Did Wican Incantations Work

When we got married Elise had only had sex with 5 men. They were the man who took her virginity at a party, a University student, a 3some with 2 men and then me.

After we wed my wife told me that she only rates me as "adequate" in bed. Apparently I rank last in her list of lovers.

My wife's affairs started just 3 months after our marriage. She met Raymond secretly for sex. He wanted to film her having sex with other men. She wanted more lovers. So she agreed to be filmed being fucked by many men.

I hate Elise and Raymond. I wish that bad luck pours down on them. But it hasn't.

MY DRINKING

My wife and Raymond spent evenings together. I took solace by drinking.

I lost interest in work and only did the minimum. I used to get bonus money and a "fitted got promotion" on my Annual Written Assessment. Not now.

I went to a dingy "spit and sawdust" bar because my workmates wouldn't be seen dead in it. The drinks were cheap. I drink cheap "rot gut" whisky at home. I was a solo drinker, which is a bad sign.

Provided my drinking didn't interfere too much with my work I wasn't bothered. I used mouth wash so I didn't reek of alcohol. I sweated more easily. I put on weight. I stopped taking exercise.

I hated sitting at the bar hoping to strike up a conversation with someone. But anything was better than yet another night alone waiting for Elise to return.

THE ADVERT

I got one of those internet ads. It read

"Are you tired of a second rate existence? Do you want a life-long happy marriage?

We can help.

Email betterlife1234@hotmail.com for a free consultation."

I sent Better Life an email.

By return Better Life sent me an email which explained "We use Ancient Wican magic to alleviate unhappy marriages. This is not a scam.

The Wican priest, Miura, s a recluse and his needs are few.

He would incant on my behalf, providing I confirmed that I would allow Miura to incant on my behalf.

The email also had a questionnaire, which I completed honestly and secretly.

A week later I received a reply email from Priest Miura.

It read "Stay with Elise and you will have a happy life-long marriage."

I thought that perhaps Elise would suddenly jettison jer lifestyle and be a proper wife.

Despite my hope I continued to drink heavily.

TWO MONTHS LATER

There are over 100 of us working in Sero Ltd. This excludes the sales people. Fiona was one of them. I vaguely remember signing her condolence card. I knew her by sight but not much else.

I was killing time in a pub. I was surprised when Fiona sat down next to me. I had never seen her in the pub before.

We talked about inconsequential things. Because of her slim frame her B-cup breasts were impressive. She knew I wasn't paying attention to her face.

Some scantly clad women chatted with guys sitting at other tables.

Fiona said "For those youngsters this bar is just a meat market."

I said "I wish I was their age. They have a future to look forward to."

Fiona said "They only live one day at a time, just like you and me. Half of them will get divorced. And half of those who stay married will regret getting hitched."

They will get to be like you."

I said "So you know about my marriage difficulties?"

Fiona said "Everyone does. Your wife is not discrete. I am here on what the Americans call an intervention.

We all think your wife is treating you shamefully. We all think you sre mad to put up with her bedding multiple other men.

But you are drinking far too much. You risk getting the sack if you don't moderate your drinking."

DEFLECTION

I knew Fiona was right. But I didn't want to acknowledge it.

So I said "We each have our own cross to bear. What's your burden?'

Fiona said "Eddie died nearly 2 years ago. I miss him every day. He was great company. He was a local councillor. The Mayor read the eulogy, standing there in his full mayoral costume and golden chain of office. It was.."

She stopped to wipe away her tears.

She continued "Silly me. Talking about Eddie still makes me emotional. You don't need to listen to an old woman prattling on."

I said "I think it an honour that an attractive woman shares her deepest feelings with me. Feel free to unburden all those repressed emotions."

She said "You and I are both grieving. I cry.. You are almost an alcoholic."

I replied "I just come here for a quiet drink."

She said assertively "And to stay all night, wallowing in self-pity. Your life is slipping away. That's why you drink"

I couldn't deny what Fiona was saying.

Fiona said loudly "Your wife isn't treating you properly. Too fucking bad. You sit here wasting your life because you are being cuckolded. You do nothing to make yourself attractive to women."

She said more loudly "What a fucking wanker you are."

The barman came over and said "Madam please mind your language."

Fiona apologised.

He then said to me "Listen to her. She's giving you good advice."

DECISION DAY

Fiona said "Today is decision day.bIngivr you 2 options.

Option 1 - you can end up a street drinker pissing in your trousers and begging passers by for their small change."

O asked "And what is option 2?"

She continued "Option 2 - you give up drinking and can leave this bar with me now. And I do mean NOW."

Fiona took my hand. We had to pass by the amazed youngsters. Here was a 50 year old woman who had just picked up a 25 year old toy boy.

LOVERS

It wasn't long before Fiona and I had playful, pleasurable sex. She appreciated making love to a man who was half her age. I appreciated that she was so responsive. I had better quality sex with Fiona than I ever had with Elise.

I said "Your intervention was shown me that I have been living a second rate life. It may take me years to stop my addiction to alcohol. But I want to live with you and, once the divorce is finalised to marry you."

Fiona said "I think you will conquer your addiction. And I'm happy for you to make an honest woman of me."

I said "A Wican priest promised me a life-long happy marriage. I imagined it would be with Elise, but I see destiny meant us to be together."

Fiona said "My intervention was a happy coincidence. You were lonely and so was I."

I said "It certainly was a happy event."

We went to bed.