Deep Space Biology

Hello, my name is Xavi Perrier, and i'm an extraterrestrial xenobiologist specialising in the life cycles of complex life-forms on Praxis Major, the recently resettled planet on in the Glacis system. I have been engaged in field work there for the last five years, and it has been an amazing experience.

Praxis Major (PM for short) is a planet that was colonised by humans 600,000 years ago, but the human race there suffered de-evolution and the descendents of those colonists now form a species we call Homo Colonisas, and although they still retain substantially the anatomy of a member of the Homo Erectus family, and most of the genetic code too, they are mute creatures who have lost the use of language and most tool-making skills, and tend to walk around eating fruit vegetation like herd animals. Attempts to 'recivilise' them were abandoned a while ago because it is quite obvious that the mental faculties just aren't there anymore, they're not merely dormant.

What is most interesting about the planet is the way the ecology has evolved to integrate the Colonisas people. On PM, a fascinating twist on typical biology has taken place where there are host of relationships which should be classified as 'parasitic', but occur between very large and complex lifeforms.

The great thing, from the point of view of a biologist, is that in field work we can gain absolutely first-hand experience of what's going on simply by posing as one of the Colonisas people, and interacting with the other species. This is not a job for the faint-hearted, but I have a very dedicated team and it has proved to be a rewarding experience and we have learned a lot in the process.

From what we can tell, the arrival of humans on PM introduced an enrichment of the natural ecology due to our very different physiology, so the by-products of the human race - our fluids, faeces, discarded skin and hair and other things - are all rich in minerals that the extant lifeforms did not produce in any great quantities and so were in high demand. The Colonisas people retain this physiology, and the other flora and fauna use them to gain additional nutrition and related things.

The de-evolution of the Colonisas people essentially made them more available to the wildlife, as they became less and less capable of defending themselves and fending off attacks. The Colonisas now have the status of any other animal on PM, having a limited and balanced ability to defend themselves versus challenging life-forms.

So when we go out in the field, we can't put up much of a fight, we have to largely put up with whatever comes up to us. This means that, like the Colonisas people, we have to wander around naked most of the time. So please excuse the nudity that will appear in some of these slides.

I'm going to outline some of the species that we have found which leverage this unique relationship between themselves and the near-human Colonisas.

First up, on this slide you can see some large parasitic worms that grow in the lakes of PM. These are prevalent in fresh-water lakes where Colonisas bathe.

Unlike terrestrial parasites, they don't actually grow inside humans, they crawl inside humans to harvest food and then crawl out again, so they live in the lakes.

Bathing on PM invariably attracts these. They're just an irritation if you're wearing a bathing costume, but if you're naked they will violate you, but it's not actually a bad thing if they do.

These worms are about two inches in length and are fat - about a thumb's width. If you dwell in fresh water for any length of time, they will seek out any orifice on your body and attempt to enter by the dozen, so swimming with your head under water is generally a bad idea.

However, what they really want is your anus and, if you're a female, your vagina. They will use their sticky pseudopodia to grasp your skin and squirm inside either hole, and once there they will begin to harvest any bio-fluids or waste products they can find. They won't generally go too far up your colon because they want to be able to leave again, but they give you a free and very effective colonic cleanout - it's vey therapeutic! And in your vagina they collect up pussy juice - excuse my language. They squirm about a lot and it's ticklish and quite stimulating!

This is a photo of my colleagues and I relaxing in a warm spa pond on PM, enjoying the "service" if you will. Big smiles all round. The next photo is of my pussy, which i'm pulling open to show you how full of worms it was - they really pack in there. I was giggling uncontrollably but you can't see that... The final one is of everyone squatting and expelling the worms on the shore - a very strange scene.

Moving on, this animal here is the Quadeye Bear - a bear-like quadruped with four eyes that lives in forested areas. It is carnivorous and eats smaller animals - anything about the size of a rabbit. It is of no threat to the Colonisas. Indeed, it will protect Colonisas from true predators because it needs them very much, not for their own nutrition, but for its young.

What's interesting about the Quadeye is the very low level of sexual dimorphism it exhibits. Male and female Quadeyes are almost impossible to tell apart from a distance, even if you can see their genitalia.

The Quadeyes' symbiosis with Homo Colonisas is so complete, that they have completely abandoned the gestation and nursing of their own young, and entrusted this role to Colonisas females. Because the human womb is just so much more fertile and rich in oxygen and iron than the Quadeyes' ancestors, this allows them to breed much more quickly and has improved the fortunes of the species.

Therefore, the female Quadeye has no womb at all, and females, like males, sport phalluses as genitals instead, while their ovaries are contained in a scrotum the same as a male's testicles.

The Quadeye females and males generally form pair-bonds for two to three years, and in these pair-bonds they engage in a hunting-mating endeavour for Colonisas women. The female will usually initiate the hunt, and she will prowl the forest for a woman, pouncing and wrestling her to the ground and pinning her down. Once this has happened, she will emit a unique mating call which attracts her mate to the scene.

While their dimorphism is startlingly low, there are differences between the male and female phallus. The male phallus exhibits typical characteristics, having a phallic bone, testicles, strong muscles that engorge when aroused and the urethra running from the bladder and seminal glands through its length. It is about 10 inches in length.

The female phallus is slightly shorter, about 9 inches, and has a phallic bone. But at its end it has a flexible needle-point about half a centimetre across. Its purpose is to actually penetrate the womb of a woman.

So once the male is on the scene, the female will start fucking the woman she has pinned down in a doggy-style position. This is quite a slow process and it seems the female likes the woman's vagina to be quite wet before she starts fucking in earnest. She will thrust inwards shallowly at first, but at a certain point will force her phallus up and in, and start searching for the cervix of the woman, and maneuvre the point of her phallus through it. Once there, she will ejaculate, much like a male, but the ejaculate will carry between one and three eggs rather than semen. The female then withdraws.

The female keeps supressing the woman until the male Quadeye has mounted her, and then will often nuzzle her head behind the woman below the male's stomach and lick the labia of the woman quite tenderly, apparently to make the process easier for the male. The male will hold the woman firmly by the hips using his paws and squeeze her against his belly. He then fucks the woman quite hard for about 10 minutes, after which he ejaculates a very large amount of semen into her - usually half a litre or more!

So, I've been lucky enough to have encountered some Quadeyes in heat out in the field, and here you can see some photos - taken by my colleagues - of me being taken by the female. As you can see from the look on my face, it's quite an intense and surprising experience! The next few photos show the female dismounting me and the male mounting in her place. The bears can be quite rough and their claws scratched me up around my hips a bit, but otherwise I was unharmed and quite exhilarated, because the impregnation was successful and I actually bore their baby!

Once the bears were done with me that was pretty much the last I saw of them, they just scampered off into the forest. I was left with a lot of semen flowing out of my pussy and quite exhausted and bruised.

What was that question? Yes, I did come - twice actually. Their cocks have a lot of texture and they're huge, they're good fun to have inside you, hehehe.

But anyway, back to biology. The eggs and semen mix in the woman's womb in a typical way, and once this has happened, a quite normal pregnancy ensues, except that it only lasts eight or nine weeks rather than months.

The Quadeyes take advantage of the instincts of Colonisas women to take care of anything that comes out of their wombs, so although the baby bears are born blind, they don't come back to collect them or nurture them - they know the human women will do that. And just looking at this photo of an infant Quadeye, you can see why - isn't he just adorable? This is my baby, shortly after I gave birth. There's only one thing cuter than a fuzzy baby animal with two big eyes looking up at you and that's one with four! The baby bears will suckle on the teat of their surrogate mother for a few weeks, before being strong enough to hunt small rodents, and that's when they leave for the wild.

I tagged my baby before he left me, and he's still out there, doing quite well I think.

As I mentioned the Quadeyes will fight off larger predators of humans in order to protect their 'herd' of surrogate mothers, so the Colonisas people actually tend to live around and among these bears for protection, as bearing bear cubs is a lot preferable to being eaten.

This is one of the ground-dwelling plants of PM - called the squatula. We called it that after we observed Colonisas going up to them and squatting on them - impaling themselves on them, yes - apparently for fun.

Of course, we had to give it a go ourselves, and I can report the results are so good I have no doubt there will be garden aisles in sex stores soon - it is simply the best dildo ever invented.

These plants are semi-mobile, they have a movement organ in their root assembly. Their large cucumber like stem protrudes 12-14 inches above the stump and leaves which support it. It has petal like protruberances at the top and down its length, and furry grass fibres around its base.

If you squat down and insert this up your pussy, then it will start pulsing, twisting and squirming in a marvellously boisterous way. You can also stick it up your ass just as well, if you can take it. I guarantee orgasms as a result - it's like an organic Sybian.

It uses Colonisas to spread its seed - that's the reason for its behaviour. Once it's squirmed around for a while, it'll ejaculate a very gluey mixture of small coin-shaped seeds and gum up into you. This is hard to get out manually, but it will all tend to come out when you menstruate or defecate, and that's how it spreads itself.

This photo here looks like a tangle of vines, flowers, tubers and other things on a mossy waterfall, but it's actually a single organism. What's stranger is we can't actually tell if it's a plant or something else entirely. Given its behaviour, it may just be part of a plant.

This was one of the most intensive field experiences I've had. We call it a "tanglevine", but what it really does is co-opt a human female into its own systems for an extended period of time. Sticking with plant terminology, it is an annual; and during the spring months it will capture and utilise stray females in its annual life cycle, entangling her and keeping her there for four to six weeks.

We had observed this happening to Colonisas females already, and we were incredulous at first that the females weren't simply being killed and consumed. When we observed one actually being released from the tanglevine we were able to write a seminal paper on the creature. One of my colleagues, Karen, also had a run-in with a tanglevine but we cut her out before it could do anything to her. So I'm actually the first biologist to actually deliberately jump into the vine and stay there for the full month, experiencing its behaviour.

What I experienced was absolutely amazing. The tanglevine makes you into a part of itself in every imaginable way. Doubly incredible then, that it actually lets you go when it's done with you.

The tanglevine captures women with its whiplash vines. They will instinctively wrap around you and pull you in here - close to the rocks. The vines will form a type of partial cocoon around you, protecting you from the elements, but with enough holes to breathe, and see out in some directions. We've seen vines with up to four Colonisas females coccooned in them.

It will pull you back against the wall with your knees bent and your arms back, and will start inserting various organs into you. Into your mouth it will put a feeding tube, which will expand in your mouth to seal it - your teeth get gummed into place. It will plug your ears with pads which bring in the sound of running water and little else. It will push soft pads of petals up against the skin of your torso, thighs and buttocks. In your anus, it inserts a long tube which collects up waste, but it never quite stops moving in you.

In your vagina goes all kinds of stuff. Essentially a large bottle-brush type appendage will be pushed up inside, which self moisturises with a greasy gel. This functions as a conduit through which further things travel, so through it will come a lot of thin tendrils of various shapes, colours and tendrils, which will push up into a human womb.

When I was taken in by this thing, the process of filling me up with its tendrils took a couple of hours, and by the end I looked very pregnant. It feels like the vine pushes into every possible nook and cranny of your body, and I actually think that two tendrils may have gone up my fallopian tubes toward my ovaries too, but I can't be sure of that.

Finally, there's also a catheter-like tube that the vine inserts up into your bladder and continuously siphons out any urine.

Now, our understanding of this strange life-form is rudimentary, but it seems obvious that it is using the females, and was using me as a food source, primarily. That is, I didn't detect any signs that it was implanting anything reproductive in my womb or anywhere else. The fact that it produces its own fruit which drops on the ground supports this.

The tanglevine seems to simply place a premium on utilising the physiology of human females to produce substances it cannot produce itself.

For instance, the mouth-tentacle continuously secretes a sweet glucose syrup into your mouth which you have to swallow. It can't all be glucose because I continued to produce ... er ... solid waste over the course of the weeks. The waste it takes out and uses it somewhere, so I think this is a simple case of the plant using me to turn something it can photosynthesise easily - glucose - into something it can't.

Secondly, urea is a rich fertiliser, so I can see its interest in getting that from my urine.

Likewise, a human female's vagina produces a very iron-rich lubricant, and the tanglevine seemed to make every effort to get at that too. When I was tangled up in tanglevine, I had it's brush-phallus thing in me constantly, and it brushed up and down inside me and also against my labia and clitoris whenever I moved even a little bit. It is very easy to get aroused like that as it feels very nice and I could move my hips more than anything else. And given the sheer boredom of being tangled up in that thing for so long and being unable to move, I basically entertained myself with various autoerotic pastimes. You know, seeing how quickly I could bring myself to orgasm, seeing how slowly I could do it, bringing myself to plateau and seeing how long I could stay there. So my days were basically wake up, orgasm a whole bunch, sleep, wake etc etc.

Anyway, the plant seemed only too happy to have me doing this and its leaves and flowers near me seemed to get healthier the more I did it. And it never allowed any of my pussy juices to leak out, so it must have been sponging them up.

I swear that it was doing something to make me hornier too - possibly something in what it was feeding me, maybe one of its scents, or perhaps not and it was just because of being permanently penetrated like that. That's an area I intend to study further.

What is most interesting is what it was doing in my womb. The tendrils in there seemed to be inducing some kind of really accelerated menstrual cycle, where sometime in the evening of every day I would get about half an hour of abdominal cramps and I could feel the tendrils spraying stuff into me, which was then being sluiced out back into the plant's system.

Again, I think that it was harvesting the very iron rich lining of the human womb for additional nutrition. Fascinating, isn't it?

So, I was tangled up in the vine for just over a month, and here are some photos of me in my cocoon. I couldn't really communicate when my colleages came to visit, but I could see out. Here you can see I'm looking a bit distracted, probably entertaining myself in some way, hehehehe! And at the end of the month the vine just pulled out of me completely and lay me on the ground where I sat recovering for a while. It was an arduous experience, but well worth it scientifically.

Here's another plant, called the andropod. It's approach to life is very similar to the tanglevine, except that it chases the by-products of men, not women.

As you can see, the andropod is a large pea-pod shaped thing, or an enormous venus fly-trap. It lurks in ravines and other places where a man might slip and fall into its mouth. It can actually hide in the ground under leaves and snatch anyone who treads onto it. If it senses you're female though, you get spat out again.

Inside the andropod is a humanoid shaped cavity intended to ensure that its prey is lying in the right position. It will open and shut its mouth repeatedly and throw its prey around until they fit.

The inside of the andropod is very warm, moist, and feels and smells like thin, sensitive human flesh. I won't beat around the bush: it's like a vagina, big enough to fit a human. My colleague Arturis has studied this organism up close and he says that it's a very strange and claustrophobic experience being inside, as it feels like you've been shoved up a giantess's jaxie.

The prey is encased and squeezed by the andropod, and it only leaves just enough space to breathe. Then inside there are two more organs to the front and back of the prey. The back has a prong which penetrates the anus of the target - like many other organisms it seems to collect waste. In front, there is a big bud thing about the size of a rockmelon, which latches on to the penis of its prey. The inside of this thing is again the warm moist fleshy stuff.

So the male is trapped inside this flytrap which feels like a vagina, with a further vagina latched on to his cock. The andropod wants his semen for nutritional purposes, but can't actively force him to ejaculate. However, it knows when it has been fed, and won't let its prey go until it has ejaculated a sufficient amount into the bud, so any man trapped in it has to get busy, unless he has colleagues to cut him out.

In any event, Arturis tells me it's quite easy to perform once you work out what's going on - the plant's flesh is a very good simulacrum of a woman's pussy in terms of texture.