Breeders & Bulls

(Chapter 58.) Hans visits.

Hans looks at me and laughs. "Well, Brett, I hope you don't greet all your guests that way." Hans says, and there are two other men with him wearing belts and carrying what looks like some sort of weapon. I think they are called guns. One of the men has a small cock, a bit like Aiden used to be and the other a little bigger, but these are not bull cocks. I notice the bigger of the two men has a cut dick. I stare for a moment just to be sure that his foreskin has not rolled back but no he is cut.

Hans dismisses the men, and he moves towards me. I stare at Hans and his dick. It isn't a big cock may be hanging down four inches, with a long overhanging foreskin. His dick rests over a nice set of balls. He walks towards me and it has a nice sway to it. He opens his arms and hugs me. And kisses both my cheeks before he stands back.

"God, you are gorgeous. Fuck, if the men in Albion all looked like you, I would have moved here with Liam years ago." Hans says and I almost blush, but I do smile.

"Thanks," I say, and am confused. He just called me a man. But I will take the compliment.

"No seriously Brett, that visi screen does not do you justice. Shit Liam, you are lucky. Any trouble with Liam, you let me know and I will remind him just how lucky he got with you dear boy." Hans says, gripping my cheek and shaking it.

"Thanks," I say and look at Liam, who is grinning.

"Mr. Halstad-." I say, but Hans cuts me off.

"Hans, please call me Hans. Shit. I could eat you all up." Hans says and I see he is hard now. Maybe just under six inches, about the size Liam was maybe smaller. I am blushing and hiding my belly.

"Hans, do you want a drink? You must have had a long transport. Liam, get your mother a drink. Hans take a seat. Liam didn't say you were coming. He didn't tell me you had a dick either. I wonder what else he didn't tell me," I say, and smile at Hans and then give Liam a look of thunder.

"Well, I asked him to say nothing. I only told him myself last night. About the visit that is, little shit has known about my dick for ages," Hans says.

"Hans, would you like a drink?" I ask again, still reeling a little from the shock.

"Oh, a dry white wine would be great," Hans says.

"Liam chop-chop. I will speak to you later. Wine for your mother," I say, and Liam gets up.

"You have him well trained, good for you. Oh, so nice to finally meet you in the flesh and there is so much of it. I don't mean the baby bump. No, it is those muscles and legs. God, you are a very attractive man. How are the twins coming on?" He asks, looking at me.

"Yes, great," I say, and let out a belch. "Sorry, I just ate some spicy chicken. Yes, great, well apart from everything. The weight, not being able to work out, tits getting bigger, pissing all the time, the sickness. I am sure you would know if I missed anything out. So no, it is great. I love it," I say.

"Well, you look wonderful. I hated it as well. Still only three more months now. Trust me those are the worst and then the first year, but after that, you will forget all about it. I know I did. I was always forgetting about Liam. God, he was a boring baby. Sleep, eat, shit, piss on repeat for a year. No crying, nothing. I nearly slapped him once to make sure he was real and not some robot sent by his father to spy on me."

"I will have to try that myself, especially these past few months. Eat, piss, work, fuck-- when he can be bothered. Still, he has his uses. Getting you a glass of wine doesn't seem to be one of them," I say.

"Oh shit!" Liam says. He seems to be a little out of it; he gets the service bot and sorts out drinks for himself and his mother.

"Well, I would give you my permission to slap him when required, but I really don't think you need that. It is clear there is only one bull in this house. And it isn't the one with the skinny snake dick." Hans says, and I laugh.

Hans takes the wine and drinks it down. "Liam, dear, get me a beer. That wine was one of the reasons I didn't move here. It is like vinegar." Hans says and we chat for ages.

It turns out Hans is here on business with Liam's father. Something to do with the trade visit to Avon in three months. Apparently, Liam is acting as the go-between.

Hans explains why he came. "When Liam called me and told me that Sam was desperate for a big trade initiative for his presidency and that a trade deal with Avon might be the way to go. I said, no way am I helping that bastard. But I thought about it and it gave me the perfect opportunity to finally see you and my baby boy in the flesh. As for him, that old bastard, I would be happy if I never saw him again. I still haven't forgiven the old git for what he did to Liam.

"I mean Brett, dear, look at him. When I saw him at the international transporter hub, I was shocked. Visi message only shows you so much and Liam here has more to show than would fit on my little visi screen. You obviously took that thing, your belly is evidence of that."

"Well, thank you kindly. It wasn't very hard. I mean, it was hard, but taking it was easy enough. Just slips right in. It isn't too fat. Girth might be more of a problem but no that thing just fits a treat," I say.

"Well, yes dear. Really slips in. That thing slips in? God, Albion is a fucked up place." Hans says, and I like his candor.

"Brett! Mother! I am here." Liam says, looking worried about what either of us might say next.

"Hush, baby, I am talking to Brett. Do something useful." Hans says.

"Liam, Get Hans another beer. So, are you going to meet Sam then?" I ask.

"Probably. At some point this week. Liam will only be able to do so much back and forth. If Sam wants to make a splash as President with a trade deal with Avon, then I will have to at some point. That is the downside. The upside is I am here for a week if that is ok with you Brett? I will be busy but I hope to spend some time getting to know you. I already like what I see." Hans says to me.

"Oh, that could be fun. I like you too, Hans," I say, and belch.

"You know Brett. I could give you some help on diet and you look like a man who keeps in shape but I fear you may have let that slip. I can give you some really good advice on that. What would you say if I could tell you some tips to keep as much of that figure as you can."

"Really, that would be amazing. I just feel like giving up at the moment," I say.

"I know exactly how you feel. Trust me with a few simple tips and tricks. You will pop those little buggers out and get back to the gym and back in shape in no time. I mean, only if that is what you want. I don't want to be rude and interfering."

"Really? No, quite frankly, I like that you speak your mind. Feel free to be as rude as you like. I am tired of people telling me how great I look. Trust me, I know when I look great and right now I am not in my best shape. I would really appreciate a little help. I do seem to have lost my motivation recently." I say and I see that Liam looks a little hurt.

"Well, thanks, Brett, I don't mean to offend, but I know I can be a bit much. So we will do just that. I didn't have half the figure you have when I had that little shit. But I was back in shape in no time. And I said never again and as you can see. I am only built for putting kids in men these days."

We stay up quite late talking and I like Hans. He is quite direct and funny. I think the attraction is that he has had his cock restored and it fascinates me. This is a man who saw things on both sides of the fence and chose to have a cock. I can understand that choice.

.....

The next morning, Hans and Liam go out. However, Hans comes back and takes me out for lunch. Those two men who were with Hans follow us. I don't ask.

Hans ordered some rice and fish, and it was really quite good.

We sit and chatted a little, and I finally picked up the courage to ask the question I have been meaning to ask since I saw him.

"Hans, can I ask you something sort of personal?" I say.

"Brett honey, you can ask me anything you want, but I can guess what you are interested in knowing," Hans says and smiles.

"You well..." I say.

"My dick. You want to know the story. Brett, seriously, you greeted me with the words 'you have a cock' so I guess you were surprised and intrigued." Hans says.

"I well it just... it was..." I say, struggling to find the words.

"Oh Brett, don't be shy. Let me tell you, I met Sam years ago, and he swept me off my feet. I mean Albion men are popular in some circles. Anyway, that wasn't the attraction. He was funny, charming, and impressive. I loved his confidence and his intelligence. The only thing I really didn't care for was his dick. I mean, it was just so fucking big and I don't have some modified 'butt cunt'.

"We eventually did have sex, and it was pretty awful. We would still see one another, cock fight, suck each other off, jerk, that sort of thing, but I could tell he wanted more. He tried to talk me into taking all sorts of shit. I said no. Then he talked me into trying some Pussy Guy. Well, that stuff has been around since before the dark age. The stuff we tried was a variant for a bigger guy. Anyway, it only gives you a temporary vagina. I was still reluctant at first, but it was temporary and you know what, it worked. I mean, with Sam, for me it was never about the sex, but for him, you know Bulls of Albion, fuck, this is a whole country based around sex.

"Anyway, you know the story: For a while it was great. Then the sheath broke, and I got pregnant and I wouldn't move here. He wanted me to come here as a breeder. No way was I doing that. Sam was a fling, someone I would see every six months or so. That was when I saw there was a real dark side to the man. He would still visit, but less often and really just to see Liam. We really had lost any of that old connection.

"Then the business with his boys, the murder and the transporter accident. Well, when Tom and John, his only two bulls went, he really changed. Sam Connor was hiding a really cruel soul. Liam was his last chance at a bull son. He became threatening towards me and Liam. I think that darkness was always there. I just hadn't seen it. Love is blind, they say.

"So there I was in Avon with Liam and a pussy between my legs. I mean, I didn't mind having a cunt, but you know what it is like. Personally, it wasn't for me. I missed my dick. I loved having a dick. Just so much more practical. I missed the look and feel. I missed fucking. I mean, getting fucked was fun, but I missed fucking so much. I hated everything: the leaking, the smell, the bleeds. Well, you know all this shit. Anyway, years later I heard of a restoration treatment for Pussy Guys like me. It was a stupid thing to do. It was a crazy trial of a drug treatment in the country of Finnbass.

"Well, you think Albion is bad? Finnbass is bat shit crazy. Anyway, it didn't work and nearly killed me.Liam brought me here, I was too sick to know what the hell was going on and Liam stayed. Course I was furious with both of them, and especially Liam. I love the boy, and I know you do, but life here... I mean look at him, with that crazy tool between his legs. He looks, well forgive me Brett, but he looks ridiculous, to me at least.

"Anyway, it was just over a year later a clinic opened up in Avon. A restoration treatment. It was tried and tested, not some crazy experimental drug. It was something that was needed. There are many men like me stuck with genitals they don't want or some guys who want to swap. So I contacted them and they started my treatment. I was still not speaking to Liam at that point. Well, I took the chance, and it took a while. About 6 months for this. I mean, for me, the relief of just having my dick back, you have no idea. Actually, I didn't mean that. You are one of the few people who really would understand." Hans finishes speaking.

"How did it grow back? How much bigger could you get it? I mean. I am just curious," I say, and Hans laughs.

"Well, the same way they take it away, I guess. I am not a doctor or a scientist. Apparently now there are even better treatments than the one they used on me. They take less time. Some give you everything back. To be honest Brett, my penis was bigger than this before, but I was just glad to have my dick back." Hans says.

"So you were bigger? Can I ask how much?" I ask.

"Well, we are talking just over an inch." Hans replies and smiles.

"Can you get that inch back?" I ask.

"Brett, dear, those treatments are still in their infancy. I was just pleased. Besides, they call it a restoration treatment. It will restore a person to more or less what they were. Less is the norm. There are clinics that will enhance you, but generally, those things are prohibitively expensive for all but the very rich and are quite risky. I had a friend whose dick had to be cut off when he tried to get it made bigger. The drugs they use here in Albion are not properly regulated or tested. Albion may have perfected dick growth but they don't share that information freely and many people died creating what they call Golden Nectar. That was a brutal time in your country's history. So I do have enough credit for extra inches, but I didn't want to take the risk. I have heard some horror stories, and not just from my friend. Dicks that get bigger but won't get hard without a pump, cocks that are deformed. That whole business is not for me, that wasn't what I wanted. Trust me. I am just relieved that I can finally be happy in my own body." Hans says.

"I see," I say. It makes me think. "I suppose anything is better than my dumb cunt," I say.

Hans laughs. "Trust me, Brett, I do understand. Seriously, once I got it back, I was just pleased. Anyway, this thing is plenty big enough for me. After having lost my dick it was just a sense of relief and completeness. I was me again. I think you probably understand exactly what I am saying." Hans says, sipping on water.

I am fascinated, and we talk about me and my experience in the academy.

I find once I start, I can't stop. He is horrified about how they cut my dick. He tells me that is just so unnecessary. He hadn't realized that Liam was cut as well. Liam had kept his foreskin restoration and those stories secret. Hans tells me that Liam does have a tendency to be a little introverted and secretive, he advises me that is a Connor trait. We both laugh a little as we both know that Liam does sometimes keep things to himself but usually he is trying to do the right things.

We share experiences on our clits. Hans is amazed that I don't have a hood to protect mine. I am fascinated by Hans having a hooded clit. He tells me he even kept his freckles; they looked bigger and gave him a mottled clit. We laugh about that.

I marvel that getting a cunt by taking Pussy Guy would take minutes. He looks sad when I tell him about the jerking room. He wipes away a small tear as I let out the full horror of those months in the breeder dorms. I tell him about the shame I feel. I don't cry. I just feel so relieved to talk to someone honestly.

I tell him everything and don't hold back. I talk about my horror and pain. I tell him about the shame and how it is never ending. I talk about the pain of watching my cock shrink. Days of watching it wither and wilt away. All of that wonderful proud dick was taken from me slowly. I tell him how the sight of my clit, mutilated, sensitive, fat and ugly, is even now a source of torture. I talk about getting fucked and the conflict. How my pussy needs it even as I hate that I need to get fucked.

I get to the end, that day with Sam and my voice, the night I asked Liam to tit me, the loss of my body hair, the way I feel inside, how I feel about the two boys growing in my belly. He wipes tears away at many points of my story.

As I get to the end I find I can't help but cry, I just feel it come on. The relief of knowing that someone heard all of my story and listened without judgment. I don't know why I told him so much. I think because he never gave up. Hans almost lost his own life trying to get his dick back. He held my hand throughout, squeezing it at points. He tells me he is glad I told him my story. I am glad I told him.

We head back to the apartment, and he holds my hand as we walk. We chat and laugh and I know I have made a friend. Someone who really understands me.

....

Over the next few days, I really bonded with Hans. We visit Thomas and Little Brett. He takes me swimming and we swim for two hours solid. He shows me an immersion unit that lets me walk around the snow-capped villages of Avon and my legs ache. It makes me a little dizzy, immersion units do, but it was good exercise and Avon is beautiful. It will be something I will do again.

He teaches me a little bit of yoga things I can do over the next few months. All activities I can do to keep in shape.

"Are you doing this because I am fat?" I ask.

"Well yes. But Brett, before you got pregnant, how many hours did you spend in the gym?"

"A lot."

"So you did that because?" Hans asks.

"Well, I wanted to be big and look good," I reply.

"Exactly. Honey, if that is your thing, being pregnant is no reason to stop trying. Sitting around all day bored and eating spicy chicken, that isn't who you are, is it? I know you are not happy, you already told me that much." Hans says to me.

"Well no. I guess."

"Brett, it took me a short while to work out who you are. You really are not that complicated and I like that about you. No, I love that about you. We are quite similar in some ways. I never gave up hope that I would get my dick back. It almost cost me my baby boy and my life.

"I know our circumstances are very different, but that feeling in your gut, and I'm not talking about the twins, I mean that feeling that you can't be this person. I understand that. Listening to your story, I hope you don't settle and just accept this because it is easier. You feel like just giving up. You have had so much taken from you and you still are fighting that.

"You are still the old Brett that walked into that academy and you are fighting hard to hold on to that. Well Brett, that must be hard. So let's keep you fit, those muscles big and strong. Show these fuckers who you are. A big bull of a man, no matter what they do to you. Brett, you keep fighting to be the man you are inside and never give up, sweetheart." Hans says to me.

"Ok, so yoga, walking, pulses, fish, and water. It is no real substitute for not having a dick, is it?" I say and grin at him and he laughs.

I like Hans because I see hope in him and his story. It might seem impossible now, but it inspires me.

....

He talks about diet, fish, vegetables, fruit and then gets Liam to give the bot a list of restricted items. I did sort of agree and I knew I would thank him one day. The fact that I was using food as a comfort blanket was not in keeping with my character, but when soda went on the list, I almost cried like a baby.

I had also noticed that after that first night; he didn't have a real drink and nor did Liam. Liam told me on the second night he was not allowed a drink till I had safely weaned the babies off the teat and onto the bottle. It was only fair, his mother had told him.

It made me laugh that his mother could tell him off like that. He must be hating this, his mother and me bossing him around.

I liked the attention and the compliments from Hans and the fussing. While he was bossy, it was coming from a good place.

Those men who follow Hans around make sense once he tells me he is the Prime Minister of Avon. We are having a late lunch together. I finally ask who the two men are. He has to explain what all of that means. Something about voting and choice. It all sounded very strange. Everyone gets a choice, even bad people. It sounds like a terrible idea.