The shards of wood flew through the air and landed squarely at the foot of the bed as another foot, this one armored, smashed through the flimsy inn door. The moaning in the room ceased just as those useless shards of dead tree made contact with the planked floor, and the two sets of eyes in the dimly lit room snapped to the stranger, each one wide with surprise.
"Countess Kylathia Windthorpe, your REIGN of TERROR ends tonight!" the bass voice thundered. The paladin's gauntlets clenched even tighter around his sword as he strode into the room. "It is by my hand of Righteous Judgment that I will rend your stain from this plane of existence! So get off that man and face me like the monster that you are!"
The woman slowly turned her head, pushing her white hair out of her pale face. She was still trying to catch her breath as her unfocused eyes attempted to read the facial profile of the man who was yelling so furiously at her. Kylathia shuddered for a moment, briefly toppling to the side before she caught herself and sat back up straight. "Look, um... this sex is really, really good right now... so can... can we maybe do this another time? Honestly, I'm happy to schedule with you... sign a contract... " she began to stutter.
"Sex? Do you THINK me so NAIVE, BEAST? I know how Vampires like you prey upon the weak, when they are ASLEEP," the man continued, taking slow, methodical steps into the room.
"No, no, please, honestly, the sex is great, we're fine here," the man under Kylathia moaned. He adjusted himself, moving his tanned face around her body to get a look at the invader. He nearly choked as his eyes adjusted to the light. "Loderic, is that YOU?!"
"Taikash?!" the paladin cried out. "What are you DOING? Get away from her! She is a vampire who will prey on you, you idiotic playwright!"
Kylathia gritted her teeth, red eyes flitting from one man to the other. If her long fangs hadn't been apparent before, they were certainly apparent now, standing out from her human teeth like two porcelain blades. Her red lips were pulled back in concern and embarrassment as she slowly slid Taikash out from inside of her cold body while they spoke.
"Loderic, I do believe the first words out of my mouth when we met the Countess were, 'Can you believe she's a vampire?' But you were too busy chastising the Dwarf over his choice of deity to actually listen, like always," Taikash responded.
"I... I mean it's kind of apparent, really... What, with the dead skin, black veins, red lips and all. I don't try to hide it," Kylathia muttered. She turned around to look at Loderic, nestling into the bed next to Taikash. Her breasts were still somehow contained by her bra, though it looked like she was going to be taking it off at any moment, and not just due to how much it was confining her ample bosom. She was a larger woman, but by no means portly. Her stomach, thighs, and derriere were all exquisitely ripe for a woman of her build, despite her dependence on blood. A small ponch of stomach sat lightly upon her legs as she rested upright against the wall, which she then cradled with her thin black-nailed fingers.
"Wait... wait... I know you. You were the one we met in the market earlier today. The woman who called herself Tessa. Weren't you... thinner?" Loderic asked, feet still planted firmly on the ground, but his eyes scanning the woman carefully from behind the visor of his helm.
"Really, you notice her weight but can't notice she's a vampire? Loderic, you have the most fucked up priorities," Taikash scoffed.
"Well it doesn't matter what her weight is!" Loderic shot back. "She is one of the dark kin, and I still aim to remove her from this world! And don't you dare question my priorities, He-Who-Fucks-The-Dead."
"What? I mean, look at her, what has she done wrong? And yes I'm going to question the man who can't recognize a vampire when one stands in front of him! Or refuses to listen to his wise friend of the Bardic-persuasion." Taikash said. Kylathia petted his shoulder as he said this, smiling lightly at the kind words.
"Good Gods man, she drinks blood! Human blood, Elvish blood, Orcish blood, she doesn't care where it comes from!"
"I mean, Orcish blood isn't the best, Loderic," Kylathia finally piped up. "Yeah the blood isn't bad, but you still need to bite their flesh, and you've smelled an orc, right? Right, he has smelled them, Tai? Didn't you mention something about an orc encampment?"
"Yes, yes, we've both smelled many an orc. Not pleasant to say the least. Probably tastes even worse in your mouth. Don't really want to imagine that," Taikash retorted.
"Yes, well, I'm sure it's probably not the most pleasant, considering the lack of soap, perfumes, and... Wait, why in the seven planes am I even having this conversation? I came here to stop the vampiric scourge in this town, and clearly we've found the source," Loderic said with a pleading tone. He pointed his sword at Kylathia and waved it around at her, as if he were trying to make his pointing as obvious as possible.
"Oh, that? No, no, I'm not doing that, I'm just passing through. Honestly was traveling down to Havensfall to play in a poker tournament," Kylathia said with a shrug.
"Bullshit," Loderic interjected. "You have a constant thirst! Of course you're drinking blood here!"
"Actually..." Taikash added a bit sheepishly. "She doesn't have the thirst."
"There is no known vampire in the world who does not have the thirst, Tai. That's why they're vampires, and that's why we murder them."
