Bizarrely I was attracted to go to the charity art auction in our local library. Art isn't my thing and I only occasionally go to the library. There were lots of posh people looking at lots of paintings I wouldn't give house room to. They were paying up to £500 for these (to me) worthless paintings.
I felt out of place among these well dressed art experts when I was in shabby jeans and trainers. One of the necklaces a lady wore probably cost more than the £1,100 I had in the bank.
The only worthwhile thing in the auction was a statue of 3 semi naked women. I now saw why I was there. The statue wanted me to give it a suitable home. I was the statue's slave.
THE STATUE'S POWER
The woman with the expensive necklace came up to admire the 9 inch statue. I could hear what she was thinking. She wanted to be one of those semi naked women cavorting nude for the sculpture's pleasure. Her husband came up and I could hear what he thought. He wanted to be the sculpture seeing and positioning and repositioning the 3 nude women.
I could see that none of the 3 women the husband had in mind was his wife. But I did recognise one of the younger ladies in the auction as one he wanted to see naked.
But then the statue came up for auction. The auctioneer said "Ladies and gentlemen lot 33. This is a reproduction of Canova's statue of the 3 Graces. The original version is in the Hermitage Museum, in Russia).
This is a copy of the version made by Canova specifically to be placed in Woburn Abbey. Canova came over to England to supervise its installation. This second version is now owned jointly by the Victoria and Albert Museum and the National Galleries of Scotland.
Shall we start the bidding at £200?"
So far bidding started at half of the auctioneer's suggestion. The statue said to me "Bid £1,000."
What else could I do but obey?. So I raised my hand and shouted "One thousand pounds"
The auctioneer was astounded. He probably expected it to sell for £250. Now a shabbily dressed man was bidding £1K.
He asked "I know its a good cause but are you sure?"
The statue instructed me to say to the auctioneer "You are right. It is a good cause and I am being a little mean. Make that £1,100."
That meant I would only have a few pounds left in my account. And I had no idea what the charity was.
The auctioneer asked "Any further bids?"
There were none. There was a round of applause and I wrote a cheque. It was only then that I discovered that the charity was for a home to house street sleepers when the weather was bad.
MY GIRLFRIEND
As they returned the statue into its box I dreaded what Claire, my live in girlfriend, would say. We were saving up money for the day we will get married. Now I had blown £1,100 on a statue.
From the security of its box the statue said "Don't worry she will love having me displayed in your bedroom. Go and speak to that woman in the necklace. Tell her she has lovely tits. Then ask the husband if it is all right for his wife and him to come back to your place and for them to pose nude for you."
It was no surprise that I returned home with a statue and 2 well dressed strangers. The husband, Bill, explained to Claire how I had managed to get a £25,000 statue for only £1,100. It came as a shock to me that it was worth £25,000.
The well dressed woman, Tania, said to Claire "But to truly appreciate the statue you have to be nude yourself. Do you mind if my husband undresses you and you undress him? And then watch as your boyfriend undresses me and then I undress him?"
Claire said nothing and let a perfect stranger undress her. She paraded round naked giving us all a good view of her petite tits and shaven pubic mound and firm buttocks.
I HEAR WHAT CLAIRE THINKS
I could hear what Claire was thinking. She loved being the centre of attraction. She wanted to see the other man's cock. She hoped if it would be erect from seeing her nude body.