Codename Nobody

Book one: Nobody's Business

"There is opportunity in chaos."

- Sun Tzu

Page 1

Splash page: A KGB office in the former Soviet Republic of Caspia. The office is in chaos. People rushing around with arms full of files. Others carrying out computers. People feeding paper into shredders. At a desk amidst the storm, a mousy brunette woman in a worn sweater and thick-rimmed glasses stares intently at her computer screen. She is chewing a pencil. The name placard on her desk reads Miss Nvodny. A radio on a file cabinet plays a newscast.

Radio Announcer

"More than a decade after the collapse of the Soviet Union, independence has finally come to the tiny Republic of Caspia. The question on everyone's lips is 'What now?'."

Page 2

Panel 1: A closer shot of Natasha Nvodny. Her green eyes are full of indecision. Her hand is poised over the keyboard of an antiquated computer.

Radio Announcer

"The Russian Military withdrawal is in full swing. Satellite offices of the Russian government are closing, leaving thousands out of work."

Panel 2: Natasha's computer screen. On the screen is her own personnel file. It reads:

Natasha Nvodny. Age 26. Height: 5' 2". Weight: 105lbs. Marital status: Single.

Position: Data entry clerk, KGB Field Office, Caspia. Security Clearance: Level 17

Panel 3: Natasha's computer screen. The same as before, but the cursor is deleting the

position and clearance fields.

Panel 4: Natasha's computer screen. It now reads; Position: Field operative. Security

Clearance: Level 1.

Panel 5: Natasha's finger hovers over the Enter key on the grimy keyboard.

Panel 6: The same. A voice speaks from behind her. Natasha's finger stabs the Delete key.

Major Brodsky

"Miss Nvodny!"

Panel 7: Major Brodsky, a huge, battle ax of a woman in a Russian uniform, looms over Natasha.

Major Brodsky

"Have you finished transferring those personnel files?"

Page 3

Panel 1: Natasha cowers at her desk.

Natasha

"Yes, Major Brodsky....er, that is...almost...I mean, I was about done..."

Panel 2: Brodsky's horrible face.

Major Brodsky

"This office is to be cleared by tomorrow afternoon. You will not leave here today until

those files are taken care of."

Panel 3: Natasha's stricken face.

Natasha

"But Major...I have a date tonight."

Panel 4: The Major standing over Natasha. Her face softens a bit.

Major Brodsky

"You're kidding. Not that ape from the motorpool?"

Natasha

"Yuri. He seems nice."

Panel 5: The Major. She seems more motherly now.

Major Brodsky

"They all seem nice. Very well. But the work must be done by 3:00 tomorrow."

Panel 6: Natasha hurriedly gathers her things.

Natasha

"I will, Major...I promise, Major...Thank you Major..."

Panel 7: The Major watches as Natasha rushes out the door, a trail of papers in blowing

in her wake.

Page 4

Panel 1: The dingy storefront of a food market. A line of people snakes down the broken

sidewalk.

Panel 2: Inside the store. The shelves are nearly bare. Natasha waits patiently, timidly.

She is still clutching papers and carrying a battered briefcase tied together with

brown string.

Panel 3: A head and shoulders shot of Natasha in her worn sweater and thick-rimmed

glasses.

Panel 4: Close up on Natasha's green eyes. She wears no makeup.

Panel 5: The same close up, but the glasses are gone and her eyes are expertly made up.

Panel 6: The same head and shoulders shot, but now Natasha wears a sexy evening dress.

Her hair is styled. There is a diamond necklace hanging over her deep cleavage.

Page 5

Panel 1: Natasha is sitting in a fancy restaurant across the table from a stunningly

handsome man in a tuxedo. The waiter is handing her a drink.

Waiter

"Vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred."

Panel 2: Natasha and the man lean over the table, lit by candlelight, gazing into each other's eyes.

Man

"Natasha, last night was.... I have never known a woman as extraordinary as you."

Panel 3: Same shot.

Natasha

"Thank you, Yuri. Or should I say...Lord James Eton-Smythe, British Secret Service?"

Panel 4: Lord Eton-Smythe's face. Shock and denial.

Panel 5: Lord Eton-Smythe's face. Resigned and defeated.

Eton-Smythe

"Yes. But how? I have fooled the finest intelligence agencies in the world.

The CIA, GRU, Mossad...."

Panel 6: Natasha pats his hand.

Natasha

"Oh, James. Your screams of passion have a decided British accent."

Panel 7: They hold hands over the table.

Eton-Smythe

"What is to become of me? Of us?"

Natasha

"There are guards outside waiting to take you into custody. But that is no reason to

waste this splendid meal."

Panel 8: Natasha offers Eton-Smythe a silver dish.

Natasha

"Caviar?"

Page 6

Panel 1: A fat, greasy shopkeeper. There is a look of shocked humor on his face.

Shopkeeper

"Caviar?!?! Bwah hah hah hah hah!"

Panel 2: Natasha surrounded by the crowd of shoppers. They all laugh cruelly.

Panel 3: Natasha flees from the store.

Panel 4: Natasha enters her dreary, one room apartment. A black cat is on the table to

greet her.

Cat

"Mow?"

Natasha

"Oh, Misha. I'm sorry. No cat food today. I promise I will bring you something home after my date."

Panel 5: Natasha looks at the clock. It is 7:20.

Natasha

"Oh my God! Yuri!"

Panel 6: Natasha in the shower. The water is a brown trickle. She is shaving her hairy armpits.

Panel 7: Natasha stands in front of a cracked, full-length mirror. She is wearing her nicest

dress. It is not so nice. She is striking a sexy pose.

Panel 8: Same shot, but Natasha's shoulders are slumped in defeat.

Natasha

"sigh"

Page 7

Panel 1: Natasha sits in a kitchen chair by the door. She is wearing her coat and gloves.

Her purse is in her lap. The clock reads 7:55.

Panel 2: Same shot. The clock reads 8:00.

Panel 3: Same shot. The clock reads 8:15.

Panel 4: Same shot. The clock reads 8:45.

Panel 5: Same shot. The clock reads 9:00.

Natasha

"sigh"

Panel 6: Natasha sits at the kitchen table talking on the phone. Her cat rubs against her

leg. It is a depressing sight in a depressing room.

Natasha

Yuri! I was worried! I...what? Oh. No, no trouble at all. I understand.

Next week sometime? Sure. Yuri, I.... hello? Hello?"

Panel 7: Same shot.

Natasha

"sigh"

Page 8

Panel 1: Back at the office. The same chaos. Major Brodsky is addressing the staff. Natasha

is at her computer.

Major Brodsky

"This office will be closed as of 3:00 pm today. I have been authorized to tell you that

some of you will be transferred to a new international cooperative agency. This Agency,

The International Security Directorate, will advise those of you eligible for new positions.

Panel 2: Natasha's computer screen. Her personnel file is on the screen as before.

Major Brodsky

"Some of you will be reassigned to offices in other cities, other countries."

Panel 3: Natasha's computer screen. She is deleting her position and clearance again.

Major Brodsky

"I'm sure the rest of you will soon find positions in other fields."

Panel 4: Natasha's computer screen. She has typed in Field Operative, Level 1.

Major Brodsky

"You can all be proud of the important work you have done here."

Panel 5: Natasha's finger hovers over the Enter key.

Major Brodsky

"This is a new world, full of new opportunities. "

Panel 6: Natasha's finger hits Enter.

Major Brodsky

"Good luck to you all."

Page 9

Panel 1: TWO MONTHS LATER. Natasha sits on her rusty fire escape cradling her cat. She is wearing bra and panties. There is a worried look on her face.

Natasha

"Oh, Misha. What was I thinking? What have I done? Petra told me that all of the other

clericals have already been reassigned. I have no job. I have no money. I have no cat food."

Panel 2: Natasha snuggles Misha between her breasts. A tear runs down her cheek.

Natasha

"Mrs. Pogrodin said she would take care of you if...if..."

Panel 3: Misha licks the tear.

Natasha

"...they send me to prison. Or if they......"

Panel 4: Natasha's face. A look of terror in her eyes.

Natasha

"...kill me?"

Panel 5: From over Natasha's shoulder we see what she sees. There is a man in a black trenchcoat standing in the mouth of the alley. He is holding an open newspaper, but he is looking right up at her.

Panel 6: Natasha and Misha dive through the window into her apartment.

Natasha

"OhGodOhGodOhGod!"

Page 10

Panel 1: Natasha bolts for her door. Misha dives into a cookie jar.

Natasha

"I'll come back for you, Misha. I promise!"

Panel 2: Natasha races down the stairs.

Natasha

"OhGodOhGodOhGod"

Panel 3: Natasha screeches to a halt. Over her shoulder we see two other men in trenchcoats coming up the stairs.

Panel 4: Natasha ducks behind the stair rail. We see her through the slats. She grips them like prison bars.

Panel 5: Natasha races back to her room.

Panel 6: Natasha back in her apartment. She leans against the closed door.

Panel 7: The same. There is a loud knock at her door.

Natasha

"Eeep!"

Page 11

Panel 1: Natasha peeks out of the door.

Natasha

"Yes?"

Panel 2: Through the crack in the door we see the two large, frightening men.

Man #1

"Miss Nvodny?"

Natasha

"Yes?"

Panel 3: The man reaches into his coat under his left arm with his right hand.

Panel 4: Natasha's eyes go wide.

Panel 5: The man pulls out an envelope.

Man #1

"Your orders, Ma'am."

Panel 6: Natasha sits at her kitchen table. Misha sits on the table. Spread on the table are official looking documents, a passport, an airline ticket and a lot of cash. Natasha holds in her hands a platinum credit card.

Natasha

"Oh, Misha. I think we hit the jackpot."

Page 12

Panel 1: WASHINGTON, DC. Natasha in a bubble bath in a luxury hotel. She is talking on a cordless phone.

Natasha

"You wouldn't believe it, Misha. This bathroom is bigger than our whole apartment!

They have separate towels just for your hands."

Panel 2: An old, fat woman holds a phone receiver up to Misha. The woman looks bored and perturbed.

Panel 3: Natasha towels off.

Natasha

"Washington is incredible. Just like the movies. I am doing very well with my English."

Panel 4: Natasha in the bedroom. She is wrapped in a tiny towel. There is a knock at the door.

Natasha

"I have to report tomorrow. If they arrest me, I guess I'll apply for asylum. I'm sure they will let me send for you. Americans love pets."

Panel 5: Natasha opens the door to a man with a rack of clothes. He has a cloth tape measure over his shoulders. With him is a woman in a smock carrying scissors and a make-up kit.

Natasha

"I have to go. It's time for my make-over. I love you Misha. Bye."

Panel 6: Natasha stands in front of a gilt-trimmed mirror in the same pose from page 6. She wears a black leather skirt and jacket, wicked boots and a purple blouse that reveals a lot of cleavage. Her hair is short and swept up like flames. Her make-up is perfect. Her glasses are stylish and cool. She is drop dead gorgeous.

Natasha

"Nvodny. Natasha Nvodny."

Page 13

1. Panel 1: THE NEXT MORNING. Natasha stands in front of a gleaming office building.

Natasha (thinking)

"Bullshit and attitude. Bullshit and attitude."

Panel 2: Natasha stands in a long hall. There is a security desk at the far end.

Natasha (thinking)

"Bullshit and attitude. Bullshit and attitude."

Panel 3: Natasha stands before the security desk. There is a mean-looking guard. On the wall behind the guard is the seal of the International Security Directorate. The guard is looking at Natasha's I.D.

Guard

"It says here you are a level 17 clerk."

Panel 4: Natasha gives him a haughty look.

Natasha

"Of course it does. Would you prefer one that says, "Master Spy?"

Panel 5: The guard glares at her.

Guard

"Hallway to the right. Take the stairs down three flights. Turn right, then left. Right?"

Panel 6: Natasha walks down the hall. The guard admires her ass as she walks away.

Panel 7: Natasha stands before a large, metal door. Stenciled on the door are the words;

BODY SHOP.

Page 14

Panel 1: Natasha hesitantly opens the door. Inside is a white room with five chairs and a podium. There is a projection screen behind the podium. Four of the chairs are occupied. Two men, two women. They are all tall, handsome, well built and smoking cigarettes.

Panel 2: Natasha takes the empty chair. She looks small compared to the others. They are Ian Wadsworth; Blond hair, blue eyes, slender and elegant. Jack Craft; Brown hair, brown eyes, rugged and unshaven. Brücke Vorkoster; Blond crew cut, blue eyes, muscular, with enormous breasts. Leah Liraz; Thick black curls, violet eyes, voluptuous and sultry. Natasha takes the chair next to Ian. He holds a cigarette pack out to her.

Ian

"Fancy a fag?"

Panel 3: The door slams open. It is filled by a huge man in a military uniform; General Maximilian Korsakoff. His head is covered with a black, skin-tight hood. Only his left eye is exposed. There are scars visible around his grey eye. With him is a small, girlish Japanese woman in a smart business suit; Miko Homicido. She holds five manila envelopes.

General Korsakoff

"I am the Lord God Almighty. You may call me General Korsakoff. From this moment,

you belong to me. You will report only to me. You will answer only to me."

Panel 4: The General looms over Natasha.

General

"I don't know you."

Panel 5: Natasha looks like she is going to wet her pants.

Page 15

Panel 1: The General stands behind the podium. Miko looks up at him in reverent awe.

General

"I don't know any of you. You have been operating off the grid, below the radar. No paper trail, no records, no history at all.

What I do know is that you are all Level 1 operatives. The best of the best. The most highly trained, highly skilled operatives in your respective agencies. In short, you are the most lethal people in the world."

Panel 3: A long panel, divided in four sections, of the four spies. Miko hands them an envelope as the General calls their names.

General

"Codename: Anybody, M. I. 6" (Ian)

"Codename: Somebody, C.I.A." (Jack).

"Codename: Hardbody, B.N.D." (Brücke).

"Codename: Goodbody, Mossad" (Leah).

Panel 5: Natasha. She looks nervous.

General

"Codename: Nobody, K.G.B."

Panel 6: The General at the podium.

General

"We are The Body Shop, an elite unit within the International Security Directorate. It is an American name. A place that fixes things. That is our mandate. We are based in America because it is the world center of money, drugs and war. The packets Miss Homicido gave you contain your individual assignments. You will work that problem in between the missions I assign you. All I.S.D. facilities are at your disposal. Your budget is unlimited, within reason. Take an office upstairs. Draw weapons and equipment from the Armory downstairs. "

Panel 7: The General's eye.

General

"Well? Get to work!"

Panel 8: Natasha's face.

Natasha

"Nobody?"

Page 16

Panel 1: THE ARMORY. There is an array of weapons and equipment laid out on a table. A grizzled Sergeant-Major type stands behind the table. Natasha looks at the weapons, trying to hide her confusion. He hands her a metal briefcase.

Sarge

"This contains a standard field kit. Secure phone, wiretaps, detonators, etc. Choice of weapon is up to you. You have a preference, Miss Nobody?"

Natasha

"Um...Walther PPK?"

Sarge

"Ah, a traditionalist."

Panel 2: Brücke's voice from behind Natasha as she looks at the automatic pistol in her hand, trying to act like she has held one before.

Brücke

"Not much stopping power."

Panel 3: Natasha turns to Brücke and walks face first into her huge breasts.

Panel 4: Natasha steps back. Brücke smiles at her.

Natasha

"That depends on what you hit."

Panel 5: Brücke points down to the other end of the room. There is a man-shaped, paper target hanging in front of the wall. Natasha looks worried.

Brücke

"Show me what you can do."

Panel 6: Natasha points the gun at the target.

Natasha (thinking)

"You can do this. Just like the movies. Center of the chest. Breathe and squeeze."

Page 17

Panel 1: Natasha closes her eyes and squeezes the trigger.

Panel 2: Natasha peeks at the target with one eye. Brücke laughs.

Panel 3: The target. There is a hole in the crotch.

Brücke

"Hah hah hah. Little Nobody, you are my kind of girl."

Panel 4: Brücke turns to the Sarge.

Brücke

"Desert Eagle. 50 cal."

Panel 5: The Sarge hands her the huge automatic pistol and in one motion she turns and fires.

Panel 6: There is a hole in wall at the end of the room where the target used to be. Bits of paper float around it.

Panel 7: Brücke laughs a hearty laugh, throws an arm around Natasha and crushes her into the side of her breast. Jack watches them from around a corner.

Page 18

Panel 1: THE NEXT NIGHT. Natasha is in her office. We see the Capital Building through the open window. The office is on the 17th floor. Boxes in the trash can show that the equipment is new and the office has just been set up. Natasha is going over the files from the manila envelope.

Panel 2: Natasha looks at a dossier.

Natasha

"Find one man. How hard can it be?"

Panel 3: The dossier's first page. It is of a free-lance operative. There is no picture on the file. The heading reads Codename: Greystoke.

Natasha

"After all, you've seen a hundred spy movies. You've read a thousand spy novels."

Panel 4: Natasha puts her feet up on the desk. She reads the file aloud.

Natasha

"Codename: Greystoke. Mercenary. Wanted in 36 countries. Wow. Insurrection. Theft of state secrets. Grand larceny."

Panel 5: Natasha chews a pencil.

Natasha

"No reports of him working for the powerful against the powerless. Hmmm. You would think that the powerful would pay better."

Panel 6: Natasha' s elbows are on the desk, her head in her hands. She reads the file.

Natasha

" 6'5". Weight; 230. Head shaved. Red beard. Eyes....I wonder what color his eyes are?"

Panel 7: The same. A voice answers her from over her shoulder.

Greystoke

"Blue."

Page 19:

Panel 1: . Natasha whirls around to see a smiling man standing in the window. He is tall, dressed all in black; suit, shirt, tie, leather trenchcoat. There is a red rosebud in his lapel. He has a red goatee. He tips his black fedora, revealing a shaved head.

Greystoke

"Looking for me?"

Panel 2: Natasha starts to speak, but Greystoke lays a gloved finger across her lips.

Natasha

"Who? How?"

Greystoke

"Shhh. Someone is coming. It wouldn't look good for you if they were to find me here."

Panel 3: Greystoke flicks open a switchblade in front of Natasha's wide eyes.

Greystoke

"I will be under your desk, holding the tip of my blade to your femoral artery."

Page 20

Panel 1: Greystoke gets under the desk. He speaks up at Natasha from between her legs.

Greystoke

"If you alert them to my presence, I would have to kill them. And I would have to cut this lovely leg. I doubt you could get yourself to a hospital before you bled out."

Panel 2: Miko comes in the door without knocking. Natasha tries to look calm.

Miko

"Miss Nobody. We have a problem."

Panel 3: Greystoke's gloved hands push apart Natasha's thighs.

Miko

"I have been researching your history, or rather, your lack of history."