6.
"So, any news..?"
Janet chewed her bottom lip nervously, trying to figure out how to respond to Samantha's text. It'd been over a month now, and she still hadn't gotten up the nerve to tell her roommate that she hadn't even gone through with it. She felt like a total fraud every time the subject came up.
She settled on deflecting, typing back 'No' with a frowny face. Then she followed up:
"I don't think it worked."
Nearly simultaneously, an incoming response came back:
"Maybe it didn't work this time."
Hmmm
, Janet thought. After the "donation" night, she'd been extremely worried about the way Samantha had practically fled from the apartment, concerned that going through with The Idea might have done some real lasting damage to their friendship. She could only think of one other moment in their history that even came close... and this dwarfed that by comparison. After all, the imposition was significant and dramatic. Her best friend had altered her very anatomy to help her. She was willing to give her genetic material to Janet and bring a new life into the world, one that shared both of their DNA.
As the weeks passed, Janet had become increasingly uneasy. Now, really, the concerns were two-fold; worries over the awkwardness of having made the request in the first place, the lines that had been crossed, and now the trepidation over Samantha's reaction if she were to find out that it had been all for nothing.
But, happily, her fears on the first issue had proved to be unfounded. Their initial interactions had been somewhat forced and stilted, but thereafter, things seemed to settle back to normal. If she really had gone through with the plan, it would have taken a few weeks at minimum for Janet to know whether it had worked, and so not discussing anything prior to then was perfectly natural for the situation.
Much to Janet's surprise, as the days and weeks ticked by, it was actually Samantha who began broaching the subject first, gently probing and asking. And while Janet's concerns about their friendship faded, the anxiety about her secret began to grow.
Compounding that was Janet's vacillating emotions within. Now that she'd had time to come to terms with the overwhelming events they'd undertaken together, she was beginning to feel a crumb of regret at not having gone through with the last step after all. If she'd just gotten over herself and carried the deed out in that one moment, it could have been over and done with. For all she knew, Janet might very well have had news to share at this moment.
But the fact was, she hadn't gone through with it. And now... what? She had to either continue to perpetuate the lie or else come clean. But then... perhaps there was a third option. And potentially a way out of both of her regretful actions. They could just... try again.
It wasn't that easy though, was it? It was an invitation to open the whole can of worms all over again. Ask her best friend to do that? Again? Janet had no idea how she would take it, especially now that they both
really
knew what it entailed. Maybe she could just ride it out and let it fade.
'Whelp, nothing ever came of it! Oh well... let's just forget about it!'
Or maybe she should just come clean...
The problem with either of those approaches though... What if she really did want to go through with this after all? Either course would close the door on that avenue, and the latter seemed likely to close it with a really loud slam.
Janet stared down at her phone, thoughts whirling about; could she ask, how would she do it, did she even want to..?
And then Janet's phone buzzed and dinged in her hand, right before her eyes.
The incoming text message from Samantha read:
"Want to try again?"
***
"Hey," Samantha greeted cheerily, walking in the door. She and Janet hugged warmly.
"Thank you," Janet said. "Thank you for doing this."
"It's nothing," she replied, pulling off her coat and tossing it over a chair. They stood there for a moment, neither of them saying anything.
"Should we uh... get started..?" Samantha asked, breaking the pause.
"Um... sure! Yea.. alright! Everything's right there, same as before."
"OK," Samantha replied affably. "Just, uh... wait here! I'll be right out..."
She entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind herself, locking it and then letting out a deep breath.
Finally, finally
... she promptly grabbed the box and shook out the blister pack of pills, pushing out a blue one with slightly trembling hands. It'd been so long, so many days and weeks...
At first, Samantha had tried to push it all away, reject it, bury it. Taking the pill was the craziest, most fucked up thing she'd ever done, she'd told herself. She would never do that again. Janet could get down on her hands and knees and beg and she'd refuse.
