This is my very first story for Literotica. It's also my first piece of erotic fiction. Any feedback is appreciated, since I'm really not sure if I'm any good at this type of writing (or writing in general).
The story is a little bit of a slow build, but hopefully the payoff is well worth the effort. A special thanks goes out to author Martha Wells for the obvious inspiration.
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"So, you really don't sleep? Like, ever?"
Stupid questions always annoy me. A lot of things annoy me, to be honest, but stupid questions are near the top of the list - just below alien lifeforms that pulverize my ribcage.
(More on that later.)
"No, I don't sleep, Taylor. I'm here to keep you all alive. I can't exactly do that and sleep at the same time."
Taylor chuckled and leaned back in his chair. He glanced over at his all-muscles-no-brain buddy, Oskar. It was one of those "watch this" looks.
This was not going to end well, and all of the less-stupid crewmembers in the room could sense that.
"What do you do all night then? Just walk around perving on the female crew members? Or maybe just...fucking the toaster?"
(Did I mention that I'm a cyborg? I haven't mentioned that yet, have I? Yeah. I'm totally a cyborg. That would have helped explain Taylor's joke. It wouldn't have made the joke any better, but it would have given you a little context. My bad.)
Within 0.28 seconds, four small panels in my right forearm opened up to expose one of my many, many weapons.
(Seriously, my body has been upgraded with SO many weapons.)
0.63 seconds after that, I had a heavy duty battery weapon aimed at Taylor's stupid nose.
Taylor shrieked, and his urge to distance himself from a weapon that could replace his entire head with a large, empty space caused him to tumble backwards. His chair tipped over, and Taylor banged his head on the caf's floor.
(The caf is our research vessel's cafeteria.)
(In addition to stupid questions, I also hate unnecessary abbreviations. How much time does this crew save by not pronouncing the "-eteria" part? Not enough for me to have to use annoying abbreviations like "the caf.")
Just as Taylor was sprawling to his feet, Captain Milrose entered the caf (ugh).
"Listen up, assholes."
Captain Milrose has such a way with words.
"The seven research probes we sent planet-side are ready for pickup. I need two volunteers to go down there in a pod and retrieve 'em. The volunteers are...Oskar and the GuardBot."
That's me. I'm the GuardBot - a cyborg engineered to keep stupid humans from doing stupid things that would get them killed in a wide variety of stupid ways. I don't really look much different from the rest of the ship's human crew. I mean, you have to get pretty close to see the upgrade panels in my arms. Or on my thighs. Or in my palms. Or my right eye. In my regulation uniform, I look just like another crew member.
I wasn't looking forward to spending any time with Oskar in a pod, on the planet, or anywhere else. I don't even like being on the same ship with him.
Fortunately, Jexx spoke up.
"Sir, those research probes are very sensitive. I'd really like to be there when they're retrieved."
Jexx is the one of the few humans on this ship who doesn't seem to be actively avoiding me.
(I mentioned all the weapons, right? I guess having a crewmember who could sneeze and accidentally create a large hole in your torso tends to make one cautious.)
(Well, the less-stupid ones, anyway. In my defense, I have never given anyone an unplanned torso-blast. Yet.)
Jexx is the lead research scientist on this this ship. In case you're curious, I have no idea what she and the humans are researching. I was in the meetings where the purpose of our trip was discussed in agonizing g detail, but I ignored them.
Milrose scratched his rapidly receding hairline as he considered Jexx's case. "Fine. Jexx and the GuardBot are the volunteers."
As the caf was clearing out, I was marking my recording of the "Taylor fall down go boom" moment to watch again later, in case I needed cheering up or anything. My upgraded cyborg eyes are like digital video recorders - I can record anything I see and play it back later. It comes in handy.
While I was busy bookmarking my video, I failed to notice that Jexx had walked over to talk with me.
"I can't believe it took Taylor 12 sleep cycles to realize cyborgs don't need to sleep," she joked as she watched him leave the caf.
"Yeah, he's...special."
Jexx's face got serious and she looked up into my almost-always serious face.
(It's a cyborg thing. My facial expressions don't change very much. I'm great at poker.)
"Do you have any experience with research probes?"
"I've hit a few people with them," I replied.
"Well, please don't hit anyone with these. Especially since I'll be the only person on the planet. I mean...you know what I mean."
(She meant that I'm not a human person. No offense taken. She was kinda right.)
I gave her my best reassuring smile.
"I'll be there to make sure you're safe. And I promise not to throw a research probe at you."
It was probably more reassuring that I didn't mention having over 398 other ways of killing a human.
The pod was ridiculously small and cramped, which made me even happier that I wasn't with Oskar.
Jexx is definitely smaller than Oskar, but her bulky flight suit took up a lot of room.
At this point, you're probably wondering what Jexx looks like. Fair question. The truth is, she was really pretty. But maybe I'm just partial to her since she treats me like something close to human. She has short, spiky blonde hair that always looks stylishly disheveled, and beautiful blue eyes. But I honestly have no idea what her body is like - she's always wearing her big white lab outfit or a flight suit.
I, on the other hand, don't need a flight suit. I don't need nearly as much oxygen as non-cyborg humans. That comes in handy more often than you wanna think about.
All I needed was my backpack, which was filled with extra batteries, flares, a small medical kit, and a few more weapons. However many weapons you might think you'll need when visiting an uncharted planet, it's always best to pack a few more.
Our pod ride down to the planet was uneventful, which is the best kind of pod ride.
Pod rides can be downright terrifying. Even though 71.6% of my human bits have been replaced or technologically upgraded, a pod crash could destroy those remaining human bits and end me.
We landed on the planet and got out of the not-crashed pod.
(I keep referring to the planet as "the planet" because I have no idea what its actual name is.)
It wasn't a bad planet, as far as planets go. There was enough oxygen that even Jexx wouldn't really need her flight suit, and there were lots of trees and plants and other nature-y things to look at. My map even showed a lake that was just north of our not-crashing spot.
Jexx pulled out her digital assistant device and started looking at all the shiny little pixel-dots.
"We landed in a good place - all seven of the probes are within easy walking distance."
That was good news. I really didn't want to spend more time down here than absolutely necessary. Guarding a human scientist on a strange planet requires much more of my concentration than guarding one on a ship. You're also much less likely to encounter a ribcage-pulverizing alien lifeform on a ship. So that's a plus.
Jexx sent me the map from her digital assistant device and it showed up in my visual interface.
Another bonus for cyborgs - not having to carry around any digital devices. Everything digital goes straight into my personal display, right there with my infrared sensors, radiation detectors, motion sensors, hazard warnings, and geolocation visuals. I even get HBO in here.
(Yes, HBO is still a thing. I know. It surprises me, too.)
And speaking of all those handy little upgrades...
"I'm not picking up any lifeforms or hazard warnings. Looks like we're clear as long as we stay within a three kilometer radius."
Jexx looked overly relieved.