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A big thanks to Cassie69a and Happyyy_ for their huge help in editing!
If you're joining this story now, I highly recommend reaching chapters 1 and 2. Otherwise things won't make much sense.
TW: Reference to Sexual Assault
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Chapter 3: Revelations
I gripped the hilt of Raanrealt tightly, warding off every ounce of his charm. The tear that had threatened fell from the corner of my eye. "And you didn't think to tell me you were married?"
My voice oozed pain and anger, but his countenance betrayed no sign of fear at me holding the dagger. "If that's a problem for you, you may rest assured that we're no longer together in any practical sense. We've hated each other for a long time."
"What's wrong? She didn't like your habit of extorting a village for young women?" My tone was venomous, and my knuckles were white on the hilt of my dagger.
From Queran's expression I knew I'd gone too far. He didn't look angry; his expression just went blank. Studiously blank. His face was a bronze mask that hid all emotions. He spoke with no inflection, but there was clearly pain behind the words. "Is that how our agreement is remembered among your people?"
For an instant I wanted to recant what I'd said. He was hurt, and deep down I didn't want to hurt him. I also didn't know how he would react. I recalled once again the bandit's head rolling to the ground and shivered. But he had it right. That is how we- how I- felt. A few nice dresses and orgasms didn't make up for that. I steeled myself and tilted my head in mock curiosity. "Is that not the way of things? You deal with our problem and take a captive in exchange."
It was unnerving how little emotion reflected in his face. Just studious blankness. He stood up suddenly and threw on a light coat with a fur lining. "I'm leaving for a few hours. I need to do some thinking."
He left the house without another word. After a moment, I could hear Nelly huff uncomfortably, clearly distressed. Then silence.
I flung myself into the mattress and yelled into the pillow in frustration and fear. What a mess I'd made of things. Thoughts raced through my head unbidden. Had I jeopardized the whole deal? If the village was threatened again, would he answer? What if when he was done thinking he concluded that he didn't want me here after all?
I tried to push those thoughts out of my head. If he was so angry about calling this extortion, maybe he should take a look at his own behavior.
I swore under my breath. The audacity! He turned my life upside down and then got offended when I called him out on it. And on top of it all, he just up and left! I swore again. I had ignored every warning sign. Everything I knew about Queran told me he was dangerous, yet ten minutes after he came home, I had practically thrown myself at him. I grappled with the feelings of guilt and shame and cringed. I'd been away from my village for a week and was already throwing myself at the first man I saw; a married man at that. I felt sick remembering how I had traded the last gift he owed me to be eaten out of all things. What had I been thinking?
I grunted indignantly and stood up again. I briefly considered putting on one of the dresses. They were nice, but I wasn't particularly in the mood for his gifts. A bath would have been nice after last night's activities, but leaving the house wasn't exactly appealing. After all there was the small issue that the woman who tried to have me murdered had only recently left. I looked through the pile of dresses and came to my book at the bottom. I belatedly realized how high the sun had already gotten in the sky. I swallowed one of the tiny round leaves that would supposedly keep me from getting pregnant no matter what Queran decided to do with me. Maidensfriend, they were called. It seemed an ironic name, given their purpose.
Several hours came and went. It was quiet and might have been pleasant except for the weight of my host's rumination. As it was, it felt claustrophobic in the cabin. I was stuck here, unable leave for fear of a vengeful mistress.
As another hour passed, I started to feel uneasy. It began subtly, just a slight feeling of discomfort. But every moment it seemed to worsen; the walls seemed to close in on me even though I could see them standing still as stone. It didn't feel like a normal fear. This fear was a tangible thing, like I could reach my hand out and grasp it, but I even feared to touch it. I could hardly breathe. Everything felt so cramped. My vision swayed. My heart raced. Images flashed in front of my face. I lost my balance and collapsed from the sudden vertigo, my arms grasping weakly for anything to help myself back up. In a panicked blur I wondered if I was dying. I dragged my body to the door of the cabin. I needed fresh air. I pushed the sturdy door open and gasped at the crisp noontime day, ignoring my lack of clothing.
The source of my fear came into sharp focus as soon as I crossed the precipice. Standing in front of me was the towering form of a woman, skin pale and fair, raven dark hair that cascaded to her back in subtle waves, and full red lips. The color of her lips reminded me of some of the less reputable women of the village. She gave me an appraising look as terror continued to grip my heart.
"So this is my dear husband's latest slut? I suppose I can appreciate his tastes. Redheads are always a delight."
Her words reached me only faintly as the world seemed to spin and reality mixed with horrifying fantasy. I couldn't even open my mouth to respond to her mockery. I was back in the river with the bandits attacking me, but now Queran simply stared at the scene uncaring. I begged him to help, but his face was impassive.
Her voice came to me through the illusion, "He will abandon you, little whore. Just like he abandoned me, and like he abandoned every other girl who came here once he grew bored of them."
The vision faded again, leaving me curled in a naked ball on the doorstep of the cabin. I cried aloud as fear and guilt wracked my body. I opened my eyes hesitantly, scared to be assaulted by more visions. Huge birds gathered all around me, perched on the eves of the house. They were same ones I had seen in wandering around the Godswood for days on end, every hue of the rainbow, ranging from the size of eagles to the size of men. The tall woman stood amongst them; her mouth curved in a wicked smile. I tried to move my legs and found I had regained a semblance of control over my limbs. I bolted as fast as I could, making for the river. There was a cacophony of motion as hundreds of giant birds took to the skies in pursuit, clawing and biting as I ran. I came to my desperate hope- a sheer cliff which dropped into a deeper section of river. I swore I caught a flash of bronze from the corner of my eye as I jumped, plummeting into the frigid current.
Except I never seemed to hit the water. My head spun as I tried to make sense of the sensations, but instead of a hard splash into freezing waters, I was enveloped in a soft, warm embrace. The birds, too, were gone, I realized. I tried to look around wildly, but Queran- for it had to be Queran- held me firm.
"Don't worry. You are safe. It will pass."
I tried to relax, but my nerves burned to escape the danger that had seemed so real just a moment ago. The moment passed and my breathing steadied. Looking around, there were no birds harassing us. I was covered in scratches, but they were from the patch of brambles I had run through in my mad dash.
Queran still held me tenderly, "You're safe. I know what it's like. You're going to be alright."
My heart began to lessen its pace. Fear gave way to exhaustion, and I pulled him closer around me like a calming mantle. Words practically spilled out from him compared to his normally reserved demeanor and I realized he was crying. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you there. And I should have been honest from the beginning. I should have known she would try to hurt you again."
I breathed into his muscled chest. I took in the smell of spice that he always had and let it wash over me. Even with all that, I needed to set my mind at ease. "Why is she doing this?"
"Because she hates me and wants to hurt me through you. Because you're a threat to her. Because she's afraid of what you might do." I was taken aback, both at the answer and how quickly it had come from him. There was no trace of the reticence he displayed this morning.
The first answer made sense, but what could I do that would make her so afraid? I was about to ask, but before I could, he continued, "Are you well enough to walk, or would you like me to carry you?"
I took a tentative step, but my legs wobbled unsteadily. I flashed Queran an apologetic look, but he brushed it aside and lifted me effortlessly, one arm beneath my back, the other supporting me beneath my knees. Now my heart started to race for a different reason altogether. He bounded confidently back along a narrow path, his unshod feet silent on the forest floor.
The cabin came back into view in the distance along with his wife who still stood menacingly, but Queran's closeness warded off the renewed onslaught of power from his wife. I shut my eyes and let my consciousness melt into him to the exclusion of all else. Even her venomous tongue sounded like distant whispers. After a bout of muted barbs traded between the two of them, Queran carried me inside the cabin and set me back down.
"Because she is my wife, I don't have any power to expel her from my lands, else I would have done so long ago. That means it's no longer safe here for you. Gather what you need from here and we'll leave tonight. We'll go to Acera's home until something can be done."
My tension eased at the mention of Acera. She had been so kind and comforting when she visited. I threw on my travelling clothes, the first thing I'd worn all day despite the fact that the sun was beginning to set. Next were my things. I reached for food, but Queran cut me off.
"I'll take care of keeping us warm and fed. Bring the things that matter to you."
I gave a silent breath of thanks and grabbed my book and dresses and stuffed them into a bag. Then grabbed Raanrealt and stuck the sheath into the belt of my travel clothes. Queran grabbed his strange bronze leaf-bladed staff and a change of clothes for himself.
As we left the cabin, I looked nervously at Queran's wife, but with my dagger I felt insulated from her power. There were no illusions, no crippling terror, just a bitter woman impotently spitting insults. It seemed quite childish now; I wondered if she'd always behaved like a spoiled princess or if her demeanor was solely from her apparent bad breakup with Queran.
We walked only a short distance to a bank of the river I hadn't seen before. A few wooden boats sat on the beach, proudly jutting towards the water. I had assumed we would walk. I'd never travelled by boat before.
'You get in first, I'll cast us off." He saw my hesitation, "It's the fastest way to Acera's home, we just need to float downstream. Don't worry, I won't let us tip over."
"What if there are bandits on the banks? We can't run if we're in the water."
"The walls are tall enough to duck down and thick enough to stop arrows. And even then, you're forgetting I can fly."
I still wasn't thrilled, but I relented and took a seat on one of the spots inside the huge canoe. It was more stable than I thought. People back home talked about boats like they needed some special athletic ability to use, but we just seemed to float and let the river carry us. Occasionally Queran hoisted the paddle just to guide us and keep us from drifting to shore prematurely, but otherwise we just drifted.
His voice came again from behind me, it sounded almost wistful. "We'll arrive at the border of Acera's lands tomorrow in the late morning."
Curiosity struck me. "How do you two know each other?"
"Most of our kind are familiar with each other. There are few enough of us left. That said, Acera is a good friend who has helped me out quite a lot. She's also considered..." He paused, "You might call it royalty. She has a lot of sway among our people."
I thought back to the grandmotherly woman who had stopped by to look after me, bringing me bread and fruits and company. She hardly seemed like royalty, but then again, Queran's wife had seemed terrifying until her power was stripped away. I wondered what Acera would be like while I had my dagger.
Hours passed in contemplative silence. I belatedly realized that I hadn't eaten anything today as the sun passed its zenith and made for the horizon. My stomach twisted and churned, unaccustomed to the hunger after the past week where there always seemed to be plenty of food in the various stockpiles. As if sensing my discomfort, Queran spoke up.
"We'll make camp nearby. If you set up our sleeping space, I can find us something to eat."