Deus Ex Machina

Getting out of the pool wasn't easy, as Lisa's tits were even larger now, and were slick from the pool. Finally, I spread an extra-large beach towel out right at the edge of the pool, and we were able to heave one boob at a time onto the towel. I tied the two corners closest to her ribs behind her neck, and carried the two farther corners, basically carrying her tits in a sling. It made the biggest push-up bra you've ever seen in your life. She also held her boobs from underneath, to take some of the weight off her neck.

I minimized my dick, which made it "only" about three something feet erect, and around two feet long soft. Carrying Lisa's gigantic tits, it took a lot of concentration to keep myself flaccid, and then it swung around so much that it kept getting in the way, hitting against my knees, wrapping around my legs, starting to pop up. Neither one of us could see below Lisa's chest, but she felt my unruly dick swinging against her as we started walking toward the house, and asked "what's going on down there?"

I looked up from her tits, which were absorbing the other half of my attention - I know that it would have been easier to stay flaccid if I wasn't staring at the largest tits on the planet, but it was very difficult to look away.

"Just swinging around."

"Well, just make it longer, and sling it around your neck."

"Uh, OK." Duh. I maximized, making my flaccid cock about five feet long.

"Uh, my hands are kind of full, would you mind?" I really couldn't let go of the towel with either hand.

"Of course," she smiled. One hand traced sensuously down my torso, hunting lazily back and forth until it stumbled on the root of my cock, as if by accident. Slowly, she drew the thick shaft towards her, letting it slide through her hand until the middle of my cock was in contact with her soft tummy. Gently pressing it against her, she slid her hand up along her torso, reaching the towel, then sideways along the towel clear around her left boob, finally pulling up the full length, and draping it sideways across her tits.

"Oh, but it isn't around your neck. Wait."

She pulled the shaft back, dragging it across the top of her tits until she had the head. Then she threaded the shaft around my arm, so that my dick was coming up directly between my arms, between my chest and hers. Taking the head in one hand and grasping the shaft a few feet farther down in the other hand, she made a fat loop, which she slipped over my head. The shaft, even flaccid, was long enough to go around my neck and still reach all the way back to the base of her neck, lying in her cleavage. Every movement was slow and languid. Finally releasing my cock, she replaced her hands beneath her boobs and squeezed them up, so that my cock disappeared into her cleavage.

"You aren't making this easy, you know."

"I prefer to make things

hard

."

Did I mention she was a real tease?

I struggled to keep from springing erect, figuring that my cock would whip around my neck and smack into a wall, or knock over a vase. I was glancing back over my shoulder, to see what I was going to knock over.

"Don't worry, I've got a good grip on it," she said, squeezing her tits again. I had to close my eyes, because watching my immense shaft disappearing and reappearing between her gigantic boobs, pushing up far enough to cover half her face, was too erotic, too stimulating, too irresistible.

Her grip wasn't good enough. I felt the shaft swelling around the side and back of my neck, and opened my eyes to see the shaft lift clear of her cleavage, swing around my left side, and erect fully straight up in front of me. Lisa lunged forward so that my shaft was pinned between her mammoth tits and my chest. "We'd better get you to bed" she said, peering around the shaft.

"I'm not going to clear the doorway like this."

It was true: ten feet of cock, carried vertically about three feet off the ground, does not go through a seven-foot doorway.

"Then I'll just have to get you off here."

"Do you want me to make it smaller? You can't reach the end."

"No." she pressed herself against me, squeezing her massive boobs around my shaft, stroking and licking the shaft as far up as she could reach, then concentrating on massaging my dick with her boobs. The mere sight of that much titflesh massaging my cock was almost as stimulating as the sensation itself, and the sensation was incredible. Ten minutes later, I was spurting cum high into the air. Finally satisfied, I was able to go flaccid, and my cock descended to drape over Lisa's boobs and shoulder, hanging part way down her back.

"Ok, now let's get into the house. My arms are getting tired."

* * * * * *

We ordered Thai food for lunch. I discovered that "spicy" Thai food in Los Angeles comes from a completely different planet than the "spicy" Thai food in Chicago. An order of magnitude. My mouth was on fire, which Lisa found amusing. I ate tons of rice, and drank a couple of beers trying to quench it.

I had a sudden curiosity. "Say, where is your g spot?"

"What?"

"I mean, like, is it a couple inches from your lips, or is it like three feet in?"

She shrugged. "Actually, I have more than one. My vagina essentially repeats over and over again, like every seven or eight inches. That's how the 'hyperdimension' thingy apparently works. I guess in theory, I might have an infinite number of them. The longer you are, the more of them you hit."

Well no wonder she was looking for really long guys!

After lunch, it occurred to me that my car was still parked downtown.

"Oh shit! I need to go get my car."

"I'm not sure I can drive. Tell you what, I'll call you a cab. Come back here tonight, and I'll make dinner for us. If you don't have any other plans."

"Sounds good to me."

By this point, Lisa had become accustomed to the weight of her chest, and was able to stand and walk, if not with the same coordination as before. She dialed a taxi service, and told me my ride would be here in about 45 minutes.

"45 minutes?"

"We're not exactly downtown here. Now come on - you have just enough time for a shower."

What she really meant was that

we

had just enough time for a shower. I mean, I can get clean in five minutes in the shower, but with help it can take much longer.

Especially when someone is helping you with their wet, sensuous mouth.

Especially when that someone's mouth was just recently full of

very

spicy Thai food. In retrospect, I should have expected it. After all, my own mouth still felt somewhere between "raging inferno" and "numb with pain." She had taken a lot more of the really spicy stuff, obviously used to it.

We got into the shower, which was the size of a small room all by itself - the word "stall" is completely inappropriate. I did mention that this was an expensive house, right? Anyway, she led me into the bathroom, and into the shower by my cock, a very sensitive (if heavy) leash. Once in the shower, she began by washing her hair, which had more than a little dried cum in it. The arm motions, with her hands in her hair, caused her boobs to jiggle and sway entrancingly. I figured I was obliged to hold them for her, and might as well soap them up.

And then, of course, I didn't see any reason not to let myself go hard (although I kept it at minimum), and soon had a three-and-a-half-foot boner nestled between humongous soapy tits, and sliding back and forth past her cheek. She rinsed her hair off, and said "why don't you slide that down a bit lower?" with a sultry expression.

I had to kneel down to bring the tip low enough for her to reach with her mouth. She took the shaft with both hands, and quickly stuffed the entire head and several inches of shaft into her mouth. Pain! I could not believe the burning sensation! Her mouth must have been on fire, and now the sensitive head of my cock was as well. Paradoxically, though, I was instantly extremely rigid. The veins stood out all along my shaft, and I couldn't resist letting the head and shaft swell out to maximum width. I couldn't see it, but I knew that the head must be a dark purple. The rest of me was sweating under the intense sensation.

And then, it wasn't so bad. In fact, the intensity was

really

erotic, and she quickly brought me off again. It actually took me by surprise, and I forgot to "turn off" the breast expansion. Humming with contentment, she pulled up on my shaft, bringing me back to standing while keeping me in her mouth, so that over a foot of shaft was disappearing between her lips. She managed to reach the soap, lathered up her hands, and then handed the soap to me. I did likewise, and we spent the next 15 or 20 minutes fondling and lathering up each other's bodies, while she sucked all the while. I came again. Then she pushed down on my shaft, so I assumed she wanted to disengage, and kneeled so that she could. As soon as I was clear, she turned around, passed my cock under her leg, and brought it back up between her tits. "OK, let's have a couple more feet."

Still kneeling, I expanded a few feet longer, and felt my cock disappearing into her mouth again. Now she was in position to grind her pussy against the length of my shaft while she sucked. I slowly stood up, sliding even further into her mouth. Bracing myself against the wall of the shower, I stood all the way up, taking her entire weight on my cock, then reaching around her to hold her tits firmly against my shaft. She sucked and squirmed, rubbing her pussy against my cock rhythmically, hauling herself up and down a bit using her firm, two-handed grip on my shaft. A few more minutes was all it took to satisfy us both.

I barely had time to get dressed before the taxi showed up. I managed to find all my clothes, although there was no sign of all the cards that had been put in my pockets and shirt. Hmmm, avoiding the competition, I thought.

I had lost count of the blowjobs, but even at minimum now I could not reach all the way to the end of my erect dick. Maximized, I estimated the length at about twelve feet. Shit. This time yesterday, my minimum length was a nice, fuckable 8", and the max an impressive two feet. Now, my minimum was at least twice my previous max, and the max was suitable for maybe fucking blue whales. I dropped to flaccid, resulting in an eight-foot snake that stretched clear across the king size bed and draped over the other side. I minimized, shrinking down to something under three feet.

Out of curiosity, I grabbed the tape measure, and found I was 32" at my absolute smallest. Hell, that was the length of my

inseam

. "Good thing I wore socks," I thought, but quickly discovered that there wasn't room in my sock for both my ankle and the head of my cock, even a minimum flaccid. I couldn't fit it all into my underwear, so I tried just running it down my left leg. Hell, I'd have to walk on tip-toe to keep it off the ground, or risk stepping on it. Eventually, I figured out I could run it

up

over the waistband of my underwear, and then down my pants leg, which took up enough slack to keep it off the pavement. It did make for an odd bulge in the front of my pants, but that couldn't be helped. Good thing they were pretty baggy already.

When the taxi driver buzzed at the front door, Lisa gave him the address of the size club, and told him the charge was on her account over her intercom. I came out and jumped into the cab.

The taxi driver looked in the rearview mirror, sized up the state of my clothes and my apparent exhaustion, and said "So, you get the special treatment? She make a good breakfast?"

I laughed. "Breakfast and lunch."

"Hoo hoo!" said the driver. He continued on, but I paid little attention. Actually, I was not feeling too well, between not really sleeping the previous night, the winding roads (which the driver took at speed), and the return of the burning sensation on the head of my cock. The driver woke me up in front of the club. I tipped him another $10, and got out. Then I realized that I hadn't parked there last night: I'd parked several blocks away, and walked from club to club, hitting two bars before this one. I looked around to get my bearings (the entire neighborhood looked a lot different in mid-afternoon), and then set off to reclaim my Porsche.