Just a quick one today.
Let me know what you think about this spoof, loosely based on a well known story!
Next up on my list, will probably be another romance with a twist.
Hope you enjoy!
Average Joe
*****
Chapter One
Now, you may be expecting a lovely story about a young man's struggle to live life to the fullest. To face adversity and overcome what could be beyond one's wildest imagination. You could be expecting a happy story, with a sad beginning, that leaves one feeling wonder, joy, and hope. And if you are. Fuck off.
"Welcome to Smexy Burger, can I take your order?"
That's him. Jace Merger. You might wanna call him the hero of the story. You might wanna even be him. And well... If you're into cuckolding, you're probably not far wrong.
"Hey Jace, I'll get a number six!"
The obnoxious ass that knows said 'hero' by name, is his best friend, roommate, and unknowing bull. I should specify here, unknowing, meaning Jace has absolutely no proof that this dipshit, high school dropout is fucking his girlfriend of four years. But Neither he nor his girlfriend work and prefer to spend most of their time stoned and watching movies. In his room. With the door closed. And there's always, wait, ALWAYS used condoms laying about. Dude either has a jerk off game a mile wide and no shame, or he's marking territory and Jace hasn't gotten the memo. Either way, working in Smexy Burger isn't ever gonna pay enough to get his own place. So Jace is kinda stuck in this shithole arrangement.
"Hey Matt, Jules at home?"
"You know it, keeping my seat warm!"
Jace sighed internally as he punched in the order. A number six, was a meal for two. If she wasn't in the car, it meant they were... Hanging out... And fuck... One of these days...
"Right, that's twenty-four, ninety."
Matt's face dropped its stupid grin, "c'mon man, what about your little discount?"
Jace sighed, "I can't do that anymore. It was fine when you came once or twice, but you're here every day. My boss won't let me."
"Could'a warned a brother," Matt pouted.
Jace just rolled his eyes, "I told you last week. I told you three days ago, I told you yesterday when you came in for breakfast. Dude, I fucking told you this morning!"
Matt's face twisted, "when?"
"I wrote it on the noticeboard, beside your share of the daily chores."
"OH!" Matt laughed, "that's why I didn't see it. Fuck man, you expect me to wash dishes n shit. You're a real joker."
Jace just sighed, "look, you gonna pay or what?"
"Fuck," Matt sighed, "here." He handed over twenty-five dollars. "I want that ten cents too. I don't tip roomies."
"Drive down to the next window," Jace sighed, closing the shutter.
Alright, so real-time now. Jace, no that's not short for anything. His name is Jace. Jace Conner, born in a little shit hole town full of old people. His parents are caretakers for said old people in a small village. It's called an over fifties resort, but nobody other than the few staff is under seventy. Jace literally grew up sleeping on the couch of a one-bedroom studio apartment, trying to pretend he couldn't hear his parent's fuck like rabbits in the other room. To top it all off, he'd wake up nine days out of ten, to the sound of some old person bashing on the front door because the mailman hadn't come two hours earlier than they were actually expected. Needless to say, the moment Jace had an offer for college, he was off.
Eight years of study, Eight years of dedication. Engineering, electronics, robotics, AND biology. He'd hoped to help people with prosthetics, or design new equipment that aid the body physically. What he really got, was a very long resume, that basically said, I'm qualified, but have no experience. How the fuck do you get experience in building robotic supercomputers that control biological functions, if you can't get a fucking job KAREN!? I'd also like to take a moment to point out, this wasn't just an angry, borderline sexist comment aimed at the fairer gender. No... Karen was the college representative that sold Jace almost three hundred grand in courses, he couldn't use. It's such a shame her bonus let her buy that new car she just had repainted... Fucking Karen... Fucking bitch... Fuck... Sorry, I'll get back on track before this devolves into a rant about how some blonde, middle-aged, two-faced fucking... Fuck... I'll stop. Sorry... Fucking Karen...
ANYWAY!
Fucking Karen... Fuck...
So. Yeah, lots of debt. No experience in relevant fields and the only other option is back to his parents' couch...
"Jace, need you to work a double shift. Mary called in sick with herpes."
Yeah... Fuck you Karen...
Twelve hours later, it was just after midnight when Jace finally staggered through the front door. The subtle aroma of pot wafted down the hall and Jace sighed. At least when Jules was high, she was fun in bed... Only... As Jace walked into his bedroom, Jules wasn't the only one occupying it.
"What the fuck dude?!"
Matt and Jules snorted awake, throwing off the blanket they'd been spooning under. It also allowed Jace to see for absolutely sure, the half-rolled condom over Matt's dick and the wet mess below Jules's hips from her most recent squirt.
"Jace!" Jules called, trying to cover herself.
"Dude, get out of my room!" Matt snapped, holding his dick.
"You're in MY room, fucker!"
Matt looked around for a moment, "oh."
"So what? Eating my food, relying on me to bail you out when you can't make rent and demanding I give you discounts at work isn't good enough? So you go out and get together to fuck me around emotionally as well?" Jace asked.
"It's not like that," Jules said softly.
Jace just nodded. "Sure, I believe you. Get the fuck out."
Jules got quiet for a moment, before turning to look up at him. "Jace, where am I supposed to go?"
Jace just shrugged, "Your parents live in this town. Try there. So long as you aren't here."
"You can stay with me, baby. Don't need this cuck telling you what to do."
"Oh, no Matt. You're going too."
"Fuck off!" Matt snapped. "I ain't going anywhere!"
Jace just shrugged, "suit yourself. But I'm on the lease since you never coughed up for the security deposit. Wonder what the cops'll think when I ask them to search the place."
Matt just scowled for a moment, "you're a real piece of shit, y'know that?"
Jace nodded, "coming from the guy fucking my girlfriend, I'll take that as a compliment. You have until I get out of the shower to be out of my apartment."
With that, he turned and headed for the bathroom. Stepping into the cramped space, there was barely room for the toilet beside the shower. Let alone for the overflowing washing basket. So with a sigh, Jace literally kicked it out into the hall for his ex-roommates to deal with. Closing the door and locking it, he sighed and turned the knob for the hot water. After adding a little cold, it was the right temperature and Jace spent the next few minutes scrubbing away the bad memories from five minutes ago. Unlike his fuckwit ex-housemate, Jace usually left enough hot water for the next person. But this time, he sat and enjoyed it until the water was barely lukewarm. Switching off the water, he toweled off and wrapped it around his waist.
Exiting the bathroom, he did a quick tour of the house. The few bottles of alcohol in the kitchen were gone. The usual place where Matt's weed bowl was vacant. His bedroom looked like someone had stormed through grabbing random things and the spare key was on the floor. All in all, it looked like they'd gotten the message. With a sigh, Jace turned and headed for his room. Thanks to the double shift, he was sorely late on his bedtime, seeing as he had to be up early for the morning shift. So it wasn't in his expectations at all to walk back into his room to see Jules crying at the foot of his bed.
"Jace, please," she said, wiping tears.
He held out his hand and she took it. Pulling her to her feet, Jace gently wiped away her tears. "Look me in the eye, and tell me this was the first time."
Jules glanced up at him for a moment, before lowering her gaze. "I know I fucked up."
"Yup. So get out and don't come back."
"Jace!"
"OUT BITCH!"
Sobbing, she grabbed her backpack full of clothes and headed for the door. The whole while, winging about being sorry. But Jace wasn't having it. He'd thought they were fooling around for months, if not years. Finding evidence was just the cherry of a very large cake. So as he closed, locked then deadbolted his door shut, Jace headed back to his room.
"Mother fucker," He sighed. "Now I gotta change my sheets..."
Twenty minutes later, Jace was laying in bed. His phone was open, watching the video of Jules sucking his dick. With one hand holding his phone, the other around his erectopm. He'd wanted to spare his clean sheets, but after discovering they'd been using his condoms to fuck in his bed, he'd thrown the box out. So now he was going with a handful of tissues. When his need finally rose, he dropped the phone and grabbed the tissues, making sure to catch his mess. It wasn't as neat as wearing a condom, but it was adequate. Mopping himself dry, the wad of tissues went into the trash with the box of condoms. Then after hitting delete on the video, he set his phone on charge and closed his eyes.