An Incident at Harcoc

Admiral Stanos office in Space Fleet Command was truly impressive. The window looked out over the vast spaceport where ships were readied for their missions. The wall behind the Admiral's desk was covered in framed awards, degrees from Space Fleet University and pictures of the Admiral shaking hands with almost everyone important. Shika looked across the great expanse of oak that was the Admiral's desk at the pictures. One in particular caught her eye. It seemed somewhat distorted. The picture showed the Admiral shaking hands with President Artimus while leering insanely at the First Lady's bust. "Damn! Even the digital cameras don't really work right any more," she thought as her eyes roamed over he other frames. Another caught her eye. "Awarded to Admiral Charles Stanos for Performance Above and Beyond the Call of Duty". That seemed all right, but the award seemed to have been given to him by a whorehouse on Bounder's Pleasure Planet. "Must be a joke award given to the Admiral by his fellow senior officers out of admiration," Shika chuckled under her breath.

Shika rose from her chair as the Admiral entered the room. "Good Morning, Admiral," said Captain Shika of the Space Fleet Ship, Searcher.

"Sit down, Captain," the Admiral said gravely while seeming to stare at the cleavage showing at the top of Shika's jump suit. A drop of spittle showed at the corner of his mouth.

"Any news of poor Captain Dansil, Admiral?" asked Shika out of concern for her friend and lover, who was introduced in the last poorly written episode.

"Doctor Laudra has things well in hand, I'm sure, Captain," Said the Admiral seating himself in his big Admiral's Chair while rubbing an apparent lump in his crotch, "But that's now you are here. I need you to take your hot little... umm... ship on another mission of some kind." Checking his Cliff Notes and astrological chart the Admiral continued, "This mission is of grave importance. You must not fail, Captain."

"Yes Sir, Admiral!" Shika responded immediately, "The Searcher is ready and able, Sir!" Leaning forward Shika listening intently as her breasts nearly fell out of her jump suit.

"Damn! I like a girl with big... um who's always ready for action... um in the line of duty, I mean," shouted the Admiral enthusiastically as he inadvertently noticed Shika's melons popping out with just a hint of pink nipple showing.

Just then the Admiral's secretary, Ms. Cumtwatt, entered the room and, excusing herself, bent over at the waist exposing her bare ass as her skirt rose up and whispered in the Admiral's ear. "Ahem. Thank you Ms... whatever your name is. Now down to tits, I mean, business," said the Admiral, "A member of the high council has been kidnapped. Intelligence thinks the Councilor is being held prisoner on the planet Biggun in the HarCock system. Your mission is to go the Biggun and retrieve the Councilor. This is a dangerous mission so be extremely careful, Captain."

"Don't you worry, Admiral. I'll get your man out of there."

"Um... the Councilor is not exactly a guy, Captain. In fact the you will be looking for Lady Beth SlikKitty of the Lezzbo delegation," said the Admiral with some trepidation. "Raging dyke as I recall. Even tried to... never mind that, Captain. Get going."

Jumping from her chair and giving the Admiral a snappy salute Shika exclaimed, "No problem, Admiral. I can handle a woman."

"Umm, I hope not... I mean, very good, Captain. Your ship is being readied as we speak."

Shika strode to the door and headed for the Searcher, stopping on the way to stock up on KY Jelly and AA batteries, just in case.

The dildo shaped Searcher streaked across the vastness of the cosmos like an arrow through the scrotum shot from the bow of Odysseus Feldman, the raging queen of Hoboken, himself. It rocketed straight and true to the HarCock system. At the outer edge of the system Shika slowed to sub-light speed to reconnoiter. "Computer. Scan the system and give me the co-ordinates for the planet Biggun," Shika commanded the ship's computer.

Instantly the computer responded in the male voice customary to the Cheapiac 5000 series on-board computer Space Fleet hand recently installed on all its ships, "Give me a minute, bitch! The Lakers are ahead. OK?"

Shika settled back in her Command chair. With nothing else to do her fingers quickly traced over the Communication keys set in the arm of her command chair. Instantly the monitor in front of her sprang to life with a picture of Doctor Laundra's office. Strapped to a chair was her love, her Densil. The Doctor seemed to be on her knees in front of Captain Densil with her back to the camera inspecting something in Densil's lap. "Doctor...Doctor Laundra? How's the patient today?" Shika asked concerned.

The Doctor looked over her shoulder at her monitor. Shika noticed the communications had still not been repaired as the Doctor's computer generated image appeared to have something gooey runny out of the corner of her mouth. Then the image appeared to swallow hard and said, "Oh, Captain Shika. The patient is just as hard... I mean doing fine. Great, in fact. I've never seen a bigger...um... improvement in my life."

"And what about the virus, Doctor? Have you isolated that yet?" Shika asked wonderingly.

"Oh. The virus? Yes. The Virus. No not yet but I am working on it very hard, my dear. Now I'm busy. I must get back to the cock, I mean my work." With that the Doctor's computer generated image erroneously appeared to lift her skirt and, straddling the bound Densil, ease herself down, impaling herself on his erect member. At that the monitor screen went blank.

"Oh poor Densil," Shika thought, "I'm so glad the Doctor has taken such a personal interest in making him well again."

"Okay. Here's the data you wanted," came the voice from the computer, "And by the way, girl, nice rack!" Numbers began scrolling across the monitor screen ending with the co-ordinates of Biggun.

Moving her fingers quickly over the keys, Shika piloted the Searcher toward the co-ordinates given by he computer. Within minutes the planet was visible on the monitor screen. Shika moved the fingers of her other hand and opened a communications link to the Admiral.

The monitor jumped to life giving a silly, error ridden, computer generated appearance of the Admiral jacking off at his desk with a picture of Doctor Laundra in his hand. The static coming from the speakers sounded strangely like "Oh baby. Give it to me. You are so damn hot." Shika knew, of course, this was the computer glitch that had been plaguing the Searcher and all the Space Fleet ships for the longest time. After all, sex was strictly forbidden among Space Fleet personnel and how much more Space Fleet could you get than the Admiral?

The Admiral's image seemed to open its eyes, drop the picture in a desk drawer, straighten its clothes and say, "So, Captain. You've reached Biggun space? Get down on your knees... I mean... give me your report."

"Yes Admiral. I'm in orbit 1000 kilometers above the surface. I intend to take the shuttle down and search for the Councilor in a few minutes," reported Shika.

"Good. Let me know when you are safely back on board, Captain," the Admiral replied scratching his chin, not really knowing what was going on but trying to look impressive and in charge.

Signing off, Shika walked back to the shuttle bay. Before boarding the shuttle, however, she opened the weapons locker and took out a Dork Gun and several magazines of Dork Darts. This was a weapon Shika had heard about on the Martha Stuart Memorial Internet Show. It was one of those new and improved, "non-lethal" weapons that were growing in popularity among certain reformed, though still active, urban terrorist groups. The gun was easily worn as a bracelet on the arm so Shika clipped it onto her right wrist. At the last minute she also picked out a rather nice, purple, 10-inch, multi-functional, Swiss Army vibrator (things have rather changed for the Swiss Army in the future), thinking, "You never know when one of these might come in handy."

Strapping herself into the pilot's seat of the well used Road Kill 700, planetary shuttle craft Shika began pressing buttons on the control panel in preparation of leaving the Searcher. After the engines were primed and purged, all system checks completed and an inventory taken of the refrigerator Shika opened the intercom to the Searchers main computer. "Computer. Shuttle ready for launch. Open shuttle bay doors. After I'm gone close and lock down everything and engage the auto-defense system. Acknowledge," Shika commanded.

"Oh hell. I know what to do, Captain. You just watch that cute ass of yours and come back. You hear me?" the computer responded.

Shika thought for a moment then said, "Are you sure you're not broken, computer?"

"Of course not, Captain. But I would love to ram my push-pull amplifier into your transistor package and show you what for," exclaimed the computer with a chuckle.

"Gawd. You know the rules about sex, computer. Now open the doors."

The shuttle bay doors slid silently back on their tracks revealing the star field outside the Searcher. Pushing the thruster bar forward just a fraction of an inch the shuttle lifted and began to accelerate towards open space. After clearing the shuttle bay Shika brought the ship around and began the short decent to the planet's surface.

At 10,000 feet, Shika leveled off and began a surface scan for Lezzboian life forms. Almost immediately the scanner began to chirp madly like a metal detector locked onto Blackbeard's treasure. Addressing the shuttle's Cheap-o-matic 200 on-board computer Shika said, "Computer, confirm the identity of the Lezzbo contact."

Instantly the computer's male voice responded, "Hey baby. Tell you what, Sugar. You picked up either a Lezzbo or a Timex watch. It's very difficult to tell the difference. Oh, by the way, nice ass, baby."

"Nothing works right in Space Fleet. They always buy the cheapest crap they can lay their hands on and what do ya get? Smart ass computers!" cursed Shika.

Setting the shuttle down behind a screen of low trees Shika picked up her weapons and left through the airlock to search for the Councilor. The sensor scan seemed to indicate the target was located in a low building about one hundred meters to the west. Shika moved cautiously in that direction, keeping a close lookout for danger at every step. At the building Shika pushed open the only door she could find and stepped into a garden courtyard filled with Zenubian Vine flowers and Golden Fig Palms. Then the lights went out.

Opening her eyes Shika found she was completely naked except for the Dork Gun on here wrist. Shika tried to sit up but could not. Trying to move her hands and legs she discovered she was on her back with her arms securely shackled above her head. Her legs extended over the end of the table at mid-thigh with her ankles shackled to the floor spread eagle. By turning her head, she could see the room where she was held prisoner. The walls were barren except for a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge, circa 1967, and a rusted steel door with the small window near the top covered from the outside. Near the door was a small wooden desk and chair. On the desk was the Multi-function Swiss Army Vibrator, a tube of Anal Ez and a box of Kleenex.

"I see you are awake, Space Fleet bitch," came a low, gravely voice. Out of the shadows came a very large, tall man. As he came into the light Shika could make out his extremely hideous features. He had low brow ridges and fangs that extended from his upper jaw over his lower lip past his jaw line. But his most striking feature was his piggy nose. "Now we will make you fear all members of the Harcock Empire," grunted the man. With that the man took Shika's right nipple in between his thumb and forefinger and pinched it hard.

"Oh God! Please stop," screamed Shika even though she could feel the juices beginning to flow between her thighs. This reaction spurred the man to pinch the other nipple too. Again Shika screamed, "Oh, please. Stop that in about half an hour. Oh God!"

"Now, Space Fleet, Bitch. You will get the fucking of your life," grunted the man as he unzipped his pants and let them drop to the floor around his ankles. Taking his cock in his mighty hand he waved it in front of Shika's face. Shika stared at the cock and began to laugh. It was he smallest cock she had ever seen. "Stop laughing, Space Fleet Bitch," the man commanded. "You will be screaming for mercy when I ram my tool into you hot pussy."

The laughs from Shika only became louder. Through the laughter she managed to plead, "Oh God, No. Ha ha ha ha. It's just so big. Is it hard yet? Ha ha ha." With this the now angered man moved around to Shika's face and raised his hand to give her a mighty slap.

This actually was what Shika was waiting for (other than a damn good fucking, of course). Now that the man was close enough to her wrist she clenched her hand. Immediately a Dork Dart shot out of her Dork Gun bracelet striking the man just below his adam's apple. The man jerked and looked surprised, then stepped back saying, "Duhh. You want something?"

"Yes, Dork. I want that purple, multi-function Swiss Army Vibrator over on the table. Put it in my right hand. NOW!" said Shika in a commanding voice. The man did as he was told and with a flip of the selector switch on the side of the vibrator. A press of the trigger a laser beam shot out of the tip of the vibrator, which Shika directed at the shackle on her left wrist, then the right. Soon she was free with the Dorked man waiting patiently.

Now free, but entirely nude Sheka said to the Dorked man, "Ok, Dork, where's the Lezzbo?"

The Dorked man thought a moment and replied, "You mean the one who hated the fucking so much she almost died?"

"Yeah. That's probably her."

"Oh. She's right next door. Maxi-Balls is about to give her what for again," replied the Dorked man.

The Dorked man, who Shika soon discovered was named Maximus-Cummus, lead Shika to the next cell. On entering, she shot Maxi-Balls in the throat and soon he was as big a Dork as Maximus. Then, using the vibrator again, Shika freed the Councilor, who looked at Shika's naked body and began licking her lips. "Let's go. We gotta get out of here, Councilor," Shika said looking around wearily. "These guys are going to want to fuck us with their, um, undersized equipment," Shika said with a grin, stifling another laugh.

Maximus showed the two women the way out into the garden courtyard where Shira Dorked a couple more guys. Then out through the door into the countryside. Behind them a great roar went up from inside the building. Taking the Councilor's arm, Shika began running for the tree line and her shuttle. A quick look over her shoulder and Shika could see a full score of Biggonians chasing them holding their puny cocks as if that was going to scare someone with them.

Inside the shuttle, Shika immediately strapped in and boosted off the planet surface with now a full 50 Biggonians waving the cocks at the tiny ship. "Wow. That was close. I thought I might actually have to fuck those guys before we got away," said Shika with a grin. Then moving her fingers over the keys on the armrest of the command chair she opened a communications link to the Admiral. As the monitor screen leaped to life she was greeted with an electronic false image of the Admiral's secretary's back, seemingly sitting on the desk in front of the Admiral's chair, her skirt hiked up to her waist and wearing no panties. "Um, Admiral?" queried Shika.

The Admiral's head seemed to appear from under his secretary's skirt and peek around her waist at the camera. "Oh, it's you, Captain. How did the mission go?"

"Just fine Admiral. The Councilor is here with me and we are currently on course to Space Fleet Base 29,864. We should arrive in about a week, Sir."

"Good. Well, carry on, Captain. And make sure the Council is comfortable and gets every thing she wants. Space Fleet out." The monitor screen died.

Shika made a few adjustments to the Searcher's course and speed. Then she felt a pair of hands cupping her bare breasts, toying with her nipples. "Um, Councilor? Can I help you?"

"Oh, yes, Captain. The Admiral did say I could have anything I wanted," smiled the Councilor moving around in front of Shika and dropping to her knees.

"Shit! This is going to be another long voyage home. I can see it now," thought Captain Shika of Space Fleet.