Do you mean that he's circumcised, like a marsh-gnome?"
"No, Nasrin, he just doesn't have one! Elves don't have anything to circumcise!"
Her friends' eyes grew wide. "How... how big is it?"
Cethaz put her hands behind her head and smiled. "Well, Parisa, I'm not exactly a size queen, but it goes all the way in and that's all that matters to me."
Nasrin said, "What does he like having done to him?"
"He can't get enough of it when I suck on his nipple! It seems a little... unmanly but-"
Cethaz felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Cethie, I thought you weren't supposed to talk about our... private time together with your friends."
"Aatos? You're back from the latrine?"
"I heard everything from when you told them about my penis. I think that you've had a little too much to drink."
"I was just getting started!"
"Come on, Cethaz, we need to go back to the apartment." Aatos took her by the hand and walked her towards the door. He was surprised by how easy it was for him to do this; even though she was incredibly strong, most of her power just went away when she was drunk.
-----
"Okay, Ceth, I think we need to talk."
The two of them were back in Aatos' apartment. It was a clean, orderly place, with bookshelves filled with dwarven and elven tomes. Aatos was a translator who worked in Ardaroun's Imperial library and his belongings reflected this.
"Oh, we don't need to talk when we can have some hot lovin'! Come here, honey!"
Aatos frowned. "I don't think that you're in any state for that."
"Sure I am!"
"Cethie, I want you to show me that you're coherent enough to agree to sex." He took out a quill and some parchment from his desk. "I want you to write your name here to show that you're in control of yourself."
"Oh, that'll be easy," Cethaz said. She stumbled over to the desk and confidently wrote on the vellum. Aatos looked at it; while he loved all the curves in Dwarvish script, he was completely unable to read anything in the mess of squiggles that Cethaz had scrawled.
"I think that you just need to go to bed, honey."
Cethaz stuck out her tongue. "Fine, be that way." She staggered onto the bed and fell on it face down; within a minute, Aatos heard her gentle snoring. He stripped naked, got into the bed next to her, closed his eyes and was soon asleep himself.
-----
"Ughhhhh, what did I do last night?"
Aatos was awoken by his girlfriend's groan.
"How do you feel, Cethie?"
"It's like there's a herd of wild cattle stampeding through my head. But I've still got to report for duty for the city guard today." She sighed and picked herself up off of the bed, and stripped off her dress so that Aatos could put on her armor. "But what did I do last night?"
"We went to the bar with your friends and you got drunk and talked about our... private time. I'm not happy with that."
Cethaz paused. "Wait, I said that? There's a part of me that wishes I could brag about all the awesome sex that we're having, but I know you wouldn't want me to talk about it."
"Yes, you did." Aatos began putting on the heavier parts of her city guard's armor that she couldn't handle by herself.
"I... I'm so sorry."
Aatos said, "I think we need to talk about your drinking. I think you should be a bit more... moderate at the bar from now on. I don't want to seem too controlling but it bothered me a lot that you let stuff like that slip."
"I get what you're saying, Aatos. I'll limit myself to a glass or two if it would hurt our relationship."
"That's why I don't drink at all- the idea of losing control over myself is kind of scary to me."
Cethaz finished dressing by putting on her helmet. "Yeah, I can see how you wouldn't like that." She sighed.
Aatos said, "I'm also terrified of blacking out- the idea that I could have done something that I can't even remember is another reason I don't drink." By now, he had finished dressing himself and Cethaz was heading out the door.
"I'll see you later tonight, honey. But I want to have some... special time with you to make up for last night."
"That sounds great. See you."
-----
Cethaz was lying down on the bed, reading a book of epic dwarven poetry that she had taken from Aatos' shelf. She was wearing the tunic that she wore under her armor, because she knew that Aatos liked taking her clothes off when they made love. She was anxious; it wasn't normal for him to be this late coming home. Then she heard the door open, and she looked towards it to see him carrying a bottle of wine.
"Hi, Cethie!"
"Hi, Willow! Ooh, is that for me?"
"Yes, it's some fine Lufani wine."
Cethaz said, "Isn't that kind of expensive?" Whenever she went out drinking with her friends, she always got the cheapest wine they had.
"Oh, I saved up for it. Do you want some?"
"You bet!"
Aatos took a glass and a corkscrew out of his cupboard and set the glass down on his bedside table. He took the corkscrew and turned it until he had brought it out of the bottle's neck, and then he poured the wine into her glass.
"I'll just have one glass tonight, I don't want to be too incoherent for... well, you know." Cethaz picked up the glass of ruby-red liquid and downed it in one gulp.
"You never were the type to drink daintily," Aatos said.