Crusade Gone Awry Ch 02

Colonel Lionheart entered his tent and paused. Standing in the middle of his pavilion was their guide, a fox man. Unlike the vulpines back home his fur was a cream color and very fluffy. He was wearing the loose-fitting clothes that all the desert people were wearing, albeit it had a hole in the back where his puffy tail poked out.

"You must be the commander!" the fox man said, grinning. He had a fox's face and teeth. As disgusted as the colonel was by this, he needed him. The commander walked over to his desk and sat behind it. "Oh I don't have a chair...but that's fine!" Colonel Lionheart glared at the smiling fox. The animal-man was going to be a problem, he could see that already.

"What is your name?" Lionheart asked, not a single ounce of humor in his tone. The fox man bowed.

"My name is Renard sir, of the Fennec tribe." He said. rose up, that toothy grin on his face. "Might I say, I am so happy there is another crusade here. Our economy has been in a slump lately. It's so good to have people come and spend money..."

"Can you lead us to the Demon King's palace or not?" the colonel said, interrupting Renard's monologue.

"Well...no." Renard admitted. "None of us know where it is exactly, but my tribe has spent years traveling the desert. I can show you the paths we use to deliver supplies to the Demon King and warn of the dangers yet to come." The colonel wasn't sure if Renard was telling the truth or not, but it had to be better than waltzing into the desert blind.

"Very well, you have to job." Lionheart said.

"Excellent." Renard replied, rubbing his hands together. "There's just the small matter of my payment." The colonel was getting very tired of people in this land asking him for money. "I was thinking in the realm of...say...fifty gold coins."

"Ten." The colonel said flatly.

"I suppose I could drop it down to...forty." Renard said, holding his hands out as if he were begging.

"You will take twenty or I'll enslave you and you get nothing." Lionheart said, still flat. Renard then grinned once again, although this time he appeared much more nervous.

"Twenty it is."Renard said, sounding fake happy. "I have some bar debts so if I could get an advance..."

"I will give you ten now, ten when we get to the Demon King's mansion."

"There's no guarantee that..."

"I know." The colonel's voice continued to drop lower and lower with every response he gave to Renard. The commander reached into a satchel hanging on the wall and extracted ten gold coins. He slapped them on the table.

"I'm sure it will go well." Renard stated, picking up the money. He had fingers, but there were canine-like pads on his palms as well as fur. The fox man took the coins and shoved them in his pocket. "I must go take care of some business before we leave."

"Be here by dawn or I will track you down." Lionheart said in a threatening tone.

"Of that I have no doubt colonel. Say...you wouldn't happen to know where Captain Fenner went...?" The colonel glared at the fox man once again.

"Captain Fenner has her own duties to attend to and you will not bother her. If you do, I will not be responsible for any damage done to you." The colonel turned back to the papers on his desk. "And she is capable of doing significant damage to those that bother her."

"You lot sure are a fun bunch." Renard said before shrugging and walking out of the tent, his tail flicking as he left. The colonel sighed in exhaustion. He didn't know whether the fox would be an asset or a hindrance. All he knew was, tomorrow as going to be a long day.

A little later, Renard walked into a local tavern. He leaned against the bar, a wide grin on his vulpine face as he waited for the barkeep to see him. Once she finished handing a mug of ale to one customer she turned to Renard. He bat ears twitched and she bared her fangs.

"You've got some nerve coming back here Renard." She hissed. Apart from the ears and fangs, she appeared to be an attractive woman. It was probably the reason Renard gave her an alluring look.

"Don't be that way Hesta!" Renard said, as if he were flirting. "Is this the way you treat me after all those long nights over watered-down ale?"

"So you insult me by acting like we have a relationship and then you insult my ale?" Hesta replied.

"We did have a relationship!" Renard exclaimed

"It was one night and I was drunk." Hesta said, glaring angrily.

"Doesn't mean you didn't like it."

"Either pay your debt or leave."

"Believe it or not..." Renard said as he placed the gold coins he was paid on the table. Quite surprised, Hesta walked over and picked them up.

"This is the gold of those crusaders." She said. She then gave him a suspicious glance. "You didn't steal it did you? I want not part of stolen gold. You know what happens to thieves in this city."

"No worries. They hired me." The fox-man replied

"For what? Having drunken sex with their females?" Hessta said critically. Renard put his thumb to his chest proudly.

"I'm going to be their desert guide." He stated. Hesta abruptly laughed in a very shrill manner, reminiscent of a bat.

"They must want to die more that I thought!" She said through the laughing

"Don't be mean. Come on, I paid you off." Renard said, resuming his begging voice. Hesta looked at the gold in her hand and bobbed it up and down, measuring the weight.

"I'm pretty sure this only covers about half." she said.

"What!? Don't add interest!" Renard complained. Hesta gave him another glare.

"I'm not, you mutt. You owe me for one hundred forty-seven drinks. I wrote it down because I was going to put it on your tombstone."

"You are so cute when you're mad at me." Renard said, giving her a flirtatious point of his finger. Hesta gave the grinning fox a pathetic stare in reply. Silence hung between them as Hesta wasn't sure if she wanted to hit him. Renard only grinned like a fox who got away with theft.

"Is there something else you wanted?" The barkeep asked.

"A drink?" Renard asked hopefully

"Are you kidding me?"

"I might die tomorrow. Come on Hesta! You can put on my tombstone that I owe you...let's see...minus...add one...seventy-four and a half drinks!" Another silence hung in the air. Hesta was waiting to see if Renard was serious about all this or whether he was just a gold thief.

"One drink." she said firmly.

"You are a wonderful woman, I don't know if I say that enough, and beautiful too!" Renard said.

"Don't push your luck." Hesta quickly filled a flagon of ale and shoved it at him.

"Don't spill it! Geez!" Renard sighed and then grinned at the liquor in front of him. "Aw, tastes just like Hesta's..."

"If you open your mouth again, I'm going to nail it shut!" Hesta cried, interrupting him.

"Your a wonderful woman Hesta!" Renard then chugged back the ale, savoring the alcohol he had been denied for some time.

"You always have a way with women." said a voice behind the fox-man. Renard spun around. He then grinned and raised his mug.

"Hamid!" Renard declared. "So good to see you again! What have you been up to?"

"Oh you know," Hamid said, shrugging his shoulders. "This and that." Renard turned back to the bar.

"A round for my good friend Hesta, on me!"

"Go to hell Renard!" Hesta shouted in reply. Renard turned back to his friend, a grin still on his face.

"We have such a good relationship." The fox said.

"I can see that." Hamid replied. He walked up and sat at the bar. "Why the hell did she let you back in?"

"Paid half my debt." Renard said.

"And...you did that how?" Hamid asked, cocking his eyebrow

"I work for the crusaders at the moment." Renard declared proudly. Hamid laughed at that statement.

"Now there's a bright move. You want to die?" Hamid asked.

"I assure you that I can fair a lot better in the desert than they can." Renard replied.

"You haven't been in the desert since you were fifteen." Hamid said.

"Well it's still hot, still brutal and still full of monsters. Don't imagine it's changed much."

"Why would you even agree to that? You hate working."

"Maybe I've found my spirit of adventure."

"There's a cute crusader isn't there?"

"I'm not sure what you're implying good sir and I take it as an affront to my honor." Renard then took another drink of an ale.

"Uh-huh. Well I've already taken a good sampling of the crusaders already." The fox man put his mug on the table and gave Hamid his own version of a disbelieving stare.

"Good heavens, what did you do?" the fox asked.

"A gentlemen never tells." Hamid replied with a smile.

"Good thing we're not gentlemen." Both of them chortled at that.

"Come on, tell me, what did you do?"

"Yes, tell us. What did you do?" said a new voice. Every spine in the entire place went rigid. Hamid and Renard jumped up and spun around. The fox man didn't even care that his ale tipped over. Everyone else in the room jumped to their feet and shuffled to the edges of the room. Standing in the middle of the bar, with his trident in his hand and still half naked was Adrum. Hesta put up her hands nervously from behind the bar.

"Adrum, I assure you that nothing illegal is going on here." she said, her voice shaking.

"I have the utmost faith in you Hesta." Adrum said flatly. He pointed his trident at Hamid. "What did you do?"

"Well...I...uh...uh...um..." Hamid stammered. He was quickly beginning to sweat and fidget. "I just...saved a poor soul from certain death."

"And how did you do that?" Adrum asked.

"I introduced her to...a new way of life." Hamid said, fidgeting

"You turned her didn't you?"

"It was...just one soldier."

"That soldier was their second in command!" Adrum was now shouting at the top of his lungs. "Their commander had feelings for her! He was going to sack the city to find her! I had to threaten him and put everyone in danger for you!"

"I...I...she...she failed to mention she was..." Hamid said, his voice progressively getting higher.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't hand you over to them." Adrum sounded dead serious.

"Whoa, whoa Adrum, don't be so angry!" Hamid said desperately, waving his hands. "She was going to die in the desert and now she's not! I'm not going to treat her badly, I swear!"

"Can you give her back?" Adrum said, his voice full of venom. The people in the bar were slowly edging their way out of the door.

"I...really, really, really would recommend against that." Hamid said, a nervous smile on his face. "In her current state she would...incite their anger."

Adrum growled and grimaced, showing that he was boiling under the surface.

"If I hadn't watched you grow up, I would hang you high from the city gate right now." Adrum muttered.

"And believe me, no one appreciates that more than I..." Hamid said.

"Shut-up!" Adrum shouted.

"Yes sir." Hamid hunched down, as if expecting a terrible blow.

"Since you have to take care of this woman, I don't suspect that you'll be visiting the bar at nights since you will be so busy, hm?"

"Yes sir..." Hamid looked at the ground. It was like he was being grounded.

"I would suggest you stay home and take care of your new charge from now on. I don't want to see you on the street unless you're selling a puppet, buying food or chasing a robber, is that clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Renard, I expect you to guide them to the best of your ability." Adrum said, turning to the fox-man. "If you come back and I suspect that you led them to their deaths on purpose I will hang you from the city gates instead."

"Whoa, hey, they're paying me." Renard said, holding up his hand defensively. "I had every intention of helping them from the beginning!" Adrum glared at the fox man, his trident still pointing forward. "...Sir."

"I don't want your friendship or past hardships you faced with Hamid to taint your ability." Adrum explained. "If they manage to return I will tell them what happened to their second in command. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir." Both Hamid and Renard muttered. Adrum finally put his trident down. He then turned to Hesta, who was standing nervously behind the bar. Other than the four of them, the place was now empty.

"I apologize for running off your customers Hesta." Adrum said. "I will get some gold and pay for your lost business tomorrow."

"That's quite alright." Hesta said, her voice still trembling. "You don't have to..."

"I insist." Adrum turned and began walking out of the bar. "Both of you should go and get some rest. You have a lot to do tomorrow." Adrum then exited the bar. Renard and Hamid both exhaled for the first time in a long time.

"Well...Adrum's mad. We're fucked." Hamid said.

"Ugh..." Renard turned around and saw that his drink had spilled. He groaned and picked up the mug, seeing that it was indeed empty. "Oh Hesta!"

"Not a chance mutt!" She shouted back.

"Yeah, that's how this day would end." Renard said bitterly, slamming his mug on the bar. Both Hamid and Renard stared at each other in silence.

"Ready to get to work?" Hamid asked.

"Don't have much of a choice now. Let's get some rest."

*

At dawn the next morning, Colonel Lionheart ordered his troops to move out. Renard came as well, although later than the colonel would have liked. After stocking water and food onto pack camels the troops mobilized. Renard instructed them that there was a common route his people took through the desert. They could hop from one oasis to another and reach the middle of the desert. After that, they would likely have to split up the force and search the desert for the Demon King's palace. The colonel didn't like splitting a small force to even smaller units, but he could at least follow Renard until they reached the end point. Before they set out, Renard only had one word of advice.

"Don't. Touch. Anything."

*

They had been traveling in the desert for most of the day. The colonel was walking in front with his officers scattered in the long line of troops behind him. Major Ackler, now his second in command, walked behind him. He had an expression that reminded everyone of an eagle, hunting for prey. He intimidated most men and wasn't attractive enough for most women. He loved to fight however, and his skill inspired men in battle. Lagging a little behind them pulling the pack camel that carried their official documents and struggling to keep up was Private Steinam. She was determined to make up for her missing sister. The colonel felt a little bad for her, as she was only a private and expected to keep up with the officers, but it was the route she had chosen. If she was half the woman her sister was, it shouldn't be a problem.

The other two captains and the first lieutenant were busy keeping the soldiers in line. In front of the great line of troops was Renard. Unlike all of the others who were boiling in their armor, sweating and feeling sand in uncomfortable places, he was merrily walking along, sweat-free and sand-free thanks to his fur. They traveled over dune after dune, each one looking exactly the same. The fox seemed to know exactly where he was going, despite the lack of any discernible landmark. Without him however, they were completely lost. The colonel didn't like leaving the entire crusade in the hands of some half monster human, and it was affecting his temper.

As they topped yet another dune Renard abruptly stopped. He lifted one of his ears and twitched it. The entire column of soldiers came to a grinding halt. The colonel narrowed his eyes and walked forward.

"Is there a problem?" Colonel Lionheart asked, clearly irritated.

"Maybe." Renard admitted. "I think something's coming." Now the commander was alerted.

"What is it?" Lionheart asked.

"Not sure yet." Renard said. "Some kind of thumping. Won't be sure unless..." Abruptly, Renard's nose twitched. He sniffed the air. His head jerked to one particular dune in the distance. The colonel followed his gaze and saw some figures standing on the top of the pile of sand.

"What are...?" the colonel began.

"Pigmen!" Renard shouted excitedly.

"What?" the commander sputtered.

"Those are pigmen! Draw your swords!" Renard reached into his clothing and took out a curved sword that no one was aware he had. Although briefly alarmed, the colonel followed his order.

"Draw swords!" The commander shouted. His officers and soldiers down the line began shouting the same thing. In rapid succession, everyone drew their blades.

"Hold them up!" Renard then said.

"What?" the commander sputtered again.

"Just hold them up! Let them see them!" Renard retorted.

"Hold them up!" the colonel said, caving. The entire line of soldiers obeyed. Hundreds of blades gleamed in the sunlight as the figures on the distant dune didn't move. After a few moments of silence, the colonel was compelled to speak.

"What are we doing?" he asked Renard, again sounding annoyed.

"Showing them that we armed." Renard said.

"And...what are they doing?" the commander stated.

"Seeing if we'll run." Renard admitted.

"What? Why would we run? There are five of them."

"They're pretty stupid, but they know when to strike. They won't attack a group with such huge numbers unless we run so they can run us down. They think everyone is weaker than them. Why wouldn't we run? They're better and stronger."

"Are they?" the commander asked, sounding like he was being insulted.

"Against you guys? No." Renard said. "Against peasants yes. They don't know the difference." The figures on the dune began moving. They seemed to fidget amongst themselves for a moment. They then disappeared back over the dune. "Good, they decided it wasn't worth it." Renard put his sword away.

"At ease!" The colonel shouted back to his men. They all obeyed. "You didn't tell us about the sword." Renard gave him an unbelievably incredulous look.

"All of you have swords and armor." Renard snapped. "Why can't I have half of what you have? Besides, I'm not a fool. The person who walks into this desert unarmed is the person that dies first." The fox man then began walking again. "Let's get moving. The first oasis isn't too far from here. Watch your back, something must be up. Pigmen don't usually come this close to the city." The commander growled a little at Renard giving the orders, but signaled for his troops to follow them.

A few hours later, they arrived at a rather large oasis that made the colonel's soldiers groan with relief. It was surrounded by palm trees full of fruit. Renard seemed bothered by something, but the colonel's soldiers were so excited the sight that they ran forward without permission. Lionheart didn't stop them as many of them jumped into the oasis with their armor still on. Renard gazed up at the sun, then back to the oasis. He reached up and began scratching his ear. The commander did his best to ignore him. Since it was late in the day, the colonel began ordering his men to make camp. The only person who seemed to notice that Renard was bothered was Captain Fenner. She walked up to him and watched as he looked around and seemed a little lost.

"Is there a problem?" she asked. The fox man turned and grinned a toothy smile.

"Why no madame, why should there be?" he asked. He was clearly trying to be smooth. "Might I say, even with the sweat, you are just as lovely. In fact, I think the sweat adds to..."

"Cut the bullshit." Talia said abruptly, appearing angry.

"Oooh, feisty." Renard replied, raising his hands up. "I was just complimenting you. If you have a problem with..."

"You're bothered by something. Tell me what it is or I'll tell the colonel." That seemed to take the wind out of Renard's sails. He exhaled, seemingly deflated.

"You guys aren't fun at all." Renard said. "It's going to be a long walk, you guys should lighten up." Talia off-set her jaw, showing she didn't care. "Fine. In truth, the reason I'm bothered is the fact that there isn't anything wrong."