Devilla
I woke up the next morning to find Abigail in my arms, her tail wrapped around my thigh. I hesitated a moment before choosing to wake her with a kiss upon her forehead.
"Mmm...?" she murmured in her sleep, her tail squeezing my thigh a little before loosening up as she stretched her arms towards the ceiling.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," I told her, giving her a small smile as she blinked the sleepiness away. "I hope you don't mind the chaste kiss, but I thought it best to ask before moving on to more... intimate areas."
"You've been spending too much time with humans if you think I'd mind that," Abigail replied. I got the distinct sense that she was rolling her eyes at me. Not that I could ever hope to prove it.
"They're actually not as repressed as you'd think." I informed her. "At least, not compared to those on Earth. I suppose it's that world that's influencing me, more than anything - my past self was always told to ensure consent before touching anyone inappropriately."
"And you think kissing me on my tits is
inappropriate?!"
Abigail questioned me in shock. "Why? It sounds like a pretty good way to start the day to me!"
"Not everyone thinks like that, Abigail," I warned her before frowning. "Or at least not every
human
thinks like that. I don't think..."
"You don't
think?"
"Well, it's not as if I've held a survey in this world, or anything, but so long as I don't
know
I think it's best to err on the side of caution."
"That's..." Abigail paused before sighing. "Probably smart, I guess? It just seems like a pretty big deal over nothing to me."
"But it might be important to the other party," I warned her. Of course, I had no idea how high or low the risk of that was among
demons.
To humans - or at least the humans of Earth - sex was considered something intimate, almost sacred. To us demons, it was simply a fun activity. Consent for it was little different than "consenting" to a game of cards. Yet, despite that, I couldn't deny that forcing one was far worse than forcing the other. That was enough of a reason for me to consider asking prior to acting the best policy.
"I guess," Abigail conceded with a shrug. "Guess that means I should be asking you what you're okay with, then?"
"Pretty much anything, so long as it's pleasurable," I informed her. "Though I would hope you'd avoid starting anything you're unable to finish."
"Why wouldn't I be able to finish?" Abigail asked with a teasing smirk on her lips. She reached for me as she spoke, but I caught her hand and shook my head.
"I have to get back to my tent before the others discover my absence," I told her.
"Right... The others. Grell and Dyona, right?" Abigail asked, no doubt thinking back to one of the discussions we'd had over dinner. She was as up to date on my adventures as anyone. "I don't think you need to worry about Grell, but Dyona sounds like the sort who might cause trouble."
"I think she has too healthy a respect for 'the Heroine' to start anything... It's Grell who concerns me. If she
did
somehow notice something, I fear she's liable to blurt it out without a second thought."
"Blurt it out to
who
, though? Grell and Lucy are the only people with you, right?"
"Until we reach the city. Grell is keeping secrets about her own identity - poorly, I might add, - and while I'm hardly in a position to judge her for it, I can still be a little wary of it when it comes to this."
"Fine, fine," Abigail sighed before waving me away. "Go back to your girlfriend."
"My
other
girlfriend, you mean?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. I tried to sound confident, but when Abigail's only response was to blink at me I couldn't keep the blood from flushing my cheeks.
Apparently
my body's adaptability had some annoying limitations. "I-I mean, if you're willing to accept such a label. I'd understand if you'd rather not-"
"No!" Abigail interrupted. "I mean, I just... didn't expect you to come out and say it like that. Isn't it a bit early?"
"It might have been our first date, Abigail, but it's hardly our first
meeting.
While I may have never dared to think of you in a romantic light before, I
have
known for some time that I want you by my side. I treasure your presence in my life, Abigail. I want it to continue whether it be as lovers or friends."
"So what? You want to be my girlfriend so that I'll stick around by your side?"
"I'd be lying if I said that wasn't a factor, but the main reason I want you as my girlfriend is because I
care
about you," I told her, trying not to flinch. I knew that Abigail meant no harm. This was just her response to the same uncertainty and fear I myself felt - the worry that things might be ruined and that our current happiness would shatter. "I don't entirely know my own heart when it comes to you. I know I treasure you. That I rely on you. That I care for you, and that I want you to remain forever by my side... It's a type of love, I'm sure, yet as for whether it's the love you seek... I'm still too inexperienced to say."
"Inexperienced?" Abigail demanded. "What about Lucy?"
"You think I haven't suffered the same problems there?" I asked her. "My desire for her presence is only matched by my fear of losing her, and yet at the same time some part of me wonders if I'm not just using her to make myself feel better until the day she abandons me. Another part of me even thinks that it's fine if I am. Surely I'll receive my comeuppance in due time when she sees through me and tires of my parasitic presence."
"...Devilla..."
I closed my eyes. The pain in her tone, the pity in her voice - I couldn't face it. "I am the worst person I know, Abigail, no matter what everyone says to the contrary... and yet, despite it all, you both see something else in me. Something I desperately want to believe is there, if only for the sake of those who put up with me on behalf of its presence."
"Devilla," Abigail said, again, a bit more firmly this time.
"All I'm saying is that if you're willing to put up with me... I'd be honored to be your girlfriend. Whatever pain might come down the line is worth it."
"Devilla!" Abigail all but screamed in my ear, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me a bit as my eyes flew open. "For the love of Luci, stop using the fact that people fucking
care about you
as a reason to hate yourself more! Love isn't something you have to
earn,
and it sure as hell isn't anything you need to
pay for
with an 'inevitable' breakup or whatever other misery you seem to think you deserve! You are
