Chapter 11 Under The Gun

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see nothing. She shouldn't have done that to him yesterday. Now he was revisiting it on her. It was like she was sixteen again and working at the garden center with Jeff. Not that that had amounted to much more than making a weekend job bearable. What was it about Sirix that made her this way?

"Hello, Sirix." She didn't bother to turn the other way. It would make him smile. And then she would smile. And then he would become the center of her world for the moment. And that was something she just couldn't stand that he could do to her!

"You asked to see me?"

"A harpoon gun."

"What?"

"Your plan, it would work better if we had some kind of harpoon gun. With a rope attached. That way when they try to fly off we can stop them. If even one escapes, we'll have to move again."

"I'd rather that not happen. I'll talk to Kalo and see what she can do."

"I saw you with her yesterday, don't you already know what she can do?" She'd lately taken to mocking his habits with the women of the camp. She couldn't help it. Her frustrations that she was not among them had to go somewhere. He didn't seem to mind, he only smirked as he always did when she challenged or teased him. Which only made her need to do so all the worse.

"You'd be surprised how inventive she can be."

Lindsay stuck her tongue out at him. He returned the gesture.

"The troops are doing well; do you think they're ready?" he asked, surveying the soldiers as they went through the obstacle course that was the training grounds.

"They'll have to be."

"You've done well."

"Did you ever doubt me?" she replied haughtily, jutting out her hip for extra emphasis. She liked how his eyes rested there a moment before returning to hers.

As much as she wanted him, more and more she was sure he wanted her, too. Of course, it wouldn't be just sex anymore, she could tell from the way her breath hung heavy in her chest when he stood close to her that that ship had long since sailed.

"Of course." He moved nearer to her, his eyelids half obscuring the gold rims of his indigo eyes. "But you have never failed to disappoint my expectations."

She stuck out her tongue at him. "I'm the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it."

"I'll wait until after the plan has worked to make that judgement."

"And what'll you do when it does?"

"Sleep a little sounder."

"And still all alone."

"You're welcome to join me."

She flushed slightly. That smirk told her that was exactly what he was hoping for. "No thanks. You look like you snore."

"Would you really mind it?"

Hell no! was what she wanted to say. He could snore like a freight train and she'd just be happy to feel his breath on her neck! Whenever she felt his rough hand on her shoulder she wanted to feel it trail down her collarbone until it was massaging her breast. She had it bad and she knew it.

"Hey! Earth girl!" Nol called out. "Why don't you ask the Bona Serat Corsar to show you how to climb a tree? Nobody here's better at it."

"You can't climb a tree yet?" There was that smug look on Sirix's face.

"I can climb a tree," Lindsay said, irritably. "I just can't climb the big ones with the high branches."

Sirix laughed. "Nol, get a pair of climbing boots for Lindsay. We're going to take care of this problem now."

An hour later, Lindsay found herself halfway up the trunk of the widest, tallest tree Sirix could find. "Good, now lean forward," Sirix shouted from below. "You want there to be as little distance between your upper body and the tree as possible. If you need to, you can put your hands on the trunk and let them guide you. Kick the boot forward and put your weight on it. If it doesn't feel solid just do it again."

Lindsay was sweating from the arduous climb as she did what she was told. She tested her footing to be certain it would hold. Then the other foot. It was painfully slow going. She doubted she would ever be able to run up a tree like the Bonat soldiers did. One foot and then the other. Don't look down. One foot and then the other. Right foot. Left Foot. Right foot. Left foot.

"That's good, feel the rhythm of it."

"It's standing on air a hundred feet off the ground being held up by a little piece of metal," she shouted back down. "Not a samba." She wiggled her hips to an imaginary Latin beat and was surprised to find the spurs held her steady.

Feeling more secure, she began to climb again, faster this time. She turned to look back down, to see Sirix, to taunt him, but her shoulders accidentally fell back behind her hips. She felt her body wobble backwards. "Yikes!" she cried out. Her arms spun like pinwheels as she tried to right herself against the tree, but it was no good, she was going to fall!

Strong arms grabbed her and shoved her back against the tree. She could smell the leather of his jacket against her cheek. "Don't lose focus," he growled. "Now come on, we'll finish it together."

Sirix matched her slow pace as they climbed the rest of the way to the first branches. He hopped onto a thick, straight branch that stuck out horizontally. "Here," he said, extending a hand. "See, there's no tree you can't climb, if you really want to climb it."

Lindsay grasped the hand and he easily pulled her up. "Thanks," she said. She gazed out at the sky. In the distance, she could make out the rocky ridges where the Nobillo made their home as the sun lit the evening sky on fire with bright oranges and pinks. "It's beautiful up here."

He sat on the branch, his legs dangling into the open air below. "From here you'd never think there was a war. It's one of my favorite places to go in camp. When I was a child I always used to climb up to the top of the tallest tree and spend whole evenings there. It drove the nurses crazy trying to find me. It always felt like when I was up above the canopy, I was in another world, one that was safe and peaceful. My own, personal, citadel."

There was so much Lindsay wanted to say, but it all sounded so stupid in her mind. She wanted to take his hand, to thank him for showing her this place, to rest her head on his shoulder. It had been years since she'd lacked such boldness, but now she felt surprisingly timid.

She sat down next to him and watched the sun go down and the stars appear in the darkening sky. She glanced over at his face and saw the moons reflected in his eyes. What was he seeing when he looked at them? How many times had he, as a young boy, watched the night sky, recalling a peaceful world he had never known? A world she suddenly wanted to make for him. For the man who carried the burden of his people in his every action. No wonder he was always after some tail. Anything to take away the bleak reality of this world for a few minutes.

Not that she intended to let up on him.

"Tomorrow," he said.

"Tomorrow."

"It'll be the first strike we've made against them in my lifetime."

Lindsay raised a fist. "Then we'd better make it count."

"Indsayee..."

The air suddenly felt heavy. "Yes?" she asked.

He paused and looked away. "It's nothing. We should go back down before it's too dark for you to see the tree. I've noticed you Earth people don't do well in the dark."

"I'm sorry we don't have specially evolved eyes to see in the dark like you do. We have these things called flashlights, instead." And they were off again, bickering all the way back to his tent where an awkward silence preceded rushed goodbyes.

She walked back to her tent in the dark. What did she want? Did she really want to play Commander Riker? Fighting in interstellar wars and picking up aliens?

Fighting in wars.

Wars that weren't hers...

Her mind flashed to the Nobillo in the tree. She turned suddenly, walking away from the training grounds. There it was, still lit gently in the darkening night. She knocked at the tent post.

"Donil?" she asked, pulling back the flap, fighting back tears she would never allow to fall. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

Donil stood in surprise. "Of course, Lindsay! What's wrong?"

Lindsay fell into Donil's arms. They were warm and soft and comforting. "Everything!" She hadn't expected to burst into tears. She never cried! Sirix had even said so. But now here she was soaking the white cloth of Donil's dress while gentle hands stroked her back.

"Well, let's take it one thing at a time," Donil's voice whispered in her ear.

"The plan is tomorrow and... and I'm scared! Donil, I'm not some warrior princess! This! This!" She threw off pieces of her armor. "It's all lies! I don't want to fight! The only reason I even killed that Nobillo was because he was going to eat me! I don't think I'm ready for this! I just want to go home! I miss my mom and dad and Sarah! They probably think I'm dead by now!"

She fought the words out sloppily through tears and mucus. "I was happy where I was! My life was good! And now I'm here and I'm in the middle of this horrible war where the enemy literally wants to eat me! And all I can see when I think about the battle is them catching me and tearing my heart out and eating it! I don't want to fight! I want to go home!"

Donil rocked her back and forth in her arms, stroking her hair. "You don't have to fight." Lindsay tried to object but Donil just shook her head, her starry eyes tender. "No, you don't have to. Sirix would never force you to. You can stay with me and help with the wounded. You've done your part. You don't need to do any more than you already have."

"But Sirix..."

"He would never tell you, but he doesn't want you to fight."

"He doesn't?"

"No, he's afraid to lose you. You're very important to him, to us."

To us, the Bonat. Of course. "He doesn't want to risk losing his secret weapon."

"I think it may be more than that. He cares about you."

"Then why doesn't he tell me not to fight?"

"Because he wants it to be your choice. Besides, he felt like if he forbade it, you'd be even more likely to do it."

Lindsay managed a wet smirk. "So, he was hoping I'd chicken out on my own."

"I don't know what chicken out means?"

"That I'd be afraid and back out of it."

"Yes, he was, but now that you know..." Donil's voice turned sad. She squeezed Lindsay tighter. Her body was so much softer than Nol's or Sirix's. "Lindsay, I don't want to lose you either."

"You won't. I'll think about it."

"You don't have to be a hero, Lindsay, you already are one to us."

"I'm your knight in shining armor come to save the damsel and the town. Thanks, Donil." She held her extra tight for a moment and then released her. "I still miss my mom though." She leaned against the cot. "Every night before I had a big game she used to French braid my hair. Even when I was in high school."

"What's a French braid?" Donil asked.

"Here, I'll show you. Just sit on the floor and I'll sit on the cot and I'll braid it for you." Lindsay spread her legs and positioned Donil's back between them. She ran her fingers like a comb through Donil's long hair. It was so light and soft! It felt like thistledown! "Your hair is so pretty," she said, sectioning it off.

"Not as pretty as yours. It's just white, like everyone else's. Yours is brown and copper and other colors all mixed together! And the other humans, they had different hair colors too, like the Korsuch. It must be so interesting to have so much variety."

"Well, to me, your hair is interesting. But nobody where I'm from likes their hair the way it is. Curly people want straight hair, straight haired people want curly hair, and everyone wants a different hair color."

"Humans sound very strange."

"We are. You should have seen me a few years ago, I had my hair dyed red. But it never looked quite right on me, it always looked fake. I always wished it was either redder or darker, it's too in between."

"I like your hair the way it is."

"Well, I like yours, too. There, that's the left side done." She quickly finished the right side, leaving two identical plaits winding their way up to the crown of Donil's head.

"I love them!" she cried.

"If you leave them in all night, it will make your hair wavy. I think you'd look really pretty like that."

"Really?"

"Drop dead gorgeous. I mean, you already are." Lindsay blushed slightly. "If there were more men here they'd be falling all over themselves for you."

Donil smiled. "Here, let me try on you."

They switched positions. Lindsay sighed as Donil's fingers ran through her hair. It was like being back at home again. But she wasn't home. She was in a tent in an alien forest about to face down a bunch of flying freaks that wanted her dead in a very specific way. Her and Donil and Sirix.

"Donil?" she said, quietly.

"Yes, Lindsay?" Lindsay could feel Donil had separated her hair wrong.

"Do you know about Nobillo physiology?"

She stopped combing through Lindsay's hair for a moment, before starting up again. She knew what that question meant. "I do."

"Could you tell me about it?"