The White Queen was worried, the tea interval had arrived and her team was losing badly. To make matters worse her sister had quite obviously put the fix in with the umpires and every close call was going against her.
"I really thought you were going to play fair Redgina. This game is far to important for shenanigans."
"I don't know what you're implying. The better team is just triumphing through skill Blanche, you need to accept the inevitable and concede now so we can all enjoy the tea and cucumber sandwiches at our leisure."
Blanche didn't bother to respond. When Redgina had agreed to settle the disagreement with a cricket match rather than the usual mortal combat she had seen it as an opportunity to move court politics into the twentieth century. As usual the result had proved more important to her sister than the manner by which it was achieved and Blanche's good intensions again proved to be her biggest weakness.
"The games over Alice, the Red Queen won as usual!"
Dart seemed quite content with the news.
"But there is still a whole session to play; the White Queens team has a chance to save the match from the fire."
"The umpires have pulled stumps; it's defeat as always. Poor Blanche always gets beaten."
"That's really too bad. I was looking forward to seeing some more action."
"Action? Who are YOU to want action?"
Alice recognized the voice and turned quickly to curtsey to the Red Queen.
"I was just hoping to see some more play Ma'am."
"More play indeed. Didn't I instruct you to get plugged? Captain of the guard, plug this creature immediately."
The three obese guards managed to elbow their way through the tea throng to where the Queen and Alice were standing.
"She escaped your Majesty. Threatened us with physical violence then ran like the wind. We searched endlessly, looked in every nook and cranny but she must have been hidden by undesirables or worse. Poor Carmen broke a heel looking and I lost an eyelash."
Carmen leant forward and whispered far too loudly.
"It's the L.A.B.I.A your Majesty. It's always the L.A.B.I.A!"
Alice suddenly realized that the Queen was staring straight at her breasts.
"Those are really very well made, they almost look real."
"Look real? Of course they look real."
The Queen reached out with both hands and squeezed Alice's tits hard.
"She's a cow!"
The pavilion went deathly silent and every head turned to stare evilly in Alice's direction.
"She has udders, take this creature to the dairy!"