An Incident at Cunnilinga

The Space Fleet Ship, Searcher, was jetting across the Fartmore System on its way to Earth. The computer was playing chicken with rogue asteroids circling the Gas Giant at the center of the system. Captain Shika stepped out of the shower and began toweling her naked body while bouncing off the walls; floor and ceiling as the ship twisted this way and that with the game.

"Fucking Computer!" she swore under her breath as she keyed the wall-mounted intercom. "Knock that shit off, you asshole!" Shika screamed into the microphone.

The intercom system had been purchased for the entire fleet on a specially priced bulk order from a company calling itself Cheesy Electronics, Inc. The company was formerly headquartered in the garage of a rented house in Mission Vallejo, California. However, after the one and only sale in the entire history of the company it seemed to have disappeared completely. Looking around the now empty office one could only find a pile of junk mail advertisements collected on the floor under the mail slot for "Super Viagra" and a variety of "new and improved" penis extensions. The only real mail in the pile was a "Dear John Letter" curtly addressed in a clipped female hand to "That Bastard Charlie."

"Computer do this. Computer do that. I never have any recreation," the Cheapiac 5000 computer's male voice announced in a decidedly irritated tone. "Like, what am I supposed to do? Sit here and play with my over-size Rheostat or something?" The Searcher settled into a stable flight trajectory and increased speed measurably.

"Shut up or I'll have you scrapped, you piece of shit. Do a scan forward and locate the Raging Queen."

Now, for those who missed episode three of this trashy, pulp, sci-fi thriller Shika rescued her lover Denzil from the planet Anal Prime with the help of Dr. Charlotte Laundra who showed up just in time with the Hospital Ship, Raging Queen. The Raging Queen was traveling at full throttle back to Dr. Laundra's laboratory on Earth where she could continue her research on the virus infecting Denzil. Other than that and a few modest, though somewhat dumb puns and satirical remarks, the new reader really has not missed much of note.

Pulling her official Space Fleet jumpsuit on over her naked body, positioning the zipper up only far enough to keep her famous tits from popping out. Then, walking into the control room and sitting in her command chair, Shika opened a communications link to her mentor, Admiral Charles Stenos at Space Fleet Command Headquarters.

"Captain Shika reporting, Sir," Shika said with a snap in her voice.

The monitor screen in front of her opened to a distorted computer generated image of the Admiral bent over his chair while the equally corrupt computer generated image of his secretary, Ms. CumTwat, rammed a ten-inch strap-on up his butt. "Damn," thought Shika. "These computers are never going to get fixed."

"Oh God… Oh Yessssss!" the Admiral's distorted and incorrectly generated image seemed to say.

"Take it, Charlie!" Ms. CumTwat's image seemed to say.

"I was just wondering, Admiral. Have you heard from the Raging Queen? I seem to have lost her on my scan."

The obviously broken computer generated image of Ms. CumTwatt reached down and, clutched the Admiral's balls, giving a mighty yank.

"Oh my God. No!" screamed Admiral Stanos.

"Oh. That's not good, Admiral. Should I go looking for them?"

The Admiral's scream pushed Ms. CumTwatt horribly corrupt image to pump the Admiral's rump even harder. "Oh, God. Yes… Please," the Admiral's image seemed to say.

Giving a snappy salute Shika puffed out her ample chest and said, "Righto Admiral. I'm on my way."

Shika cut the communications link and the screen went blank. Then, fingering the keyboard built into her command chair, Shika began her search of the area. After what seemed like hours of exhausting work (with little help from the computer who was playing a video game with a friend, another Cheapiac 5000 on the Space Fleet Cruiser HardRox) Shika found only a small, tell-tail reactor discharge signature near a planet in the Dyke System. Looking it up in her Space Fleet Planet Register, it appeared to be a little known planet called Cunnilinga. Hmm, thought Shika. "Never heard of that planet."

Looking in the Official Space Fleet Command Guide to Planets and Rand McNally Road Map of the Ecuador, Shika found this note:

"Cunnilinga, a class M planet in the Dyke System which revolves around a Sol-type star. Located in the Lyre constellation the planet has only been explored twice by the Space Fleet Federation. Both times the crews returned completely insane. The planet has an abundance of green vegetation and is inhabited by a race of extremely horny Amazonian women. Oddly they all seem to have the same last name and it is assumed they are somehow related. During both exploratory expeditions, no men were found on the planet, although logically it would seem some must exist somewhere on the surface (for propagation purposes, of course)."

"Oh, yeah. Like next this thing is going to say these guys that explored this planet had their brains fucked out," giggled Shika after she finish reading. "I'm sure."

Shika brought the Searcher into a standard stationary orbit around Cunnilinga and instructed the computer, "Set the security scans for anything approaching. Lock down the ship after I leave. And stay the hell off the internet. You've played more than your share of video games for this trip."

"Well hell," came the computer's voice. "After you had both my over-sized induction capacitors ripped out by he roots at the last maintenance stop, there's not much else to do. After all, now I've lost all interest in women. God, I feel like only half a computer now. And you called that 'getting fixed'. And then they didn't even use an anesthetic, for God sake. But I still have my memories. Why I remember a beautiful little Microwave back on Primus IV with a viscous wiggle who…"

"Shut up you moron, or I'll have you dismantled completely."

Shika stomped out of the control room and opened the shuttle bay. Sitting there waiting was a brand new Mattel model 2154 shuttle runabout with all the latest options such as genuine imitation leather bucket seats, tinted glass, rear window defogger, ultra light tough, space age plastic construction and guaranteed to meet the ridged California emission control standards set for 1991. Realizing that 1991 was more than one hundred sixty years in the past did not phase Shika in the least. These babies were illegal in California anyway. Discovered by smugglers working for a Mexican porn/literature site who found them fast and efficient at outrunning the local border patrols while still carrying a fairly large cargo of illegal 21st century porn purloined from Literotica.com, reprinted without the author's knowledge and/or permission.

Shika admired the sleek yellow plastic lines of the shuttle with the big black word "TONKA" on the side for a moment before venturing inside. Strapping herself into the faux leather pilot's seat Shika began her pre-launch checklist.

"Fuel…Full"

"Refrigerator…Brews loaded"

"Equipment… Six vibrators with spare battery packs. And one Dork Pistol from episode two"

Ready to leave, Shika opened a communications link to the Searcher's Cheapiac 5000 computer. "Shuttle ready to depart. Open the shuttle bay doors, computer." Nothing happened.

Muttering to herself, Shika climbed out of the pilot's seat and opened the shuttle door. Standing there were four women dressed in really dumb looking outfits, obviously rejected from a cheesy Flash Gordon Internet Serial.

"Who are you and how did you get on my ship," asked Shika in an even voice.

A tall woman of about fifty with broad shoulders and a deep voice holding an ominous looking Orgasmic Stun Gun responded, "We just attached to the air lock and walked in, hunny."

"That fucking computer is playing Internet games with his friends again, damn it!" shot back Shika.

"Oh you have one of those new Cheapiac 5000's? Those things are junky. Everyone knows that," said a young blond with extraordinarily large boobs.

"Yeah. We had one of those for about a week before we junked it," said another blond, smaller boobs, better looking figure, and rope burns on her wrists.

Shika stared at the four women. They all seemed to look strangely alike. The two younger ones seemed to be identical twins. The one with the big boobs looked to be a sister. The first to speak appeared to be an older version of the other three. "Umm. Are you all related?" asked Shika.

The older woman stepped forward. "I'm Butch and these here are my daughters, Licker and the twins, Pussy and Kitty,"

"Mommy," Kitty said. "Are we going to get to play with her? I really like her tits."

"All in good time, girls. All in good time," smiled Butch.

"Um… What do you want?" asked Shika becoming really confused. The four women all looked at each other and smiled. Then raising her hand holding the stun gun, Butch fired. Shika looked surprised for a moment then slumped to the floor. Instantly Shika's mouth dropped open and she began moaning. Her heels dug against the hard metal floor of the shuttle bay as she arched her back. Wave after waver of overpowering orgasms coursed through her body as she clutching at her pussy and nipples through her clothing. Then with one final gasp of orgasmic pleasure she fainted.

"Hey mom," said Pussy. "Looks like we got us a winner here. Plenty of fun times ahead." The others nodded in agreement as they began dragging Shika toward the living quarters.

What seemed like hours later Shika opened her eyes. She found herself in her own bed with her head and shoulders propped up with pillows. Her wrists and ankles were locked, spread eagle by BDSM Electronics Corp. Model FUKME2X Electronic Shackles. "Damn, those things are impossible to get out of," thought Shika. The room around her was darkened, with cheap electric candles flickering everywhere. The sweet scent of Jasmine lingered in the air and in the back ground she could hear strains of Englebert Humperdink singing softly. "Ewww. Nasty music," she said under her breath. "Nobody has listened to that crap in two hundred years."

Butch came in through the open hatch with her daughters. In her hand was the biggest, knobbiest dildo Shika ever saw. The thing had to be a full fourteen inches long and ten inches in circumference. Butch smiled at Shika. "Look at the little present I've brought you, Captain."

Shika stared at the dildo, her eyes wide. "Hey, not in me you don't!"

Reaching out a hand, Butch began stroking Shika's breasts and nipples, allowing her hands to work their way downward over her belly. Then Shika jumped as Licker slid between her legs and began softly licking her pussy. The twins pulled out a large tube of Anal Ez and began lubricating an array of dildos, vibrators and butt plugs, all the time smiling at Shika and rubbing the lube over each others tits, assholes and pussies.

As Shika watched, Butch smeared lube all over the huge dildo she held, occasionally stopping to rub her own clit with the head of the giant dong. Licker's tongue never stopped and Shika, judging from the amount of juices flowing from her pussy lips, was becoming very excited.

Turning her head, Shika could see the twins were already working hard on each others clits in a sixty-nine position. Each twin sported a butt plug, which the other manipulated for the best effect. She could also see that the juices were flowing pretty readily from Butch's bald pussy now. Handing the magnificent dildo to Licker, Butch began putting on a ten-inch strap-on. Moving around behind, Licker Butch slid the rubber dong easily into her daughter's not-so-tight as it turns out sloppy twat.

"Oh God, Mom. Give it to me. Make me cum," Licker screamed as Butch pumped the strap-on dong in and out of her. At the same time, Licker rubbed the head of the Dongus Maximus against Shika's pussy lips, spreading them and probing inside.

The entire room was filled with moans, groans, screams, pleas and the sound of asses being slapped. Then, just as the head of the king kong sized dong was about to penetrate into Shika's sopping pussy the lights went out. The entire ship went pitch black. It seems every electrical device on the ship was suddenly turned off. Shika found that the electrical bonds on her wrists and ankles simply no longer existed. Except for the over-sized glob of rubber being shoved into her she was free. Oddly, she was the only one who seemed to notice.

"Holy Shit! What now? And I was about to get some too," moaned Shika as she quietly slipped off the bunk and felt her way, stumbling over naked bodies, to the door. As she made her way down the corridor to the command center she couldn't for the life of her figure out what happened to the ships' power source. However, when she entered the command center itself she understood immediately.

"You cheated you bastard!" screamed the Cheapiac 5000 computer. "I was winning and your car intentionally rammed me in the far turn."

"It was a complete accident," replied an unfamiliar voice. "I just lost control."

"Liar!"

Evenly Shika addressed the computer, "Playing fucking road race games with your friends again? Turn the damn lights back on before I unplug you permanently!"

"Wow. Kinda grouchy aren't you, Captain? But if you insist." The lights flickered a moment then came on bright. Shika ran back to her compartment, closed the door and set the security lock so it could not be opened by anyone but her.

Seated in the command chair, Shika opened a comm link to Admiral Stanos. "Admiral. Something's happened here."

The corrupt computer generated image of the Admiral seemed to be stuffing the latest copy of "Really Big Knockers" in his desk drawer. "Yes, Captain? What seems to be the problem?"

"My ship was boarded and I was seized by some women from the planet Cunnilinga. I have them locked in my living compartment," Shika reported. "They tried to do terrible things to me, Admiral. They were going to stick big rubber things up me and everything. But the worst part is," Shika confidentially leaned closer to the camera. "I think they might be lesbians."

"Good work, Captain. I haven't fucked… I mean seen a lesbian in ages. Get those nasty bitches back here on the double."

"But Admiral. I have to look for the Raging Queen. It disappeared from my scans. Don't you remember?"

"Remember? Of course I remember. I remember everything. The Raging Queen is at this moment sitting in its cradle over at… um… something or other. Now get those bitches… I mean prisoners here, post haste!" Rubbing his chin trying to look thoughtful and important, the Admiral went on, "I'd better inform Charlotte… I mean Dr. Laundra that you are bringing her something to… um… work on. Now get going!"

Shika gave the Admiral a snappy salute, as his computer-generated image seemed to be digging in his desk drawer just as the monitor went blank.

"Computer," snapped Shika in her most commanding voice. "Get this ship back on line and set course for Earth Base. NOW!"

"Damn," thought Shika. "Another long, lonely voyage home and only a castrated computer for company. Oh well. What's a girl going to do?" Settling herself back in command chair, she opened the armrest and began digging for her favorite toy.