Brad was sitting at the bar sipping a bourbon on the rocks when a young lady came up to him.
"Greetings, are you Brad White?" The girl spoke with an accent he had trouble recognizing. Her eyes captured his attention after he scoped out her breasts and butt. They were a greenish-yellow, almost cat like. They also seemed slanted like she might be part Asian. He smiled at the thought he might get lucky tonight.
"Yes, do I know you, Miss? I can't believe I would forget a beautiful woman like you."
"Is that a compliment? If so, thank you. I was hoping to look sexually appealing for you. You seem to like looking at my breasts. Do you want to see more of them?"
"Uh... sure, if you don't mind."
She unbuttoned two more buttons and a great deal of her rather small tits were showing. "Is that better?" He nodded.
"Excuse me, Miss, but how did you know who I was?"
"Research. I went through a large number of profiles before I chose you as an acceptable man to mate with."
"Excuse me?" I almost spewed a large gulp of very expensive bourbon.
"I'm sorry. Do you prefer males of your species rather than females to have sex with?"
"Hell no. I am 1000% heterosexual."
"I don't understand. No one can be more than 100%. It appears that you made a mathematical error."
"I tell you what, lady, you are one weird chick with one beautiful face. And, yes, that is a compliment."
"Thank you. The earth name I have chosen is Celeste. Would you like to copulate?"
This time my drink doused the counter of the bar. "Is this some sort of practical joke? Are there hidden cameras somewhere?" Brad looked around the bar but didn't see a sign of a camera.
"This is no joke practical or impractical and I don't know if there are cameras or not. If you're not interested in having sex with me, I will have to move on to my second choice."
"No. No. I'm interested. Hell, yes I'm interested."
"Fine. Do you have a preference of where to go to have vaginal sex? I have rented a hotel room in case you don't already have a suitable place."
"A hotel room is fine with me. When do you want to go?"
"Now. Unless you have something better to do."
"I can't think of anything better to do than make love with a gorgeous woman like you."
"You keep making compliments. Do you think you have to do that to indicate that I am an acceptable woman to fornicate with?"
"Well, it usually takes me a few compliments, some close dancing, maybe coping a few feels and definitely a few drinks before I suggest sex to a woman."
"Strange. That's such a waste of time. Are you ready to depart?"
"Celeste, are we going in your car or mine?"
"I have no vehicle of transportation. I cannot drive."
"Okay, we'll go in my car."
"Is it a gas propelled vehicle? Do you drive it yourself or does it drive according to your verbal commands?"
"It is gas propelled. I have to drive it. Driverless cars are just coming out. What did you expect?"
"Nothing. It's just that it will be an exciting new experience for me. It's almost like going back thousands of years in history. You gas-propelled vehicle is agreeable to me. I have one question I am required by my government to ask before we can do this. Do you agree to have sex with me, an alien, for the purpose of making a hybrid baby?"
"An alien? Do you mean you're from Mexico or Guatemala? Are you one of those 'undocumented immigrants who want an American fuck them just so you would have an anchor baby?"
"No. I am one of those what you call outer space aliens. Our race is in need of refreshing the species. We have waited so long there are very few men on my planet are capable of providing sperm. Several of us females, however, are still able to produce eggs and to breed the old-fashioned way. A group of us have been lobbying the Governing Council for almost 100 earth years to get approval to breed with earthlings to see if the hybrid children are capable of being equal mentally and physically to our people.
"Brad White, let me assure you that there will be no expectation of you having to care for the child. The child and I will leave as soon as it is safe to travel after he or she leaves my womb. I am required by the Council to receive your consent before copulating. Does your response indicate that you do not wish to participate?"
"No. Just wondering. So, you're from another planet? I admit you are acting weird enough to be. I figure you're either from another planet or the mental institution, but I ain't picky. Hey, if you show me you have female parts, I am willing to show you that I have male parts."
"I will need to do more than see your parts. Are your genitals functioning normally?"
"I jerked off before I came here tonight. Everything worked just fine."
"You jerked off? Is that another word for masturbation?"
"Yes. How long have you studied English, anyway?"
"Two hours earth time. It wasn't that difficult. Are you rested enough to perform sexually now, or do you have to wait for recovery?"
"Honey, I've had a hard on since you came up and spoke to me."
"Does that mean that you are able to create and expel sperm now?"
"I am ready as I'll ever be."
"Let's go to your transportation vehicle then."
As they started to the door, a large man stopped them. "Hey, pretty lady, you're not leaving early are you. I haven't had a chance to dance with you yet."
"I'm sorry, but I did not come here to move my body in sequence with the music. Brad White and I are going to a hotel room and fornicate. Please excuse us. I would like to get started as soon as possible."
"Wait a minute. Are you saying you would rather fuck this dip wad here than me? I guarantee you that I have a bigger dick than he does."
"I anticipate that his penis is of adequate size to suit my purposes. It does not matter to me that your penis might be larger."
"I think I'll just have to show you how much better my cock is than his. Let's go out to my car and I'll demonstrate in my back seat." He grabbed her hand and tried his best to pull her. She didn't budge despite his superior size.
Celeste proclaimed sternly as he kept pulling, "Unhand me sir, or I will have to disable you. You will likely be hurt."
The man laughed. "Oh my! I am so scared. The little lady is going to hurt me. Whatever shall I do?
"You think I can't handle a small bitch like you? Come here." Again, he pulled her hard and again he couldn't budge her. She stayed planted right where she was standing.
Celeste asked the man, "Are you right-handed?"
"Yeah, what's that got to do with anything."
"I don't want to injure the hand you use to masturbate with. I assume from your low intelligence level that masturbation is one of few activities you can perform well." She grabbed his left hand and bent it back until everyone watching the scene could hear the bones crack and tendons tear. "Is that sufficient for you to let us pass? If not, I can break other parts of your body."
The man grabbed his damaged, bleeding left hand and screamed, "Go, get out of here, bitch. I bet you're not good in bed anyway."
"It doesn't matter if I'm good or not according to your standards. It only matters if my copulation with Brad White is successful in producing a child."
The man got one of his friends take him to the Emergency Room.
"Brad White, are you ready to go?"
"As soon as I pick my jaw up from the floor."
"Your jaw is five feet seven and one-half inches from the floor. Oh, was that a verbal expression that actually means something else? I have a lot of trouble with those. There are just too many of those in English for even me to remember."
*****
IN THE HOTEL ROOM
"Brad White, is this location agreeable to you for us to have sex?"
"Looks fine to me. I've had sex in a lot worse places than this."
"Good, let's get undressed." She moved with speed to disrobe, much faster than Brad.
Brad stood and stared at Celeste's stark, naked body. She wasn't Playboy perfect, but he was being offered a female body for the taking -- a more than rare opportunity for him.
"Do I look good enough that your body would like to mate with mine?"
"Your body is one of the best I've ever seen." He was thinking, of course, it was one of the few naked female bodies he had ever seen.
"I thought you would like the appearance of my body would be more pleasing than that. I must have misjudged what your individual preference in a woman would be. I can adjust my body to one you prefer more than this one."
"What do you mean 'adjust your body?'"
"For example, would you like my breasts smaller or my buttocks larger? I have the body most men on my planet would say is average, but I can change some parts. Is there some changes you would like me to make in my body?"
"You're kidding. Aren't you?" Celeste looked like she was waiting for an answer. "As long as you asked, actually, I would like to see slightly larger breasts with big nipples. Can you... "
Her breasts grew before his eyes. It looked like she went from an A to a DD in seconds and there were nipples two inches long on each breast.
"Holy shit! How did you do that?"
"On my planets, people have learned how to do what you humans call 'shape-shifting.' Are these breasts more to your liking?"
"Could you take them down a bit?" Her breasts reduced to a 36 C and one-inch nipples. Then he told her to stop. "That's better."
"If you would prefer me to make other alterations, I can do that although some parts of the body are more difficult to change without the proper medical equipment."
"Well, no offense, but your butt is way too large for my liking."
"That's funny. On my planet I am considered small butted. Women's breasts are small because they no longer have to breast feed babies. Small breasts and large butts are preferred by males of my species."
"I am beginning to think you really are an alien from another planet!"
"Yes, I am. I told you that already. Did you not hear me or do you have short-term memory loss? If so, that might indicate dementia and I cannot procreate with a mentally defective human."
"No. I don't have memory loss. It's just that I thought you were kidding earlier when you said you were an outer space alien."
"I have not learned how to make jokes yet. Maybe you can teach me. We will have a little time because I may need more couplings with you to make sure I'm pregnant. There's also a significant chance that we may not be biologically compatible for child production."
"You sure as heck look compatible to me. There's only one way to find out, I guess. Let's get started."
