Brought to Heel

If Conall had any sense he wouldn't be refreshing his email inbox every half hour and counting the days since he'd last heard from Eon.

If

he had any sense, which he apparently didn't, based purely on how often his thoughts wandered in their direction.

Despite the bitter awareness that it made him a liability to everything Orpheus was working for, he still kept checking for Eon's next message. The irresponsible part of him, which kept bringing back up the fantasies created by his overcooked brain, was desperate to hear from them. As were the parts which were charmed by them, and stubbornly admired them still. The part of him which said it was all a terrible idea insisted that he email them again to tell them he would be unable to contact them any further, to make his apologies and to block their email address to prevent any chance of temptation.

But, he just.

Couldn't.

He couldn't bring himself to do it.

Eon didn't email him back until several days later regardless, which had Conall feeling both anxious and grateful. Anxious, because what if they had lost interest in him all of a sudden - an absurd feeling to have when he had literally considered blocking them - and grateful, because he had time to try to get himself back to some kind of baseline of self-control. He clearly needed that time after how he had imagined them... After he'd imagined them calling him their pet and gotten off on it. The thought made him shiver in a way that he couldn't pretend was solely apprehension. Maybe it would have been better if they'd taken even longer to reply, if the memory of what he'd done retained that amount of power over him.

Still, he couldn't help the flutter of simple excitement when he opened their newest message. He had waited to read it until after work, in case there was anything in there which might make him inclined towards distraction. The upside was that he had something to look forward to after work other than eating alone in his apartment and listening to music.

"Dear Conall,

You are too kind, as always. It was a pleasure to see you again. If only we had gotten closer when I was still site director, hmm? I hope we will have cause to meet in person again before too much time has elapsed, albeit without any more messy accidents on my part. (For which I must profusely apologise, regardless of it being entirely involuntary on my part.)

Yes, I promised to give you some recommendations! Forgive me for delaying in my reply, I wanted to narrow it down to just one to start so you don't get too overwhelmed, but it's so hard to pick favourites. It took me a while to get down to a shortlist, especially since favourite is such a subjective term. Does it mean one I enjoyed, or found moving or profound, and then what about the technical and stylistic aspects, or significance in cinema overall? It's a lot to consider. So, don't take it to mean this is my number 1 movie of all time, but I think you could start by watching The Twelve Sacrifices, directed by Emilio José Ríos. I doubt you've heard of it, or at least not in any great detail, but please don't look up anything about it before watching. I want to know what you think without filtering it through any expectations you would get from reading reviews and ratings. Please? ;)

I would very much enjoy getting to hear your unvarnished opinion on it! Afterwards I can send more recommendations, but don't rush yourself. Let me know when you've watched that one first. If you want to send any music or other recommendations in return I am of course open to them!

Kind regards,

Eon''

Conall blushed like he always did when they wrote some kind of flattery directed at him, and then blushed harder again when they alluded to their 'messy accident'. It was sweet of them, expressing an interest in meeting again even if it probably wouldn't - and shouldn't - happen. Not as long as he had a single conscious thought in his head to remind him of what a bad idea it was.

At least he had an answer as to why their reply had taken so long. It was... Cute, honestly, that they took picking out a movie recommendation so utterly seriously. He caught himself wondering if they usually thought about him as much as he did of them - whatever the context - in between emails. Or did this only get their attention so much because it was related to their passion for cinema?

It surprised Conall how strongly he wanted them to be thinking of

him

.

As tempted as he was to look up details of the movie to know what he was in for, he also wanted with an unsettling intensity for them to be pleased with him.

Ah, fuck. There he went again. It was only an email about movies, for goodness' sake.

But that didn't stop the shivery feeling that accompanied the idea of them being pleased with him.

It also didn't stop the shudder of his breath as the feeling deepened, along with the thought that they'd be pleased that he was so easily affected just by the idea of them.

He was being ridiculous. It was a conversation about movies. He could at least reply to the email before his libido started dictating to him.

"Dear Eon,

I would have very much enjoyed the chance to get to know you when we still worked together, but that doesn't mean we can't converse now. You'll have to forgive my caution, but I think it's best to avoid future in person meetings, given our respective positions. It is a pleasant thought at least, even if it will stay just that. We can still keep in contact! I don't see any harm in that, especially in simply talking about movies.

Never let anyone say you're not serious about your cinema. Perhaps I will have to be more specific next time I ask about movie recommendations? I could have narrowed it down to a single genre, at least. No need to worry about the delay, I appreciate the passion you put into answering. I can't say I've ever heard of that movie, so you're in luck there. I promise not to look up anything about it before watching. The mystery makes me a little apprehensive, but it's the least I can do after you put such thought into the selection.

Please don't expect any intelligent analysis of it afterwards, though; I'm not really a movie guy, so I can't promise I'll appreciate whatever makes it one of your favourites. I'll let you know my thoughts once I've had a chance to watch it.

Kind regards,

Conall"

Okay, there. He'd replied like a normal human being who didn't get worked up simply from receiving an email.

Annoyingly, he

still

felt a little aroused from imagining Eon being pleased with him. It was only a conversation about movies! There was no need to get all shivery and sensitive, all because he'd happened to get himself off a whole week ago thinking about them being pleased with him, thinking about them praising him for touching himself, thinking about them calling him a good boy over and over until he came into his own fist.

It had been enjoyable, admittedly. That might even be underselling it. If he'd ever been that relaxed after an orgasm before, he couldn't remember it.

Conall chewed on his lip as he recalled that. There was no harm in just thoughts, surely, same as there was no harm in just emailing someone. He needed to relax, right? It was one way to relax. Plus he hadn't so much as touched himself the whole week long, in the hopes of getting how good it had felt out of his thoughts. He was starting to feel pent-up, which would be counterproductive to keeping a clear head. It was time enough to relieve some tension.

With that decision made, he put his phone aside to go prep. As he did, he tried to decide what to use as inspiration during. He wanted to at least attempt to find something more compelling than Eon to think about while getting off - there had to be something. Nothing on PornClub seemed to fit the bill, mortifyingly enough. His attempts at looking up vanilla porn were disappointingly unsatisfying, while anything featuring his recently identified kinks got him going but also inevitably got him thinking about Eon, which he was trying to avoid.

Maybe it wasn't really Eon, though.

Maybe... Maybe he was into furries and he hadn't realised it? And petplay happened to have enough of the 'pretending to be an animal' aspect for him to find it fulfilling? He had found himself worked up over the lion and tiger wrestlers, after all. It was worth a try, even if he wasn't confident about rerouting his one-track mind. A lot of his fantasies lead back to Eon now, but that didn't mean all of them had to.

He vaguely recalled having heard of a furry gallery website called FurIdentity. That was probably a good place to start. He made an account so he could view mature content, and then with a wry little smile to himself he tried searching for 'petplay'.

The FurIdentity interface was confusing to navigate as a new user. He almost gave up before he figured out how to filter the search results to remove the things that made him grimace.

Almost

gave up. He was too stubborn.

Then he had the right search terms and a page full of art that felt like being slapped with abrupt, sharp arousal. There was an animation of werewolves or wolf people or maybe they were supposed to be dog people, one fucking the other's ass and pressing his head against the ground with a broad hand, showing dominance. Conall ended up staring at it for multiple loops, feeling lightheaded as his hard-on came back full force.

With slightly clumsy hands he stretched himself while letting the animation run in the background. He slid the dildo up his ass and sat gingerly on his computer chair, testing how it felt to rock back on the toy. It was nice, but not quite enough by itself. He cleaned his fingers and scrolled through the next page of search results. Honestly, he was a little envious of the bottoms in the art. What he wouldn't give to be fucked so hard it drove all the thoughts from his head. Oh, sure, it was art, it was exaggerated, but he wanted to feel like that, like his thoughts were being fucked right out of him. Not to mention the array of interesting dicks on display.

A lot of ones with thick - knotted was the word, he gathered from the descriptions - knotted bases. The thought of taking something like that sent an intrigued flutter through him. He saw plenty of those dicks in the art - there were a lot of furry wolves and dogs. Lions and tigers featured heavily too. Some bears. So many dragons - the FurIdentity userbase would probably lose it if they found out 'dragons' were real in metahuman form. Hmm. There definitely had to be metahumans using the website too. Was someone from Orpheus monitoring it?

God, Conall, stop thinking about work for one evening. Look at another animation and just jerk off for once.

On the next page there was a piece of artwork that stopped him thinking about work right away. In it, someone had drawn a goat furry reaming a dog furry. An unusual pair. The goat looked nothing like Eon - wrong number of arms, for one - but... It reminded him of them. Before he could stop himself, he'd started to imagine himself in the same position - being bent over by clawed hands, wreathed with the scent of incense and arousal, hot breath on his neck, fur brushing his skin along with the hot press of breasts against his back...

The thought scattered in panic the moment after. He squeezed his thigh so hard with one hand that his nails dug in. That was too much. Thinking about Eon praising him - it was a bad idea, but it was whatever, them only talking to him or looking at him was a relatively harmless little fantasy, even if they were a metahuman. It wasn't him thinking about them touching him. Naked and full-body contact.

Conall bit his lip and took deep breaths through his nose, clicking away from the browser window. He was still turned on. The shock of noticing his own thoughts hadn't stopped them from being hot. Fuck, what was he supposed to do about that? He was so

bad

at not thinking about Eon. By trying not to, he'd ended up doing it again but worse.

If he couldn't stop himself thinking about them while jerking off, he could at least stick with the safer option. Just looking at him, just praising him. That was okay, wasn't it? Even if it ever happened in reality, he couldn't end up transformed only from that. So it was - it wasn't fine really, he was still thinking about a metahuman - it was better. Just watching him. Conall closed his eyes and called to mind the image of Eon staring at him, expression oh so pleased, and he took his hand away from his thigh. Looking at him, exactly like that. Safe distance, but close enough for their voice to carry even if it dipped into a husky whisper. He wrapped his fingers around his leaking cock and sighed into the thought of Eon calling him

good

because he'd touched himself. The twinge of guilt over betraying his resolution to keep Eon out of his fantasies didn't lessen his arousal at all.

They'd suggested meeting and while that wouldn't - couldn't - happen, the idea of them being there and watching him... He groaned aloud. Maybe they would sit on a seat across from him in his living room area, his coffee table maintaining the safe distance between them while they watched him with dark, attentive eyes. Conall rocked back and forth on his chair slightly, making the toy rub his insides, and imagined doing the same while Eon watched. If they praised him for that - or teased him, called him a horny, needy puppy who'd rut against any length put in him - how could he ever last? Oh fuck, fuck, if he was on the floor across from them, if he had a toy he could ride more easily, he could show off. He'd show them how eager and desperate a pup he could be, and fuck himself on it in front of them. Be a needy pet for them, showing off for them. The way they looked at him made him want to act like he was just a mindless pup who was desperately horny, desperate for their approval. In reality he stroked himself hard and fast, while in his fantasy he showed off that he could be as shameless as Eon was, if they only murmured words of encouragement and made those deep throaty noises of satisfaction he'd heard when they were in his office.

If they got off on watching him like that... The thought sent heat down through him like a meteor strike. If showing off for Eon could turn them on as much as imagining it turned Conall on... He was fucked if he'd ever be able to contact them without getting horny over that idea. They'd never even said they wanted to see him like that, but their glances and voice and mannerisms were suggestive enough to imply it and that implication was hot enough to start him going off on all these wild tangents. They'd left a thought hanging there to pick up on and he'd gone and taken that and completed the thought and ran with it and here he was getting off on the thought of them getting off to him... If they ever said it to him plainly, his brain might melt. He really was desperate, taking an idea and running so far with it, a dog with a bone, just a desperate dog, but if they wanted him he could be so good for them, anything to hear them call him a good boy, a good dog. Good boy...

Conall's mind chased the scenario round and round and kept repeating the words as he shifted back and forth, back and forth, stroking himself up and down, up and down. A good dog. A good boy. Such a good boy. They'd be so pleased with him. Doing all of this by himself... Getting himself ready for them. Conall whined and shuddered and came in his hand. He was a good boy, and he felt so good because of it.

A pleasant fuzziness stayed with him afterwards, as he cleaned and then followed the impulse to look up something he could put on the ground and ride like he imagined. He'd seen some fantasy toy makers on FurIdentity, and he still had a site tab open. With a cursory search he found that there were lots of makers and they had lots of interestingly shaped designs. He followed the links to a few Itsy shops.

He hadn't realised before that there were people selling dildos on there as well as yarn and art. He bit his lip as he looked at the ones with knotted bases, but maybe those were a big leap from the plain John Doe of a model he still had up his ass. A different one caught his eye, somewhat long and tapered, elegant but thicker towards the base. It was long and the widest part of the shaft a bit intimidating, but he could still use the rest as he worked towards taking the whole thing. It came with a suction cup option too. Why were there so many colour options? It was too much to think about so soon after coming. He picked an arbitrary combination and checked out before his brain woke up enough to make him reconsider a luxury sextoy purchase.

With that done, he gingerly stood up from the chair. His arousal had cooled and now he was hungry. He took out the toy and left it in the bathroom sink to rinse later, washed his hands and microwaved a plate of the food he'd cooked at the weekend. By the time he was done eating, he was present enough mentally to blush and fret a little over the direction of his fantasies. He'd at least kept a physical distance between him and Eon even in his imagination, though, so no matter what weird thoughts he'd had, it was okay. More or less okay. It was as safe as a fantasy about a metahuman ever could be. A laughable thought in and of itself, although it

was

only a fantasy.

He'd keep his distance in his thoughts and in real life. That would have to be good enough, because he couldn't stop himself thinking about them. If he couldn't stop it, at least he could do damage control. No thoughts about touching them, no meetings with them. Distance. Damage control. It would have to be enough.

-

Conall stared at the screen in front of him as the credits rolled, seeing the names pass by but not really reading them. He was still trying to understand what he had witnessed over the last two hours.

Before he could second-guess himself, he opened the email app on his phone.

"Dear Eon,

What in the world did I just watch?

Yours sincerely,

Conall"

He mechanically stood and got himself a glass of water, brow furrowed. His phone beeped with a notification.

"My dear Conall,

You'll have to forgive me for laughing when I received your message. I take it you had a chance to watch The Twelve Sacrifices? It tends to have that effect on a lot of people on the first viewing.

In fond amusement,

Eon"

Conall felt his ears heat in embarrassment at the amused tone of Eon's reply. Well, he never claimed to be a film expert!

It maybe wasn't entirely embarrassment. He read back over the 'my dear Conall' part with his heart beating a little harder than necessary. It was only an email, not some Victorian billet-doux.

"Dear Eon,

It's a relief I'm not the only one to come out of the movie feeling extremely confused. Don't forget that I'm hardly as au fait with cinema as you are! If there was anything in the visual language that explained it all, I couldn't see it past the copious amounts of fake blood in the final scene. I'm still not sure why the protagonist kissed the priest on the cheek before running him through with a spear. I hadn't picked up any sort of sexual or romantic tension between them? It's probably supposed to mean something but I'm completely lost, honestly. I feel like maybe there was a metaphor in there somewhere but I couldn't make it out. Help?

Yours sincerely,

Conall."

The embarrassment wasn't the nicest feeling to sit with while waiting for a reply. Well, he'd done as asked and watched it without any spoilers, so that had to count for something even if his impressions were shallow and childish.

"My dear Conall,

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shame you for not understanding the film. I honestly really enjoy getting to hear an unvarnished first impression - if you were watching the movie beside me, I would be spending half my time watching your expressions instead of the screen. It can be a bit impenetrable on the first watch, but that's normal. I remember being weirdly moved by it before I sat down to think about why.