Beetlesmith's

Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the horror of the shade.

And yet the menace of the years, finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.

--Invictus; William Ernest Henley

********

Like the condemned man taking that final, agonizing walk to the gallows, I drove home slowly.

I didn't have the courage to see Karen and Gloria and tell them I came up empty-handed. There really wasn't any way out of the mess I've caused. About the only thing of value I learned, and it wasn't much, was that Jack Avery, the first man I gave the elixir too, is my opposite, my Yin.

Poor Jack. Ever since the orgy I staged, he had fallen on hard times. Seems he's acquired an exotic taste for 'canine activities,' to put it mildly, and had been caught several times in public doing the nasty with man's best friend.

It was my fault. I pushed his mind too hard and permanently damaged his psyche when I was helping Denise get out from under him with her divorce. It cost him his job and a normal life in the end.

When Beetlesmith first told me of the existence of a Yin, I contemplated finding out who it might be and kill him, thus disrupting any plans Asmodeus had for us. Now that I know who my Yin is, it doesn't matter. Jack would be as well-protected against death as I am. The only solution that I could see in fixing the mess I've created was the elimination of myself or my Yin, but those two options were denied me.

Checkmate again, Henry.

I saw a sign to a scenic overlook alongside the highway and pulled off. I was about fifteen miles from the city, and I could see the tall buildings of downtown rising above the valley below.

It was twilight time, when the sun had just slipped below the horizon. It had always been my favorite time of day. The stars had yet to stand out against a sky still speckled with a beautiful orange and lavender-colored patchwork of clouds, softly illuminated by the last, refracted rays of the sun.

A warm, gentle breeze from the southwest hinted at summer, and an eerie calm descended across the landscape. It was that part of the day when the day-time animals had sheltered for the evening and the nocturnal wildlife had yet to begin foraging.

I was never much of a city-dweller, preferring the pseudo-rural life of the outer suburbs, but as night descended and I watched the lights begin to wink on along the streets and up the skyscrapers, I couldn't help but see its beauty, and mourned the fact I had rarely spent time within its confines outside of work.

I guess I'm no different than countless others who are about to die. Take one last look at the world and wonder how I let so much time slip away without impact, and what impact I do leave on this world will ring negatively in the future.

And no, I wasn't going to die just yet, but what difference does that make? Now or twenty years from now, my life as I've known it has ended.

And not only my life. I knew that by this time tomorrow everything ends, more or less. Maybe not all at once, but the end will come, slowly and inconspicuously to most. But the world that I've known will end, and end in a very dark future when my sons eventually grow to manhood.

I had no way of stopping it except to take Kahelane's path by denying Asmodeus what it wanted--sons. That I could not do, as selfish as it sounds. I could not sacrifice those that I love for the world that was a stranger to me.

The choice left to me wasn't to go along with Asmodeus' plan or not. I didn't see it that way. My choice is to choose between the world or Karen.

I know in my heart what I told Kahelane was true, 'I didn't know the world, but I know Karen and the others.' And I cannot look her in the eyes, or Gloria's, and say you must die so that a stranger may live.

Kahelane thought I was short-sighted and too concerned with only what I knew rather than the big picture. He implied that my love for Karen was blinding me to the more severe peril, and he was right.

However, I couldn't help but feel that if the world's religions are how the Bright Ones try to influence the good in us, then they have already lost despite what Kahelane thought. I couldn't sacrifice Karen's life for what I considered an already lost cause.

I didn't want to live in hell with her, and I couldn't live in this world without her. So, if I can't stop the former from happening, I would at least grab onto the latter and hold on tight for as long as I could.

Making up my mind on what I would do, I stayed a little bit longer and watched as the world begins to end.

**

The night sky was black as pitch when I finally climbed back into my car to go home. I had delayed the inevitable long enough, and it was time I told Karen and Gloria our remaining options, either the rock or the hard place, with a side order of damnation.

I had no sooner turned onto the highway when Karen's ringtone went off on my cell. I figured she was getting impatient and wondering where I was.

"I know I'm late. I'll be home in about thirty minutes," I said into the phone.

On the other end of the line, I heard a familiar voice from the past.

"I know it was you that fucked me over, Henry."

Roger 'fucking' Kendall.

"Hello Roger. How's the unemployment line been?"

I had forgotten about Roger. Jack Avery wasn't the first male I had given the elixir.

"Keep laughing, asshole, but it's my turn, now. Paybacks are a real bitch and revenge is sweet. Come home Henry, but not too quickly. I want to play with your bitches for a while. Then you can watch while I fuck them in the ass."

He disconnected before I could respond. I drove the rest of the way home like a bat out of Hell, which is kind of appropriate given my destiny.

**

I found them in the bedroom. Karen and Gloria were on the bed, naked and doing the sixty-nine while Kendall watched from a distance.

"Ah Henry," Kendall said with a sneer, "That didn't take long."

"I thought you'd be nine inches deep in a tight ass by now," I said with false bravado, trying to mask my anger and fear.

"All in due time, but first, the moment has arrived for that long-anticipated decision of yours. Choose to side with me. Do the deed and give me sons, and then you and your women can live out the rest of your lives in contentment. Refuse and...well you know what happens. It's time to decide"

At first, his question surprised me into silence, until I realized the person standing in front of me wasn't really Kendall, but Asmodeus.

"I thought you couldn't fully cross the barrier and possess us." I said, still trying to sound calm.

Hearing my voice, Karen and Gloria lifted their heads up from between each other's legs. Their black in black obsidian eyes stared back at me, revealing that they, too, were in possession.

He smiled slyly, and said, "I can't, and I'm not. You and your opposite are different. You're what we amusingly call 'twilight.' You exist right on that boundary between our two planes. So, technically I am still within my own realm. Now, what do you decide?"

It was my turn to smile. "I need a drink first. Care to join me?"

"What?" he said in a tone of disbelief.

I surprised him, and his reaction to my glib answer surprised me. I thought he would have seen all manner of subjugates, from lickspittles and slathering sycophants quivering in abject fear, to those who stood brash and proud, trying to hide their fear. None of it should have phased him, except I had taken him aback with a simple offer of a drink. Moreover, his tone suggested real uncertainty about what I was willing to do. Maybe it was as Kahelane said. I was unique and had real value to Asmodeus where he couldn't risk losing me now that he was at the precipice of his greatest triumph.

I was truly a man with nothing to lose. And although it didn't make me dangerous, as one being without options often became, it did give me an edge. And I wondered how far I could push him into doing something against his better interests?

Time to really dance with the Devil. And make it a waltz, maestro--something slow and intimate for a private affair, up-close and personal.

"How many millennia have you waited for this moment? What's ten minutes more? Let your minions continue playing with each other for a little while longer and have a drink with me. I doubt they will mind."

Not waiting for an answer, I abruptly left him with the women as I went downstairs to the liquor cabinet.

I downed two quick slugs of scotch and then long poured a third before easing into an overstuffed lounger in the living room to wait.

Within a few minutes he stepped into the room. It was difficult for him to mask the slow burn on his face.

"Help yourself to the eighteen-year-old Oban on the counter."

"I prefer wine if I drink."

"In that case, there's an excellent Bordeaux in the cabinet next to the fridge."

"Are you trying to provoke me, Henry?"

"Absolutely not. Given your dangerous lack of impulse control through the centuries, my aim isn't to piss you off. I want to live. I want my wife and friends to live, as well. However, I would like to talk to you on equal footing without worrying about deadly consequences."

He ignored my offer of wine and sat in a chair across from me. Smiling slyly, he asked with a hint of sarcasm, "Equal footing?"

"All of our previous conversations were in my dreams. I felt I was at a disadvantage, and there were many things I wanted to ask you but forgot at the time given the circumstances. At least now we can talk face to face on a neutral playing field."

"Alright, we'll talk. First, explain my lack of impulse control. I didn't like that comment."

"Sorry. I couldn't think of anything better to say."

"You mean anything less insulting."

"You must admit you have an unyielding personality when things don't go your way. For example, in our last conversation you mentioned a woman named Sarah. It was a slip on your part because you were talking about Karen at the time. As I thought about your slip over the past year, I thought you might be referring to Abraham's Sarah, which would make sense related to prophecy, but then I remembered a story from the Tobit. It talks of another Sarah living in a later time. Is that the Sarah you mentioned?"

"You've done your research. I cannot deny that." He hesitated for a moment as if in deep contemplation, then continued, "I have known many Sarahs over the course of my dealings with you mortals, but Raguel's Sarah was special."

"I should think so. Her father married her to seven different suitors, and you slaughtered each of them on their wedding night before they could consummate the marriage. That's quit a fit of jealousy."

"Well, that was a different time, and I was...impetuous."

"So, the story is true?"

"As far as it goes. Your ancient texts are such a jumbled concoction of half-truths and mythology, and far more of the latter than the former. It's a wonder any of you understands anything about yourselves, let alone the world."

"What made Sarah so special?"

It was obvious I had touched a very sensitive nerve with that question as he stared back at me with barely contained fury in his eyes.

"I don't mean to pry. I only ask because you implied that Karen and this Sarah are much alike."

His eyes slowly returned to normal as he explained, "She was extremely beautiful and innocent, but not naïve. She was wise far beyond her years, knowing the ways of the world while maintaining a chaste distance from it. She carried no illusions about any of it, or of me. She possessed all the fine qualities of your kind wrapped up in a single person, but mostly she was wholly incorruptible. Call her an infatuation. Call her an indulgence. One time I was not above such petty emotions. Now, if you're satisfied with my answer, I would quickly move onto another topic."

I kept prodding, "You see these qualities in Karen?"

"You're beginning to bore me. If I were you, I would get on with it before you witness my lack of impulse control first-hand."

"I just wanted to say that I was both proud and humbled to learn that a powerful being as yourself took a keen interest in Karen, but I'll move on." I added, jokingly, "Getting back to the Tobit, can I expect Raphael to save me?"

He smiled, and said, "Not hardly. The days when The Others took an active interest in human affairs are over. This is my time now. I'm on the ascension."

"So, none of the Bright Ones will intervene on my behalf like they did for Sarah?"

"I told you before, absentee landlords."

"Not quite. As with you, I know now the Bright Ones are continually working behind the scenes, as I now understand the purpose of my sons. They are meant to break the influence of the Others. You hinted at it the last time we talked when you said something along the line: 'Their influence has been right under my nose ever since I walked this earth.' They influence humanity through the great religions of the world, and my sons will set out to destroy those religions."

He sat back in his chair and smiled. "Bravo. You've reasoned it out. You're more intelligent than I thought, or, at least, more intuitive."

"I can't take credit for that. I talked with another who's more intuitive."

He lifted an eyebrow before commenting, "Ah yes, Kahelane. When did he figure things out?"

"Not till very late in the game. Not until I talked with him. I provided him the final clue," I paused a moment for effect, "A clue I got from Beetlesmith, by the way."

He was visibly agitated, and for the first time not with me. "Beetlesmith talks too much. I'll have words with the old bastard after this is over." He stared at me again, and then shifted his ire back to me, "I hope you're not thinking of doing anything foolish like Kahelane. He was good too, like you, but not good enough. He failed miserably in the end. Just as you will if you make the same choice."

"That's what I'm talking about with 'impulse control.' Sarah, Kahelane, and probably with countless others, maybe you could have handled things better?"

"Really? Amuse me with your insights."

"How many like me have you put in this situation? Not the ones who went along with your plan. I'm more curious about those who refused you out of some sense of duty to goodness. Men who would sacrifice all that they knew and loved for a world they didn't. Men like Kahelane."

"Would you believe I lost count?"

"No. I think you remember everyone and everything, particularly every slight heaped on you. And let me tell you why I believe this using my insights, as you say. When Beetlesmith first told me about you and the plan and what was expected of me, my first thought wasn't about protecting the world and its people. My only concerns were for Karen and Gloria and nothing else. Granted, I was under the mistaken impression that I alone was destined for Hell. Beetlesmith saw to that with his lies, and I was still stupid enough to believe him. So, thinking my time and power were limited, I set about ensuring their safety by giving them material wealth when I was gone, and created Roman Wilderness for that purpose."

He laughed heartily, and said without modesty, "It was a magnificent plan, you'd have to admit."

"Oh yes, magnificent and executed to perfection."

He sneered at my answer. "The damning of so many souls isn't what makes it perfect. It's that I used your love against you. Love is an emotion that runs deep in your kind, and for good reason. Love is the foundation of all that is good and kind in the universe. It is even the bulwark of something as esoteric as a need for justice and to differentiate between right and wrong. And I took that powerful emotion that is used by your kind to foment good and turned it on its head. I made you use your love to perform a great evil, and that's the sweetest thing. That's what's perfect."

"And it's because of that love that gives me the courage to talk with you now."

He lifted an eyebrow, amused. "Ah. Now we come to the real reason for our little talk. You wish to bargain. I don't need to tell you how that went for Milton's Faust or the myriad of other idiots of your kind stupid enough to cross wits with me through the years."

"Not a bargain, per se. I have nothing to bargain with except my compliance, but I would like to enter into a mutual accord that may benefit both of us."

Again, he cocked an eyebrow but this time out of curiosity.

I continued, "First, let me finish with my insights. Even though I didn't understand or know what I was doing, there are many who would say that my decision to blindly follow along was selfish. And on some level, I would agree with them. But this last time with Beetlesmith, when it became clear to me what I had truly done and what will become of the world once it's under your dominion, my first thought wasn't saving the world at all. The world simply disappeared into a black hole of forgotteness. My only thought was to protect those I love from the insanity that will soon descend on everyone. More selfishness, I suppose."

"Indeed," he said, laughingly.

"That was three days ago, and since then I've thought a great deal about what's expected of me and what it means. And the more I thought, the more I realized mine was a natural reaction. How could it not be? Who in their right mind would choose slaughtering their own family instead of a stranger?

"Kahelane did."

"Yes, Kahelane did. I wonder where he found the strength. As for me, I'm like everyone else. Most of us are weak, and when faced with life or death we will choose life no matter how degrading that life may end up being. Along those same lines we try to protect those we love, first. Everything else is secondary.

"Kahelane thought the world was improving. That the Others' influence was winning out and making us better in the long run. He may be right, I don't know. But I couldn't help feeling he was just grasping at straws by trying to rationalize his decision. And even now, I can't help feeling the world has already fucked itself beyond redemption, and whatever decision I make today won't really change the outcome one way or the other. It will speed up our journey into Hell, but it won't change our trajectory."

"Then the decision should be easy for you. Why stand in the way of the inevitable?"

"It still doesn't comfort me knowing that even in some small way I'll be responsible in converting the whole world into slathering, murderous imbeciles enthralled to evil incarnate."

He laughed uproariously at first, and oddly enough, I heard no malice to his tone, just merriment. Between his mirthful cackles, he mused, "Slavering imbeciles. You have just encapsulated your whole failed race with just a simple phrase. Well done, William. You seem to find humor in any situation. Better than most of your kind."

"I wasn't trying to be funny."

"And that's your one, true flaw, William. You are too honest. I would have thought the events of the past year would have purged you of such pedestrian tripe."

I ignored his backhanded compliment and pressed on. "Besides Kahelane and myself, how many useful idiots have you done this to before?"

"I told you this already."

I said in a mocking tone, "Not really. I suspect hundreds, but probably thousands before me. So many attempts and so many failures..."

"Careful now. I like you William, but you're testing my patience again. There are other ways I can punish you besides death, for you and those you love, and still get what I want."

"Yes, I've seen the two guardians down below...and their handiwork."

"There are worse things than my hounds that reside in the pits of Hell, and there are far worse things that can happen to you besides flaying. Don't spoil my plans for you."