It was two days until his "funeral". The castle was a hive of activity as the many household staff geared them up for the event. His mother had appointed a maid, Martha, specifically to his needs. She was sweet, friendly and extremely eager to help in all matters. Which was good because George needed lots of help. He gazed through the closet and sighed.
"Why are women's clothes so uncomfortable?" He asked.
"Aye I know," she laughed with a thick with a nothern accent, "why canna we have loose shirts and trousers like the men ey?"
"I want to personally gut whoever invented the corset," he growled under his breath.
"Whadya say princess?"
"Oh, never mind," he said nonchalantly.
Martha retrieved a green dress from the closet and held it out to him.
"Ya fancy wearing this beauty today?" She asked and he shrugged.
"I love the colours," she said, hopefully.
"Fine, yes that one then," he said.
He shrugged on the dress with Martha's help, and winced as she began to tighten the strings of the corset. He hated corsets, not only because they were uncomfortable, but because they highlighted even further how much his body had changed. He watched in the mirror as his tiny waist was tightened even further and his breasts spill over the top of the bust. It would have drawn his own eye once, now it just made him feel nauseous.
He was to meet his mother this morning for breakfast, at which she intended to teach him further in the manners of a lady and princess. It had been painful so far. He hadn't realised quite how differently princesses were expected to behave compared to princes. He had begun to feel guilty about how he had treated the many princesses he had courted in the past.
As he walked, he practiced the way his mother had shown him over the last few days. Slow, head held high. Ugh, how dull his days were now that this was what filled them, now and forever. He had approached the top of the stairs when he heard his father's voice.
"Sebastian. Good to see you, how was your journey?"
"It was no issue, I have done it many a time now after all."
George peered over the banister, looking down into the hall. Sebastian was handing his coat to a footman as he spoke to his father, who put his arm around him like he had once done for George as he led him into the dining room. Like father and son. He hadn't noticed the absence of this touch until he saw it done to another. Their relationship was different now, a father and a daughter.
He took a deep breath and headed down the stairs, running his hand gently along the banister. He walked just as he had practiced into the room where his mother and father sat. Beside his father, Sebastian had seated himself, the servers bringing out extra plates and cutlery for him to join their meal.
"Good morning Mother, Father," George said as he entered the room, then as he saw Sebastian look up he had to hold in the gasp.
He looked ill, his face was thin and tired, his eyes dull, and he was well overdue a shave. But when their eyes locked, he saw Sebastian's widen in surprise, his mouth opening as if to speak, but nothing came out. He just gazed at him in shocked silence. To save the awkwardness of his surprise, he forced himself into a semi respectable curtesy. "Prince Sebastian."
He was proud of himself for remembering the formalities his mother had shown him, so he was confused as he saw the flash of warning in his mother's eyes as he lifted his head.
Sebastian blinked himself out of his daze and then frowned slightly as he stood, giving a brief formal bow, "Georgiana" he said, "I'm...surprised you remember me after all this time."
Shit. Obviously he wasn't supposed to know who Sebastian was. He had already fallen at the first hurdle. He felt the reddish blush spread across his cheeks.
He threw on his best smile and said, "Oh actually, I'm afraid I don't. The footman informed me of your arrival and I just... put two and two together."
He hoped sincerely that the footman in question was out of earshot. Sebastian seemed at least partially convinced as he said, "of course, I must say it is wonderful to see you looking so well princess."
"Thank you," George said graciously but noted that Sebastian didn't seem to be able to meet his eyes. They both sat down at the table, and his mother gave him a smile that he translated easily to "Well done, that was quick thinking."
"I apologise that I haven't been to visit sooner," Sebastian said, "I- I found it hard to return after... recent events."
"We understand," said his mother softly. "You are welcome here whenever, you know that."
"That is kind of you, but I think after the funeral I will be going away for a while," he said, and George noticed a shake to his hand as he reached for the goblet in front of him.
He knew Sebastian would take his supposed death hard but this was more than he had anticipated. The surprise mingled with a genuine warmth for how much he cared, bringing a prickle of grateful tears to his eyes. He blinked rapidly to clear them and reached for his own glass.
"We're sorry to hear that we won't see you, however travelling is good for a young man of your age. See what the world has to offer before you're tied down," his father said firmly.
"Yes well, George and I had discussed travelling some nearby lands together but it shall be a solo venture now."
George felt his stomach tighten, and the corset began to feel even more constricting than ever as he struggled to keep his breathing even. He had forgotten their late night plans to galavant freely around the kingdoms once the threat of the witches were dealt with. The free ideas of a prince, but as a princess he doubted his parents would give him that luxury. The job of a princess was to get married and sire an heir.
He stilled, suddenly feeling horror wash over him at the thought. Was that what he parents would expect from him now? The sudden realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. Now he was a woman, he would be expected to marry and to continue the royal line. He felt so childish and stupid not to have realised this by now.
He felt hot, and his breathing was getting harder and harder. His head felt dizzy like he was going to faint.
"Excuse me, mother, father, Prince Sebastian," he said as he stood quickly to his feet, shaking the table as he did so. "I am not feeling well, and think I will rest upstairs a while."
He barely waited for a response before almost running from the room. Once in the corridor beyond he continued to run until he was far enough from earshot and opened the door to the first room he could lay his hands on. He wrenched the door open, and once he had checked it was empty, leaned back against the door and took a huge ragged sob. He slid down the door his face in his hands, grief overwhelming him.
There was a knock at the door, gentle. He moved from the door to allow them in, and his mother appeared. She closed the door behind her and joined him on the floor.
"I think you just realised it didn't you?" She asked gently. He nodded and she sighed. "I've been waiting for you to work it out on your own. I didn't have the heart to tell you. But yes, these lessons in being a woman are for more than just secrecy. As a prince you had years of freedom ahead before you had to think about settling down. But you're 27 years old, that makes you old for a Royal bride. I married your father at 22."
"I have to marry someone?"
"Yes. Once the funeral is over and the appropriate grieving period is given, we will throw some balls for you. You've been to them yourself, you know what they are for."
He nodded, he had been to many a ball where kings would delightedly offer their daughters up to him, he would dance with them, flirt with them, maybe even kiss them and then leave. It felt different now he was on the other side.
"Maybe, I thought, you would consider Sebastian?" His mother suggested carefully.
"What?" He said wrinkling his nose. "No. Never, he is like my brother. I can't- I won't-"
"Okay," she hushed, "it's okay, it'll be your choice. But you will need to make a choice. Your father has agreed to give you until your 28th birthday. By then you must be engaged to be wed."
"Or?"
"Or a husband will be chosen for you."
His birthday was in four months time. Four months until he was to be married... to a man.
*
The day of the funeral was surprisingly quick. Not able to attend the service, George found himself finding a quiet spot to read in the morning. He had never used to enjoy reading, but since everything that happened, he quite liked opportunities to lose himself in other worlds, even if only briefly.
After the ceremony was done, he was put into a black gown, of course with a corset, and stood with his parents upon the balcony. Sebastian joined them, but stood further back by the doors. It had been the only time that he had seen him bar meal times during the entire stay.
The people below cheered and waved when he appeared, but the small, respectful smile he returned was forced. Now he had shown himself as the woman he now appeared to be, now the funeral had occured and the empty casket buried under his old name, there was no turning back.
After a quiet lunch, George was allowed to remove the dress and wear something a little less restricting. He requested a walk in the grounds and was given permission as long as he didn't venture too far from the castle and did not under any circumstances leave the grounds.
He walked out into the sunshine, trying to ignore Captain Fell riding out to inform the gatesmen that he was out of the castle. It was all so much more stifling. He used to be able to come and go as he pleased but now..?
He strolled through the grass, enjoying the feeling of the sun on his face. Despite himself, he too enjoyed the feeling of the skirt of his dress flowing in the breeze, the air slipping under the folds of fabric and tickling his legs delicately. He kicked off his shoes, and continued barefoot, carrying shoes in hand, the grass slightly damp under foot. He smiled a genuine smile. For the first time in a while, he felt like he wasn't having to put on an act.
As he wandered nearer to the stables, he thought he would see if his horse, Shadow, was there. He had never thought to ask if the creature had made it back home or whether it too had been lost when he was taken by the witches. He put his shoes back on and wandered from stable to stable, looking in each, then finally in the end stall he saw her.
"Hey girl," he said, leaning over the stall gate. The horse lifted its head and looked at him with its big black eyes. She moved closer, and George gently stroked down her long grey nose.
"Do you remember me?" he asked softly. The horse made a huffing nose and pressed her nose into his chest. He laughed softly.
"Oh I hope that's a yes, maybe I still smell the same, hey girl?"
"Who's there?" A voice called from behind the stables. Then the young stable boy he had seen so long ago emerged.
"Oh, Pr-princess! I'm sorry I didn't know you were coming. Are you wanting a ride?"
"Yes," he said impulsively. "Yes I would love one. I'd like to ride this horse please."
"Um, I don't think that's a good idea. This horse has been rather skittish of late. It was... your brothers horse. She had quite a traumatic time in the woods before getting back to us."
He felt guilt as he looked at the big eyes of his beloved horse.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, stroking her gently. "But I think I'll be fine."
"Forgive me princess but, do you know how to ride?"
"It's been many years but I'm sure I'll remember the basics," he said smoothly and the stable boy nodded.
"Then give me a moment to saddle her."
George leaned against the stable as he waited, closing his eyes as the sun shone on his face, his now fairly long hair blowing slightly in the breeze.
"Georgiana," a voice said. He opened his eyes to see Sebastian strolling towards him, a bag thrown casually over one shoulder.
"Prince Sebastian," he said, he thought that maybe he should curtsey. But his mother wasn't here, so why not let it slide just this once?
"Are you off on a ride?" He asked and Georgiana noticed that he was making eye contact with him now, albeit with a slightly guarded expression. He wondered if this would always be the way he looked at him now. How he missed his bright eyes and loud easy laugh he had taken for granted all the years prior.
