Copyright Oggbashan April 2021
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
Most of this is NOT an account of my real problem-solving with Brigit, but the story of dreams of wishful thinking. It didn't happen. Whether I though it really could? It is very unlikely.
+++
Part One is 'Brigit'; Part Two is 'Brigit Too'; Part Three is 'Brigit's Babies'; Part Four is 'Christmas Debt'; Part Five is 'Women's Refuge'; Part Six is 'Housing'; Part Seven is 'Addiction'.
+++
A few minutes ago I had just finished a call from Andrew, my IT manager. The Russians were trying to break into our computer systems again. He had asked me to approve ten hours overtime so that his people could foil the Russians. I had agreed.
I was already angry as I started to read my quality Sunday newspaper. I was getting more and more angry with news reports from around the world. I know I am old but I felt there was too much happening that was wrong. What started my anger was a report that the Chinese had launched four large killer satellites and had lost contact with all of them. Each was designed to destroy other satellites but they covered the whole Northern hemisphere and could strike anywhere on the earth's surface. That was a serious escalation in the space war. But there were other reports that made me nearly as angry.
The paper was shaking in my hands as the Goddess Brigit walked into the room.
"What's annoyed you, Raymond?" she asked as she gave me a cup of coffee.
"Too much. The world is going to pot and I can't do a thing about it. All we have done has had a minor impact locally. That is great but it only affects a few thousand. World events affect billions and yet I can't do anything about them, nor can the whole UK government."
"How good are your computer people at your company?"
It seemed an odd question but Brigit usually has a purpose.
"Very good. We produce machines that have to be hack-proof and always reliable no matter what anyone tries to do to them. Today they are trying to stop the Russians from wrecking our systems. My people will probably succeed because they are good at what they do."
"And you supply some of your equipment to GCHQ?"
"No one is supposed to know that, but as a goddess who can read my mind, I suppose you do know."
"I do. How easy would it be for you to set up a largish satellite disk that few would know about? Where might you put it?"
"It depends how large. A really big one couldn't be hidden."
"About three metres diameter. I could be inside a tent or building with a roof transparent to radio waves."
"Then I'd probably put it inside Fort Inkerman - the women's refuge. I could put up a small marquee to cover it and the fibre broadband to the Fort is so good it could cope with most traffic."
"OK. I think if you could erect and hide the satellite disk, and get your computer people working, with my help we could wreck the Russians' efforts."
"We could?"
"For a start we could stop the Russians from interfering, not just in your company, but throughout the UK and possibly for all the Five-Eyes nations."
I wasn't convinced but I know that Brigit doesn't ask the impossible. After two weeks of sessions of Brigit-worship with Deirdre, many cups of Brigit's Irish coffee, and the hard work of my IT people we had a satellite disk installed and working inside Fort Inkerman. The hardest part had been getting the women's refuge to agree. They had with the proviso that the installation and maintenance of the disk would be done by the women on my IT team.
For the first four days I spent many hours with Brigit deciding on what we needed. I had leased a small unit on the industrial estate, connected to the satellite dish. Inside we had built a sealed chamber protected by a massive Faraday cage. We had bought some very high end servers and they were completely independent of my works. Anyone breaking into that system couldn't affect anything else. All communications between that site and my main one were outside the building by mobile and even then, most contact was face to face and by word of mouth.
My IT guys (and girls) were happy with their new toys. I had spent more than one hundred thousand pounds but as it would protect my company, it was company money, not my own funds. I had also arranged for the main servers to have much upgraded security protection, state of the art and even innovative, helped by advice from GCHQ.
Brigit announced that she would be away for about a week. I was happy because I could see we were progressing and that we might be able, with Brigit's help, to really defend ourselves against the Russian hackers.
Each night I worshipped Brigit between Deirdre's legs before a mutually satisfactory coupling. I was happy even if I still had residual anger against some of the things I was reading in my daily papers.
After a fortnight Brigit reappeared. She gave me three fat folders to pass on to my IT people.
"Raymond? I have been in Russia and China. Their security systems cannot cope with a goddess who can read minds, even Russian and Chinese minds. These folders should give your people enough information to really wreck the Russian and Chinese state-sponsored hackers."
My IT people fell on Brigit's folders as if they were children given the whole contents of a toy shop. Andrew gave the projects to eight of his twelve people.
On the Wednesday afternoon Andrew came into my office to report progress.
"Raymond? Those folders were invaluable but with limitations. We have got into the Russian site. They had a back door which we have disabled and put in six of our own. We could bring them down at any time but I thought that using an improved version of their ransomware would be better. We can shut off everything and ask for bitcoin before they could use any of their computers."
"Go for it, Andrew. I'm pissed off with their frequent attacks."
"OK. They will be out of action within an hour and we will stop them from hacking into any UK site. But the Chinese? They're more of a problem. Although we are competent in Russian, our Chinese skills are inadequate. For some odd reason, their space agency programmed in English, maybe because they stole the technology from the Americans. We have found fourteen flaws in their code and have been able to correct them. Yesterday we tried contacting the nearest satellite and managed to target one of their lasers on some space debris. We didn't DO anything. We think actually taking over the Chinese killer satellites might cause a war. But we could. Shall we?"
"No, Andrew. I think we should leave anything like that to GCHQ. There could be some very awkward repercussions."
"OK, noted. But the Chinese hacking facility is more difficult. Everything is in Chinese. We might be able to degrade their capacity, perhaps by a quarter, but we couldn't stop them."
"But GCHQ might do better?"