Is this all that we are? We wretched few... Is this all that we're destined to become?
//
"You killed him! You monster, you beast!"
The girl was sobbing but there was venom in her eyes.
An actual desire to kill.
When I went home, I went straight to my grandmother.
"Baba? Am I a monster?"
The woman gasped.
"No sweetie. You're a child; and a very sweet one at that."
She picked me up, and tickled me a little, and I giggled as she sat me down on her lap, a more serious look on her face.
"Who told you that you're a monster?"
"Rebecca from class."
"Oh? And was there a reason for her to say that?"
I nodded.
"I killed it."
"It?"
"A rabbit," I answered, and she frowned.
"And how did you kill the rabbit?"
I began to rub my hands, nervously.
"I gave him too many treats, and he died."
The old woman frowned.
"Did you know that the treats would kill him?"
I shook my head.
"And why did you give him the treats?"
"Because he likes them."
"Hm," the old woman hummed, as she picked me up, and set me down on the floor.
"Well you definitely aren't a monster, sweetie, but if your actions did kill the rabbit, then you are responsible. There are two things that you should learn from this. One, is that the things we enjoy are sometimes not the best for us, and in the case of Mr. rabbit, may be fatal even. The second, is that when you love something, your responsibility is not only to give that thing happiness, but to understand its needs, so that you can care for it properly."
I nodded, studying my grandmother intently.
"Like you, my little rabbit. You are not like the others... you need a special kind of care, and that does not make you a monster, my love."
I giggled as she pinched my cheeks.
"But what about Rebecca, Baba? She wants to kill me!"
"Well, we certainly can't have her do that! But... maybe she's just feeling hurt, since Mr. rabbit is gone. Did you love Mr. rabbit?"
I shrugged.
"He was fun, and I enjoyed feeding him and playing with him."
"And will you miss that?"
I thought about it, then nodded.
"Well, Rebecca probably misses that as well. I'll tell you what; after Rebecca has had some time to heal and cope with her own feelings, you should apologize to her."
When I went back to school, I did apologize to Rebecca, but...
"I don't care. Hoppy is not coming back, and you're a monster!"
I reported the response to my grandmother, and she nodded.
"Grief can be a powerful thing," she said.
"Well I think it's stupid; and anyone who feels it is ugly!"
"Oh? Let me speak with your parents, and tomorrow, I'll take you to see someone, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because I think there's something you need to understand."
The next day, my grandmother took me to a place I didn't recognize, and there, I met a girl on a bed.
She was sick, and couldn't move much.
"Hi Cindy. This is the grandson I've told you about," my grandmother explained, and the girl waved at me, smiling.
They talked for a bit, and I paid attention at first, but soon the words drowned out into background noise, and my eyes zoomed in on a picture, on the table beside the bed.
There was a boy in the picture who reminded me of myself, and he was smiling and standing next to the girl in the bed, except she looked happy, and healthier too.
"Do you like the picture?" the girl asked, snapping me to attention.
I nodded, and my grandmother reached for it, and handed it to the girl, and she brushed her finger over the boy, tears forming in her eyes.
Oh no! She's crying. Will she call my grandmother a monster?
I watched carefully.
"You miss him; don't you, Cindy?" my grandmother asked, and as she nodded, she smiled, and wiped the tear away.
"You were right... little Nathan is just like him," she said, and she looked at me and smiled.
As we talked, I felt a kind of happy feeling, especially when Cindy looked at me and smiled, and after we left, I asked my grandmother about it.
"Baba. Why did you take me there?"
"I thought you could learn an important lesson from Cindy," she explained, and I nodded.
"She had tears, but she did not scream monster," I said, and my grandmother nodded.
"She lost her brother. Just like Rebecca lost her Mr. rabbit," she explained.
"He died?"
"Yes sweetie."
I rubbed my chin.
"But... why did she smile, with the tears? Didn't it make her sad?"
My grandmother nodded.
"It did sweetie. You see, people can react differently to the same feeling."
"So... Rebecca and Cindy both felt the same thing? Grief?"
"Yes."
"But Rebecca got angry, and Cindy... was happy?"
"Oh no, little rabbit. She wasn't happy... but sometimes when you miss someone who you care about a lot, and they aren't there anymore, you chose to remember them fondly, because you know that they would want to see you smile, rather than cry."
I wasn't sure I understood, but there was one thing I learned.
Rebecca's actions were ugly, while Cindy's were beautiful... and if I had to choose which of the two I wanted to emulate, then I would try to be like Cindy... but I was soon to find out that that was not quite as easy as it seemed.
"What is wrong with him?"
"Why is he smiling? Doesn't he understand?"
"Something's wrong with that child."
But despite their words, I smiled.
"Hey, turd-face! What's your problem? Is this a joke to you?" Julie said, shoving me hard in the chest.
"No, but momma hates it when we cry, so I'm smiling to make her happy."
"She's dead, genius. She can't be happy or sad or anything! And she's not
