Ok this is my first story on this site, all I ask for is a fair criticism on what you guys think both of the story itself and my writing. Any tips or advice would be appreciated.
Regards, NiceGuyA11ways
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Running in sand sucks, seriously, not only does sand not support your weight all that well, but it sucks your feet in and slows you down and makes it twice as hard to take the next step. Plus, chasing something that you can only see for a second or two makes it suck that much more, damn fireflies, and my kid cousins that dragged me out here to chase them. A year or two ago my grandparents had the great idea to buy a house out in the sand dunes on the southern tip of Lake Michigan, which given that the lake is about a fifteen minute drive down the nearest highway from the town where they used to live with the rest of the family, it didn't really make much sense to me. But when my grandparents want something they usually get it, no matter how ridiculous. This led me to my current situation, a mason jar in one hand, shoes filling up with sand running along a semi-dark path in the dunes after my two seemingly inexhaustible little cousins.
"Come on Nate we gotta catch the fireflies!" said Sam, the eleven year old was obsessed with the military and was always wearing something camo themed. His nine year old sister Christy stood next to him looking like she was about to fall asleep standing up, she was a girls girl, always wearing something pink and taking dancing lessons.
"Hold on a sec Sam." I said, on a dare from him I had taken the steep side of the dune up to the top and I was paying for it, I could barely breathe, I'm not out of shape, I run in the dunes all the time, but that's in shorts and sneakers, not work boots, blue-jeans, and a hoodie.
I glanced at Christy, she was nodding slightly, "Hey Sam buddy I think your sister is falling asleep on us. Maybe we should start heading back."
"But...you haven't caught a firefly yet Nate." said Christy, as she yawned.
I glanced at the empty jar in my hand, she was right, but I came more to look after them than to catch bugs. But I knew that if I didn't catch one they would bug me for a week.
"Alright you two," I said as a crouched down putting myself at their eye level, "I will catch one and then we head back...no arguing."
Christy smiled her adorable smile that adults everywhere melted at, Sam nodded clearly unhappy with having to head back but he tried to smile anyway.
I stood up and started looking for a bug that would be an easy catch, out of the corner of my eye I saw a faint pulse of light in a patch of dune grass. It had probably just landed on one of the blades to rest. I slowly began creeping toward the tall brown grass blades, jar in my right hand, my left ready to scoop the bug into the jar, as I got close I heard the faint hum of wings and saw another pulse of light, I bolted toward it and scooped the bug into the jar in one move as I did so I could of sworn I heard a tiny voice yell "Hey!" but I wrote it off as my imagination mixed with sleepiness.
I turned and held the now faintly glowing jar up for my cousins inspection, gave it a slight shake, and then tucked it into my hoodie pocket after I put the lid on.
"Yay Nate!" said Christy hopping in place as she cheered, then she stopped and gave a huge yawn.
"Looks like Short Stack is done for the night." I said smiling slightly as I walked over to Christy. Short Stack was her family nick name, and she hated it.
"Don't call me that!" she tried to sound angry but was too busy yawning again.
"Will carrying you back make up for it?" I asked.
She paused and thought about it then said, "Maybe." with a cheeky little smile.
"Maybe really that's all I get?" I asked hiding my grin behind a hand, as I inched closer.
"Yeah." She said, after pretending to think about it for a few seconds.
"How about...now!?" I asked as I reached out and began tickling her.
Christy squealed with laughter and tried to push me away.
"Grab her arms Sam!" I said Sam rushed over laughing along with his sister as he held her arms to her sides. After several moments of flailing fun I scooped Christy up and threw her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Quickly Private we need to get to the house before the Jerries catch us!" I said faking a British accent.
"Yes sir!" said Sam and we took off toward the lights of the beach house.
As we got closer Christy's flailing and laughter slowly faded to giggles and squirming, until it died down to nothing at all shortly before we reached the door. As Sam opened the screen door on the porch I gently lowered Christy so I was carrying her against my hip with her head on my shoulder, her steady breathing showing that she had fallen asleep. We walked into the 'living room' area of the beach house, half the building was a massive open space with nothing between the kitchen, living room, and dining room, while on the other half of the house there was a staircase that leads to the loft and underneath the loft were a pair of bedrooms and a bathroom.
Aunt Beth and my grandmother sat in the living room talking my grandfather was asleep on the recliner his mostly gray hair standing out on one side as he rolled over.
"Hey Nate." said Aunt Beth as I walked toward her.
"Hey, Short Stack nodded off." I said as I handed Christy to her.
"Oh that's fine," she said as she held her daughter, "we are leaving soon, it's almost bed time for them anyway."
When Chris heard the phrase 'bed time' he let out an 'aaaawwwww' of complaint. Aunt Beth shot him a warning look.
I wandered over to the stove were a pot of soup sat over a low flame, staying hot, I ladled some into a bowl. Then I caught site of the clock.
"Crap, is it really that late?" I asked.
My aunt nodded and smiled, "Somewhere to be Nate?"
"Yeah I plan to go for a run tomorrow morning and I'm going to need my sleep." I said as I poured the soup from the bowl back into the pot. I walked over toward the door and grabbed my small bag that I stowed my laptop in were ever I went, I pulled the jar out of my hoodie pocket and shoved into one of the side pouches on the bag. As I slung the bag over my shoulder and pulled my car keys out of my pocket I waved over my shoulder.
"Bye" I said as I stepped outside.
"Bye be careful." I heard my grandmother say.
I walked over to the beat up old jeep that I was lucky enough to own and opened the driver side door, threw my bag into the passenger seat and started it up.
Fifteen minutes later I pulled into the driveway at my parents' house, since it was summer break and I had decided to not take any classes at my college for the summer semester, I had moved back in for a while. I walked up to the door and unlocked it, my parents had gone on some cruise or other and would be gone for two weeks, that and my older sister going away for college I had the house to myself for a while. I made my way to my room on the second floor, despite my nearly a year of absence nothing had been moved at all, the same bookshelves packed with dog eared and bent up books the same small desk with a space for my laptop with the rest of it covered with half-finished drawings, the same beat up dresser. I sighed as I tossed my bag onto my bed; I pulled it open and hooked up my laptop in its designated desk area. Then I reached into the side pocket and pulled out the jar then set it on my desk over the scraps and bits of paper and drawings. That's when I first saw her; at first I thought I was going crazy I mean fairies aren't real y'know? But there she was, a fairy in my mason jar standing there and looking pretty pissed. I admit the first thought in my head was, 'God she's gorgeous' she stood there with classic elfin features and full lips with a messy short blond hair, her dress made out of leaves, her pointed ears sticking out through her hair slightly her dragonfly wings flitting as she glowed faintly. We must have stared at each other for a full minute, me in shock and awe and her in glaring in anger.
She crossed her arms over her tiny chest and said, "Well? You going to let me out? Or am I going to have to chew my way through the lid?"
